Other parents disapproving of proper terms? - Page 8 - Mothering Forums

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#211 of 239 Old 03-31-2009, 08:19 PM
 
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Personally I prefer to use the term vagina because it seems more specific to the parts between your legs.

Do people who use the term vulva realise that it encompasses the mons pubis as well. So it covers basically anywhere that hair grows.

To me teaching a girl to say vulva could cause confusion if (god forbid!) there was a question of inappropriate touching. A girl saying that someone 'touched her vulva' could mean that some boy tried to punch her in the stomach and hit a little low. If the girl however said 'touched my vagina' then you're aware the touching is going on between the legs.

I don't know. Vulva may mean the labia majora, labia minora, clitoris, urethra, vagina etc etc but honestly it sounds a little too vague for me. It's like saying I've hurt my limb. Doesn't really narrow down where was hurt, could be arm or leg, thigh or calf.

And yes I do understand that the vagina is only the internal part, but if you actually 'feel around' down there the vaginal opening does 'take up most of the space'. Seems to me a child would be better learning vagina and then expanding on everything when they understand anatomy more than worrying about it when they're 2yo.

ETA: Maybe we'd be better off teaching kids about vaginal openings rather than vaginas?

It's complicated.
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#212 of 239 Old 03-31-2009, 10:05 PM
 
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Do people who use the term vulva realize that it encompasses the mons pubis as well.
yes.

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So it covers basically anywhere that hair grows.
Only the mons pubis would have hair growing on it, eventually, and the labia, not the whole vulva. Besides that, what does hair have to do with it?

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It's like saying I've hurt my limb. Doesn't really narrow down where was hurt, could be arm or leg, thigh or calf.
No, it's not the same, because most females have four limbs and only one vulva.

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#213 of 239 Old 03-31-2009, 10:18 PM
 
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yes.



Only the mons pubis would have hair growing on it, eventually, and the labia, not the whole vulva. Besides that, what does hair have to do with it?



No, it's not the same, because most females have four limbs and only one vulva.
The hair comment was suppose to give a visual illustration as to what a large area the word vulva actually covers.

It's complicated.
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#214 of 239 Old 03-31-2009, 11:48 PM
 
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To me teaching a girl to say vulva could cause confusion if (god forbid!) there was a question of inappropriate touching. A girl saying that someone 'touched her vulva' could mean that some boy tried to punch her in the stomach and hit a little low. If the girl however said 'touched my vagina' then you're aware the touching is going on between the legs.
I'm not really grasping the idea of teaching an incorrect term in order to avoid confusion. If a child says someone 'touched her vulva,' that should be looked into (if only to teach that other child not to try and punch other kids in the stomach). I think that a much more problematic scenario would be a defense attorney showing that a child who is saying "he touched my vagina" is then indicating an external area on an anatomically correct doll. Discrediting witnesses can certainly help a defense case.

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I don't know. Vulva may mean the labia majora, labia minora, clitoris, urethra, vagina etc etc but honestly it sounds a little too vague for me. It's like saying I've hurt my limb. Doesn't really narrow down where was hurt, could be arm or leg, thigh or calf.
So, instead, you would prefer "I hurt my ankle," when in fact it was the knee? More precise, yes, but precision doesn't mean much without accuracy.

Besides, I think "vulva" is more similar to "leg" than "limb," while "vagina" would be similar to "ankle."

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And yes I do understand that the vagina is only the internal part, but if you actually 'feel around' down there the vaginal opening does 'take up most of the space'.
Obviously everyone's body is different, but I wouldn't say that's true for me. Unless you mean while a baby's crowning.

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#215 of 239 Old 04-01-2009, 12:06 AM
 
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I didn't know it what female parts were called until 5th grade when one of my friends made a comment about a vagina and she had to explain it to me. I thought she was pulling my leg! I didn't even think it had a name until then!

I have a question though. What is the proper term for belly? It's not stomach, b/c a stomach is an internal organ, right?

