video games... - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 12:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
benj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: arizona
Posts: 278
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
do you allow your kids to play them? if so, how do you moderate that?

my kids are too young to play them now. however, i honestly think they are too expensive and a waste of time and i definitely don't enjoy them. i don't necessarily want them in my house. (although we do have a ps2 that we use as a dvd player ) a lot of people criticize us that we don't want to let our children play them as they get older. should we just give in?

two amazing sons & .
benj is offline  
#2 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 12:41 AM
 
mormontreehugger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Monterey, CA
Posts: 318
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
disclaimer: I'm still pg with #1, so I have no children running around.

There is absolutely NO reason that you HAVE to let them play video games. Read through some of the threads on this and other parenting forums and you see a lot of "How do I get my kids/DH/whoever to cut down on video games/TV/internet? It's sucking up family time"

Video games are addictive and potentially harmful--depending on your family values, they could bring elements into your home that you do not want there, as well as the much increased potential for chronic couch potato syndrome. I saw a LOT of childhood friends (grew up in the 90's) who went from being happy and active and imaginative to overweight, unhappy people who didn't know what to do with themselves without a controller in hand.
DH plays video games during down time, but he's usually pretty good about self-regulation and he'll listen to me when I tell him he's been on for too long or whatever. He'll tell me the same thing about being on the computer for too long.

Buy books instead! Or puzzles! Or paint! Or crayons! Or matchbox cars! And if anyone asks you how your kids will learn anything without some educational video game, I would honestly just laugh and laugh and ask if they were serious.
mormontreehugger is offline  
#3 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 12:53 AM
 
Krisis's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,135
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I go back and forth on this. My brother is severely addicted to video games, to the point where I honestly wonder if he'll be able to function as a normal human once he leaves my parents house - if he leaves. It's honestly scary, and to me it's just sick. I don't understand how my mom and dad could let him get That Bad.

I like playing the Wii, and Rock Band is fun. But I don't think we'll ever have a game where it's a 1 person thing. If we do video games at all, it's going to be a rule that you have to be playing with another person, and only for a limited amount of time. None of this come home from school, immediately turn on the game and be up till 4 in the morning every night like my brother.

Oh, and no war/shoot 'em up games will be another rule. I hate those types of games and think it's awful that wars and violence are glorified in them. Those Call of Duty games are horrible. And don't get me started on the "rated M for mature" games. Ugh. I really have a hard time with taking violence or sex and turning it into a "game."

Kris - married to Nate since 12/06, mom to Toby since 1/08. Also servant to two felines. Done having babies for medical reasons.

Krisis is offline  
#4 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 01:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
benj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: arizona
Posts: 278
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i just don't want my kids' brains turning into mush.

i mean, if we went out somewhere or went to someone elses' house i would allow them to play for a time. i just don't want it in my house. at all. i don't see the necessity. however, a lot of people want us to cave in...(not that it's any of their business )

two amazing sons & .
benj is offline  
#5 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 01:25 AM
 
Devaskyla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: in my great new home
Posts: 4,693
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I let my kids play video games & I don't really moderate them. There's a few daddy plays that the kids aren't allowed to, but that's it. We're a gaming family, though. DH & I both play & so do the kids.

mom to all boys B: 08/01ribboncesarean.gif,  C: 07/05 uc.jpg, N: 03/09 uc.jpg, M: 01/12 uc.jpg and far too many lost onesintactlact.gifsaynovax.gif

Devaskyla is offline  
#6 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 01:27 AM
 
Super Pickle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,710
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have 8 and 6 yo boys and an infant daughter. We own video game systems because my husband likes to play VG and bought them for himself. My sons are allowed to play games like Zelda on Saturday mornings and after dinner on Saturday nights. No other time during the week are they allowed to play.

If it had been up to me, we never would have had the things in the house. I would urge any parents out there not to buy them just because "everybody else" has them or because somebody says you're depriving your kids. You are not depriving your kids and you are not going to make them social outcasts simply because they do not own VGs.

