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Old 06-02-2009, 04:29 PM
 
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The rule in our house is that if you are capable of messing it up, you are capable of cleaning it up. The dishes are on a rotating schedule. 2 kids put it away together one day, another 2 the next day. One does the top rack, the other the bottom rack. Now, its not done how *I* would do it but I have learned to let it go.

Fairymom - my 5 yr old the other day volunteered to do the dishes when I asked whose turn it was. And he did a pretty good job too.

Dh is pretty good about helping out. He knows how hard it is. But if the need isn't immediate I hope its not something important cause he will forget to do it. There is a crock pot sitting there and has been for days with spaghetti in it cause dh said he would take care of it and forgot. And I refuse to do it cause I want him to realize he forgot AGAIN. Hes really really bad about saying he will do something and then forgetting to do it.

Expecting #9.  Always busy hsing.
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Old 06-02-2009, 05:30 PM
 
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Maggie I wish I was closer! I would come over everyday and help you out. Is there anyone near you who can come and help? I bet a few local to you MDC mamas would be willing.

Its busy here but not much to say so back to lurking.

Allison wife and mom to four. 

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Old 06-02-2009, 05:45 PM
 
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Thanks. Sorry about the vent again

We are moving in 2 weeks and women from our church are coming to help me unpack (or rather to have me sit there and direct them where to put things). The packing DH and a friend of his have down. They seem to actually enjoy it.

I'm thankful the women at church are so willing to help and I should ask for more but I hate being a burden. To me it just seems like my mother is right there and has nothing else to do but sleep all day so I have no problem asking her, ykwim?

Thanks again

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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Old 06-02-2009, 06:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
I should ask for more but I hate being a burden.
I'm sure the ladies from church don't see you as a burden! They probably see a woman being overtaken by a belly who has other little ones and a lot that needs doing.

You need help now and you have people who are willing to be there for you. When you are feeling stronger and you are able to, you will be there for them. It all goes around and sometimes you have to remind yourself that you really DO need help!
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Old 06-02-2009, 10:22 PM
 
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Will be back shortly.

Moved into the new house. Mostly unpacked.

having a baby who prefers his bottles from daddy rather than straight from the tap from mom issues

Michelle: wife to J, mom to M (2001), E (2003), C (2005), S (2007) and O! (2009) And someone new in 2011!
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Old 06-02-2009, 10:24 PM
 
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: on the move! Sorry about the BF issues

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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Old 06-03-2009, 04:43 AM
 
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Michelle. Happy house, good luck getting the baby back to the boobie!

Maggie. Take the help. Sometimes the kindness of strangers is necessary to get you back to believing in human nature. As someone who survives depression, I'm pretty sure that if your mum isn't doing more, it's because right now she can't- be gentle with her, please.
Orangefoot, I'm in for the commune.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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Old 06-03-2009, 02:07 PM
 
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There is a long long long history of this sort of thing with my mom not taking care of her responsibilities. She is very toxic. We need her out of our lives. It just goes to show how desperate we are that we were asking her for help. I feel like a total idiot for asking and for allowing her in our lives for as long as we have. This pregnancy just has me very depleted and very worried.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So we are moving in a few weeks and the closets in this place a very tiny! We have 3 girls sharing a room and the twins in the other. Our closets now are twice the size of the closets where we are going and the girl's current closet hardly holds their stuff. Any suggestions? I really do want to downsize but there is only so much we can do with 3 kids sharing a closet.

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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Old 06-03-2009, 04:07 PM
 
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So we are moving in a few weeks and the closets in this place a very tiny! We have 3 girls sharing a room and the twins in the other. Our closets now are twice the size of the closets where we are going and the girl's current closet hardly holds their stuff. Any suggestions? I really do want to downsize but there is only so much we can do with 3 kids sharing a closet.
Same thing happened with us. We have started using under the bed storage.

