Is it illegal or dangerous to leave a kid in the car for 5 minutes? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 102 Old 03-12-2009, 12:03 PM
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I have a 6 year old with special needs and an active 2 year old. There are times (sometimes multiple times a week) when my DS1 is having a meltdown and I need to get both kids in the van. I don't think it's safe to try to carry a screaming, kicking, hitting, 4ft, 55lb 6 year old and a squirming, trying-to-escape 30+lb 2 year old through a parking lot and then struggle to get them both safely in their seats without letting either escape. Since I'm rarely in a position where I can leave the 2 year old while I carry out the 6 year old, I carry the 2 year old out first. I lock him in his carseat (which he can't escape from), lock the doors, and then go back for the 6 year old. If I tried locking the 2 year old in his seat, and then drove the van to the building, I'd have my 6 year old running out into the street, worried that I was leaving him (he's impulsive, and doesn't listen or follow directions). I rarely feel that driving up to the curb and leaving the vehicle is safe anyway because that's not a normal parking space, and thus puts us at higher risk of an accident. And some places we go to don't have the space for it. I'm not going to stop taking my chidren places. Especially since some of those places are where my DS1 gets therapies. And I'm not going to try to find and then afford childcare where my kids would be accepted and treated well. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find caregivers for SN kids? My family can't even handle DS1 without double-teaming! I already avoid going on many errands until the kids are with their father. But, we're not going to lock ourselves in the house just to avoid the possible meltdown and the need to leave the 2 year old in the van to get the 6 year old safely. That would be ridiculous.
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#92 of 102 Old 03-12-2009, 12:23 PM
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I am surprised that with all this debate, no one has offered the OP an alternative solution:

Identify a friendly mom in the parking lot who is loading/unloading her kids. Ask her to keep an eye on your kid for a minute while you run inside to get your other child. I do this for other moms all the time when I pick up ds from school - rather than having her lug out the infant seat, ds and I will wait for a minute by her car while she picks up the other kid(s) from school.

Sometimes we forget that it's okay to ask for help. It's also okay to offer it.
Also, these aren't strangers. These are fellow parents in your child's school, you probably know them (even if not by name). You CAN ask for a favor. You can swap favors, take turns, etc.
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#93 of 102 Old 03-12-2009, 12:51 PM
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Yes i would be concerned because a 2 year old can be very capable of getting out of their carseat by I know from experience. I was in the car waiting on my DH in a store and DS was throwing a fit and he got very quite when i turned around he was standing up in his carseat that btw was securley tightened. He also knows how to pull it into gear from us letting him play in the truck while we was cleaning it at home in the yard. (it was not running but if it was he would have easily put it into gear!!!) Thats what i would worry about.

Kim: Wife To Colby. Mommy To DS1 Christopher and DS2 Bradly. :
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#94 of 102 Old 03-12-2009, 02:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Super Glue Mommy View Post
but the reality is, child abduction is still a threat, even if its a very very small one. its still possible. and its one of the things that is much less possible if child is in your sight then if child is not in your sight. so that's how I assess risk. while something may not be VERY dangerous, it can still be MORE dangerous (even if only a little) then my other options.
But sometimes the risk involved in the more dangerous option is so low that it should be considered perfectly okay for someone to choose that option. Giving kids baths, for instance, is probably more dangerous than taking them into the shower with an adult. It's always possible for the child to drown, even if you're sitting right there. (What if you suddenly have a heart attack while your kid is in the water?) But I don't think anyone here would try to convince another mother she should stop putting her kids in the bathtub and use a safer option. Using the bathtub might not be the safest possible thing, but it's safe enough. I think under most circumstances it's also safe enough to leave a kid in a locked car for a few minutes.
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#95 of 102 Old 03-12-2009, 02:19 PM
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I have left DD in the car for a 2 minute span. never at a public place, only outside my home to run in and get something. Once she was sleeping in her carseat and I left her in and rolled down the windows (it was cool out). I literally sat at the door in my moms salon (it's in her home) and opened the window in the house to hear if she fussed. She was out there for about 45 minutes, I checked on her every 5-10 minutes by going outside to see if she was awake.

I have never done this in the summer, I have always locked the car, and never more than 2 minutes.
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#96 of 102 Old 03-12-2009, 02:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Lisa1970 View Post
It is dangerous.

There was just an article today about a child getting out of the carseat and leaving the car and getting run over, while the mother just ran back in to the house to grab something. In other cases, car jacking. In other cases, child gets out of car and disappears..or is kidnapped from car. Or he gets out of his seat and manages to put the car in motion.

In most states, it is illegal. And if other parents see it, they will likely think negative things.

Um did she lock the door of the car? I would lock it and not run leave it running and e brake it...
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#97 of 102 Old 03-12-2009, 02:29 PM
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It's illegal in most places that I'm aware of.
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#98 of 102 Old 03-12-2009, 02:31 PM
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Originally Posted by ginadc View Post
Wow. That's respectful. So at least half a dozen of us on this thread are MORONS, then.

Might I suggest that you could make your point less rudely?

I am sorry,That you feel offended that was not my intention. Please forgive my BAD Choice of words.

Please don't ever leave your child unattended any where not even for a second.

Again i am sorry if anyone was offended. By my poor choice of words
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#99 of 102 Old 03-12-2009, 02:53 PM
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I havent read all the replies but I dont do it. First of all, I live in a HOT climate. And second, I live in a high-crime city. Just yesterday a car was stolen with 3 kids in it. Third, if nothing else someone could call the cops thinking you forgot your child. So no. And I hate dragging them into every little stop just as much as the next person. But I still dont do it.
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#100 of 102 Old 03-12-2009, 03:14 PM
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From the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children,

Mom to, Cassi,, 25 yo daughter, 4 yo twins, Carson & Camryn 3 yo Caitlyn and my wonderful 14 yo neice, Carlie
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#101 of 102 Old 05-16-2012, 01:53 PM
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If you're responding for Washington obviously don't live here because they don't sell liquor in grocery stores!

Maybe you should know what you're talking about before you start spouting out what you think is fact.

...if that were the case, then a single mother would have to find a sitter for each time she went to the grocery store.

get your facts straight.

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#102 of 102 Old 05-16-2012, 04:05 PM
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This is a very old thread...

Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
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