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#216 of 239 Old 04-01-2009, 12:43 AM
 
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I didn't know it what female parts were called until 5th grade when one of my friends made a comment about a vagina and she had to explain it to me. I thought she was pulling my leg! I didn't even think it had a name until then!

I have a question though. What is the proper term for belly? It's not stomach, b/c a stomach is an internal organ, right?
Proper term for belly is "abdomen". Stomach is an internal organ.

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#217 of 239 Old 04-01-2009, 12:47 AM
 
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I'm not really grasping the idea of teaching an incorrect term in order to avoid confusion. If a child says someone 'touched her vulva,' that should be looked into (if only to teach that other child not to try and punch other kids in the stomach). I think that a much more problematic scenario would be a defense attorney showing that a child who is saying "he touched my vagina" is then indicating an external area on an anatomically correct doll. Discrediting witnesses can certainly help a defense case.


So, instead, you would prefer "I hurt my ankle," when in fact it was the knee? More precise, yes, but precision doesn't mean much without accuracy.

Besides, I think "vulva" is more similar to "leg" than "limb," while "vagina" would be similar to "ankle."


Obviously everyone's body is different, but I wouldn't say that's true for me. Unless you mean while a baby's crowning.
Unfortunately I haven't had the experience of a baby crowning, but I'm assuming it's safe to say your vagina would at that point take up alot of room!

It's complicated.
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#218 of 239 Old 04-01-2009, 02:17 AM
 
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I saw this "article" today and this thread was the first thing I thought of:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...urce=a-section
That article was truly disgusting and completely offensive. What year is this? :

All the talk about limbs/ankels/knees vs. vagina/vulva?

NONE of the adult woman (all with children) in my life knew what a vulva was. Not a single one of them--my gramma, mom, 4 female co workers and 2 girlfriends. Chances are, most of the population doesn't know what it means. It's safe to say that my daughters teacher or principal or one of my girlfriends will know what "vagina" means if my daughter goes to them with a problem.

Making sure my daughter's voice is heard is much more important than all the correct terminology. I will teach her all the correct parts, sure. But for now, we're sticking with vagina. I will, however, instruct her to refer to the whole area as "vagina" when she's older....to be sure her voice is heard, if she needs to be.
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#219 of 239 Old 04-01-2009, 02:35 AM
 
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The "article" is from The Onion, which is a joke publication (think the Daily Show of newspapers). The posting was to poke fun at people being unable to say the words "vulva", "vagina", "genitals" etc etc etc.

If you understood that and still thought it was offensive, I apologize.

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#220 of 239 Old 04-01-2009, 03:20 AM
 
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#221 of 239 Old 04-01-2009, 07:31 AM
 
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The "article" is from The Onion, which is a joke publication (think the Daily Show of newspapers). The posting was to poke fun at people being unable to say the words "vulva", "vagina", "genitals" etc etc etc.

If you understood that and still thought it was offensive, I apologize.
Oooooooh. Didn't know anything about The Onion.
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#222 of 239 Old 04-01-2009, 04:13 PM
 
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I saw this "article" today and this thread was the first thing I thought of:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news...urce=a-section
I saw this (I'm a "fan" on FB so I get the updates). HILARIOUS!

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#223 of 239 Old 04-01-2009, 07:00 PM
 
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The hair comment was suppose to give a visual illustration as to what a large area the word vulva actually covers.
Yep! All the genitalia. Which is a much harder word to say, imo.

Oh! Just figured out why there isn't really a technical word for the penis and scrotum, they aren't encompassed by other skin like the clitoris, urethra, vagina and labia minora are encompassed by the labia majora and mons pubis.
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#224 of 239 Old 04-01-2009, 07:03 PM
 
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Oh, and Lina's going to be taught about her vagina too, so she will be able to talk about it if anything affects it, but I certainly hope that the only touching it gets until she's an adult is her own washed fingers.
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#225 of 239 Old 04-01-2009, 07:05 PM
 
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Proper term for belly is "abdomen". Stomach is an internal organ.
Speaking of which, does anyone else wince when they hear someone tell a child that the adult has a baby growing in her stomach?

