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#1 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 01:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So the leash thread had me wondering if there were any gadgets or mainstream baby furnishings (crib, playpen etc.) that MDC mamas do think are absurd/demeaning/just wrong or is the general idea that it only matters how it is used?

I might do a poll if anyone is interested in this.....
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#2 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 01:31 PM
 
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I'm pretty moderate as far as MDC'ers go, but I do think it is the way in which the contraptions are used, even things like carriers and slings.

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#3 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 01:33 PM
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Paddles for spanking. Thats all I can think of off the top of my head. I'm pretty open minded. I don't see all those things as necessary, but I don't see them as demeaning. I guess I also don't have much interest in brainstorming what I would find demeaning either lol, I'm certainly not going to TRY to be judgemental lol

I do agree with georgia though - I think its how things are used - I guess parents can be demeaning, but most things I dont see to be demeaning on their own, when used properly by a parent and child both happy with the arrangement.
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#4 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 02:05 PM
 
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I don't think the gadgetry itself is demeaning, just largely unnecessary. And I hate how everything is marketed to parents as being necessary because it's SAFE or EDUCATIONAL.
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#5 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 02:08 PM
 
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I truly believe an item becomes "absurd" when it's used improperly. A crib can be a helpful tool, if used accordingly, and not used as a cage to imprison your child for hours on end while he or she screams.

As for us? The only thing that we bought (that we were told we HAD TO HAVE) was an infant chair that we barely used. 99% of the time he was in our arms, and the 1% was the time I used it when I was trying to shower. It's not absurd, but I've seen friends put it on the table, with their baby in it, and walk away from them. Again, that's not the item that's absurd.
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#6 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 02:35 PM
 
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I can't think of anything...some of the toys (and often the ones marked "educational"), maybe...but none of the equipment. It can all be used badly, but everyone is in a different situation, so I'm not going to say what works for someone else. (Full disclosure...I've used high chairs, swings, soft carriers, backpacks, strollers, playpens, a crib - briefly, and a "bucket" carseat. I think that's about it. I may have tried some others with ds1, but I didn't have any money. ) I do think a lot of stuff is generally unnecessary, but that doesn't mean it's inherently wrong, or that it's "bad" - just not necessary. If people find that it makes their lives easier, then why not? (The first thing I'm thinking of is baby bathtubs. I honestly don't get them. I've always just used one of those little wire frames with a cloth cover to hold the baby semi-upright in the sink...and I know people who don't even use those. When they outgrow that, they move into the tub with me. That doesn't mean I think there's anything wrong with the tubs, though. I just don't have a need for one for my family.)

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#7 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 02:46 PM
 
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I can't think of anything...some of the toys (and often the ones marked "educational"), maybe...but none of the equipment. It can all be used badly, but everyone is in a different situation, so I'm not going to say what works for someone else. (Full disclosure...I've used high chairs, swings, soft carriers, backpacks, strollers, playpens, a crib - briefly, and a "bucket" carseat. I think that's about it. I may have tried some others with ds1, but I didn't have any money. ) I do think a lot of stuff is generally unnecessary, but that doesn't mean it's inherently wrong, or that it's "bad" - just not necessary. If people find that it makes their lives easier, then why not? (The first thing I'm thinking of is baby bathtubs. I honestly don't get them. I've always just used one of those little wire frames with a cloth cover to hold the baby semi-upright in the sink...and I know people who don't even use those. When they outgrow that, they move into the tub with me. That doesn't mean I think there's anything wrong with the tubs, though. I just don't have a need for one for my family.)
I was thinking tubs too when I thought of absurd! No offense to anyone who bought this particular tub, but did you see the ones that are the baby "spas"? They come with something that makes the water bubble and a spray attachment. That is the only thing I really thought was absurd!!

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#8 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 03:07 PM
 
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I'm totally guilty of judging the time-out mat so that's one I've said I think is absurd.

But overall I guess I trust thoughtful parents to make good decisions for them and their kid and their family.

We have a very generous family and had lots of hand me downs and devices either given to us or available – bouncy chair, exersaucer, swing, jolly jumper, TWO playpens, an arm's reach cosleeper, crib, change table, rocking chair, toddler rocker, sling, snugli, bathtub, bath ring, high chair, booster seat, travel system, folding stroller, and joggling stroller, two potties, a toilet seat that fits on the toilet… I'm probably forgetting some.

And then I went and bought the one device we used every day – the Ergo. (It's a miracle I could walk around anywhere in my house right?) Oh yes and I bought the dreaded leash after a particularly fraught trip through the zoo.