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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Old 06-03-2009, 04:16 PM
 
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Same thing happened with us. We have started using under the bed storage.
I was so excited thinking "that'll work!" and then I realized they have a trundle underneath their bed. We pull it out and make the twin a king sized bed for all 3 to sleep on. It's a really small room which is another issue. I'm not entirely sure we could fit a dresser in there if we came across one.

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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Old 06-03-2009, 04:19 PM
 
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I was so excited thinking "that'll work!" and then I realized they have a trundle underneath their bed. We pull it out and make the twin a king sized bed for all 3 to sleep on. It's a really small room which is another issue. I'm not entirely sure we could fit a dresser in there if we came across one.
My husband also made shelving for the closet.

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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Old 06-03-2009, 04:20 PM
 
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My husband also made shelving for the closet.
Now this is doable. Can't believe we didn't think of it as DH worked in cabinetry for a few years. : Did you do it beneath where the clothes were hung or throughout the whole thing?

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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Old 06-03-2009, 04:25 PM
 
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Now this is doable. Can't believe we didn't think of it as DH worked in cabinetry for a few years. : Did you do it beneath where the clothes were hung or throughout the whole thing?
The ceiling is very high, so we did it above. He made 1 shelf that is waist level. We stored some things on the floor of the closet. Our shoes are stored in the hallway on a shoe rack.

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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Old 06-03-2009, 05:13 PM
 
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OMG!!! So its not just mine? I really thought it was!! The only reason Im not freaking out over teh two year old doing this is I remember my four year old did the same thing and eventually grew out of it. Not before he ruined a lot of stuff though. Seirously, he peed in cups, bowls, glasses, toys...you know the ride on toys that have seats that lift up for storage? Yep, in there. One time he left a bowl full of pee outside my oldest sons bedroom door. Hm? We never figured out what he was trying to say!!

He still pees outside a lot.
Oh that reminds me that once when my brother was 4 or so he had to pee in the car. My mom's coast was in the back seat so he peed in the pocket. Man was she PISSED. So your telling me I have stuff like this to look forward too?
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Old 06-03-2009, 05:20 PM
 
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Maggie, just went up and read about the DH, the mom, the kids and the bedrest.. s I hope things get better soon. If the ladies from church are willing to help, I would take them up on that... other than that.. can you maybe hire someone to help for a few hours a day? a few hours a week? I don't know what your DH does for work, but maybe he can work out some sort of trade?
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Old 06-03-2009, 09:27 PM
 
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I'm sure the ladies from church don't see you as a burden! They probably see a woman being overtaken by a belly who has other little ones and a lot that needs doing.


And on the closet issue. I have all three younger kids clothes in one small closet and a dresser. Each kid gets one drawer in the dresser. To make it work I sorted/decluttered everything. We went down to only a handful of clothing each person and I am loving the laundry situation now. The rest of the clothing that fits went into a storage tote to be brought out as other things are worn out, stained (beyond wear), or outgrown. I blogged about it on the second blog link in my signature. Don't know if you could do that when you are not supposed to be up and around.

Allison wife and mom to four. 

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Old 06-09-2009, 02:27 AM
 
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Hi all. Newly pregnant with #5 and really needing a place to chat with others. Feeling like I've crossed the line into the land of the "crazies" now.

At the risk of sounding ungrateful, I'm a bit lukewarm on the pregnancy. Had other plans, and was really looking forward to doing some things for ME.

I love being pregnant, and we had planned on at least 6 anyway.....I was just hoping for a bit of a break, I think.

Anyway, don't want to be too much of a bummer, especially as I'm introducing myself!

So, HI!

Kat

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Old 06-09-2009, 03:17 AM
 
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WARNING!! really unhappy down right depressed pregnant woman vent coming...




