Are your friends crunchy? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 06:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
luna-belle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Belleville, Ontario
Posts: 65
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm not sure where the best place to post this is so if this isn't the most appropriate forum, that's okay.

I'm just wondering how many of your friends share your values, interests, parenting methods etc.?

I tend to be very anti-social at this stage in my life and I'm now realizing that it's because the people who I know don't share my interests. Conversations don't flow naturally because I think we both often realize that we don't agree on most things. I know that I don't need to agree with everything my friends do or have everything in common but it would be nice to feel like I'm not a freak because I cloth diaper, bf a toddler, practice elimination communication, delay or opt out of vaccines etc. It seems my friends who have children let them cry it out, stop bfing at a young age, use sposies, send their kids to daycare on a regular basis even though mom is at home etc.

Anyone else also feel like a freak and wish they had more crunchy friends?

My midwife once put me and another mama in touch because she thought we had similar interests and we lived around the corner from one another but I feel like she thought I was wierd for trying to start a friendship.. lol.. It's a wierd way to meet somebody.

Mama, wife, labour doula and HALO labour doula instructor, fertility and maternity reflexologist, certified dancing for birth class instructor, placenta encapsulator and placenta encapsulation trainer, owner of By the Moon.

Happy hippy mama

luna-belle is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 06:15 PM
 
4Blessings's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: At the arena
Posts: 934
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Even my sister tries to let her 4 mo old CIO at our house :

When we lived in a big city there were lots of crunchy mamas around. Now we live in a small town and I seem to be the only one


At our last Dr. appt. the Dr. mentioned how amazed her nurse was when she realized that we cloth diaper, breast feed a toddler, homeschool and the older kids are so well behaved. I guess they don't see that very often

Homeschooling mama of four fantastic kids and wife to one great guy.
4Blessings is offline  
#3 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 06:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
luna-belle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Belleville, Ontario
Posts: 65
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, I too live in a small small city and realize that is part of the problem. I know there are other crunchies out there but it's hard to find them and then when I do, it's not like I can say, "will you be my friend?" LOL

Mama, wife, labour doula and HALO labour doula instructor, fertility and maternity reflexologist, certified dancing for birth class instructor, placenta encapsulator and placenta encapsulation trainer, owner of By the Moon.

Happy hippy mama

luna-belle is offline  
#4 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 06:41 PM
 
columbusmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Running
Posts: 3,243
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've got both types!

Wife to DH(15 years)and Mama to: Jacob(5/02)kid.gifribbonpurple.gif, and Alina(7/07)energy.gifI luxlove.gifbellyhair.gif
columbusmomma is offline  
#5 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 06:44 PM
 
betsyj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 628
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well I used to think I was pretty crunchy until I discovered MDC. While we co-sleep, bf, delay vax, no circ, I also use disposable diapers and send my son to daycare.

I am actually a little less crunchy then some of my friends-one couple EC's, home schools, no vax.
betsyj is offline  
#6 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 06:52 PM
 
tbone_kneegrabber's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: West Philly
Posts: 2,748
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well I am an "anarchist" and have been part of an activist/anarchist/queer community for over 11 years. So most of my friends are way crunchy! Many of us now have kids all around the same age, 20mo, 19mo, 18mo, 14 mo, 7mo, 4mo etc and so I feel pretty lucky to have had all my wild and craziness/crunchiness established before having a baby and now have a bunch of friends in the same boat.

yeah I have friends from work who are more "mainstream," but I mean I have a mohawk and multiple tatoos, if you are too mainstream you probably don't want to hang out with me anyway!
tbone_kneegrabber is offline  
#7 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 07:56 PM
 
BarnMomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 460
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I feel honestly like I'm rejected by both groups so to speak.

We are not the most mainstream folks...we only eat local/organic food, use natural healing methods, grow our own food, we're outdoorsy, and enjoy all 4 seasons to the max. I cook everything from scratch. We drink raw milk. As for parenting we're pretty AP... co sleep, don't vax, no drugs, BF still at 19 mo with no plans to stop, no live TV for ds, natural toys, gentle discipline, and I'm considering home schooling. We have a non-chlorine pool. We don't use lawn treatments. I believe most everything can be fixed with apple cider vinegar and coconut oil.

But I use disposable diapers (7th gen), I drive a range rover (mainly becasue it can haul a horse trailer) and frankly I love my car, I like fashion, we love wine, we love gambling, horses, and I visit starbucks at least once a day for my espresso fix. And we're republicans.

