Sorry to hear about your dilemma. I am not sure there is a black and white answer to issues like this, and each situation should be treated individually without all the judgements being thrown around. Cats can be jealous and feel displaced by the new baby and feel threatened by them as they enter the toddler stage and start investigating things, inculding the cat. I do believe there is a responsibility to both the cat and the child, and there are different solutions for each case. Having access via the cat door means that you cannot always control when your cat is going to come in and they both might be unattended and you might want to consider changing that, if the dog needs to come and go that way you can get magnetic doors that only allow access to that particular pet. Also the cat needs attention too, and probably senses when you are upset at her, but also needs to understand that scratching the baby is not acceptable behavior. She may be happier in a different home with no kids, too, and if that works better for everyone there is nothing wrong with that, as long as it is handled properly. Sometimes you can get the situation to resolve by working with the cat (or dog) and the child, sometimes it just is not going to work, and you have to look for other options. Soft claws are good, but the cat can still bite, and after declawing (which as a vet I have never done and consider humane, it has never been legal in UK where I graduated) cats may bite more, as their primary defences are gone, plus it is traumatic, and not recommended for outside cats, and it sometimes takes a lot longer than a week to recover, or can change a cats temperament and behavior permanently. There are feline behaviorists too who might be able to help you work with the cat, as it often is resolvable, but your child definitely needs to be protected and to feel safe in their own home. Bach Flower Remedies can help with the cat's emotional issues too, if she is just scared, jealous or plain aggressive, and with the idea's people have suggested you may be able to improve the situation, or at least try to. Anyhow I hope you work it out one way or another, I think you just have to look at what is best for your family, child, cat and make the right decision and thats all you can do, it is not always black or white and if you do end up finding a good home for the cat, which might work out better I do not think you should feel guilty, yes a pet is a big responsibility, but doing the right thing for them sometimes requires that step. Not suggesting taking her to the pound where she would probably be euthanized but finding her a good home directly or through an appropriate rescue organization.