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#61 of 73 Old 06-15-2009, 05:03 PM
 
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I've been there, but from a different angle. I was playing with my cousin in a park several years ago, I was ~16 and she was ~3. A Dad was playing with his kid there too and finally made some comment to me like "Your daughter looks so much like you." or something and it really threw me. It was nice to see him be so accepting of someone so young having a baby, but she wasn't I think it's hard because you can easily be wrong no matter what you say or what assumption you make! I do think it is probably safer to assume the child is the child of the person they are with, but still, it's hard.

And I get that people are thrown when a kid isn't a carbon copy of Mom or Dad, but really, there are plenty of recessive genes that will throw that out of whack and hello adoption

Katie trekkie.gif - Married to Mike 06/02/01, Mom to Sydney Anne born 11/21/09 and Alice Maeryn & Oliver Thomas born 04/24/13  hug.gif 

 

 

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#62 of 73 Old 06-15-2009, 05:54 PM
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I get variations of that question all the time. Of course, DS is Chinese (adopted) and and we are white, so there you go.

I usually just say yes. I've posted DH's response on TAO before, but I'll give again. (He whips this one out when someone is rude/pushy about it.) "My wife cheated on me and I'm trying to move past it. Please stop reminding me."

I love the lick the baby response. . . . .

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#63 of 73 Old 06-15-2009, 06:42 PM
 
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I would have been bugged too.
I've never gotten that question but I'm actually shocked that I haven't. I get quizical looks but no questions. I'm blonde and fair-skinned and my 3 youngest are dark haired and olive skinned (dh is mexican). What was funny was before we had our 3, it was just myself, dh and my two from a previous marriage, both fair-skinned one blonde and one red haired. We were sitting at a restaurant one time and I could catch bits of conversations of this group of elderly people. I could tell that they were trying to figure us out but it sounded as if they were trying to solve some complex math problem.

Amy - mom to Anna-Rebekah 14, Logan 13, Christian 8, Ethan 7 and Adan 07/15/08
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#64 of 73 Old 06-16-2009, 12:45 AM
 
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Originally Posted by RiverTam View Post
When someone asks me if my kids are mine, I just laugh and say "Yep. Made them myself."
Cute response.
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#65 of 73 Old 06-16-2009, 12:55 AM
 
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"I usually just say yes. I've posted DH's response on TAO before, but I'll give again. (He whips this one out when someone is rude/pushy about it.) "My wife cheated on me and I'm trying to move past it. Please stop reminding me.""

Too funny!!!!

"mine are older so now when I get that questions its the "um excuse me ma'am . . .is that your child over there" to which I reasond "no, i have never seen that kid before but someone should really talk to her mother . . "
heheheeee!

My husband is half basque with dark eyes, long fringey lashes, and very dark curly textured hair. I'm pale, and green eyed with straight auburn hair. Both kids have super dark eyes and pretty curls and look a lot like their dad. When we are out together I've had people ask "Oh are you the stepmother?" as I'm carrying my son and and holding my daughters hand. It used to really get to us but now we laugh about it and make wise ass cracks to each other.
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#66 of 73 Old 06-18-2009, 02:22 PM
 
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My mom is olive skinned with an afro and I'm "see-thru" pale with curly red-blonde hair. Miracle of genetics eh? It never bothered me though. As a kid I was always trying to stick stuff in my mom's hair ... I was jealous
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#67 of 73 Old 06-22-2009, 05:25 PM
 
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I might be able to top the rudness meter on this one...once I was eating dinner outside alone and someone saw my DDs and they asked..."do they have the same father?" Now that's kind of rude...but I do realize that my DDs don't look anything alike either! And I mean, exact opposites. One has my eyes and nose, DH's olive skin and body type. The other, DH's eyes and nose with my pale skin and body type. Very different personalities too!

Even funnier is that our two boys look completely different---one looks just like me, the other looks just like DH. So, go figure. We've got two virtual clones of a parent, and two that are mixes.

Perpetually breastfeeding or pregnant ENFP mom to a lot of kids...wife to a midwestern nice guy...living in tropical paradise...pink cats and homebirths rock!

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#68 of 73 Old 06-22-2009, 06:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by crl View Post
I get variations of that question all the time. Of course, DS is Chinese (adopted) and and we are white, so there you go.

I usually just say yes. I've posted DH's response on TAO before, but I'll give again. (He whips this one out when someone is rude/pushy about it.) "My wife cheated on me and I'm trying to move past it. Please stop reminding me."

:

I love it. That's a great response. I'm curious ..what are the expressions on the faces of the people who hear it?

Normal is just a setting on your dryer.
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#69 of 73 Old 06-22-2009, 08:41 PM
 
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People might just not want to embarrass themselves by making assumptions.

There was a man at my son's football practice I was talking to one night... I noticed he and the woman he was always with had a girl with them... I asked, oh, how old is your daughter? and he kind of jumped a little before answering, which I didn't think was odd until later... when I heard the girl call him "donny" and while listening in on them talking came to gather the kids were HERS and the man and woman didn't have wedding bands... I don't know if he considered them "his" or not but I kind of felt like an ass for assuming. I mean why WOULDN'T you assume, in that situation, but still... So maybe some people just ask, just to be sure, before they inadvertantly insult you by saying "your child" if it isn't... not thinking that checking might be just as insulting to some as being wrong.

My 3 kids look nothing alike - I have a blonde/blue (looks like me) and a dark brown/dark brown (looks like dad) and one who is non-descript light brown and brownish greenish eyes - they're all me and DHs though - I'm surprised I haven't gotten any questions.

Yet.

DS T 11/16/03 DDs K & E 3/28/08
nak DS S 4/1/11
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#70 of 73 Old 06-22-2009, 09:46 PM
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Originally Posted by BookGoddess View Post
:

I love it. That's a great response. I'm curious ..what are the expressions on the faces of the people who hear it?
He says mostly people turn bright red and leave. One person laughed.

Catherine
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#71 of 73 Old 06-22-2009, 10:53 PM
 
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It is very, very rude. I've gotten that several times and no matter how you wash it, it's rude.
Oh gosh! I almost asked that question in the target today. There was an older woman standing next to a cart with two kids, and a younger woman standing very close behind her. I assumed, grandma plus mom plus grandkids.

The kid started waving at me, and wanted to talk to the mom. I was about to open my mouth when the 'mom' said to the 'grandma' quite rudely, 'are you in line?, or are you just standing here'.

They weren't together! Sometimes I feel it's better to ask than assume-- It used to really weird me out when people thought I was my brother's mom-- there's only an 8 year difference!

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#72 of 73 Old 06-23-2009, 07:40 AM
 
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Being someone who doesn't even buy the idea of race (cats come in all colors...yet they're all cats, right? What happened to the HUMAN race?) I get offended by the stupidity too. My son looks just like a mini-papa!
I just joke with people now. I tell them I kidnapped him or I just found him somewhere. Return stupidity with stupid answers. Hee hee. I guess as long as I know he's mine (and I DO. I remember pushing the little sucker out. ).

People will say some dumb things. Boy oh boy, will they ever!

Artista , Writer:, Thinker , Yogi Guru and Mama to my small, but quite amazing family!
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#73 of 73 Old 06-23-2009, 10:24 AM
 
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I was asked that question a lot when I worked as a nanny - the little boy actually looked a lot like me, but I looked fairly young. Of course he wasn't mine, so I wasn't offended.

 I like the mind to be a dustbin of scraps of brilliant fabric, odd gems, worthless but fascinating curiosities, tinsel, quaint bits of carving, and a reasonable amount of healthy dirt.
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