We ride horses and have been dragging DS to the barn since he was 3 months old which you don't often see. We have a horse, cats, doves, quails, and a rescued legless snapping turtle that has taken over our basement.

Oh, and hubby and I have a 23 year age difference.

So finding like minded folks is next to impossible. The mainsteams reject us and think we're crazy and we're just not crunchy enough for the crunchies.
BarnMomma is offline  
#8 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 07:59 PM
 
maddycakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 113
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I probably have about 10-12 friends right now with kids within the 2 month - 4 year old range. With the exception of one friend, I am definitely on the crunchier end of the spectrum (and yet when I read about others on MDC I feel so mainstream! LOL!)

For example, of those friends only 2 other than myself BF for at least a year, and the others either never started or stopped within 6 months or less just because they didn't feel like they wanted to (vs. could not) anymore. With the exception of one of those friends, I am the only one who does not allow DD to watch any TV (ok, except for the 5 minutes once a week when I trim nails), who feeds probably at least 75% if not more organic foods, refuses to allow DD to have high fructose corn syrup, and does not allow her to have processed foods, and who uses the most environmentally friendly sposies available (it's mainstream brands for everyone else). I am the only one in the entire group that co-sleeps and does not to CIO. If these things are what you consider "crunchy", then yes, I am definitely in the minority among my friends.
maddycakes is offline  
#9 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 08:14 PM
 
forthebest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,062
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dc are older now but I lived on the road when they were younger and this was so good for meeting and living with like-minded people. We all breastfed and it was nice to do this as a group of women together. At times we would even get our periods round the same time I've noticed this with my two dd's, we seem to be on at the same time regularly now. Women are powerful and very connected to nature imo.I miss all that and the shared feelings on our beliefs on raising dc and other stuff. Other women can be a tremendous support specially when your dc are young. I don't see many of my friends these days as I moved a distance away and I love meeting up cos its like hey I'm 'normal' again and can converse lol. I'm pretty anti-social. a single mom and I live out of the way for my sanity. It took me a while to realise that my 'anti-socialness' had a lot to do with seemingly having little in common with many of the women in my area who seem only concerned with the size of their house, car, bank-balance.Its very good to have like-minded friends, it fosters inclusion, sharing of ideas, feelings, you give and receive feedback and just general support. I have friends who are quite mainstream too but not really if you know what I mean but where dc are concerned they seem very mainstream and quite controlling at times. I know who I feel more comfortable with but I'm trying to be less judgemental. I hope Luna you find someone like-minded to hang with as its utterly invaluable with younger dc to get support, theres a lot of young women totally isolated with their dc who would gain so much from meeting up however that comes about. As for being wierd cos you bf, cloth-diaper,dont vax etc well your a girl after my own heart and there are 'others' out there, yep we're really 'aliens'.
forthebest is offline  
#10 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 08:22 PM
 
mistymama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,824
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Nope, not a single one.

I find it matters less and less as ds gets older. Besides eating pretty healthy, I guess we don't even appear that crunchy anymore.

Candacepeace.gif, Married to dh   guitar.gif, Mom to ds (8) biggrinbounce.gif , Gavin candle.gif (9/30/10 - 12/19/10) and cautiously expecting our rainbow1284.gif 4-29-12

mistymama is offline  
#11 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 08:28 PM
 
east carolina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Mitteleuropa
Posts: 476
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
A good mix. Plus, not all of our close friends have children, so who knows where they would fall on the crunchy-mainstream spectrum. I have to say, though, that I don't always discuss child-rearing practices, not everything comes up in conversation. Most of our close friends we knew before having children. But most of the families we know are very nice and treat their children with respect. I have never lost a friendship over parenting differences.
east carolina is offline  
#12 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 08:30 PM
 
RomanCarmelMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Alabama, USA
Posts: 184
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by BarnMomma View Post
I feel honestly like I'm rejected by both groups so to speak.

We are not the most mainstream folks...we only eat local/organic food, use natural healing methods, grow our own food, we're outdoorsy, and enjoy all 4 seasons to the max. I cook everything from scratch. We drink raw milk. As for parenting we're pretty AP... co sleep, don't vax, no drugs, BF still at 19 mo with no plans to stop, no live TV for ds, natural toys, gentle discipline, and I'm considering home schooling. We have a non-chlorine pool. We don't use lawn treatments. I believe most everything can be fixed with apple cider vinegar and coconut oil.