Anyways, my son used perhaps 1/3 of all that but I wouldn't have guessed which he was going to choose or even when. He hated the jolly jumper. Loved the swing – for about 3 weeks, but I had clean floors as a result! Despised the highchair after about a year old. Used the exersaucer for about three months before he discovered walking (again! Clean floors!) And so on.

It was nice to be able to try things out as he liked them, and to pass them on after he was done. Nothing was all that necessary really (except the Ergo!) but that doesn't mean we didn't appreciate them.

If I were going out shopping I wouldn't buy all that, but I don't really get the seething and loathing over them either. I know that some people overuse them, but you know what? You can put your baby on the floor, walk away, and neglect him/her. Neglect is not related to stuff but to attitude.

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#9 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 03:14 PM
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oh, thats a good point Jenn. I think the time out mats and time out chairs and time out corners and time out places and time out hats are demeaning. I guess the only thing I think is demeaning is punitive action - with or without a gadget to carry it out. I wouldn't say in those cases the objects are demeaning, but the actions are (hitting, time outs, punitive measure, etc)

but a chair can just be a chair, a mat can just be a mat, a hat can just be a hat, a bedroom can just be a bedroom, a corner could be a comfort corner that the child goes to of their own free will with nice calming activities. So really, the objects aren't demeaning (except maybe things along the lines of a dunce hat with dunce written on them, in which case why would the parent buy it in the first place unless they intended to use it for purposes I would consider demeaning to the child) but really, its not about the objects, its how those objects are used. Parents can demean their child with or without certain gadgets. The responsibility is on the parent, not the objects, imo.
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#10 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 03:26 PM
 
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I'm totally guilty of judging the time-out mat so that's one I've said I think is absurd.
I'd forgotten that those (and the time-out chairs) even existed. I've seen them online, but not in person. I do find them kind of humiliating...and we've even resorted to a variant on time-out for ds2, on occasion (sometimes, removing him is the only way to get him to stop hitting...but he always has the option of having me or his dad - or even ds1 - sitting with him).

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#11 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 05:17 PM
 
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I think it's mostly about how things are used - however, I thought the sling thing to carry a bucket car seat was absurd. Not demeaning, just silly (though I'm sure there are people out there who find them useful in ways I've never imagined).
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#12 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 05:31 PM
 
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I think it's mostly about how things are used - however, I thought the sling thing to carry a bucket car seat was absurd. Not demeaning, just silly (though I'm sure there are people out there who find them useful in ways I've never imagined).
Probably - they looked way harder than just carrying the bucket to me...

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#13 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 05:38 PM
 
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I think it's mostly about how things are used - however, I thought the sling thing to carry a bucket car seat was absurd. Not demeaning, just silly (though I'm sure there are people out there who find them useful in ways I've never imagined).
They have... slings for bucket car seats? That make little sense to me, I admit.

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#14 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 05:45 PM
 
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They have... slings for bucket car seats? That make little sense to me, I admit.
Yup - a big strap that attaches to the bucket, so you can strap it over your shoulder and carry it in front of you. I think it's supposed to reduce wear and tear on your arms...or something...

I'd post a link, but I can't remember what they're called. The Google search terms I've tried haven't worked.

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#15 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 05:49 PM
 
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#16 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 05:50 PM
 
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...and there it is.

It looks even more uncomfortable than I remember it looking.

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#17 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 05:52 PM
 
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I know! And there's not even a baby in it. I can't imagine how much more uncomfortable it would be with an extra 6-20lbs thrown in!
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#18 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 06:01 PM
 
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I think I'll stick to more traditional babywearing if it's all the same. Acctually I'm not sure I even know how to take the bucket off the carseat base.

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#19 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 06:04 PM
 
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Okay, now that is absurd, and I would dare say just wrong as well.

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#20 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 06:05 PM
 
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Anyways, my son used perhaps 1/3 of all that but I wouldn't have guessed which he was going to choose or even when. He hated the jolly jumper.
YES, this is so true! Everyone told me how awesome the vibrating baby chairs were. DS HATED!!!! that thing, but loved being able to bounce in the jumper when he was older. Also, he hated the swing at first and all carriers... then liked them after trying again a couple of weeks later.

You really never know. We still have the vibrating seat because DD-to-be might like it.
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#21 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 06:09 PM
 
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OH! I thought of one... Peepee Teepees. We got them as a gift. Unless your DS lies absolutely still and absoutely on his back, they fall off. OR they stay on, but he sprays them into the air when he pees.

