like i said, this is just something that has been on my mind. full disclosure: i must admit that i have a potty mouth. my daughter is not four months old yet, but i do not always succeed in self-editing around her.
So far DS1 (who is almost 4yo) will use the odd curse word, but I explain to him that they're grown up words and not very nice grown up words and he can use them when he grows up. He accepts this and doesn't swear very often.
Don't know about DS2 yet, cos he's not talking, but I hope he's as good as DS1!
Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012) Married to awesome SAH DH.
The only rule we have regarding swearing is "only justifiable cussing allowed". And yeah, DD has a few choice phases of her own for when she needs them.
If it looks like I'm trying to pick a fight... I'm not, I'm rarely that obvious.
Generally I don't care if people I'm closely aquainted with cuss when my kids aren't around (as long as it isn't every other word like they have no vocabulary) but, if it's a public place or a person whom I don't know well I think its horribly distastful. I fully understand some people could care less and I've heard all the arguements about how they are words just like any other words BUT, I think what I think and thats not going to change. I'm pretty colorful so it's sort of surprising that cussing never really caught on with me honestly. Strange.
When I hear kids (especially small children) cussing I can't help but have this grimace plastered across my face. If it keeps up and they are old enough to realize what they are saying I'll actually speak up and say something to them whether their parents are present or not.
I think we've all cussed. No biggie. BUT, I don't think a practice should be made of it in public matters (or around children in general). In life I'm fairly liberal but I'm sort of old school when it comes to this issue.
I do teach the kids what the words mean and what situations they're appropriate for, though. I've honestly had very few problems with them being potty-mouthed (the words aren't forbidden, and thus have little allure). I also don't think I've been embarrassed by my kids anymore than the average parent.
We try to cultivate a positive attitude that makes allowances for difficult situations and tries to find the bright side of them, reducing the occasion for cursing, too -- ie, no swearing because I broke something or in my car at the driver who cut me off. I might remark to my children that "I guess he has somewhere he needs to get to fast! Hope he can get there safely"
My dd and I discuss "curse" words and potentially offensive language as it comes up in books we read together or movies we see. And we do read/watch some adult material with her. (She is actually even more conservative about it than I am and has requested that I stop my occasional use of the word "crap", for example.) I try to avoid putting my sons in situations where they will be exposed to curse words at all...would rather wait till they are older, because once they start asking questions, I will give them open and complete answers.
I sometimes still use the word "crap" under my breath, though But mostly it is even milder euphamisms, if anything. Crumbs! Fudge! etc.
I mostly don't want him to toddle up to his sweet 92 year old great grandma and shock the living daylights out of her. Things like that. He's just a baby now and we are making headway.
Thinking of starting a swear jar, every swear in child's presence/earshot and the offender puts a dollar of their fun money into his savings account. But then maybe we'd feel guilty for not swearing? A paradox.
I don't believe in censorship etc but I would prefer my children to learn the nice words before the naughty words lol.
She is 5 and I don't think she has ever really messed it up.
Barbara: an always learning SAHM of Ilana (11) and Aiden (8) living in Belgium with my amazing husband.
I get tired of hearing boring word ruts (like people that drop f***ing between every word). I enjoy some of ds's more creative utterances. He is very much a quoter and picks up words easily and makes them his own. He is very attracted to insults, for some reason. I was very glad we didn't curse around him when he was younger (dh did a little bit). The whole "just explain that it isn't appropriate" approach wouldn't have worked when he was younger because he isn't a people pleasing or compliant kid.
At the risk of being flamed, I think profanity makes you look uneducated and low class, certainly things I don't wish for my children. And I say this as a reformed f* bomb dropper.
At age 11 and 12 my friends and I cursed like little sailors because it was fun. When we moved the habit fell away. As an adult I only did now and then whenever I heard it alot, depending on who my friends were. I never swore around my daughter until she was a teen and only then whenever I was very frustrated or angry. My current hubby swears alot and that's gotten me to do the same again although I won't swear around people that I know don't like it.
Hubby cusses in front of his kids which I don't like. Among adults I don't have a problem with it (except in the few cases where some people insert the f bomb around every other word in a normal conversation as if they have an extremely limited vocabulary ) but I don't understand adults who use those words around children. I don't buy the argument that they are "just" words. Words have meaning, for good or for bad, and they can sting or they can uplift.
I don't cuss around my daughter or around my grandkids and hubby doesn't either. I've never had to tell him not to, luckily he just realizes that it's inappropriate around certain people or in certain situations.
As a child, I hated my mother's rules about language use-"Shut up" was off limits as was swearing. Her explanation for that-"save the strong language for the moments when you really need strong language, and it will mean a lot more when you do use it." As an adult, I've embraced that, because I've seen how true it really is. As with most things, there's a time and a place for "colorful language" and I know that when I let loose with a colorful turn of phrase, my husband knows I mean it.
my kids are turning 3 and turning 5 and my older has definitely uttered some choice words at really awkward times.
i'm always like...omg. where on earth did she learn that?
My kids say "tarter sauce" and "barnacles" for emphasis like sponge bob
So, I don't really mind if people use a few swear words around DD or if a movie/song has a couple in them. There is definietly a line, although I'm not sure exactly how far is too far. I just know it when I hear it and I will speak up if I do.
Our 2 year old has quite the mouth though so we're really watching what we're saying right now.