But I use disposable diapers (7th gen), I drive a range rover (mainly becasue it can haul a horse trailer) and frankly I love my car, I like fashion, we love wine, we love gambling, horses, and I visit starbucks at least once a day for my espresso fix. And we're republicans.

We ride horses and have been dragging DS to the barn since he was 3 months old which you don't often see. We have a horse, cats, doves, quails, and a rescued legless snapping turtle that has taken over our basement.

Oh, and hubby and I have a 23 year age difference.

So finding like minded folks is next to impossible. The mainsteams reject us and think we're crazy and we're just not crunchy enough for the crunchies.
You and I are a lot alike. We used to cloth diaper but now use 7th Gen. We garden as much as we can on our small surburban lot. We eat organic/local when it's available, still breastfeeding at 28 months, cosleep, use gentle discipline, encourage natural toys, are considering homeschooling, use vinegar, etc. We want land, but are Dave Ramseying our way to it. We enjoy beer, wine, coffee, drive regular vehicles, are Libertarian/Republicans, strict Roman Catholics, and make liberal use of our Netflix account and computers. Both of our parents think we're weirdos, and most of our friends are mainstream. I am fortunate that there is a growing presence of crunchy conservatives in my area, and even some new mothers at our parish that are on the crunchy spectrum. I felt rejected and alone until this past year.

Wife to DH and Mommy to DS(2 yrs) : : : :
RomanCarmelMom is offline  
#13 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 08:32 PM
 
Storm Bride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 25,597
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Except for bff (my "best" friend from 6th grade, and still the closest friend I have, other than dh), I don't really have any friends right now. I have some local MDC moms that I'm reasonably friendly with, in that I get along with them, but we're not really friends. There's only one I'd even feel comfortable calling up for a playdate.

However, that has more to do with my social issues than anything else. I should probably make more effort with at least one of those moms, because my kids really like hers - a lot. I will say that the local tribe rallied around me in an amazing way when I lost Aaron, and I'll never forget it.

My bff is way more liberal than I am in many ways...but she's not particularly crunchy. For example, she's way more likely to drive than I am, way, way more consumerist than I am (she's always done a lot of "shopping therapy"), interested in fashion, which I've never been. We're just very different.

Other friends over the years...mostly a mix, like me. I use Kushies cloth diapers, which is pretty mainstream, but at the same time, not mainstream (ie. Kushies is a mainstream brand, but cloth diapering still isn't the norm)...and I got my first set, way back in '93, from a friend who's never had kids. She's always been kind of mainstream, but kind of not. Another old friend told me, when I lost Aaron, that there's nothing wrong with homebirth, which kind of surprised me, but not totally. (The two I just mentioned are high school friends that I don't see much, anymore - but they're each other's bff.) I have another old friend who isn't really crunchy, as such, but is far from mainstream (he's an ex-hippie, former underground comic artist, ex-acidhead, and just kind of...different).

DH is pretty mainstream in many ways, but totally onboard with not wasting resources and money, so he goes along with some things. He doesn't worry about the environmental impact of disposables, but hates spending the money, so he's onboard with cloth, yk? He doesn't have anything against processed food from a health/environmental standpoint...but thinks homemade is cheaper and better.

Basically...I don't have many (any?) friends, and I have no idea if I'd call them crunchy or not. Most of them are not mainstream.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

Storm Bride is offline  
#14 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 08:52 PM
 
fruitfulmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Between the Rockies and a Flat Place
Posts: 4,198
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 21 Post(s)
Pretty much yes. Well... dh is my best friend and I think he is more crunchy than me or at least he is always trying to make converts. Most of my friends are online anyway as we live in a tiny town and with 5 kids whose got time to drive an hour for play dates?

I think many of the people we are acquainted with irl are all somewhat crunchy, if not a full bowl of granola. Our neighbor is a sort-of libertarian hippy-type whose kids are unschooled. My niece homebirthed and bf'ed for close to 2 years. There are other homebirthers in our church and a midwife in-training who helped out at my last one.
fruitfulmomma is online now  
#15 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 08:52 PM
 
katiesk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,932
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i kind of hate labels. i do enjoy having friends with similar interests, but also hearing things from those with different perspectives.

Katie
katiesk is offline  
#16 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 09:02 PM
 
KristyDi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: The 'burbs of Atlanta
Posts: 2,681
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I live somewhere in the middle.

I'm a conservative Christian. I lean Libertarian. We don't eat organic all that much, though I'm moving in that direction.

I breastfeed (not planning on stopping any time soon and dd is 11 months), co-sleep, cloth diaper, delay vax.

