S/O of the lying thread~ Santa and other cultural myths, who purposely doesn't do them? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 03:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I wanted to start a thread just about not lying to your kids in the name of cultural myths.
We don't do Santa, Easter bunny, unicorns, faeries.......but we do still celebrate these holidays and the fun of fantasy without telling our dd it is actually real/true etc.

How do you handle this?

What is your reason for doing it or not?

How is going so far?

How old are your kids?

What did your parents do?

How did that affect your choices?

Obviously you don't have to answer all of those questions!

This is so interesting to me!


For the record I love holidays and do not have a problem with Santa themed decor for example, I just don't ever want to lie to my dd, even if it is the cultural trend. I believe we cans still have funs and gifts 'in the spirit of santa' without saying "Santa is REAL".
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#2 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 03:39 PM
 
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LOL... I answered your other post, but I'll reanswer here, because I'm very passionate about rites of childhood!

I think Santa and the Easter Bunny and those things are wonderful, magical parts of childhood that I would never want to take away from my children. Some of my best memories are of sitting around with my brothers and sisters and writing our letter to santa, baking cookies to leave by the fireplace for him; going to bed early so the Tooth Fairy could put a quarter under our pillow.

Some of the best memories with my own children are the same. What a wonderful gift we can give them, the gift of imagination and fantasy. I by no means consider it a lie, and it doesn't harm them to find out later that they were part of a magical childhood that I gifted to them. I wish they would keep the fantasy going until they have their own children. Family tradition, history, pure magic and love.

And this is why we do it.

SANDRA, 41 year old VERY laid-back mama to VERY free range kids Brett (16), Justus (11), Autumn (4), and Ayla (1)... four perfect NCB's! :::
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#3 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 03:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think I agree pretty much 100% except that while I would use those fun myths for fun, Iw ould never tell dd they were true. It is all under the guise of fun stories, not perpetuated lies. Does that make sense?


And I was actually very upset with my mom that she lied to me about it for so long and to this day won't admit Santa isn't real. Some kids are ok with it, but some kids don't like being lied to even for the sake of fun and family tradition. I just could not get over that she thought lying to me would be ok, it felt derogatory(sp?) and severed a bond for sure.
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#4 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 03:47 PM
 
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My kids know the stories behind Santa, Easter Bunny, etc but that is what they are, just stories. They don't believe they are real people. When they are older I hope to go more into the history of those stories.

So far we haven't had any issues. My mom tends to forget that we aren't doing it but we don't see her often so I see no harm in her asking the kids if they are excited for Santa and such. She was here for Easter and got the kids baskets and mentioned that the Easter Bunny brought them. I don't even think the boys noticed what she said. We've also had talks about not telling other kids about it because some do believe they are real.

My mom did the traditional thing and I discovered it was all a lie when I was 10 or so, just a few days after Christmas. I remember it very clearly. I was CRUSHED! Not so much that they weren't real but because I had been lied to. My husband agrees with me that it is unnecessary and in some ways cruel so we don't. We also don't celebrate the holidays in a religious way, just fun and merriment.
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#5 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 03:52 PM
 
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Copied from the other thread:

I don't know what we're going to do about Santa. DS loves Santa and talks about him in the same breath as dinosaurs and dragons, but he's 2.5... I don't know if he thinks all of that is real or not (well, dinosaurs are REAL, but...you know. Not visitable at the zoo)! He does seem to have the concept of pretending down pretty well, so I think we might just take that kind of route... Santa as fun magical pretend-thing, but not a person we tell him actually exists. I really don't know yet.
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#6 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 03:58 PM
 
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We have never mentioned Santa in our house but DS picked it up from daycare and he have latched onto the idea and is not letting go. When he brought it up over the holidays I just said Santa is a fun idea but not a real person.

I never believed in Santa and DH says he didn't either. For reasons I can't explain, the whole idea of taking kids to the mall and sitting on santa's lap creeps me out.