We have the games because of my husband, as I said before. He doesn't think they're harmful to the kids, or he isn't willing to part with them for the kids' sake. However, I believe they have been a negative influence in our family. Having the "Saturdays only" rule helps a lot, because then they are not thinking about it the rest of the week, but they really can be addictive and it is HARD to stay firm on time limits.

Save yourself a lot of headaches and forget the VG, is my advice.
Super Pickle is offline  
#7 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 01:29 AM
 
Storm Bride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 27,300
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My oldest has video games. My ex was hooked on them, and he had them in the house, so ds1 started playing them. DS1 has never let them push out all his other activities - except for a couple days when he gets a new game - so I don't let it stress me very much. If he's playing a video game, and a friend wants him to come out and toss a frisbee or practice gymnastics, he does that. He'll drop the game controller to hang out with a friend outside or even to play with his younger siblings. He's still at least as likely to pick up a pencil and sketch, or pick up his juggling gear, as he is to play a video game. So...not a huge deal here. We do have to kick him off the games to do chores or homework sometimes...but we also have to tell him to put down his guitar, get off the phone, stop his living room workout, put away his juggling clubs, etc. etc.

We haven't really enforced any time limits for a long time, because he self-regulates pretty well. His consoles are also hooked up to the only tv, so he can't play if the family is watching a movie, or if I'm practicing for choir (I run my practice CD through the DVD player). So, there are a lot of built-in controls.

That said...they're certainly not necessary, in any way. I can't imagine why anyone would criticize someone for not having them. I've seen a lot of ds1's friends get seriously sucked into the games (like come home and play them until bedtime, with a short break for dinner), and they do make me a little nervous. I'm sure we'd change things if they became a problem for ds1.

I don't get why people are so invested in what other people have in place in the way of rules.

One thing that makes me sad is thinking back to when ds1 was little. I can remember coming home from work on a really nice day, and ds1, my nephew (my sister was his babysitter), and 3 of their friends were in my nephew's room. DS1 and my nephew were playing a game, and the other 3 were just watching. I asked ds1 if he and his friends wanted to go to the park, and all 5 of them jumped up and practically cheered. They didn't even really want to play the video game...they'd been chased off into the bedroom and didn't really have anything else to do. We walked to the park, and they spent about an hour and a half playing physically and showing off their skills for me. When I got back, my sister and the other moms told me they really appreciated me taking the kids, and that I was "crazy" to do it. *sigh*

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

Storm Bride is offline  
#8 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 01:35 AM
 
CheapPearls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas.
Posts: 739
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Both my husband and I consider ourselves gamers. The kids see us play so naturally they want to play too. My oldest (5) plays on my Nintendo SP (It's a small handheld, like Gameboy). I have good kid games like Kirby and Sypro. He really likes Kirby and has gotten quite good at it. We're talking about buying games for my old N64 that has been sitting in the garage for the kids to play on.

I want them to self regulate, showing by example, but I think that's a few years off. Right now we have a system where they earn tv/computer/game time through simple chores and just general good behavior. I've been a bit more lax the last few weeks but should be back on board after our move at the end of the month.


We know a couple TV free families so video game free families aren't too strange. I don't think you can 100% keep them from it but I don't think they are necessary to have in the house. I don't get why anyone really cares what you do in regards to time wasters like video games.
CheapPearls is offline  
#9 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 01:43 AM
 
Momma Moo Martin's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Southern Illinois
Posts: 400
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My family has a Wii and an XBox. We all game together sometimes after dinner for a little bit or on Saturdays. We play Wii Sport games like tennis and the LEGO games and "Are you Smarter than a 5th grader?" on the XBox. I really love that we spend time together like this! We have a great time and the boys (7 and 5 years old) actually learn things and foster interests in other things. For example, the 5 year old started playing Wii tennis and now is fascinated by the game and wants to play himself - I wouldn't have thought to introduce him to this game at this age but he really enjoys it. In our house, we simply set time limits but I have friends who give their kids a certain amount of "Family Dollars" when they complete their chores and then the kids can trade in their money for VG time - just an idea. With all that being said, I think VGs are just an individual thing for each family. Good Luck!

