school strip searches...who else thinks the world has gone mad? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 08:41 AM
 
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Let me just put it this way... I am not one of those sue-happy people, but if anyone, ANYONE tried anything like that to either of my children, they'd better prepare for a lawsuit like they'd never seen before! I'd consider it sexual abuse, reckless endangerment, abuse of power, all that.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#62 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 08:50 AM
 
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This whole story makes me sick. I think the officals who did the strip search should be prosecuted.
Ditto.

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Originally Posted by harleyhalfmoon View Post
Let me just put it this way... I am not one of those sue-happy people, but if anyone, ANYONE tried anything like that to either of my children, they'd better prepare for a lawsuit like they'd never seen before! I'd consider it sexual abuse, reckless endangerment, abuse of power, all that.
Double ditto!

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#63 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 09:38 AM
 
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This whole story makes me sick. I think the officals who did the strip search should be prosecuted.
Or paraded 3/4 naked in front of a group of people they see on a regular basis then forced to show them their genitals.

I really don't care that the girl was an honor student, no child(guilty or innocent) should be forced into such a position & the people who put her there should be punished for it.

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#64 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 12:58 PM
 
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That poor, poor child. God help anyone who would ever do a thing like that to one of my children. Totally, totally appalling and unacceptable.

God help us all.
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#65 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 01:11 PM
 
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After speaking with my husband about this last night...I have become more and more angry about this. What is wrong with us, that this is not cause for immediate prosecution of these administrators.

If I were the school nurse, I would have refused to do that to a young girl.

If I were this girls parents and hadn't been called before they strip searched my DD....I would have killed someone. KILLED someone. I don't know that I would be able to stop myself...

Why have we made this rapid rapid shift to parents not having rights. Forget about the CHILDREN having rights...I know that it's WAAAY too much to ask that they even regard the children as people, to be respected.....but what about the parents rights as PARENTS?

Who in their right mind...STRIP SEARCHES a minor girl, without parental notification??? Who DOES that?? I'm telling you....our schools are junk these days. JUNK I tell you!!

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#66 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 01:17 PM
 
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I have to admit that the thing that bothers me the most is that there was no mention of asking to or trying to contact her parents. The fact that our children have been taught that people "in charge" can do what they want is terrifying. I was planning on homeschooling my kids, but now I will no matter what. I really have no words to adequately express what I am feeling right now. I can say that had that been my daughter, my DH would have shot first and asked questions later. My heart just breaks for this girl and all the others that haven't come forward.
Yes..because when I told DD that she had the right to say no she actually said something like "but I will get in trouble" and I explained to her that THEY are not the boss of her I AM and I would deal with it when I got there...oh would I ever. I really agree on this..the schools act like the parents..it is very twisted. :
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#67 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 01:17 PM
 
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"those that would sacrifice freedom for security deserve neither."
hell yes
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#68 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 01:28 PM
 
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You definitely did the right thing.