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#7 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 04:01 PM
 
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My mom was 10 when on Xmas eve, her parents decided to break the news to her that santa wasn't real. She cried, told them, "you'll see, in the morning, you'll see santa is real" and the next morning was heartbroken.
My sister and I teased our mom mercilessly about that. Not only were her parents cruel, so were her daughters. My poor mom. She made Santa (& easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc) for us, but we just didn't take it as seriously, or literally, as my mom did when she was little.
My daughter's just 25 months, so she doesn't care yet. But, in general, we have a policy of honesty with her, so I can't imagine trying to deceive her into believing these fun fantasies are really really real.
At the same time, I like holidays a lot now that I'm a mom. I remember the magic, I want my daughter to have that wonder and awe. I think, I hope, we can still have the magic, and also an understanding that it's fun to pretend.
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#8 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 04:03 PM
 
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Some of my best memories are of sitting around with my brothers and sisters and writing our letter to santa, baking cookies to leave by the fireplace for him; going to bed early so the Tooth Fairy could put a quarter under our pillow.
Same for me. BUT, some of my worst memories were wondering why I was a bad person, because Santa brought more to my friends than to me. My friends' parents lavished "Santa" gifts on them (and Easter Bunny, and tooth fairy...). My mother was always holding up the promise of Christmas presents as a reason to "be good." So I *tried* to b good, but friends, some of whom were definitely less "good" than I was, received heaps of candy and presents when I did not. I was disillusioned, and felt like "why bother trying..."

Christmas Eve was always great... anticipation, magic. Christmas Day was always disappointing... less than I had hoped, and not what I wanted - and I blamed it on myself because I thought Santa was real and I was not a good enough person to receive the wonderful gifts my friends received.

My parents never had any idea I felt this way.

So I just don't lie about it to my kids.

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#9 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 04:09 PM
 
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My kids are a bit too young at this point, but we will celebrate various holidays - like PP said, celebrating these holidays does not have to involve actually telling children santa/Easter bunnies etc are real. As a child, I was always told the truth about these mythologic figures, while still celebrating. At four, I was yelling at kids in the playground that "SANTA DOES NOT EXIST!!!", which may have been disappointing to my peers at the time . Anyway, the point is that Santa can still be fun without believing in the myth as such. Oh, and wasn't it Coca-Cola that invented Santa as we know him? I take issue with that, too.

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#10 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 04:14 PM
 
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How do you handle this?
We do Santa and the Easter Bunny, but pretty mildly – we don't go to great lengths about gifts, stories, or hiding our tracks. But we do do it. We intend for it to be increasingly 'wink wink nudge nudge.'

What is your reason for doing it or not?
I'm a fiction writer. I believe in the power of myth and story to enrich our lives and I don't believe that literal truth is the only kind of truth. (We also have fairies that live in our home.)

For me there is a fair amount of value in the ritual of going from "kid who believes in Santa to older child who knows it's not 'real' to adult who makes it real." I think it's a lovely rite of passage in a culture that has few sanctioned rites of passage that don't involve sex.

I also have a tendency to see Santa in the same general league as saints, Jesus, Buddha, etc.

How is going so far?
So far so good.

How old are your kids?
My son is 4

What did your parents do?
About the same.

How did that affect your choices?
Since I never found "the truth" that traumatic, I am not too concerned about the trauma of discovery.

~ Mum to Emily, March 12-16 2004, Noah, born Aug 2005, Liam, born January 2011, and wife to Carl since 1994. ~
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#11 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 04:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sisteeesmama View Post
I think I agree pretty much 100% except that while I would use those fun myths for fun, Iw ould never tell dd they were true. It is all under the guise of fun stories, not perpetuated lies. Does that make sense?


And I was actually very upset with my mom that she lied to me about it for so long and to this day won't admit Santa isn't real. Some kids are ok with it, but some kids don't like being lied to even for the sake of fun and family tradition. I just could not get over that she thought lying to me would be ok, it felt derogatory(sp?) and severed a bond for sure.
I'm right with you 100%. I've noticed on past threads of this sort, the ones who are most passionate about not treating Santa as real tend to be those whose parents lied in response to the direct question, "Is Santa real or not?" I'm 26 now and have a great relationship with my mom, but I still feel angry when I think about how long she drew that game out when I was a kid, telling me she "believed in Santa" as I repeatedly asked for the truth. I had to invent a whole mythology of my own to reconcile all the contradictory observations I was making until finally I had to admit to myself that my parents were liars.

I've also noticed gifted kids seem more likely to view Santa as a lie and to treat parents with suspicion once the ruse is over.

