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It's Apparent You're A Parent When...

10K views 154 replies 101 participants last post by  preshpb 
#1 ·
- Your children are cleaner than you are.

- You don't realize you haven't eaten until hours after you've fed everyone else.

- Being peed on, puked on, or even pooped on doesn't faze you because it happens daily.

Add yours!
 
#6 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by tessie View Post
When you'll sleep in baby vomit rather than change the sheet, just to grab an extra five minutes of sleep.
The baby vomits on you and you think "I should change shirts." It's the very end of the day before you realize you never actually did so...
 
#9 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by faerierose View Post
You think it's normal to say things like "Cats are not for licking" and "Please don't put the raisins up your nose"

"We don't vacuum the dog."


* A 10PM bedtime is a late night
* Getting a sitter two nights in a row seems like a luxury bordering on gross extravagance
* You enthusiastically ask your DH about his "poops" when potty-learning ears are in listening distance-- and esnthusiastically discuss your own
* Waking up at 9AM is sleeping late
* You can no longer watch TV shows or movies where children are hurt (like L&O:SVU... I used to love that show. There's no way I can watch it now).
 
#10 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Snuzzmom View Post
* You can no longer watch TV shows or movies where children are hurt (like L&O:SVU... I used to love that show. There's no way I can watch it now).
When I first found out I was pregnant I was watching an episode of CSI that involved a child being molested and killed...I had to watch it in short pieces because it was so disturbing.
 
#12 ·
You start wondering if sex-ed teachers and instructed to talk about how much having a child can "ruin your life" because your life is better now that you have kids then it ever was before.

You start singing you LO's favourite kids song on the bus on your way home from the store because it's stuck in your head now.

You turn down a night out with a friend because you have other plans that you don't want to miss... that include popcorn, pillows and blankets in the living room and a G rated movie.
 
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#14 ·
*When your entire life is affected by if the baby has pooped yet or not.
*When you can whip up four different dinners for four different people in less than 20 minutes.
*When you spend more on diapers in a month than you do on clothes for yourself in a year.
*When you can clean up just about anything with nothing but baby wipes.
*When you find yourself looking forward to Jack Black being on Yo Gabba Gabba!
*When you find yourself watching iCarly and actually liking it long after the children are in bed. (Don't judge me...Spencer is hilarious!)
 
#16 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post
My son fixates on things and I had definitely found myself doing that sort of thing.
Dh and I have definitely said over the years things like "Cat!" "Look a horse!" and "There's Orlando Bloom!"
 
#19 ·
When your baby is dressed immaculately in hand-sewn matching clothes, but you routinely wear the three-years-old top that's breastfeeding-friendly and has rusk smeared on the sleeves.

When your mother saves jam lids for you, because the baby likes to chew on them.
 
#20 ·
When the most dancing you have done in ages is in front of the potty, and invovles a song about learning to poop there. When you look at eveything you put down in the house and think, wll someone try to put this in thier ear, mouth, nose, etc!
 
#21 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by HappilyEvrAfter View Post
When you can't find your lipstick because your purse if full of crayons, toy cars, snotty tissues, the lovey, a juice box, etc....
Umm....when you don't even HAVE lipstick!!!
 
#22 ·
When you grab your (very grown, older than you) friends arm while attempting to cross the street and point out the car coming.

And later that same night push his drink longer in on the table, away from the edge.

And when you go to the bathroom a little later (same night) you announce that you "just have to go pee, be right back hon".

And you don't realize until reading this thread that that might have been weird to your friend and that you really haven't spent time out w/o kids in so many years.
 
#23 ·
These are great.. I needed a chuckle.

When you say "its ok, mommy will get it" and realize that you weren't talking to your child or a child at all
When your bookcase that use to be full with classics is now full with Dr. Suess
When an intellectual conversation comes down to how fall the baby has crawled across the floor that day.
 
#24 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by OkiMom View Post
When your bookcase that use to be full with classics is now full with Dr. Suess
I consider Dr. Suess to be a classic.


My additions:

*when you find yourself offering a "boo-boo kiss" to your husband who has stubbed his toe.
 
#25 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by tessie View Post
When you'll sleep in baby vomit rather than change the sheet, just to grab an extra five minutes of sleep.
Or urine.
:

Quote:

Originally Posted by kirstenb View Post
You exclaim "A bike!" every time you see one because DS is so infatuated with them, even when you are by yourself.
We point out big trucks and heavy machinery.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellen Griswold View Post
...when you have caught vomit in your hands without flinching.
I have done this soooo many times.


Now mine:
When dressing up to go out involves wearing a matching macaroni necklace and bracelet with homemade glitter glue/paper jewels strung on it becuz it was a special gift from your dc and seeing it on you makes his/her eyes light up.
 
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#26 ·
These are great!!

When you get puked on and you don't even consider changing, just rub it in!!

When YOU smell like baby puke because it's still in your hair.

When you are bouncing/rocking your whole body when you aren't wearing your baby.
 
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