Sadly you are also right to have that fear/concern even at an elementary lvl. My friends dd was in K last year. One day her dd comes home from school acting very strange and withdrawn, she finally told her mom what was bothering her. "A lady looked at my private parts today." Needless to say my friend was beyond upset. She called the school and they told her that her dd was itching a lot in class so they had taken her to the nurses office and had a licenced nurse from the health department come in and "examine her" for sexual abuse. But don't worry we didn't find anything." She went off on them then called the health department and talked with them they told her that they were completely within their rights because #1 It is the school's responsibility to investigate all suspicion of child abuse. and #2 Her dd had already been red flagged because she had a past cps investigation.
Her past cps investigation was that when her dd was younger she took her to the ER several times for extreme joint pain/swelling and the cps got involved. After several months of extreme emotional stress they got their dd in with a specialist and it turned out that her dd had/has juvenile rheumatoid arthritis that she is on medication for now. The case was dropped but apparently the public school still considered it enough for her dd to be red flagged for possible abuse?
Sadly that is as far is my friend took it. She considered homeschool for a little while, her dd was a nervous wreck and deeply disturbed/distrustful of adults for a long while after. She has talked at length with her that she NEVER has to do that again, but can a little one like that really say no and be listened to by those kind of people?
No child of any age should be subjected to that. My heart goes out to the girl in the story, it's so sad/anger inducing.
Yes and unfortunately, I had some troubles like this before although not to the extent of your friend's troubles. My dd had been squirming in her seat in first grade, it was a nervous habit and she has sensory issues, I also have them and did it myself in first grade. Her teacher told me about it and i said I would talk to dd which I did. The teacher then runs and reports it to the nurse and I am very surprised because she doesn't tell me this is happening, she tells the nurse..so she stops it...then next year DD has a mean yelling teacher who DD is afraid of and starts doing it again..I tried to explain nicely in a non-accusatory way that she is afraid of yelling because her dad yelled before we were separated. I talk to dd and think it has stopped because when next report card comes teacher says we don't need a conference but she actually went to the nurse and the counselour who are convinced she is being molested...by the way, i took her to the doctor before this and she was fine...so the counselour is asking me about the squirming and the pfa in xh's file like he is molesting her....i take her to the doc and a therapist at work,..she is fine...then she gets sick and starts up again...she had a chart to keep track..i had to have a meeting at school with teacher, nurse, psychologist and principal...i brought my mom and chart to prove it was only when she was sick. they let it go but i was ready to pull her out this year until we found out she was getting the teacher her friend had who is awesome..she IS awesome and told ME about her doing it and helped with the chart...she and the counselour are being nice so far...but her math teacher is mean and DD already says she doesn't want to go next year...she is terrified at school and who can blame her? IT IS A TERRIFYING PLACE
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#69 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 01:30 PM
 
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And another thing....when did we stop teaching our children about that little voice inside of them, that tells them when something is not right?? When did we stop telling them that their body is their OWN and that if something is crepping them out, that they have the right, NAY, the DUTY, to turn tail and get away from the situation??

I swear, this is why we have turned into a nation of idiots, who couldn't hear their own intuition if it were screaming in a bullhorn!! This is why we have so many mamas and papas buying into bogus nonsense about how this or that is "soo dangerous"...people don't listen to that little voice anymore. We have become completely comfortable with putting our lives, decisions and BODIES into the hands of the "people in charge"...it makes me sick.

Nobody knows what's best for my kids but me and their dad. Period.

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#70 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 01:50 PM
 
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Avery's mom makes a great point.

Forget abut a civil suit. Charge those school administration with some kind of sexual violence crime and arrest them!

Imagine: One adult delivers a 13 year old girl to two other adults who force her to take her clothes off and show them her genitals. Wait. We don't have to imagine this. It's what happened to this child. Horrible. Criminal.

She and her family are very courageous.

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#71 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 02:38 PM
 
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WHEN are they going to make their decision???? I can't stand this!!!
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#72 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 02:41 PM
 
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WHEN are they going to make their decision???? I can't stand this!!!
:

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#73 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 05:43 PM
 
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Now here's the disturbing thing. Minors can be charged for sending nude/semi-nude pics to each other, yet these school officials strip searched a minor and are still not jailed?

I hope these school officials get what they deserve, because if the Supreme Court finds in their favor, sexual predators in schools with rejoice with all the prey at their disposal.

Equuskia in with Nodtveidt DD1 : DD2 :
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#74 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 05:59 PM
 
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Now here's the disturbing thing. Minors can be charged for sending nude/semi-nude pics to each other, yet these school officials strip searched a minor and are still not jailed?

I hope these school officials get what they deserve, because if the Supreme Court finds in their favor, sexual predators in schools with rejoice with all the prey at their disposal.
Yes..how sick and scary is that.
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#75 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 06:10 PM
 
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The Court will hear oral arguments for the case on Tuesday, the 28th, I believe. After that, it'll probably be a couple of months, at least, before a decision is released and published. The Supreme Court moves at glacial speed.