Momma to my beautiful blessing pinktongue.gif (Nov '08) and two Spirit babies angel3.gif (Dec '09) and angel2.gif (July '10)
 
 
 
 
Momma Moo Martin is offline  
#10 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 09:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
benj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: arizona
Posts: 278
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Super Pickle View Post
If it had been up to me, we never would have had the things in the house. I would urge any parents out there not to buy them just because "everybody else" has them or because somebody says you're depriving your kids. You are not depriving your kids and you are not going to make them social outcasts simply because they do not own VGs.
i don't think that they are "harmful." i would just rather have my kids doing different things. and i know how kids get with games, they are very addictive.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CheapPearls View Post
We know a couple TV free families so video game free families aren't too strange. I don't think you can 100% keep them from it but I don't think they are necessary to have in the house. I don't get why anyone really cares what you do in regards to time wasters like video games.
we don't mind the tv too much. we will let my son watch a few select shows and let him watch movies. i don't have anything against watching tv, just that i don't want them asking for the toys on commercials...like my niece and nephews do, it's irritating.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
That said...they're certainly not necessary, in any way. I can't imagine why anyone would criticize someone for not having them. I've seen a lot of ds1's friends get seriously sucked into the games (like come home and play them until bedtime, with a short break for dinner), and they do make me a little nervous. I'm sure we'd change things if they became a problem for ds1.
they will say things like what happens when they can't go outside and they are really bored...and make up all these wild scenarios that try to make games the solution that would never happen. i also don't want to invest in an electronic baby-sitter.

two amazing sons & .
benj is offline  
#11 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 09:54 AM
 
NinaBruja's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: lawrence kansas represent!
Posts: 2,263
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
were a gamer family here too.

i love it, its a way we bond. my oldest is pretty good at mariokart and she has been bonding with her stepdad by watching him play his old favourites. i think its really adorable when she comes and tells me what happened in the game and how she and dp enjoyed thier time together. he reads the dialogue to her and explains stuff and she tells him where to go and he lets her try to figure out puzzles herself. it really is heartwarming to watch(especially when she falls asleep on his lap)
my youngest likes to get an unplugged controller and pretend to play. which is also AFREAKINGDORABLE
despite having constant access to gaming they play very little... other things are just alot more exciting to a 5 and 3 year old. like wood blocks and dolls and chasing the cats.

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

NinaBruja is offline  
#12 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 09:56 AM
 
mistymama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,964
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it's a very personal choice, and you will find many different opinions here. I think you just need to find the right balance for your family. Everything in moderation.

We enjoy video games on occasion. We have an xbox 360 and a wii. Dh is more into the xbox (although he only plays maybe once a week) because he can play ncaa football. Ds and I really like the wii - and the wii is also more of a family game, like we will all bowl together on friday nights or play a board game on there. It's fun, active and I don't see a thing wrong with it.

During the week it's more limited. Sure, ds can play the systems if he wants to - but to be honest, most days he's too busy playing outside with friends to bother. And now that it's summer he's doing science camp then most days we swim - there isn't really time for video games once we get back home. So I don't find limiting them to be a problem for us, at all.

Candacepeace.gif, Married to dh   guitar.gif, Mom to ds (8) biggrinbounce.gif , Gavin candle.gif (9/30/10 - 12/19/10) and cautiously expecting our rainbow1284.gif 4-29-12

mistymama is offline  
#13 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 10:06 AM
 
NinaBruja's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: lawrence kansas represent!
Posts: 2,263
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by benj View Post
i don't want them asking for the toys on commercials...like my niece and nephews do, it's irritating.
my oldest used to do that alot until i started telling her the commercials were designed to sell her something and i know it looks really fun but sometimes toys arent made well and break or become boring. i asked her to think about it and if later, long after the commercial was off, if she still thought she would like whatever it was we could try to find it used or on ebay or something.

it only took a few weeks if that of repeating and i rarely if ever hear asking for toys when watching tv. and her sister seems to have realized the drill because i usually hear toy requests when the tv is off or were just hanging out together.

actually i think it worked too much because when i ask her what she wants for her birthday she cant think of anything and once i took her to a huge toy store because i had extra money and wanted to get her something fun. she played with everything then decided she didnt want anything, but she did want to go home. :

she is a strangely logical girl though so ymmv

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

NinaBruja is offline  
#14 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 10:11 AM
 
Mama Mko's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Under the Stars
Posts: 1,519
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I let my son (he is 4) play video games. My husband and I both play video games. As long as we're not just sitting all day playing, I have no problem with it. I don't really restrict the amount of time he plays. I make sure we get outside to play several times a day and we read books together and do activities.