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#226 of 239 Old 04-01-2009, 07:07 PM
 
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Speaking of which, does anyone else wince when they hear someone tell a child that the adult has a baby growing in her stomach?
Not until reading this post.
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#227 of 239 Old 04-01-2009, 07:30 PM
 
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Great thread .

Anyone thought of 'toolbox' for boys and 'fruitbasket' for girls; just brainstorming on genitalianaming

When I translate all the terms offered here to my mothertongue, it gets totally, unbelievably hilarious!:

Me:,loving HB,two active sons of 3 & 5,1 cat, nature lover,,extbf,occ,SAHM, multicultural/lingual family,+/-cl, :become a better parent/person by not expecting to be the perfect parent/person
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#228 of 239 Old 04-01-2009, 09:47 PM
 
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I've heard of "fruitbasket" for male's sex organs (Penis and scrotum)... the only other all encompassing nickname (other than junk) I've hear for men was "The Goat" : :

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#229 of 239 Old 04-02-2009, 01:55 AM
 
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I just came to the end of this thread after working through it for the past three days. I'm a little sad that it's over.
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#230 of 239 Old 04-02-2009, 02:03 AM
 
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I just came to the end of this thread after working through it for the past three days. I'm a little sad that it's over.
Who says it's over? This topic will never end. If this thread dies, another will be built. And if you build it....
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#231 of 239 Old 04-02-2009, 10:25 AM
 
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I do home daycare and one of the mothers ctually informed me she does not allow her children (a toddler boy and 2 girls ages 4 and 8) to say penis and vulva. She informeed me (with a straight face, mind you) That her children were to call the female parts "hoo-hoos" and the male parts "tallywacker".
And as for people who get embarassed by thier children possibly announcing in public "My daddy has a penis!" (etc..) I am PRETTY sure that the general public is already well aware of that fact. So, what's the big deal?
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#232 of 239 Old 04-02-2009, 11:09 AM
 
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She informeed me (with a straight face, mind you) That her children were to call the female parts "hoo-hoos" and the male parts "tallywacker".
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#233 of 239 Old 04-02-2009, 01:59 PM
 
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I do home daycare and one of the mothers ctually informed me she does not allow her children (a toddler boy and 2 girls ages 4 and 8) to say penis and vulva. She informeed me (with a straight face, mind you) That her children were to call the female parts "hoo-hoos" and the male parts "tallywacker".
And as for people who get embarassed by thier children possibly announcing in public "My daddy has a penis!" (etc..) I am PRETTY sure that the general public is already well aware of that fact. So, what's the big deal?
I don't mind that. DS1 did once make a public announcement about how his mommy and daddy made him. I'm well aware that the adults around me knew where babies come from...but I still turned crimson, and I'll freely admit it.

OTOH, I would personally be far less embarrassed by having dd announce proudly that she has a vagina, than by having her publicly state, "I have a hoo-hoo". OMG. That would be embarrassing.

I really don't care if people want to use the cutesy terms, although I don't really understand it, especially when they actually make something up. I just don't get when they don't even want their kids to know the proper terms. It seems so weird to me.


re: the baby in the stomach thing. I'm afraid I do say "the baby in my tummy". I don't even know why. DD knows all about the uterus, the placenta, the umbilical cord, etc. etc. (studied models at my midwife's place when I was pregnant with Aaron, among other sources of info, including lots of conversations), but we still seem to default back to "in my tummy". DS2 doesn't know as much as dd, but he does know the baby isn't really growing in my stomach, yk? I guess it's because it's my tummy that's so huge. I don't think I've ever actually said "in my stomach", though...I use "tummy" and "belly" for the abdomen, not the stomach.