But then there are those of us who can cry scream demand ask as sweet as pie all we want and we still don't get the help we need. :

I am pregnant with twins and on bedrest. My mother who lives in the same apartment complex, doesn't work, has no other responsibility (she wouldn't acknowledge responsibility if it was Godzilla tearing her limb from limb) and has always used us when she needed a place to stay, food, money, etc won't lift a finger to help me. My husband is clueless. It's not that he doesn't want to help he just does not get how much has to be done. He thinks "what I put in a load of laundry isn't that good enough?" uh, no. I'm just sick of my house and my kids being absolutely filthy. I have realized this pregnancy how really alone I am and I am just not happy at all. I have been such a bad mom with such a short temper. I snap at my kids all the time. My doc is on me to get off my feet but I have already cut way back simply because of the pain and exaustian and I just have to deal with it. I am down to doing what I HAVE to and I do have to do it. I have to chase the little ones when they get the front door open, I have to feed them, change them, come when they break yet something else, etc etc. And trust me I have screamed and cussed and cried and begged and nothing. Nada. DH still doesn't get it and my mom still doesn't care.

This morning I woke up at 5am after yet another night of hardly being able to sleep and my stomach was hurting so bad I had to hold it up even in bed- it felt like some invisible thing was trying to rip it off my body. I feel realy yucky and shakey and can't even eat. And of course my DH is at work, mom is doing whatever else, and my kids are in brat ( mode. All I relaly want to do is sit here and cry and I can't even muster the energy to do that. Yeah I know, I sound pathetic and wah wah wah. Sorry. DH called and wanted to know why I am being so snippy with him and I wanted to blow up "hello! I have asked you so many times to do at least a few loads of laundry because we have nothing to wear and I trip over the dirty laundry all day and you haven't. The dishes are piling up. The trash is overflowing. You, yet again, didn't give the kids enough to eat before you left and you didn't dress them. But yes forgive me for being snippy!"

Ok sorry for that vent! I do get what you are saying. I have to blow a fuse just to get the trash taken out. It's ridiculous after all we do.
Im sorry your having such a rough time! I have the same sort of issues with my mother. She lives very close, but still says she'd come over if we "didnt live so far away" (seirously, we are 20 min away thats it). I cant ask her for help or shell just tell me that she told me not to have all those kids, see, she knew I couldnt handle it, I should have listened to her, now Ive made my bed and I have to lie it etc etc blah blah blah!

Oh and after my third child I had postpartum depression but I swear to you , it started while I was still pregnant and I had a lot of the same issues at the time, feeling like I got no help, being overwhelmed etc. Just take the best care of yourself that you can and let go as much as you can. I promise, eventually you'll get back to the clean house but for now, just let it go! If only we could all afford maids!!

Orangefoot was right, raisng kids with men is stupid! Seriously, when my best friend and I were roommates, wtih three kids between us, the cooperation was amazing, and we both felt we got way more support and help from each other than we ever had with our exes!!

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Will be back shortly.

Moved into the new house. Mostly unpacked.

having a baby who prefers his bottles from daddy rather than straight from the tap from mom issues
My youngest is like that!

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Now this is doable. Can't believe we didn't think of it as DH worked in cabinetry for a few years. : Did you do it beneath where the clothes were hung or throughout the whole thing?
can you put the offseason stuff in those bags that you use to vaccumcleaner to compress to like next to nothing? Talk about space savers!! I want some of those!!!!

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Oh that reminds me that once when my brother was 4 or so he had to pee in the car. My mom's coast was in the back seat so he peed in the pocket. Man was she PISSED. So your telling me I have stuff like this to look forward too?
ROTF! Maybe!

~Me, mama to soapbox boy (1991), photo girl (1997), gadget girl (2003), jungle boy (2005), fan boy (2003) and twirly girl (2011). Twenty years of tree hugging, breastfeeding, cosleeping, unschooling, craziness
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Old 06-09-2009, 03:19 AM
 
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Hi all. Newly pregnant with #5 and really needing a place to chat with others. Feeling like I've crossed the line into the land of the "crazies" now.

At the risk of sounding ungrateful, I'm a bit lukewarm on the pregnancy. Had other plans, and was really looking forward to doing some things for ME.

I love being pregnant, and we had planned on at least 6 anyway.....I was just hoping for a bit of a break, I think.