Live and love with your whole being.
Mama Mko is offline  
#15 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 10:12 AM
 
BunniMummi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 299
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Devaskyla View Post
I let my kids play video games & I don't really moderate them. There's a few daddy plays that the kids aren't allowed to, but that's it. We're a gaming family, though. DH & I both play & so do the kids.
Us too more or less. I don't let DS1 play all day every day but I don't stress over it too much either. He was 2 when he started "for real", one day I realized that he wasn't just pressing buttons to watch what happened but had actually completed some objectives. : DS2 doesn't seem to care as much but he is getting more interested these days and pulls up a spare controller to pretend he is playing too.

The kids don't get to play everything we do (nor do we play everything with them around) but excluding them from the computer or console would be strange for us. Were we not gamers already I would probably not invest in them just for the kids, not at this age anyway.

SAHM, Geek, Expat American living in Oslo Norway.
DH DS1(5) DS2(2)
BunniMummi is offline  
#16 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 10:15 AM
 
nolansmummy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,406
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a gaming dh so we have a wii and a PS3. The wii is downstairs in the living/family room, and the PS3 is up in our bedroom.

Ds who is 5, is allowed to play on the weekend. He plays lego games: lego batman and lego starwars and indiana jones. The gaming is not really moderated, but if i feel he is playing non stop all day, i'll ask him to turn it off.
When he gets in trouble, video games is the first thing that gets taken away.

I hate video games, do not ever play them. I don't think they are necessary, but since DH plays, i have allowed them into our house. We discussed the rules before ds was even old enough to play. It has helped us a lot.

I think if you don't want to have them in your home, then don't. Your kids will not be outcasts. They are expensive, and a waste of money! Don't give in just because other people are pressuring you.

E Veg*n Mom to ds 6 : dd 3
nolansmummy is offline  
#17 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 10:42 AM
 
Theoretica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Inside my head (it's quiet here!)
Posts: 3,825
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Haven't read replies, but here's how we handle it.

We are tvfree, and we don't do video games for the Littles. At the same time, my 15yo son LOVES computer games. Now, he was raised without video games, he knows the issues about too much screen time etc.

For a kid that hasn't grown up 'hooked' on them though, he does a fantastic job with self management. He plays his games (MMORPGs) for a few hours, then he hops off and goes to play with his sisters for a bit, helps me with chores, whatever.

We've discussed with him the idea of imposing a cut off time at night, and he said if he feels like he's getting too into the game he'll let me know and we can do that. But so far, no problems. The computer is in his room, and we're not micromanaging it. I do trust him to let me know if its becoming a problem.

At the same time, I know people with 6 year olds who play video games for hours a day and scream bloody murder when they try and turn it off. I'm glad we waited until he had the maturity to handle it without any need for us to micromanage.

I think it's a smidge unfair to give a child a toy they can't self regulate, then put ourselves (as parents) in the position of 'taking it away' or whatever.

So, I guess I really think it's important to wait until they are mature enough to manage it themselves.

HTH
jaidymama likes this.

GOOD moms let their kids lick the beaters. GREAT moms turn off the mixer first!
Humanist Woman Wife , & Friend Plus Mama to 6 (3 mos, 2, 9, 13, 17, 20)
Theoretica is offline  
#18 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 10:53 AM
 
phathui5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Oregon
Posts: 17,474
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Ds1 started playing video games with dh when he was about five, if I remember correctly. It's something they enjoy doing together, so I try not to give them a hard time about it.

