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FIL taught kids dirty song

677 views 6 replies 6 participants last post by  annamama 
#1 ·
I just don't understand this behavior, and am kind of looking for some insight. FIL is depressed, a supposedly-recovering alcoholic, and someone with some pretty obnoxious social skills.

MIL is a great grandmother and loves to take the older two kids over for sleepovers.

Last time they were there, though, FIL taught them this stupid, stupid song about a monkey's a-hole. It doesn't even make any sense, it's just obnoxious. I imagine he's trying to get a rise out of someone, but I don't understand who, or why. I am also really unwilling to disrupt my kids' relationship with MIL over this, but I would like to clarify boundaries with FIL.

Any advice?
 
#2 ·
I think its probably just a difference in culture. My dad taught us all kinds of questionable songs and ditties, and how to swear in Czech. We knew these things were only to be repeated among our giggling selves and not in front of mom or polite company.

That's the fun of it - that Grandpa will be the one to teach them things mama never would and its kinda special.

They seem a bit young for that, though. Maybe you could suggest to Grandpa that he hold off on the rowdy stuff til they're older.
 
#3 ·
I get what you're saying, but I think he teaches it to them just because he wants to irritate his wife, and probably me. I agree they're way too young, my 4 year old didn't even get that the word was a-hole, my dd had to explain it to him.


Anyway, maybe you're right and I should just let it go. It did clearly, clearly make MIL very uncomfortable, though. When they sang it for me in front of her, she almost started crying, and then said that they weren't going to be able to come stay with her anymore if he taught them more songs like that. I didn't like that, because it kind of made it seem like it was THEIR responsibility to avoid him. Ugh. I just wish he was SLIGHTLY more mature. I have also heard him make numerous racist remarks since I've met him, and I kind of want to preopare my kdis for that, though i doubt they would even know what he was talking about.
 
#5 ·
Maybe he did because he thought it was cute? I don't know, most people who do stuff like that don't really think about the consquences. They're usually too wrapped up in the moment to worry about how it might affect the people around them or to do it irritate someone.
On the other hand, if he did do it to irritate you or your MIL, maybe it would be best if the kids didn't stay there. In fact, if his reasoning was above (not thinking) I don't know if I would feel comfortable letting my children spend long periods of time with him.
That being said, my grandfather was good for pulling stuff like that. He only taught my siblings and I one dirty ditty. Fortunately, while we knew it was dirty (we were 8, 10 and 14? at the time) we were also pretty clueless. I actually didn't get it until a couple days ago

No, we didn't spend alot of time with him either, and my mother and grandmother had a long heated chat with him afterwards.
 
#6 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuamami View Post
When they sang it for me in front of her, she almost started crying, and then said that they weren't going to be able to come stay with her anymore if he taught them more songs like that. I didn't like that, because it kind of made it seem like it was THEIR responsibility to avoid him.
Yeah - that would worry me, too. I've had that happen, actually. My grandmother did the same thing - put the onus for being allowed to come over on us, for things that an adult was doing. It was so awful, and really messed me up. (I think it messed up my sister, too, but she says it didn't.)

As for the song? His intentions may have been fairly innocent. Some people just find this sort of thing really funny. I remember a girl I knew who taught the child she was babysitting (age 3) to say "hubba hubba" at every guy who walked by. I didn't like it much, but she thought it was hilarious.
 
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