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#234 of 239 Old 04-02-2009, 02:25 PM
 
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I don't think I've ever actually said "in my stomach", though...I use "tummy" and "belly" for the abdomen, not the stomach.
A tummy/belly is not a stomach. It's the abdomen. All your internal organs, including your uterus and the baby inside that, are in your belly.
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#235 of 239 Old 04-02-2009, 02:32 PM
 
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A tummy/belly is not a stomach. It's the abdomen. All your internal organs, including your uterus and the baby inside that, are in your belly.
True. I think a lot of people use belly and tummy for their stomach, too, though. I'm sure ds2 does. However, he is only 3.5, and he still gets a little confused about internal organs vs. the parts he can actually see.

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#236 of 239 Old 04-05-2009, 09:04 PM
 
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#237 of 239 Old 04-05-2009, 09:33 PM
 
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I don't understand why anyone would be offended by the names of body parts - a penis is a body part, an elbow is a body part, a forhead is a body part, etc. They need to get over themselves!
yep!

my then 9yo brother yelled at my then 3yo son because he said "peenie" (he knows penis, he likes peenie and at least thats closer lol). "(MY name) HE SAID THAT P WORD!!" I was like..okay??
"but thats a bad word, Im not allowed to say it. he cant say that!"
and so i said
"its a freakin body part, whats your problem?"
"its a bad word for the body parts!"
so i said" fine, youre not ever allowed to say arm around me or my kids. ever."
he looked at me like i was crazy but then i said "see, stupid not to call a body part a body part, isnt it?"

geez..

and EVERYTHING is a weewee to him. plus guess what urine is called?
i asked him one day how it doesnt freak him out that his stuff is falling off when he goes to the bathroom since its all the same thing, right? and he thought about it and looked horrified

i used to yell at their dad for saying nuts balls in high school. theyre not balls, theyre more oblong than round! and where in the heck did nuts come from?!? it seriously used to drive me crazy . i was like " you have TESTICLES d@mn it!" ( i was a little umm..loud about my thoughts then and he kept going on and on with it laughing at me :rollingeyes

my now 4yo knows how babies come out, and where they come FROM. he was standing next to me when i had my daughter a few weeks ago (no he didnt see anything but her for the people that would have issues with that, i was upright) he said "the babys coming out of your vulva!" when i was busy pushing then called my mom and told her the same thing. ive had many conversations about vulvas before having my nb daughter than i thought having 2 boys lol
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#238 of 239 Old 04-05-2009, 09:35 PM
 
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My foster daughter has a history of horrendous sexual abuse. I attend specialized therapy with her, and was astounded that the therapist uses avoidant terms, from "personal parts" to "girl or boy bits".
see, in group classes for this as a 5 and 6yo is where i learned what the right terms WERE (well except the vulva/vagina thing... we were told vagina.). thats interesting for sure!
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#239 of 239 Old 04-05-2009, 09:49 PM
 
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I don't know what this means, but my family growing up only used proper terms for everything and those words were never considered shameful or inappropriate to use. However, as an adult, in reference to myself, I seriously can't say any of the words. I say my dainties, my lovelies, my hmm hmm, my girlies, my specials, on and on. When my kids have asked what things are called on themselves I answer them correctly and I have no problem saying penis or scrotum. It only seems to be with my own body? I'm really embarrassed to say that once one of my boys pointed to me when I was dressing and asked what "That is" and I responded "Thats mine". That was awful of me. I even use "down there" when talking to my OB/GYN.

My husband thinks maybe it stems from overall body image issues or maybe that the act of sex was so sheltered from me as a child? Maybe because those areas were so private that I feel wrong talking about them? I don't know. My parents were very open with them terms for body parts, but they NEVER told us you did THAT with them, go figure. Even growing up on a ranch I remember watching the bulls "put a calf in the mommies" but it never dawned on me that that would somehow translate to humans

Anyway, I know I am an extreme example, but I just wanted to say proper terms as a child don't always stick with everyone.
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