Dd isn't really into them. Ds2 (3yo) like playing skateboarding on the PS2 when ds1 and his friends are playing.

As far as time, ds1 gets about half an hour a day, sometimes more if he's playing with dh.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
phathui5 is offline  
#19 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 11:15 AM
 
Magali's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Molten Core
Posts: 2,333
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We are a gaming family too. We are intelligent people who have been playing video games since we were kids. By no means are our brains mushy . I don't think you should "give in" to video games just cause everybody else around you does, because if you feel strongly against them it is your call. Now back to WoW...

 caffix.gif

Magali is offline  
#20 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 11:41 AM
 
Alyantavid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 7,724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 7 year old plays video games and he self-moderates extremely well. I do watch his behavior and how much he plays and I will sometimes put a limit on how much time he spends playing. But right now, he spends much much more time playing outside so I don't mind a little video game time.
Alyantavid is offline  
#21 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 11:56 AM
 
Tigerchild's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Seattle Eastside
Posts: 5,006
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Gaming family here as well (all of us), I can guarantee you that our brains have not turned to mush.

Parents who are incapable of nuturing and developing their child's creativity and natural gifts are just as incapable even if they never have a console game in the house. Having grown up in an extremely strict sect of a certain religion (where console games or television was seen as satanic, and thus was not allowed), I've seen extremely uncreative people AND creative people result, console games or lack thereof doesn't have much to do with it.

I've seen kids throw tantrums and fuss when it's time for them to come inside from being outside all day. I guess their parents should say they can't play outside anymore, since they can't give up something fun without a fight when they're little. It's part of being a parent, to deal with some resistance at certain stages when kids need help transitioning.

Other people are going to tell you you "need" to do a lot of things. Weekends away when the kid is under a year old, spanking, latest doodad baby gaget, public/home schooling, blah blah blah. Really, so what? You're the parent, you decide. If other people don't like it, well tough bananas for them! No parent, not even mainstream, escapes having people telling them what they should be doing. I don't know why people are like that, but they sure seem to be!
Tigerchild is offline  
#22 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 12:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
benj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: arizona
Posts: 278
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ah well, i didn't mean to insult people that allowed games!

i don't enjoy them, and don't see a point to them. and my son gets frustrated very easily. also, when he has a task, he HAS to finish it no matter how upset he gets. i'm afraid that if he doesn't get his way on a game, he will keep trying until he wins.

i would rather them doing different things. plus games are expensive. i don't think games are dangerous or harmful, just unnecessary. i don't see the appeal.

two amazing sons & .
benj is offline  
#23 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 12:51 PM
 
just_lily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,187
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
For me, it is more about moderation, content, and age-appropriateness. I wouldn't want to ban them outright, because I don't want it to be a forbidden fruit situation. Plus DF would be sad, LOL.

I hope to hold off on games (and all computers and electronics really) as long as possible. Kids are such sponges in the early years I want them to experience as much real life as possible.

We got a Wii mainly because it seems to have the widest variety of family friendly games, and you have to do more than just sit on your butt and push buttons. We have great fun playing Guitar Hero, having friends over to play Mario Kart, and my dad LOVED Tiger Woods Golf when he was here for Christmas.

I think as long as it is age appropriate content and it doesn't take over the kid's life, it is fine. I don't see the need for any of the first person violent games for kids or teens. I don't have problems with cartoon violence a la Super Mario, but real blood and gore is unnecessary.

They are expensive for sure. But I think you can teach your kids to value what they have BECAUSE it is expensive. They may have 2 or 3 games instead of 15 or 20. If they really want a new game they have to save up the money themselves. That works for me.

Wife to DH (06/10) and Mummy to DD (07/08).

just_lily is offline  
#24 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 12:57 PM
 
mamazee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: US midwest
Posts: 7,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Children don't need video games and are not losing out without them. However, my dd does have a ds that is VERY useful for trips. And she has a game cube that gets limited use. If she were more interested in that kind of thing, I might worry about getting them, but she only uses them occasionally on trips or if the weather is bad, so in my house I have no problem with them. We've talked about getting a wii but it's a catch 22 - if she were more interested in video games it might be worth the expense, but if she were more interested I might be worried that if I bought one she'd sit and use it all the time. So for now we've decided it would be a waste of money as it wouldn't get used. The ds gets used primarily on trips and obviously the wii wouldn't be of any use for that.
mamazee is offline  
#25 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 01:06 PM
 
dubfam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: In My Urban Garden
Posts: 2,180
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I really like video games. I don't play them because I have so little free time, but when I was younger I could play for hours.

