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Old 04-23-2009, 09:11 PM
 
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when in laws share their "..so I licked it and it was poo" stories, you say "I haven't YET." but totally understand how it happens now.

"please put you penis away" and "stop wiping your penis on the couch." are often uttered without raising an eyebrow.

and a stroller walk means that both you and dc push your own stroller....no dc in the stroller.
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Old 04-23-2009, 09:31 PM
 
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*When you're in the habit of pulling your skirt up to your knees and looking down before you start walking, to make sure there's no-one hiding under it

*When glitter has become contraband that will not enter your house on pain of death

*When you spend five minutes looking for your kids in the mall, only to remember that you're actually shopping alone, for once (except I was shopping for maternity clothes! )

*When you're kneeling in the driveway scrubbing melted chocolate out of the Mercedes' beige carpet, only to have someone come up behind you and squirt you in the butt with the garden hose

Tanya ~~ mother to: Beth, 12 -- Cali & Trent, 9 -- Melanie, 8 -- Jesse & Davin, 5 -- Baby Shae 9/1/2009
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Old 04-23-2009, 11:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by geiamama View Post
You know you're a parent when your hot drink is always stone cold by the time you drink it and you eat biscuits (cookies) really quietly in teh kitchen so that you don't have to share! :

Yup!!

Or when you get peed on and you think, it's OK, it will dry

wife to DH 2/03, mama to DS 3/03 & DD 1/09
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Old 04-24-2009, 01:47 AM
 
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OOHHHH I can so relate, great thread

Catching vomit....check
sleeping in pee............check
sniffing, not licking to check for chocolate or poo.......check
eating spit food (gnawed donuts, bagels, etc).......check
covering everyong all night long...............check
booboo kisses to all..............check
singing kid songs all day.......check
washing faces with thumb and spit........check
more penis talk than I could ever imagine............check
feeling cheeky for staying up past ten...........check
sex????????............check
helping grown up friends cross the road..........check


and to add........getting a reputation at work for ensuring collegues have nutritious snacks.

doing up DH's jacket zipper without noticing till he informs me he's a big boy and can do it himself.
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Old 04-24-2009, 08:07 AM
 
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doing up DH's jacket zipper without noticing till he informs me he's a big boy and can do it himself.
Oh yeah! Or buttoning his shirt.

-pixie, my dear, and (A-88), N-98, Littlest-06/00-08/00, J-03 & Little Miss Cotton Ball Button-03 (SN), S-05, Hope-loss 09/09, Bean-loss 04/10, and littlePopcorn due feb. 8th -11.
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Old 04-24-2009, 10:26 AM
 
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love these!

Some of our favorites phrases
"(insert object name here) don't go on penises!"
"Paint goes on paper, not on (mommy, cat, walls, shoes, or any other nearby surface)"

YOu know you're a parent when
-when you shower, if you shower, you do so with a toddler, a plastic lobster, a ball, three cups, measuring spoons, and a train at your feet.
-date night often consists of a 10 minute conversation with DH at the kitchen table while DS plays in the den
-you think that people who sleep in all the way until 7AM are just plain lazy
-10PM is unreasonably late for any human being to be awake
-your once stylish home is now barren of decorations becasue they are "unsafe"
-you get excited over backhoes, skid steers, and john deere tractors because DS likes them
-you have no clue what's going on in pop culture "Jonas who? He has a brother? whatever."
-you listen to kid music even when no kids are in the car
-Sex is something you read about once in a magazine
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Old 04-24-2009, 11:02 AM
 
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My LOs aren't exactly LOs anymore.. they're almost 12 (in two days) and 15 yrs of age, but OMG, this thread has had me absolutely ROLLING in laughter this morning.. and because of that, I've had tons of memories coming back. Thanks for posting this thread!

Wife and mother to 2 kiddos - 17 yr old DS jammin.gifand 13 yr old DD energy.gif.. and a cat that thinks he's a dog dizzy.gif
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Old 04-24-2009, 01:21 PM
 
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Quote:
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...when you have caught vomit in your hands without flinching.

...when you have nursed a child in a forward facing carseat while still being buckled in yourself.

...when you have to ask that underwear be worn at the dinnertable.
Done these-- more than once!

I really felt like a parent when I nursed a toddler, rocked an infant to sleep, and helped my 9 year old with math, all at the same time.
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Old 04-24-2009, 03:13 PM
 
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When you find yourself bouncing/rocking/shushing your dog or cat while holding them at the vet's.


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Originally Posted by Ellen Griswold View Post
My cat likes to eat lotion. Maybe they should get together?
:


And from this morning. . .

