Distasteful Birthday "Traditions" - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 12:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The lack of common sense in some people really amazes me.

I went to a "First Birthday Party" for my friend's DS yesterday. It had been a long party, but finally they brought out the cake. His mom helped him blow out the candle, and then an older friend of the family said "Ok! Now it's time for our birthday tradition!!". They held the cake up close to the baby, and his mom pushed his face into the icing!!!

Of course, he started crying!! They all acted so surprised that he was crying, and someone said that it "must be because he had been grouchy today." Because, of course, it COULDN'T be that his mum had just shoved his face into a large cake.

I have NEVER heard of this "tradition" before, and honestly think it was plain awful...! I'm not very good at keeping quiet when I get upset at something, so I excused myself and went home. Am I crazy for finding this sad and unfortunate? Or is this a more common and accepted practice then I thought?
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#2 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 12:42 AM
 
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They pushed his FACE into the cake? Seriously? Awww, poor kid!

For 1st birthdays we always get a small smash cake in addition to the regular cake and smash babies hand in the cake and let them play with the cake. Ds had a blast shovling tons of chocolate cake into his mouth (and all over his face!) for his birthday. But of course we didn't put his face in the cake.

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#3 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 12:42 AM
 
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Sounds pretty mean and awful tacky to me! ugh- poor little birthday boy! I told my husband I'd divorce him if he shoved cake into my face when we got married, so I can't imagine doing that a little one!

Walking the slow & steady path to crunchy with my all granola kiddo and not at all crunchy husband.
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#4 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 12:44 AM
 
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I've never heard of that before!

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#5 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 12:46 AM
 
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I've never heard of that tradition before.

Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

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#6 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 12:49 AM
 
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The only tradition involving cakes and first birthdays that I've ever heard of is to give the birthday child a piece of cake (or a "smash cake" - only heard of that recently) and let them make a huge mess of themselves with the cake and icing.

Shoving a baby's face into the icing is messed up!

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
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#7 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 12:49 AM
 
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Never heard of that. I am really sad for that little sweetie. People never stop pi$$ing me off when it comes to the way they can sometimes treat children.

SAHM to Ivan 6/10/05 who says  signcirc1.gifand Matilda 1/31/08 who says saynovax.gif:::

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#8 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 12:51 AM
 
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We do the "mini" cake for baby too - but we definitely don't shove babies face into it!! We just put it in front of him and let him go to town....I've never heard of anyone shoving a child's face into the cake - how rude!!

Momma to two boys...: Nolan ('05) and
Dylan ('08) and expecting a July 2010!!
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#9 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 12:52 AM
 
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wow - i never would push a babies face INTO a cake! I cant believe people thought that was OK

In our family we do have the "tradition" of allowing baby to be as messy with cake as possible.. even encouraging the mess - but not physically doing anything either. At most we try to get the 1 yr old to mimic hand motions of rubbing their now caked hands in their hair...

~Kris mama to Alexis (15), Elizabeth (10), Andrew (7), and 1 angel
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#10 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 12:53 AM
 
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That's one of the meanest things I've ever heard. Poor baby. I want to shove a cake in that lady's face and see if she enjoys her birthday.

Laura, wife to David and mommy to Gabriel born Nov. 2 2008
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#11 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 12:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gabeycakesmama View Post
That's one of the meanest things I've ever heard. Poor baby. I want to shove a cake in that lady's face and see if she enjoys her birthday.
I know, right? I was so mad at her... My friend even said "well, I don't know if he's going to like that..." right before she did it anyway.
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#12 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 01:02 AM
 
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Okay, so that is totally bizarre in so many ways. Weirdos.
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#13 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 01:03 AM
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WHAT?! wow....
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#14 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 01:03 AM
 
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That is definitely strange.

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#15 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 01:45 AM
 
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Must be a family tradition only. I've never seen or heard of that before, and we've been to a LOT of first birthdays! We always just set a big piece of cake on the highchair tray and watch what happens.
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#16 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 01:50 AM
 
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Geez! My daughter would have freaked! She cried at her first birthday b/c she got icing on her fingers and it wouldn't come off and she didn't like the taste. She still won't eat cake.
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#17 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 01:58 AM
 
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I've heard of it. And not just babies. Seen it done to kids too. In laws of my inlaws.