DS 1, who is 6, was obsessed with VG from the start. We didn't have a system and by 4 years old he was talking about VG almost non stop. He is sooo drawn to them for some reason. We got him a Wii right before he turned 5 because not allowing him to have any games at our house was making the obsession much worse. He would beg to go into Target so he could look at the games and play the demo. He would ask to go to certain people's houses ONLY because they had video games. He is much less game obsessed now.

BUT if he hadn't been so bizarrely over the top interested in video games there is NO WAY we would have a game system right now.

I think that trying to completely disallow VG is unrealistic. They are EVERYWHERE.
DH has 2 adult (early twenties) cousins who were complaining last Thanksgiving that their Mom never let them play video games. There was still a bit of resentment there...

I think the best solution to limiting the time is having certain days where the kids can play as much as they want, and other days that it doesn't get turned on at all. I try to get my son out and about as much as I can, and thankfully he is very active and social. He has many interests besides the video games. I never in a million years planned to get him a game system this young. In fact, I was adamantly against it.
dubfam is offline  
#26 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 01:12 PM
 
GuildJenn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 4,776
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm on the fence.

I've heard and read convincing arguments that many video games are way better than what I tend to think of as VGs (I grew up in the Atari 2600 era ☺) and encourage problem solving and strategy skills.

The author of one of them made a pretty funny case that when the printing press was invented the same things were said of the dangers of reading (especially novels, which were hugely suspect) as are said of video games now. That really got me thinking about whether I was allowing my prejudices to get in the way of real understanding of the issues.

So it's not all that helpful to me to ban all video games. It's the same reason we don't have broadcast TV but have been totally enjoying the BBC Earth DVDs. Some things are quality and some things are not.

I agree that they can be a huge time waster, but I also tend to not want to assume that they would take over. I think a lot of the "kids lying around playing video games" is because nothing else looks attractive. At my house we have ways of making other things look attractive, like offering to play catch with our son. I guess ultimately I believe we could impose time or day limits rather than a total ban if we had to.

On the social issue… I don't intend to raise my kid that "because everyone else is" is a good reason to do things. At the same time, if my son had a group of friends who were really into basketball, I would think it was natural for him to play that with them. I think there's a lot to be gained in listening to our kids about this stuff and deciding on a case-by-case, thoughtful basis. So if my son himself came to me and said it was important to him, I would listen to him about it.

Fourth is the violence issue. This is the tough one for me. I recently read about some parents who had allowed their son to play some ultra-violent war game – but they required that HE follow the Geneva convention in playing it. So they all sat down to read the Geneva convention rules and talk about why and all that. I thought that was incredibly cool and to me giving a child, particularly a boy, a chance to practice making decisions according to a set of ideals under (artificial) pressure like that is actually kind of amazing. That really changed my thinking.

So… right now we don't have any video games or a gaming console. But when my son starts to want one I think we'll just negotiate from there.

~ Mum to Emily, March 12-16 2004, Noah, born Aug 2005, Liam, born January 2011, and wife to Carl since 1994. ~
GuildJenn is offline  
#27 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 01:16 PM
 
Drummer's Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Land of Enchantment
Posts: 11,793
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
a couple months ago I would have said no, we don't have a gaming system so my kids don't play video games. But, we recently got a wii, and it is really cool and has turned out to be a good thing for our family. And this after going a year TV-free.