Those were definitely the most useless things we had.
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#22 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 06:53 PM
 
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OH! I thought of one... Peepee Teepees. We got them as a gift. Unless your DS lies absolutely still and absoutely on his back, they fall off. OR they stay on, but he sprays them into the air when he pees.

Those were definitely the most useless things we had.
I always thought those were a joke, like glow-in-the-dark condoms. (Which, btw, you are NOT supposed to wear... the glow-in-the-dark stuff comes off, a friend of mine (NOT ME I SWEAR!!!) found this out the hard way.)

I was vehemently anti-stuff before DD was born but I did find that the vibrating chair was extremely useful when she was wee - she would often get too worked up to nurse, and the vibration made her stop crying enough so I could latch her on. The exersaucer was also pretty good for a while, and it's been passed on a couple times now. But the playmat with the danglies was useless. The sling we loved literally to bits, but other carriers were all crap (we didn't have an ergo though - I think I'd like one if there's a baby #2)

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#23 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 07:27 PM
 
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You really never know. We still have the vibrating seat because DD-to-be might like it.
Yeah. DD loved the swing. DS2 didn't care for it...didn't hate it, but didn't like it. (DD used to giggle when we got her close to it, because she knew she was going to swing.) I loved the Jolly Jumper - mom said she almost had to fight to get me out of it...but neither of my siblings was that crazy about it. DS1 loved being worn - front, back, didn't matter. DD loved it when she loved it, but if she wasn't in the mood, she let you know fast! DS2...totally unpredictable with my Snugli (I've had it since ds1 was a baby)...but loved being back-carried in the Ergo.

I hesitate to dismiss any of it, because I never know what any particular baby will like. We still have dd and ds2's swing (ds1 was a lot older, so his swing is long gone) and will try it with this baby...but I really won't mind if he/she doesn't like it. It's got a big footprint.

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#24 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 07:28 PM
 
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But the playmat with the danglies was useless.
DS1 loved that. My others haven't been interested at all.

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#25 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 08:57 PM
 
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Well, I object philosophically to electric baby-minders like swings and vibrating seats, but I do understand why some people use them.

I would definitely say that it's all in how the gear is used. I'm always sad when I see parents trying to comfort a baby without taking him or her out of the bucket, winding up holding the baby only as a last resort.

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#26 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 09:02 PM
 
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Well, I object philosophically to electric baby-minders like swings and vibrating seats, but I do understand why some people use them.

I would definitely say that it's all in how the gear is used. I'm always sad when I see parents trying to comfort a baby without taking him or her out of the bucket, winding up holding the baby only as a last resort.
vibrating baby chair was how we would get ds to poop in the beginning. we used to say "it vibrates the sh#t out of him!" lol. also it was the only place he would sleep besides in arms, and sometimes I needed to poop too
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#27 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 09:34 PM
 
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we used to say "it vibrates the sh#t out of him!" lol.
We say the same thing about driving on the highway for my son. Always guarantees a poop.

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#28 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 09:44 PM
 
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we have a sling. thats pretty much it. i would love a learning tower...but really. thats quite expensive. maybe we will make one ourselves...

other gadgetry is absurd, in my opinion, and potentially convenient, but people crave convenience a little too much. also in my opinion!

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#29 of 149 Old 04-30-2009, 09:48 PM
 
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I would definitely say that it's all in how the gear is used. I'm always sad when I see parents trying to comfort a baby without taking him or her out of the bucket, winding up holding the baby only as a last resort.
I've done that on rare occasions...usually when the baby gets upset when we're almost out of a store or something. It doesn't sit well with me, but I know he/she will be even more upset if I take him/her out, then have to put him/her back two minutes later when we're ready to leave. It bugs me.

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#30 of 149 Old 05-01-2009, 12:30 AM
 
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Ok the sling for the bucket is crazy! People go to such lengths not to hold their babies! I think our bucket seat has come out of the car maybe 5 times in the 4 months I have had the baby and it was all in white out blizzards! I feel so strange carrying him in there, I feel like its treating him like an accessory instead of a person? I just feel more comfortable being able to feel him against my body.

Gadgets we have are a ring sling, hot sling, and a mei tai. I have a very simple bath seat that I lay him in when we are in the shower so
I can shave. Then I also have an older version of this:
http://www.gobabygohamptons.com/Aqua...long_Swing.jpg

I use it when I need to but I am proud to say its had the same batteries for 8years!

I agree with the pp's who say that most gadgets can be demeaning or not depending on the way they are used. I feel bad for 1st time parents who spend so much money because they believe they need so much stuff! I know I really got suckered in when I was pregnant the first time!
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