I do random crunchy things like use cloth grocery bags, but most of my crunchy cred comes from how I parent.

The up shot of all this is that I can get along with pretty much anyone if I choose which conversations to engage in.

My close friends mostly live in the middle with me.

Kristy, wife to Josh proud mama to Katie: since 3/08 and Emma since 8/12.

KristyDi is offline  
#17 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 09:08 PM
 
kirstenb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: San Diego County
Posts: 5,243
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Most of my friends don't have kids. The few good friends that do have kids are crunchy in some ways but not in others, which is a lot like me. I'm excited for my best friend to have kids because she is already asking me about CDs and plans to breastfeed. Almost all of my friends I have had since before I had DS.

Kirsten, mama to Monkey since May 2007 and Bean born 11/7/09
kirstenb is offline  
#18 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 09:14 PM
 
justice'smom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 565
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
After reading this I'm not as crunchy as I thought I was. I am also more crunchy in the way I eat and parent. Anyway, yes I do wish I had more friends like me. It is nice to have friends with different opinions, but my only crunchy friends are always too busy to talk or get together. The only friends that I do get together with think I'm crazy. I'm pregnant and planning to homebirh again and one of my friends tells me how worried she is about me, everytime she can. My husband and I have honestly considered moving to Colorado because our understaning is there are more crunchies there. My husband has visited and loves it. However, I have lived in Tn all my life and I'm not sure I could deal with the cold weather. Don't get me wrong it gets cold here too, but I think it's much colder there. :
justice'smom is offline  
#19 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 09:38 PM
 
Emmy'sMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: In the mountains
Posts: 20
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
justice'smom--

I would agree, it is definately crunchy here in Colorado! Of the four families in my neighborhood with young kids, three of us cloth diaper, bf, eat organic, co-sleep, and delay or don't vax. There is a definitely a mix but I meet a lot of natural parenting people out here. I would recommend living here to anyone. We actually live in one of the coldest parts of the state (western slope at 8,000 feet) and it is not so bad. The sun is often out and my dd and I spend a decent portion of each day outside.
Emmy'sMom is offline  
#20 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 09:50 PM
 
sahmama_12's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 240
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by BarnMomma View Post
I feel honestly like I'm rejected by both groups so to speak.

We are not the most mainstream folks...we only eat local/organic food, use natural healing methods, grow our own food, we're outdoorsy, and enjoy all 4 seasons to the max. I cook everything from scratch. We drink raw milk. As for parenting we're pretty AP... co sleep, don't vax, no drugs, BF still at 19 mo with no plans to stop, no live TV for ds, natural toys, gentle discipline, and I'm considering home schooling. We have a non-chlorine pool. We don't use lawn treatments. I believe most everything can be fixed with apple cider vinegar and coconut oil.

But I use disposable diapers (7th gen), I drive a range rover (mainly becasue it can haul a horse trailer) and frankly I love my car, I like fashion, we love wine, we love gambling, horses, and I visit starbucks at least once a day for my espresso fix. And we're republicans.

We ride horses and have been dragging DS to the barn since he was 3 months old which you don't often see. We have a horse, cats, doves, quails, and a rescued legless snapping turtle that has taken over our basement.

Oh, and hubby and I have a 23 year age difference.

So finding like minded folks is next to impossible. The mainsteams reject us and think we're crazy and we're just not crunchy enough for the crunchies.
I think you sound cool. I like eclectic mixed up types.

I don't have any crunchy friends and I don't want to say that I can't get along with mainstream types but I find because my kids are so young and always with me (no local family and DH out of town Mon to Fri, I don't leave my kids with just anyone) so the talk always turns to parenting and I really can't contribute. I'm the only cd-er, long term bfer, APer etc. so all my comments either shut down the conversation or result in the "Really? Your ideas are interesting." and then the conversation shuts down.

We are kind of eclectic when it comes right down to it too tho. We're liberal minded, we vote New Democrat, we are Catholic and attend church regularly. We grow our own food and plan to add livestock when we get our own place (currently renting), we want to live in a shack in the middle of the bush, with solar/wind/geo thermal/water power. We cloth diaper, part-time EC, unschool (yes my kids are young but I believe unschooling is life long), don't vax, don't circ, don't believe in punishments, eat organic (when we can afford it northern ontario $$$$), eat locally sourced, make our own food from scratch, avoid HFCS, avoid soy, and plan to allow this latest and all future nurslings decide when to wean. So we're kinda weird and where we live pretty much guaranteed to offend absolutely everyone with some portion of our lifestyle. So I'm kinda lonely thank God for you MDC mamas your my lifeline.