-Angela
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#18 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 02:03 AM
 
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sick.
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#19 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 02:04 AM
 
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My dh did something like this to me on my 19th birthday.I still haven't forgiven him. Poor baby. Why do people think that this is fun?

I have one aunt in the family that loves icing fights. I can't stand them, especially when I make the cake. That's heart and soul in that icing!!!

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#20 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 02:57 AM
 
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now i did that as a teenager, and even as an adult, but for a baby, thats crazy!!!!

*~*Ashley*~* newly single mama to Tristan 10/01/2007
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#21 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 03:45 AM
 
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I've heard of letting the lo get as messy as possible on their b-day, we did that with ds1.
I couldn't imagine smashing a babies face into cake!

Elizabeth wife to Matt , mom to Logan (2/21/01) , and little man Desmond (9/23/08)

Mourning the loss of her father: Robert Edward Dillon 5/31/52 - 01/03/2011

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#22 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 04:12 AM
 
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Wow, that's horrible

Mom to:

Three big girls  twins.gif (10) + joy.gif (almost 9!); 

One little boy ROTFLMAO.gif(6) and a full on toddler diaper.gif  (8/12) born with TAPVR heartbeat.gif (repaired at 6 days old).

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#23 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 08:17 AM
 
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My family always did the birthday spanking. One swat on the bottom for every year. I thought this was universal, but so far no one's mentioned it. Was it just us? It wasn't a real spanking, but they always teased us that it would be. I never liked this one as a child - made me nervous.
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#24 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 08:29 AM
 
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I've heard of pushing the baby's face in the cake unfortunately. Pretty much everbody I know does the 'smash cake' and I've seen a couple times when the baby doesn't dig in and get all messy fast enough people will 'help' I hate it and would never do that to my baby.

I hate birthday spankings too.
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#25 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 09:16 AM
 
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That is pretty awful.
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#26 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 09:27 AM
 
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We always assumed that the birthday kid would get cake all over their hands, and probably face. But shoving baby's face into it is completely out of line.
I always thought the whole thing with shoving wedding cake in your new spouse's face was horribly tacky. But they are adults. I don't think I could allow my kids to spend much time around folks who have so little consideration for a child's feelings.

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#27 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 10:08 AM
 
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That is so sad, the poor baby..
How in the world is a newly one year old going to even understand what is happening to him?

We always let our kids have their own little cake and let them have at it themselves. If they enjoyed it, then great. If not, then we didn't push it.
Never would we force their face into it.
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#28 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 10:16 AM
 
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That is ridiculous and horible, I guess some people think they just do what they've heard done before. I've never seen or heard of this done in uk before and I don't get the idea to make as much mess of food and eating as you can kinda strange. A pp mentioned birthday slapping, good grief, they do birthday bumps here though, pretty sure not to little ones. In school on your birthday you would get picked up by several kids hands feet etc and bumped on the ground corresponding to your years, of course this could be painful.
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#29 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 10:25 AM
 
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so....I can't help but wonder, as I read about smash cakes, if this family is, well, lacking common sense? I mean, it sounds like they've see lots of pictures of first birthdays where the baby is all messy and covered in cake, never actually attended one and so didn't really reach the correct conclusion on just how baby got that way. It sounds to me that they thought someone helped. Weird and awful and just *duh*.
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#30 of 66 Old 02-09-2009, 10:26 AM
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like the others i haven't heard of this either. 'smash cakes' seem to be the norm.

the biggest 'tradition' that i hate is the "birthday spanking." my immediate family never did it, but one summer, i was at m grandmother's for my birthday (we happened to be staying there between houses (one sold before the next was available). my aunt (who is crazy) was also there at the time, and she said and did a lot of nasty things to us.

usually, my mom or dad would step in--for example, once i didn't want to eat boiled spinach, and my aunt said that if i didn't finish it, i'd have to take all of my meals on the floor like the dog,, and then proceeded to put my plate on the floor with the dog--and my parents said no.

but for some reason, they didn't say no to the spanking. this might be because the whole family was there--all 4 of my father's siblings, their SOs and children, and apparently they ALL did this at every child's party. (prior to this, we lived far away and so we always had family parties that were the immediate family, no GPs, Aunts, uncles, cousins, etc). so they allowed it.

i was humiliated and mortified. i really dislike that crazy aunt too. and her children are seriously f-ed up.
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