Anyway, don't want to be too much of a bummer, especially as I'm introducing myself!

So, HI!

Kat
WELCOME!!!:::::::: :

Dont worry about being a bummer, we all have those moments!!!

Does anyone but me ever think, that as much as I love them like crazy, I should have spaced them out further? While there are up sides to them being close, there are also down sides, including that it takes an almost superhuman amount of energy to keep up with them!!

~Me, mama to soapbox boy (1991), photo girl (1997), gadget girl (2003), jungle boy (2005), fan boy (2003) and twirly girl (2011). Twenty years of tree hugging, breastfeeding, cosleeping, unschooling, craziness
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Old 06-09-2009, 04:33 AM
 
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Kat!!!! I was just thinking about you the other day, and wondering how you were doing! Welcome to the Feb08 Pregnancy Explosion!- it's all Dea's fault, I'm convinced of it.
Anyhow, I'm in the same boat, but 12 weeks pregnant and calming down a bit- if you want to vent, I'm here to listen. I was at the point of going back to university to train as a nurse, then eventually a midwife, so this really threw me.

Anglyn, I'm more scared of having three under five than I am of having five kids. Everyone I know who has that kind of spacing has that kind of look that lets you know they need a break- you know the one?

We started tying privileges like being able to play out and use the TV and computer to not being complete slobs for the boys yesterday- they don't get the good stuff until they do their jobs. I really hope it works- I'm fed up of flushing toilets after big boys.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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Old 06-09-2009, 01:04 PM
 
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Thanks for the welcome, ladies. And I've actually been thinking about you too, Helen. I had read on your blog that you were expecting again. Congratulations.

Yes, I had been planning a trip out of the country to do a midwifery intensive. I just have to keep reminding myself there is plenty of time. And having my own babies teaches me something also, right?

I'm planning on hiring a midwife this time, not sure she'll make it to my house in time if I go as quickly as before, but it'll be nice to have someone to check in with.

Kat

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Old 06-09-2009, 01:35 PM
 
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Anglyn~ We already vacuum seal the out of season clothes. We just have lots! We need to get rid of some for sure.

Kat~ Welcome and Congrats!!!! :

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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Old 06-09-2009, 01:41 PM
 
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Welcome Kat - we aren't all crazies but it depends which day you catch us on!!

Feel free to moan a bit here. IRL people think you are bonkers anyway so have no sympathy if you complain a little bit or wonder how you're going to manage.

Anglyn, I misread you and thought you had written 'spawned them out a bit further' I had a fleeting vision of mine all standing in different ponds. It would be very quiet at home.

Sorry to get back to the cleaning cr*p again but I set off to work last night f-ing and fuming because I hadn't been able to find the keys to lock up the library I work at. No time for dinner before I went out and the place is such a tip you can't see anything you are looking for. I'd have thought that the ranting would have produced a massive panic tidy while I was out. Nope. I want to leave home and live in a tent.
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Old 06-09-2009, 01:53 PM
 
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I'm more scared of having three under five than I am of having five kids. Everyone I know who has that kind of spacing has that kind of look that lets you know they need a break- you know the one?
I've got three under five, plus a five and a ten-year-old. It's kind of insane most days, I won't sugarcoat it. But I know you can do it. Just take it one day at a time, okay? You'll find a new normal and you'll realize there is more joy than there is insanity (at least, most of the time) and there is just something about the crazy pitter-patter of 4 sets of feet running down the hall to see who can be first to hug mom and baby brother first thing in the morning.
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Old 06-09-2009, 02:03 PM
 
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: Mind if I pop in a bit? I'm not exactly a mom of many, but these days I'm occassionally so. 3 of my DSC will be here this summer, making it a house of 4 kids and so I guess that qualifies me.