In our house, mama and daddy buy the presents and Santa appears only in storybooks. We do Santa photos at the mall and DS is delighted to see this symbol of gift-giving and togetherness but he knows it's a guy in a costume. Doesn't seem to make him any less happy than the other kids in line.

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#12 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 04:27 PM
 
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How do you handle this? We do Santa and the toothfairy. I don't know why, but we never have done anything with the Easter Bunny.

What is your reason for doing it or not?Mostly, because I loved it as a kid is why we started.

How is going so far?Great. Except when the toothfairy forgets.

How old are your kids?7 and 3

What did your parents do?Basically, the same as we do now. I don't remember when I quit believing in Santa.

How did that affect your choices?Obviously, it affected them, I do the exact same things my parents did!
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#13 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 04:29 PM
 
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I'm HUGE on stories. I love all the old stories (moralistic as they are)...the danger and excitement in them, the tales from a time when it was okay to start a story with "And then the chidlrens mother decided she was sick of them, and told her husband to take them into the woods and leave them there!" - these types of old fables have been my favorite since childhood. They filled me with adventure, wonder and a vague sense that there was something in the world, some sort of right and wrong...but that it wasn't so black and white as the teachers at school would have me think. I learned that naughty can get you into trouble, but that a crafty, mischevious kid is alright and good to have around. That sometimes the badguy, can be good...and that the good guy can get caught up in being good...and do bad. I learned that girls can be heroes too, and that boys are just as often thrown in a cage and plumped up to be eaten by a rogue woman of the forrest ("witch"). I didn't believe these things to be real....but they MADE something real for me, in feeling. In how I viewed the world.

You see these thing in Role Dahl stories. Talk about a storyteller. Man...I'm totally taking a moment right now, for Role Dahl. I've literally got tears in my eyes. Anyway, you guys....stories are important. Children need them so much. It gives a beginning to an overall thought, a middle with action of some sort and an end. Everything I learned about what it means to be brave...to be a friend, to be crafty....my early on dedication to being resourceful, knowing how to make things, KNOWING that I could be as fast as boys and just as tough...all of that really came from books and stories.

So, al lthat being said. I want my kids to hear the stories about the legends of Santa, Easter Bunny, Toothe Fairy, etc....but I want the importance to be the STORIES surrounding these legends...surrounding the importance of the time of year, etc. I love Christmas...but not FOR Christmas. Santa to me, will always be Olde St. Nicolas...not a red suited man, so much as a tall, wintery figure, in heavy robes and hoods, with a sack with a few precious things. (We're not big consumer)...so, Our kids aren't going to be at the mall, sitting on Santas lap and all of that...that's not Santa...that' a commercial. The REAL St. Nick...the REAL story, is worth telling. I love to view Winter as a season of feasting and celebration of life, in the dead of winter. I love to read storied during that time of winter happenings....but mainly it IS about the feasting. I go all out, as best I can, during that time, with food stuffs. It's important for people to remain connected to the time, when getting through winter really was about survival. Same with Easter...we don't practice any religion..we are "earth lovers" in our spiritual selves...but I love the old stories about that time of year, a period of rebirth, etc...so, I'll fit the Easter bunny into a celebration of all that.

Well and the toothe fairy...that's a kind of mischeif I can get down with...that's COOL! your toothe is gone..replaced by a bit of coinage? NEAT-O! We may try to do something like, leave the tooth at the edge of the woods for the fairy, to be replaced by the coin....just because then it's less of an outright lie...you know, not so much sneaking into your room and stealing it right from under your pillow. I like a bit more mystery than that..."Some people think it's the toothe fairy...I've never seen it, myself...but how cool that you got a quarter!

Anyway...yeah. We like the celebrations...getting together with family to feast and love each other....if there is a particularly awesome story, legendary creature or "person" who ties into the season...it's a story that will be told...but I don't want the focus to BE that figure. It'll just be a story. For the magic it leands to the fesitivities!

Sorry for being a rambler....I could talk about this subject all day and then some! Also...fast typing...lots ot do before baby wakes...so, sorry for spelling, etc

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#14 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 04:31 PM
 
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#15 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 04:32 PM
 
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How do you handle this?
We don't do any of them. My husband is big into fantasy, so they all know about them as fantasy characters, but not as all-knowing, gift-giving entities.

