Just looking for opinions.
YOUR attitude was great. You understood that he was just a child and that it was an accident. You didn't demand that she make him apologize, or make it out like he was being bad.
SHE should have modeled some compassion. She should have come over to see if your child was okay, and apologized (even if it wasn't her fault, she should have acknowledged your dd's injury).
The only thing I have to say is that it may be possible that she didn't see exactly what happened. But if she did see, and didn't say anything, then her inaction was very rude and a terrible example for her son.
I'm sorry that happened.
ETA: if I was in that situation I think I could have possibly overlooked the parent "handling" the situation because I was too focused on my hurt, crying, bleeding child. She still could have apologized though. She may have been really embarrassed, not that I would see that as an excuse.
In regards to apologizing I would say no, from what you shared some one who did not apologize and make sure the other child was okay would not be handling the situation properly. In terms of whether or not she said anything to her son, I would probably assume the best, that she at least covered her bases in this area and I just didnt notice - however, if she didnt say anything to her son (which only her and her son know for sure) then she didn't handle it right.
I hope your DD is okay. Poor thing!!
Wife of 20 years to my superhero firefighting DH. SAHM to 2 boys and 2 girls (3 babies in Heaven- Baby # 5 5/2010 & Baby #6 8/2011 & Baby # 7 2/1013). Cancer Survivor 2011 ( Persistent Malignant Gestational Trophoblastic Disease)
I took my son out of piano lessons because he couldn't be quiet and sit still while it was his sister's turn. He wasn't being punished, in fact I signed him up for a martial arts class (a much better fit). He wasn't being bad, he was being quiet normal (I think, anyway!). But his behavior was not appropriate for the setting and he was not capable of modifying his behavior. It wasn't fair to him or his sister.
Anyway. Maybe the other mom was shocked. I was like that mom when my kids were little. Kind of socially clueless. It took me a couple times of my kid grabbing a toy or stepping on toes for me to realize I needed to DO something about it, at least to reassure the other parent that I was on it.
If the boys get rowdy like that again I would speak to the mom immediately, before there's a repeat performance. I can't imagine she'd object, but if she does you just point out that her son injured your daughter and made her bleed.
I know what you mean when you say she was crying like she was really hurt...I HATE that hurt cry, it is the stuff of nightmares...it's just the crummiest feeling, when they are hurt like that.
She did not handle this properly...you DID. I'm sorry this happened to your baby girl...ughhh. A bloody nose and everything...that's awful!
Me and DH ...lovin' DD (6/08) and DS (11/09) Plus NEW BABY!! DD (UC-5/12) We Water Birth/Homebirth/No Vax or Circ/BF/BW/Country Livin'!
|When she left my DD was in my arms crying and she said something about her being tired. Umm okkk that is why she is crying because she is tired (it was 11:15 am!) We'll see what happens next week.|
You handled the situation well, but if something like that were to happen again, I'd be pulling her aside after the class and having a chat about her not being "involved". It's one thing to have a high strung child, and another to have one who hurts others, and not be willing to apologize for the behavior.
Momma to K ('01), E ('03) and A ('07)
Proud Gestational Surrogate to N (15/01/15)
Except that I try to apologize profusely and regularly when my kids do out of control things, and avoid situations. But I do miss things. I took an art class with the boys, but they weren't really ready for it. Ds2 threw a pencil across the table of toddlers and parents. I was sitting right next to him and was trying to give ds1 a little bit of help, and he just chucked it.
Anyway, I sympathize with the mom, but don't think she handled it appropriately either. And I don't think you're overreacting. Poor kid!
Mommy to kids
and no, the other mother did not handle the situation well. Ignoring your daughter like that, when it was her own little one who caused the 'incident', was not demonstrating compassion, empathy or respect. She is showing her child that he doesn't need to help others and that physical force is OK (no appologies necessary..).
In fact, the more I think about it, the more this saddens me. It would be nice if we could all expect positive parenting but unfortunetely I'm usually quite surprised when I see it
(you did awesome though! your daughter needed you and you were right there for her. I'm sure the whole experience taught her a lil something about how dependable/loving you are )
-unfortunately often when someone is like that they can be seen as rude when they are truly incapable of appropriate social skills, and need social skills classes to improve in that area but don't realize that is what is going on because it was never diagnosed as a child and so now they are just seen as "rude")
It sounds like you handled it well. I doubt that saying something to her would have made much of a difference, unfortunately. Hopefully the teacher was aware of what was happening & can talk to the mom if her kids require more supervision during class.