Austin June 2006; Xander March 2008; Shay Nov 2009; 5 babies gone to heaven.
sahmama_12 is offline  
#21 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 09:53 PM
 
Amys1st's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 8,322
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am one of those people who like meeting all sorts of people. So yes, I have the friends who are similar to me- crunchy, but then again I have some honest to god mainstream all the way. I have always been in the middle politically with a lean to the left but I vote both parties so I can fit into most of those conversations. IRL, I am very crunchy and here I feel mainstream sometimes!

My dentist has made a comment to us that we send the most diverse patients to him. We sent another MDC mama and her family to them who homebirths, bfs longer than me etc and we have also sent extremely mainstream people to him so for him, its fun. I guess because of my NFL and AP ideals, I have a lot of crunchy friends. Since my house can host a larger playdate, it looks like a nurse in at my house sometimes. When you mix both groups, its interesting. I have had maybe one incident w/ a few mamas clashing but personally it had nothing to do with being mainstream over crunchy- but my SIL who has clashed w plenty of people.
But we are also Catholic in a neighborhood full of Catholics so we again have some conservative minded friends. Our kids are all the same age, in school together etc so it works out fine. I guess I focus on all the goods we all have in common instead of - I cannot be her friend because she gives her baby formula or uses the stroller for everything.

Another thing- I am very frugal minded. I live in an area again that has some high end real estate and not so. So there is a diverse economic sense. Some of the families who are more well off are also older than us and their families are older. All have my neighborhood babysitters and these neighbors are also the kind of "big sister and brother' in this parenting thing since they have BTDT. One family we have really connected with hugged us on New years and said how they reminded us of them 10 years ago. DH and I LOL because DH always says how much they are like us!

I have noticed when I have really tried to get the crunchy friends all lined up to get chummy with, I get disappointed because they are not 100% in line with what I am or they find out I dont agree w something. I would rather just be friends w anyone who I naturally just click with. If that means we can swap diapers and nurse the afternoon away great- but there are also those friends where the couple together can get dinner and our kids can all play while we have our fun. Make sense?

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
Amys1st is offline  
#22 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 10:30 PM
 
newbymom05's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,589
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a mix but generally prefer people on the crunchy end of the spectrum, just b/c I hate that look you get when you forget and mention not vaxing or cosleeping or what-not. IME once I get to know someone it's not a big deal. Well, I guess not always, b/c if I knew someone was CIO'ing an infant or something I pro'lly wouldn't want to hang out w/ them and I guess that kind of thinking goes both ways.

But I should say that I'm def not half as crunchy as a lot of mamas on these boards. We just do what feels right and works for our family.

I would rather just be friends w anyone who I naturally just click with.
Had to come back to eta that from Amy1st--I should have just quoted that and saved us all some time, lol.
newbymom05 is offline  
#23 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 10:32 PM
 
Mountaingirl79's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Asheville NC
Posts: 1,226
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yup, Our friends are crunchy. Not all of them are parents yet though, and some have adult children.

Mom to three boys 7/7/00 fencing.gif 11/20/02 and 10/29/2011 luxlove.gif

 

Writing at: http://paisleymama.blogspot.com/ and other places! 

 

 
 
 

Mountaingirl79 is offline  
#24 of 44 Old 02-11-2009, 10:35 PM
 
Mountaingirl79's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Asheville NC
Posts: 1,226
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Emmysmom, that's how I feel about Asheville. I bet Colorado is great!!!

Mom to three boys 7/7/00 fencing.gif 11/20/02 and 10/29/2011 luxlove.gif

 

Writing at: http://paisleymama.blogspot.com/ and other places! 

 

 
 
 

Mountaingirl79 is offline  
#25 of 44 Old 02-12-2009, 01:20 AM
 
funkymamajoy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Southern California
Posts: 728
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Some are crunchy, some aren't or in different ways from me. As long as I enjoy their company and I feel respected, its okay if we don't have a long checklist of things in common.