Quote:
What is your reason for doing it or not?
I believe it is lying and our religious beliefs play a big part of it.

Quote:
How is going so far?
For my kids, fine. For my MIL, not so well. She still "believes" and gets upset that we don't. But my bigger issue has been when we go out around holidays and people start asking them what Santa is bringing them. My son is generally very blatant in his answer and that seems to offend them.

Quote:
How old are your kids?
DS is almost 9. The girls are 7, 4, 2, and 6 months.

Quote:
What did your parents do?
My mom broke the news to my brother and I when I was in third grade and they didn't have much money, but they didn't want to spoil it for my younger sister. But I pretty much already knew by then anyway.

I'm not sure how it worked out in dh's family, like I said his mom still believes in Santa and always decks the house out. But he had a bunch of older siblings, so how long it was kept a secret I don't know.

Quote:
How did that affect your choices?
I'm not sure my parents choices really effected mine. I wasn't ever upset/angry with them about it. I get that parents think it is fun thing for kids and don't really mean any harm by it. But it is just not the choice I want to make for my own children.

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#16 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 05:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm right with you 100%. I've noticed on past threads of this sort, the ones who are most passionate about not treating Santa as real tend to be those whose parents lied in response to the direct question, "Is Santa real or not?" I'm 26 now and have a great relationship with my mom, but I still feel angry when I think about how long she drew that game out when I was a kid, telling me she "believed in Santa" as I repeatedly asked for the truth. I had to invent a whole mythology of my own to reconcile all the contradictory observations I was making until finally I had to admit to myself that my parents were liars.

I've also noticed gifted kids seem more likely to view Santa as a lie and to treat parents with suspicion once the ruse is over.

Yes, yes and even yes to the gifted thing. It was just the beginning of seeing my mom through new less flattering eyes. I know she wasn't trying to do anything wrong, rather to the contrary, but it broke the trust and if she lied about this then what else.

And I was considered gifted, although I don't like labels now and even wonder what the whole gifted thing means......
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#17 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 05:36 PM
 
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We play with the myths of Santa, Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, but the kids know they are for pretend. We openly enjoy them knowing the difference between real and myth. We also enjoy fairy tales, vivid imaginations and lots of ancient greek/roman/norse/native american mythology. I didn't believe in Santa et. all growing up and have no remorse over it. We still set cookies out, write our letter and feed the reindeer. We get Easter Baskets that the Easter Bunny hides and DD even wrote to the Tooth Fairy to tell her that she doesn't want money, just surprises. She knows good and well that Daddy is the tooth fairy or Grandma sometimes, but she can rattle off a physical description of what the fairy looks like. Imagination and pretend are important to growing up, but so is truthfullness. I think you can have your imaginings and honor the truth at the same time.
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#18 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 05:36 PM
 
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We're probably a year or two from really having to think about this issue (DD will be a few months over 2 yo at Christmas), but I do think about now. Until about 8th grade, I was raised Roman Catholic with all the trappings that went along with it, including the celebrations of Christmas and Easter as religious holidays AND as occasions of fun and wonder (Santa and E.B.). But I have considered myself an atheist long since childhood, and my DH is a non-practicing Catholic. But we still love the fun of Santa (and to some degree the E.B.) and the whole holiday spirit of it all. Many of my fondest memories are of waiting for Santa. I cannot imagine keeping that out of DD's experiences growing up, despite my views on the religion that underlies these holidays. So, we will keep the tradition going. That is, the spirit of a mythical person who brings gifts or does special things. I don't think I'm scarred for life for having found out at some point along the way that these characters are not actual living beings. In fact I recall it being fun to be in on some colossal inside "joke" with adults once I did know, and it was fun still pretending on behalf of younger siblings/relatives. To the extent that she questions why we celebrate those holidays for non-religious reasons, I suppose we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

I think my real reason for wanting to have my DD enjoy this childhood fun is that there is so much in kids' worlds that is negative or challenging or just so "real", that we need to hang onto one of the last remaining carefree rites of childhood. At least the way I envision carrying it forward (i.e. one or two small gifts of significant sentimental value--not an explosion of meaningless toys), to me it seems like one of the last good threads in our culture that is not focused on materialism. Not to mention that I just cannot see much of a difference between talking about Santa for a few years and some of the books we read together. In due time she will realize that animals do not really talk or do human like things like they do in her favorite books, but why spoil that fun for her now....or for me
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#19 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 05:37 PM
 
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Sorry but I really resent the use of the word 'lying' when referring to parents who include mythology and magic in their family. Would you refer to a family of another religion as 'lying'?