I was reading a story to DS1 that happened to include a Water Buffalo, and he pulled out his penis. I told him that one day, his foreskin would roll back, and he'd be able to see the head underneath. He said, "The buffalo have a head, and my foreskin will roll back and there is a bufffalo head inside!" :

computergeek2.gif  wife to bikenew.gif and momma to my intact boys headscratch.gif 06/19/06 and mischievous.gif 10/10/08 We delayed/selective vax; constantly wash.gif  always intactlact.gif

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Old 04-24-2009, 04:47 PM
 
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He said, "The buffalo have a head, and my foreskin will roll back and there is a bufffalo head inside!" :
Might want to mention that to his girlfriend in a few years

GOOD moms let their kids lick the beaters. GREAT moms turn off the mixer first!
Humanist Woman Wife , & Friend Plus Mama to 6 (3 mos, 2, 9, 13, 17, 20)
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Old 04-24-2009, 05:12 PM
 
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definate blackmail material!

computergeek2.gif  wife to bikenew.gif and momma to my intact boys headscratch.gif 06/19/06 and mischievous.gif 10/10/08 We delayed/selective vax; constantly wash.gif  always intactlact.gif

Niemals Gewalt
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Old 04-24-2009, 05:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This morning I cleaned up baby puke at 5am and didn't bat an eyelash... It had even soaked into the sheet where he was sleeping so I just got him something dry to sleep on, rocked him a bit, and went right back to sleep. When we woke up later I realized that the bed still had that faint "puke scent" and I'd slept right through it; a year ago I would have changed the sheets because I'd have been sick.

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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Old 04-24-2009, 05:48 PM
 
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...when you listen to the Sesame Street Christmas album twice on Easter Sunday (and every day after that, for nearly two weeks so far).

Mama to a boy EnviroKid treehugger.gif 9 years old and a new little girl EnviroBaby baby.gif!

I write about parenting, environment, cooking, and more. computergeek2.gif

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Old 04-24-2009, 06:05 PM
 
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Speaking of wiping things

...."Don't wipe your boogers on (your sister, the dog, the cat, the walls, the counter, me!!)"

And when you can ask "Where did this poop come from?!" (it was smeared on the wall next to the toilet AND on the seat) and know very well who it came from. DS "found" it smeared on his leg one day and could not figure out how it got there!:

Oh, and when your DVD player freezes because you have watched the same Spongebob movie over, and over, and over again. We had to take the DVD player apart to get the beloved movie out

wife to DH 2/03, mama to DS 3/03 & DD 1/09
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Old 04-24-2009, 06:07 PM
 
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"The buffalo have a head, and my foreskin will roll back and there is a bufffalo head inside!"

Ok that is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

Elizabeth - Doing life with Scott partners.gif

SAHM to Evelyn - my crazy little Celiac (4) energy.gif Annabelle (2)  love.gif and Abraham (born 6/20) buddamomimg1.png
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Old 04-24-2009, 06:09 PM
 
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When I first found out I was pregnant I was watching an episode of CSI that involved a child being molested and killed...I had to watch it in short pieces because it was so disturbing.

Oh yeah, DH and I watched the one where the baby was abducted (turned out to be the Mom's lover).

The whole scene was very disturbing (mom was held back while they ran off w/ her child).

Mama to expecting Babe 2
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Old 04-24-2009, 06:27 PM
 
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...when you it feels weird to type with two hands because you're usually NAKing or holding someone and typing with the other.

Keeping busy with 2 boys & 1 girl ('04, '06, '08)
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Old 04-24-2009, 10:52 PM
 
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...when any phone conversation is interrupted constantly with phrases like: Don't eat the pen, you are not a dinosaur (our favorite), please put the garbage back into the bin, as well as answering the question "who are you talking to?" about 10 times in 2 minutes

Mom of DS (07/2006) and DD (01/2008)
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Old 04-24-2009, 10:54 PM
 
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...when you it feels weird to type with two hands because you're usually NAKing or holding someone and typing with the other.
*nods* i get really excited when i get to type with 2 hands!!

*when you barely notice the baby smears across your glasses anymore; just peer around them to type

wife to wonderful dh_malesling.GIF mama of three-DS1 born December 30, 2005 and DS2 born September 27, 2008 and one lovely little girl born September 7, 2011jumpers.gif

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Old 04-25-2009, 12:11 AM
 
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...your walls are covered in signs that say things like,
"GRANDDAD AND TRAINS"
"I AM A BUNNY YOU ARE A ROBOT"
"POLICE PLEASE POLICE PLEASE FLEECE FLEECE FLEECE"
"MY SHOULDER IS HURTING"
"STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!"
"FLOATING ALIEN JELLYFISH"
"THOMAS WAS WORKING IN THE QUARRY"
"STEELERS ARE WINNING"
"BARACK OBAMA IS WINNING"

because your child is learning to write and keeps asking you to spell words for him to write and wanting to hang up his signs, and of course you want to encourage him, and it's only as you write this picturing the signs that you realize the events during which he wrote those last two signs were 3 and 5 months ago respectively.
Our kids should hang out! My six year old could spell words for your 4 year old and then they could both hang a million signs and pictures all over the walls together (the easter bunny brought J a roll of scotch tape, and he was delighted )