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#76 of 80 Old 04-23-2009, 06:55 PM
 
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The Court will hear oral arguments for the case on Tuesday, the 28th, I believe. After that, it'll probably be a couple of months, at least, before a decision is released and published. The Supreme Court moves at glacial speed.
oh brother
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#77 of 80 Old 04-24-2009, 12:14 PM
 
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Just a little PSA:

I decided to homeschool too. I was willing to make great financial sacrifices in order to do so. I worked nights so I could homeschool days. I got both food and textbooks from dumpsters when I could.

My ex husband decided that my son should go to public school. My parents liked that idea because they wanted me to get a day job and a weekend job as well as my night job and, as my father told my son, "most men want working wives these days. Even doctors, who could afford to have wives who don't work, usually want sailboats instead so no matter what the wife's druthers are, the children have to go to public school."

I guess he forgot that I'd been divorced for twelve years or else he thought it didn't matter. I guess he forgot that my ex husband hadn't worked or paid child support in seven years or else he thought that didn't matter either.

It really didn't matter, because I showed the police my custody order that my ex had signed agreeing to give me the right to make educational decisions, but the police didn't enforce it because homeschooling is "weird".

So I have a kid in public school.

I know you don't think this could happen to you because you are smarter than me, went to a better college than me, have a more supportive coparent than me, aren't as naive as I was to think that I had family support when I didn't, and are just all around cooler than me. I'm not here to argue with you about that and I hope from the bottom of my heart that you are right and that you never, EVER have to go through the heartbreak I have been enduring for the past two and a half years.

I thought I didn't have to care about what went on in public schools.

I was wrong.
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#78 of 80 Old 04-24-2009, 12:31 PM
 
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I'm sorry for what you've gone through, noordinaryspider.
I homeschool, but I care very much about what goes on in public schools. I've watched the trend of criminalizing children in the public school system, and it concerns me greatly. I'm not sure what to do about it other than spread the word, and hope that someone in power cares.
I'm very worried about the decision in this case. Worried, but hopeful.

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#79 of 80 Old 04-24-2009, 04:01 PM
 
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I'm sorry for what you've gone through, noordinaryspider.
I homeschool, but I care very much about what goes on in public schools. I've watched the trend of criminalizing children in the public school system, and it concerns me greatly. I'm not sure what to do about it other than spread the word, and hope that someone in power cares.
I'm very worried about the decision in this case. Worried, but hopeful.
I agree.
Although we homeschool I still have many children that I love that do go to ps. Family and dc of friends. Also, it doesn't matter if I know the child personally or not, NO child should have to go through that.
I think this is an over all "How our society views children's rights" topic rather than just a ps issue.

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#80 of 80 Old 04-24-2009, 04:58 PM
 
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There's also a compelling gender component of all this that I don't really see being addressed by the media and the court. There was some conversation in court the day arguments were heard about how children are accustomed to undressing as a group for gym, etc. The justice talking about this was male, and was suggesting that boys dressing for gym as a group was somehow similar to a single pubescent girl being forced to undress and show her genitals to adults in a punative situation. A HUGE difference. Context can be everything is situations like this. My sons shower together. And they love to be naked. So does it follow that if an adult male drags one of them out of a group setting, coerces him to undress and then takes a shower with him it should be okay because he is used to shower with another person and he likes to be naked? My kids would be terrified and damaged by such a situation and so, by her own account, was this young girl.

At least there is one woman on the court--and she did beg to differ with her colleague about the difference between boys and girls and their relative comfort levels.

Still, I don't see the wider culture particularly alarmed about the coercion and the psycho-sexual damage this incident risked. I can't believe the somewhat general assumption that children and young teens SHOULD be expected to disrobe for adults on command in some circumstances, and the court is just figuring what those circumstances are.

It is all so sick.

I wonder if the anti-sexual abuse advocates have made noise about this, and I've just missed it?

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