I have no problem with others making different choices but using such language is inappropriate and attacking.
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#20 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 05:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I loved that my parents participated in these cultural myths. I was in no way traumatized when I found out there was no Santa. I am not angry at my mother for perpetuating the "lie." I just don't get that, at all. It isn't that big of a deal. My generation, I'm 40, seems to really buy into the theory that almost any disappointment or mishandling of parental authority and influence will traumatize a child for life. It just isn't that easy to scar a kid for life. If a child is that traumatized by the revelation that Santa isn't real, there have got to be some other issues going on. There are people starving in this world. Where is the perspective?
Well, I'm sorry to have to correct you, but a child can be scarred for just that. When I found out that Santa wasn't real, I remember it vividly, it was just this crushing blow to know that my mom was lying to me and wouldn't even look me in the eye and tell me the truth. It was like she was holding something away from me to keep herself above me if that makes sense. Like she could not/would not level with me. If she could have just said, "Well, you had to find out sometime.....but let's keep pretending anyway, just for fun!" I could have lived with that, she didn't though, she just looked me in the eye and said that he was real and why would I eve question it......

I don't think that as a child things have to make sense, it affected me and whether or not that makes sense to you is of no consequence in my book.
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#21 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 05:38 PM
 
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We don't do Santa. I don't mind reading stories about Santa and telling them that Santa is a pretend figure for Christmas, but we're not going to lie and say he's real. I believed in Santa as a kid, even got into arguments with other kids at school about it. I don't feel traumatised by my beliefs but I also don't think it's necessary.

I always knew it was my mom who filled our Easter baskets and never had a problem with it. We just gave my dad our teeth when they fell out and he'd hand us a dollar. No tooth fairy.

Pretending is great; I don't think it's necessary to lie and say Santa/unicorns/fairies are true. We pretend to be Sonic the Hedgehog all the time. Alexander knows he isn't real. It doesn't make the games less fun.

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#22 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 05:40 PM
 
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I loved that my parents participated in these cultural myths. I was in no way traumatized when I found out there was no Santa. I am not angry at my mother for perpetuating the "lie." I just don't get that, at all. It isn't that big of a deal. My generation, I'm 40, seems to really buy into the theory that almost any disappointment or mishandling of parental authority and influence will traumatize a child for life. It just isn't that easy to scar a kid for life. If a child is that traumatized by the revelation that Santa isn't real, there have got to be some other issues going on. There are people starving in this world. Where is the perspective?
This was worded much better than I could've! Thank you, it's perfect!

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#23 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 05:40 PM
 
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We don't do the Santa/Easter bunny thing. For one part those are against DH's religion and for me, they don't exactly fit in - unless the Easter Bunny's now found his way to the equinox...What we both agree on is we don't like the consumerism that seems to come with them, these days. You know Santa brings you eight billion toys and all that. It's wierd, because the DSC moms do them, so I guess they just suspend belief? IDK. DD is too little to know. I give her presents on Winter Solstice and we do Christmas with extended family.

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#24 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 05:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We play with the myths of Santa, Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, but the kids know they are for pretend. We openly enjoy them knowing the difference between real and myth. We also enjoy fairy tales, vivid imaginations and lots of ancient greek/roman/norse/native american mythology. I didn't believe in Santa et. all growing up and have no remorse over it. We still set cookies out, write our letter and feed the reindeer. We get Easter Baskets that the Easter Bunny hides and DD even wrote to the Tooth Fairy to tell her that she doesn't want money, just surprises. She knows good and well that Daddy is the tooth fairy or Grandma sometimes, but she can rattle off a physical description of what the fairy looks like. Imagination and pretend are important to growing up, but so is truthfullness. I think you can have your imaginings and honor the truth at the same time.
Kids are almost 8, 4 and 2.
I love this answer and hope to be able to strike this type of harmony with my own dd! Thanks for sharing this!
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#25 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 05:40 PM
 
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How do you handle this?
We do Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. We don't do "if you're not good, Santa won't bring you anything" (Santa only does a small gift, and the stockings, anyway). We won't continue to lie about it, once they're past the point where "what do you think?" doesn't cut it. IME, when a kid is ready, they'll say so, one way or the other.

