I know there may be nothing wrong with this. But it's been bothering me all day. Why would a grown man pull a little girl out of a classroom? There are so many cases of abuse in the news, I'm a little paranoid.
Anyway, I know I need to find out more about the situation in order to feel comfortable leaving DS there, but I'm not sure who to talk to: the teacher? The man who took her out of the room? Someone else? And what to say exactly? I don't want to make a big deal out of nothing or seem like a paranoid mom. Still, it has been bugging me.
"I noticed yesterday that the director came and took so-and-so out for a few minutes. I didn't think the children ever left the classroom. Why would he take just one child out? It makes me a little uncomfortable."
Even if it's completely innocuous (maybe she has meds she needed to take, maybe something happened earlier that you didn't see, maybe she gets therapy at school and the therapist was there...), it should make the teacher realize that the impression is bad.
That being said, there could be any number of valid reasons for a preschool director to pull a child from class. It could have been anything from a therapy session to a parent dropping by (but not wanting to disturb the class). As the director, I would assume that the man has many responsibilities to his students, regardless of their gender.
If a male high school principal pulled a young lady from class, you probably wouldn't think much of it. This is probably not much different.
Definatly ask the teacher.
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I agree - it's probably a completely legit reason and all is well in the world, but for it to have stood out to you, that means you need to ask the teacher what thats about
Actually that would raise a red flag to me--I'm a high school principal and I never pull students out of class.
Anyhow, as PP have said, it was probably nothing. At all. I used to pulled out like that too, and it was always something stupid like, 'your mom called for this' or 'its time for this medicine' (asthma and lots of bladder infections as a child, not to mention allergies). But, also like PP have said, if it really stuck out to you and bothered you, definitely ask the teacher. I like what the first response said. That's a great way to handle the situation. Or even something like "does the director always pull them out to give them medication or something? because I don't want my son singled out and made to feel embarrassed".
Hope it all works out for you!
I don't think it hurts to ask, though.
It seems normal to me, but then I spent my school career being pulled out of class. I was a bit of a problem child, so I was removed for disciplinary action often (even in preschool), tutoring for my math disability, gifted classes, and for a while had to take my ADD medication at school...
I don't think it hurts to ask, though.
I'd suspect that if the reason for the pull-out was disciplinary or medical, they're going to refuse to answer the question anyhow.
Or even something like "does the director always pull them out to give them medication or something? because I don't want my son singled out and made to feel embarrassed".
Ask the teacher for clarification, and ask about who administers the medication to the students.
DS is going to a pre-school a few hours a week. I accompanied him today and during the class, the school director (large man) came to the door of the classroom and asked one of the little girls to come out with him for a few minutes. The teacher saw him and didn't say anything.
Anyway, there are many reasons why the director would need to see a student. But I think it's reasonable to ask about it if it's a concern.
If the teacher didn't even didn't even blink at it, I personally wouldn't be too concerned. Also, like a previous poster said... for privacy reasons they probably won't be able to answer you.
It sounds like it's bugging you so I would ask. I would just say what you said. "I know I'm probably making a big deal out of nothing and seem like a paranoid mom to you but something has been bothering me." Say how you saw the director pull the child out and you were wondering what the reason was for. I would also mention that you understand if the teacher can't tell you the exact reason but perhaps she could give you several examples of situations where the director would pull out YOUR child (to make it clear that you aren't just "nosy" about this girl). Early parent pick up, medicine, therapy, etc.
Yes, there was a bad vibe. Thinking back on it, there was a hesitation on the part of both the little girl and the teacher. And I didn't see her come back. Honestly, at the time I didn't pay a lot of attention. I just couldn't stop thinking about it throughout the day and wondered how others might handle it if they were concerned as well.
When I was in highschool our principal used to walk behind some girls in the hallway so closely it made them uncomfortable, they could feel his breath on them. He had at times called me down to his office for "cutting class" and once it was for being in the nurses office and the nurse came and told him "I told you she was with me" and another time the teacher themselves said "I never reported her for cutting class"
I remember one of the times he called me down and he was staring at my chest and I told him "you can look at ME when you talk to me, stop talking to my boobs"... I got in school detention for saying that.
so maybe you have that gut feeling for a reason... or maybe its nothing, but its not like you are crazy for having concern. I wish more parents did.
I would stay away from asking about the little girl. The school is bound by the privacy laws and are probably not at liberty to discuss another child with you. Heck, at my dd's elementary school, they will not even send out a list that includes the children's last name.
If it bothers you, by all means ask but about the policy not the child.
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I get the feeling that if it had been a female principal, this wouldn't have been an issue. If the OP had said she had seen kids taken from class before, but this specific time gave her red flags - well, that I'd understand.
The fact that she felt the kid hesitated - again could be so many things. Maybe she was involved in something she enjoyed. Maybe she didn't want to miss something about to come up. Maybe she doesn't like taking her medication. Maybe she wrote her name on the snack table and knows she might be getting in trouble. Maybe her art submission won and the paper sent a reporter to take a photo of her for the local paper.
It feels like it isn't this specific incident that is bothering the OP, more of a nervousness about entrusting her child to other adults. If a principal was going to abuse a preschool kid, don't you think that person would do something a bit more subtle than pulling her out of class in front of a teacher, a parent volunteer, and 24 other kids?
I work at a small, private elementary. Our principal - who just happens to be a large man - pulls kids out, individually or in small groups, for a variety of reasons. It is usually to discuss something that would be embarrassing to the kid to discuss in front of the class. He is very respectful about their privacy. We also have had kids on a variety of medications that must be administered at school. I pull one little girl out many times a day to get a blood sugar reading on her as she is diabetic.
In the OP's situation, I would do nothing.
Are you second-guessing your decision to send DS to preschool in general? It seems- tbh- such a weird thing to worry about, I'm wondering how much of this is about the director and how much of this is about DS growing up.
It doesn't seem you are comfortable with a male director/employee. You can pretend to be PC, but your feelings are what they are. You yourself said that you feel "paranoid" because of the news.
Most preschool directors are female, so you should have other options.
What you described would not bother me. But then again, I have been fortunate to work with several male preschool and daycare teachers in my life, who really changed my mind about such things. I also think that folks who can't accept a male provider should just cut their losses and not put their child in a school where they might receive care from one. Nobody likes to be un-PC, but it's really hard on a good provider when the parent is constantly looking at them with suspicion and fear (people aren't as good at hiding it as they think they are), it often affects the kids, and it adds unncessary stress and worry to the parent's life.
So by all means ask about the policy, but truly look inward to see if you could be comfortable with a male director who does hands on work with the kids period. Some people will not be, and if you are one of them, you know that you can't put your child in that school.
If the director was a woman would it bother you in the same way?
OP said she had some weird feelings and is concerned for HER son so I think she should check them out. I don't think people need to start saying she has an anti-man bias or has separation issues about sending her child to preschool. This is most likely something that can be cleared up with a 5 min conversation with the preschool teacher or director.