Joy wife to DH, mom to DS1 (4/2005): DD (5/2007) : : DS2 (1/2009 :
I do what works and when it stops working, then I do something else.
funkymamajoy is offline  
#26 of 44 Old 02-12-2009, 01:36 AM
 
angelandmisha's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 270
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
BarnMomma, I wish you lived by me! We're republican, live in an affluent neighborhood, have 16 years age difference, I adore my Starbucks(know where all the drive-thru's are!), love TiVo, love fashion, from the outside we seem very mainstream I'm sure. But, I'm working on EC, dh and I are very uncomfortable with vax and have delayed most so far and may not resume, we cosleep, ds is almost 18 months and still very interested in bf, we believe strongly in GD, I won't be using timeouts or punishments, and I'm very interested in unschooling. I'm also 40 years old. So, there aren't too many people I've met who seem like-minded. I really don't have any friends right now- my bf from high school but she's in another town and her kids are 15 and 9 and her parenting style is very mainstream- so I try not to talk much about parenting with her.

I'm shy (until I know you) and a bit of a homebody and my neighborhood actually has a ton of kids and young families and everybody is nice, it's just that for various reasons(mostly my and my husband's age) I feel out of place with most people. There are several women on my street I would like to get to know better and I'm going to be working on that soon...
angelandmisha is offline  
#27 of 44 Old 02-12-2009, 11:54 AM
 
Amys1st's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 8,322
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelandmisha View Post
I really don't have any friends right now- my bf from high school but she's in another town and her kids are 15 and 9 and her parenting style is very mainstream- so I try not to talk much about parenting with her.
I am wondering if its just she is in a different parenting stage than you are. I do know as the kids get older, you need to change the way you parent, esp if there is more than one you might need to parent one child one way and the other another way. If more, sometimes you might have to parent that child different as well.

I have noticed with hanging w parents who have tots or smaller, they are in a different place than with someone who has school aged children as well or just older children. Its really hard to understand until you get there.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
Amys1st is offline  
#28 of 44 Old 02-12-2009, 12:19 PM
 
fruitfulmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Between the Rockies and a Flat Place
Posts: 4,198
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 21 Post(s)
"My husband and I have honestly considered moving to Colorado because our understanding is there are more crunchies there. My husband has visited and loves it."

Boulder or Fort Collins are good areas for crunch factor. We love Fort Collins and spend most of our time away from home over there.

"However, I have lived in Tn all my life and I'm not sure I could deal with the cold weather. Don't get me wrong it gets cold here too, but I think it's much colder there."

Not really. It kind of depends on where you live I guess. My kids were outside barefoot yesterday.
fruitfulmomma is online now  
#29 of 44 Old 02-12-2009, 12:20 PM
 
Theoretica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Inside my head (it's quiet here!)
Posts: 3,663
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by luna-belle View Post
yes, i too live in a small small city and realize that is part of the problem. I know there are other crunchies out there but it's hard to find them and then when i do, it's not like i can say, "will you be my friend?" lol
this!!!

GOOD moms let their kids lick the beaters. GREAT moms turn off the mixer first!
Humanist Woman Wife , & Friend Plus Mama to 6 (3 mos, 2, 9, 13, 17, 20)
Theoretica is offline  
#30 of 44 Old 02-12-2009, 12:34 PM
 
fairymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,110
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had one once- she's the ont who introduced me to Mothering! I no longer talk to her (lost contact when she moved) but love her to death still and wish I had her in my life.

Now I have one who is roughly about the same as me- she makes her own oils natural healing her girls are older but bf till they weaned thierselves.

My other friends are way more mainstream but upscale crunchy (do the things that are "in"- bf till a year, eat organic, etc) but it ends there.

Sometimes I don't feel a crunchy as others here.We eat organic very rarely- its too expensive for our family.We have a budget of $600/mnth for food for 7 people but I do try to feed us healthy.I bf all my dc but none past 8 mnths.I cd and cosleep is natural for me until about a year and a half- then I seem to sleep worse and so does babe.But all my dc are welcome to come in our bed if they need to in the night- I just like for them to start in their own beds so I can get at least a 4 hours of restful sleep.

I vax- I believe in not vax or waiting till the kids are older but don't have the guts not to.I babywear but I also will put babe in a seat/swing so I can get dishes washed or other chores done.I believe in gentle parenting and no spanking but have raised my voice in anger.

I want to live off the grid-grow my own food, waste less,buy less, live simpiler. And I try to do my best every day that's all I can do.Yes I wish I had more crunchier friends because then I would have more support around me and a better example of how to live it.

Note: My mom and stepdad are so cruchy and that's how I grew up.(but they did vax- my moms a rn)They are vegitarians (sp?), stepdad has doen yoga since I remember, mom does energy healing and cleansing, Supports bfing, cding, and they eat and buy organic. What can I say i grew up in a hippie home but main stream snuck in!
fairymom is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off