I'm not sure where else to put this so forgive me if it doesn't belong here.
My husband deployed about 2 weeks before my DD was born, she's now two weeks old. My 20 months old DS is not transitioning well to say the least. Prior to the upheaval, he was fairly agreeable and cooperative during the day, he went to bed by himself at night and naps were not an issue. Now we are constantly at odds with each other and everything is a struggle. I do my best to keep him busy and give him attention while juggling a newborn, but needless to say it isn't easy. I know he's attention starved and its showing.
I babywear for the majority of the day but its hard when I need to shower and get dressed or I'm changing my toddler's diaper and he's kicking me, for example. I had help for the first week and even then he was a handful for my MIL and I. Most people do not want to take care of him for any length of time because he's exhausting to them, so finding outside help is difficult. He's always been high energy and has some sensory issues, all of it has been compounded by these two huge life changing events. I'm really having a hard time figuring out how to give myself equally to both children without sacrificing my own needs, how I can still be an AP/GD parent when I only have one set of hands for two little ones. I'd appreciate any advice on how to get all of us through this.