My oldest son (6 yrs) plays the wii the most, but the others (including myself) enjoy it, too. It has also been a good 'bonding' time for DH and DS. One weekend they spent many hours beating Paper Mario together, and I loved seeing how happy my kid was to spend time with just dad. I know, there are many other opportunities to bond, but it was something they worked on together. I may have been a bit annoyed b/c I had a hard time getting them to do anything else during that marathon (mostly DH, I wanted him to take us out to eat and had to bug him for a while), but looking back, it's not that big deal now because it's not like that all the time.

My kid isn't addicted or anything. He was perfectly fine going almost a week recently w/o playing when we had the TV moved to another area in the house, and didn't move the wii as well. I honestly, now, don't see the big deal to video games. But I suppose it depends on the game and the player.

I don't limit it as in, okay it's been an hr time so it's time to turn it off until the afternoon, kids... but I will often say hey, how about riding your bikes, or coloring, and they almost always jump at the suggestion to do something else. Plus, it's our only TV so if there is something on that another family member wants to watch, they are respectful in turning off (or pausing) the gaming system.

oh, I'm still AP and NFL and all that but DH is planning on hooking the wii up to our cars entertainment system for the long drive to california next month. I think it's going to be a good thing.

ribboncesarean.gif cesareans happen.
Drummer's Wife is offline  
#28 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 01:31 PM
 
confustication's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,336
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magali View Post
We are a gaming family too. We are intelligent people who have been playing video games since we were kids. By no means are our brains mushy . I don't think you should "give in" to video games just cause everybody else around you does, because if you feel strongly against them it is your call. Now back to WoW...
:

This is pretty much our experience as well- including the WoW!

In fact, we started playing WoW when my family was all spread out- it was a way we could chatter at each other and do something cooperative without horrible phone bills or travel expenses. My parents (in their 60s) play, my husband and I play, my 7yo dd even has a couple characters she likes to goof around with.

DD has a Nintendo DS, I allow her to self-regulate. When she's doing something new she'll often play for longer than I might really like, but within a couple days she's set it aside to go play outside. I find that when I don't try to control it, she's much less likely to make an issue of it.

It works for our family, and really don't see that there's a significant risk of 'turning our brains to mush'. In fact, some studies have found that video games, particularly strategy games, help to retain brain function in elderly populations.
confustication is offline  
#29 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 01:45 PM
 
DeerMother's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: next to the fireplace
Posts: 2,203
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
have not read *every* response. . .
had a boyfriend in college who would invite me over where I would sit w/ the roomates' girlfriends and watch them play vgs, for hours. Same thing w/ bf after college. So, met dh who d/n have any type of console and I made it so clear they were not allowed in the house, it might as well have been in our vows. I'd rather my dc read books, make art, play pretend whatever or play outside than vgs.

DH has been spending a good deal of time at the local watering hole lately b/c he found a game there he has become addicted to. It happens quick and easy and I don't want that in the house. Having said all that, I love tv and movies and would not be happy tv-free.

 Single mama to two wild and sweet toddlers 2/08
DeerMother is offline  
#30 of 107 Old 06-08-2009, 02:44 PM
 
ancoda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Round Rock, Texas
Posts: 1,263
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
First off VG are not for every family. I think that as your kids get older if you forbid them to go to someone else's house to play them occasionally then yes it would be extreme, but not having them in your home is your choice. If people give you a hard time, just state that this is what works best for my family, and change the conversation.

We are a video gaming family we own a Wii, a ps2, and a nintendo 64. The way we make it work best for us is that my 7 year old has a certain number of hours that he is aloud to play per week. He has some of my old pogs in a small jar. He has to pay me the amount of hours he wants to play in that play period. When he runs out of pogs he is done for the week. We started up this system near the beginning of this year and it has worked well. It only took about two weeks for him to learn that if he asked for too many hours the first few days, he would be out of hours and have to wait till next week to be able to play again. Now he plays an hour some days, two some other days, and some days he does not ask for any hours. My 3 year old only asks to play about once or twice a week and only wants to play about 10 minutes before getting bored with it and finding something more fun to do.

oAlisha- eternal companion to mike:, mother to three energetic boys (02):, (05), and (07) and one sweet little girl 3/13.  Two in heaven.7/21/2010, 11/05/2011 mecry.gif.

ancoda is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off