Right now our walls say:

BONEVILLE AVENUE CAFE - YES WE ARE OPEN COME IN!!!!!
Cardinals - 53 Dragons - 80 Dragons WIN!
NO PARKING, Parking for the Football Game ONLY
Daddy thinks J is awesome, yes he does, of course he does, YES.
I'm Gonna Eat you FOR REAL!!!!! (accompanying a picture of a dragon)

and my personal favorite, hanging on his door:
No Babies Allowed

Breeder Mama: = wife to an amazing man + mama to J-Bear (07/02) and E-Train (06/08), nanny to Little Bird (07/10).

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Old 04-25-2009, 12:37 AM
 
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- When you find yourself agreeing with your LO that, of course, looking out the front door is a perfect place to put the potty (certainly better scenery)

- When your LO eats a day old dried pea from under her high chair and you think, "well, at least it was a vegetable instead of fuzz this time"

- You purposely leave the house each morning at exactly 8:19AM so that we'll see the #245 bus on the way to daycare, just so you can hear that excited voice in the backseat yelling "bus!"

- You don't think twice when eating something that has already been halfway in someone's mouth...and it's not even your own kid!

- You realize how a mere 5 minutes can seem like an eternity when you're trying to explain to your 19 month old DD that we have to wait our turn for the swings at the park, (you of course try to pass the time by saying it in a loud enough voice so that the other parent who is unreasonably monopolizing the swing with THEIR LO for a whole 5 minutes can hear you )
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Old 04-25-2009, 10:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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- You've ever tried to reason with a newborn "There's no way you're hungry. Mommy just fed you 10mins ago."

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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Old 04-26-2009, 02:28 AM
 
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Quote:
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- You've ever tried to reason with a newborn "There's no way you're hungry. Mommy just fed you 10mins ago."
I did the same thing toda with my 3 month old!!


Quote:
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(the easter bunny brought J a roll of scotch tape, and he was delighted )
Tape is a great gift for the creative child. Every year I get DS a BUNCH of tape and envelopes. He gets so psyched

wife to DH 2/03, mama to DS 3/03 & DD 1/09
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Old 04-26-2009, 02:39 AM
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you can say things like.. "no, i dont want to see your penis" "please stop wiggling your penis at me" without blinking

i make up songs as well, her favourite is

"pooper trooper, gunna change your nappy, cos you stink of poo (pa pa poo pa pa) yes you really do (pa pa poo pa pa) its a good job i love you" (to the tune of super trooper lol)
My DD really likes ABBA, and so I sang this to my DD a few times the last two days, and she's been going about singing the first bit over and over. My whole family is cracking up. I came back just to check what you had made up for the rest so I can sing it all to her. Thanks for the fun! :
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Old 04-26-2009, 05:35 AM
 
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When you have to do the dishes in order of priority in case the baby wakes up...and you still can't decide which should be first priority--the coffee pot or the breast pump parts!

Mama lady to my lady baby born 3/09 on the kitchen floor.  Looking forward to seeing which room's floor the next one will be born on in October.  love.gif
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Old 04-26-2009, 12:55 PM
 
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you know you're a co-sleeping mom to a toddler because you know exactly what it feels like to have your nipples stepped on.
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Old 04-26-2009, 12:58 PM
 
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When you have to do the dishes in order of priority in case the baby wakes up...and you still can't decide which should be first priority--the coffee pot or the breast pump parts!
When your child is a little older you can do the coffee pot with confidence. My DD can sit on the counter and nurse while I wash the rest of the dishes.
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Old 04-27-2009, 01:05 AM
 
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When you are riding in a car full of adults and pass a train and shout out "Choo-choo! Choo-choo!"
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Old 04-27-2009, 01:54 AM
 
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you know you're a co-sleeping mom to a toddler because you know exactly what it feels like to have your nipples stepped on.
omg this happens every day and I was too embarrased to say anything because I thought I was alone on this one. It makes it so much worse when your have the pg sensitive nipple thing going on and your half alseep and BAM! they get squished.

Kim: Wife To Colby. Mommy To DS1 Christopher and DS2 Bradly. :
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Old 04-27-2009, 01:59 AM
 
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When trying to nurse lying down you wonder what that thing is between your shoulder blades and its a toy. Then you get up and realize that the whole bed is covered in toys....
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