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Old 06-10-2009, 10:41 AM
 
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My 1st 2 are 14 mnths apart then the rest are spaced 3-4 yrs apart. Just when they are starting to be independent and starting to look at schools another comes along.It has some + and -, they all are usaully old enough to help in some way or another and I get more alone time with the little(s). But at this point my oldest will be 33 when the baby is 18.I could be a grandma before all mine are out of the house! 10 years from now I'll have 4 gone and two at home just starting the teen years. When the first 3 were young I did have 3 at and under 5. It was crazy but I feel like it was so much easier than now (somedays).

This last pg I was super hormonal and crazy- still have my days at 9 wks pp. I swear DH wants no more because he had to live w/me (it's his 1st pg/lo so had no experience w/what it would be like). I think I am battling ppd- I don't want to say suffering because its not too bad and most of the time I can push it away.And my depression is more anger than sadness.YKWIM?

orangefoot- can I come live w/you in that tent? I so know what you mean- there have been plenty of days lately where I've told DH I am running away w/the baby.And that school's out for summer I know it will only get worse- if I don't find something for us to do.
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Old 06-13-2009, 04:33 PM
 
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Howdy, all! I'm a mom of three with one on the way. I love all my IRL friends, but they all have one or two kids and think I am nuts for having four. Honestly, I'm excited. I was nervous at first, but as the birth gets closer, I am really more and more happy about it.

Ours are spaced 3-4yrs apart which I feel is almost perfect. The oldest is sweet as pie and extremely helpful. It is DS2 that makes me crazy, but the oldest was like that at his age, so I am hoping he will start to mellow out in the next year. DD3 is entering the terrible threes phase, but it is still NOTHING compared to what the boys were like, so I feel like I am coping fine.

The only thing I am nervous about: I am having another boy! I was kind of hoping for a girl, . I didn't believe anyone until I had one, but she really is easier! Of course, she isn't pubescent yet.......

What I am tired of is how many people freely give me their opinions on how many kids I have. We live in an urban city, upper middle class neighborhood, most families have only children and are older themselves. They give me the look when they realize how many kids I have. I get the "are they all yours?" thing as well as the "going for a tv show?" thing, and I am too pregnant to be polite and usually say something snarky in return

I am also adjusting to SAHM life, since I have always worked, but with this many kids DH and I realized we really needed someone to be the Home Executive and Bookkeeper, if you know what I mean! And I have to brag on my DH because he is the awesomest dad and partner ever and I would never dream of having this many kids if it weren't for him helping with the load. That man is my best friend, and I would have ten kids with him if I didn't know any better!!! I have been a single mom (with the oldest two after I left their dad) and it was way harder than having a lot of kids -- having an active partner makes all the difference in the world.

Ok, enough on me and being all cheerful for now because you know I will be back tomorrow with a snark or a rant about how fed up I am with DS2 or my dishes/laundry drama or whatever!!!

Mom to : DS1 (11), DS2 (8), DD3 (4), : DS4 (1), and : : :
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Old 06-13-2009, 07:29 PM
 
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WELCOME!!!:::::::: :

Dont worry about being a bummer, we all have those moments!!!

Does anyone but me ever think, that as much as I love them like crazy, I should have spaced them out further? While there are up sides to them being close, there are also down sides, including that it takes an almost superhuman amount of energy to keep up with them!!
You took the words right out of my mouth!!!

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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Old 06-13-2009, 07:30 PM
 
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"going for a tv show?"
Wha?????!!!!! Oh my gosh that just made my blood boil. You have 3 kids and are just about to add ONE more! GIVE ME A BREAK! It's not like you have 20 and if you did who the heck cares? Wowza!!

Sorry my pregnancy hormones are making me leap out of my skin on your behalf.

"Home Executive and Bookkeeper" love it! :

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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Old 06-13-2009, 07:33 PM
 
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re: spacing- part of me feels like a real idiot for our spacing but you know I also am glad it is over and we have gotten it out of the way! I know that sounds terrible but I absolutely HATE HATE HATE being pregnant. Hate it. I'm glad it was bam bam bam and now we're done (or almost. Still have to birth these 2).

But yeah it'd be real nice if #2 and #3 would potty learn :

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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