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What is your reason for doing it or not?
Basically, because it was such a hugely wonderful part of my own childhood, and I want to pass it on.

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How is going so far?
It's going okay. I am actually a little worried about dd. I'm not sure how she's going to handle the truth. I'd tell her now, but ime, kids seem to do best when they find out somewhere around age 8. Younger, and they're more likely to be really hurt about the lying, and kind of confused. Older, and they're more likely to feel that they've been played for fools.

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How old are your kids?
DS1 is 16. He's obviously in on it, and figured it out at either 7 or 8. I think it was just after he turned 8.

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What did your parents do?
My parents did things the same way I do...pretended Santa and the rest were real, but didn't really push it, and didn't use them for behavioural modification.

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How did that affect your choices?
I'm doing things almost exactly the same way, so I'd say it affected my choices a lot.

I won't say this isn't lying, because it obviously is. It's the only time I've lied to my kids (aside from maybe "mommy and daddy were cuddling/taking a nap" when we were doing a lot more than that) and it does feel a bit weird, but I did love it so much. As I said above, my only reservations, ever, have been about dd. Just this last Christmas, I started wondering how she's going to take it, because she seems to be convinced on a much deeper level than most kids I've known. We'll see how the next couple years go. I am being less careful about hiding our tracks, as I hope that letting some little things show will begin to clue her in more gently. (For example, I used to downplay how much time I spent Christmas shopping, because so much of it is for stockings, and she'd wonder why I spent so much time to buy so few things. I don't do that, anymore. We put some Christmas-themed pencils in their stockings - and the rest of the pack appeared on dh's dresser a few months later. Things like that are more loose now.)

I'll continue the way we've gone, as I don't want to spring this on dd or ds2 before they're ready...but I do kind of wish, in light of dd's personality, that I'd skipped it with my little ones. I'm hoping I'm wrong, and dd takes it as well as ds1 did. He was just like me - loved that I'd put so much effort into "creating" Santa for him, and really appreciative of all the fun he'd had with it. We'll see how dd takes it.

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#26 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 05:42 PM
 
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- unless the Easter Bunny's now found his way to the equinox...
Personally, I think the symbolism of the Easter Bunny (rabbits, eggs, ducks & chicks) fits a lot better with the equinox than with Easter.

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#27 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 05:44 PM
 
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You see these thing in Role Dahl stories. Talk about a storyteller. Man...I'm totally taking a moment right now, for Role Dahl.
Roald Dahl. Yep, his stuff is amazing. And kinda scary, but in a good way.
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#28 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 05:44 PM
 
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Personally, I think the symbolism of the Easter Bunny (rabbits, eggs, ducks & chicks) fits a lot better with the equinox than with Easter.
True, actually that's where it's origins are, but Easter is always after the Equinox, so that's what I meant.

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#29 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 05:47 PM
 
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Sorry but I really resent the use of the word 'lying' when referring to parents who include mythology and magic in their family. Would you refer to a family of another religion as 'lying'?

I have no problem with others making different choices but using such language is inappropriate and attacking.
I'm sorry, but I do Santa, and it's lying. I'm pretending to my children that something is real, when I don't believe that it is. That's lying.

While I'm generally very, very honest with my kids (I've been accused of being too honest, particularly with ds1), and I don't like to think of myself as a liar...I am one. I'm lying. I maintain the charade all year, and I hide things from them, and tell them that a fat man is going to come down our chimney and eat his cookies and give the baby carrots to a reindeer. I know that's not going to happen. So...I'm lying. As bizarre as it may sound, I'm not dishonest enough to pretend otherwise.

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#30 of 121 Old 06-10-2009, 05:48 PM
 
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True, actually that's where it's origins are, but Easter is always after the Equinox, so that's what I meant.
Gotcha. I just like the springtime symbols of Easter. We're agnostic (bordering on atheist, in my case), so the religious aspect isn't even there for us. It's a cultural holiday, not a religious one, yk? DD asked me why it's a bunny that comes for Easter, and I just told her that I think it must be because it's springtime, which is when the bunnies are being born...

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