mamas who don't shave~ what will you tell your dd and will you/do you allow shaving? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-02-2009, 12:02 AM
 
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Yes I agree with your latter statement but come on when one says that women are pushed to shave to look like a little kid to be more attractive to men it sounds like we're calling them pedophiles at heart, does it not?

re: pubic trimming- ok this might be TMI so let me try and phrase this veeeeeery carefully, for women who have a lot (*raises hand*) it's like trimming the hair on your head. Take the extra length and cut it.
ahh ok i get what you are saying. your talking about the idea that women are pushed to look like children so that they will be more attractive to men. i was thinking more like this. our cultural (and personally i think it is has a lot to do with advertising, media, etc) has this widely accepted 'ideal' or a standard for what women should aspire too. she is thin, generally tall, has medium breasts, no hair, no hips, etc this image is plastered all over every magazine, tv, CD, etc... heck it is even plastered on bill boards. the target audience for this kind of thing is kids and teens. they see razor adds, beauty products, princesses, etc. and it gets worse as they get older. this is what we are told over and over again is attractive.

i think we have sort of an odd situation where little girls want to dress like adults and wear make up and such and teens and young adults feel like something is wrong with them when their body starts changing and they gain a bit of weight, grow in their hips and chest etc. its supposed to happen... but it is banged into your head that its wrong. i imagine that just as the girls and women in our culture are told that they need these things to become this ideal woman boys and men are told that it is what they should want in a woman. the funny thing is that if you take a look at anything really marketed towards men the women in the advertisements usually have butts and boobs.

sort of on topic, have you seen transformers? its a good example of what i am trying to say i loved the movie but it was a sexist car wreck.
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:03 AM
 
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I shave my 'pits and legs - if I don't shave my armpits every day or two I find I smell worse. My legs get shaved every few days, sometimes more in the summer.

I do trim my pubic hair, and I shaved all of it off one time and that was enough. I really, really felt like I looked like a prepubescent girl. It made me feel icky, if that makes any sense. I haven't done it since, and don't plan on doing it again any time soon.

To each their own.
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:06 AM
 
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if i don't shave my arm pits i get ridiculous sweat stains if i wear anything but a tank top it was never really an issue until college.. no deodorant made a difference if i went a few days without shaving.. it was really embarrassing.
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:07 AM
 
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Tigerchild: you're 9:52 post was like getting sadistically tickled...I was laughing so hard it hurt! Not laughing at you, by the way...it was just your unrepentant delivery that killed me!

I also agree with your subsequent post regarding your DD's potential future shaving...that she do it not because she will be perceived as gross by other people if she doesn't shave, but because it is a personal preference.

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Old 07-02-2009, 12:09 AM
 
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ahh ok i get what you are saying. your talking about the idea that women are pushed to look like children so that they will be more attractive to men. i was thinking more like this. our cultural (and personally i think it is has a lot to do with advertising, media, etc) has this widely accepted 'ideal' or a standard for what women should aspire too. she is thin, generally tall, has medium breasts, no hair, no hips, etc this image is plastered all over every magazine, tv, CD, etc... heck it is even plastered on bill boards. the target audience for this kind of thing is kids and teens. they see razor adds, beauty products, princesses, etc. and it gets worse as they get older. this is what we are told over and over again is attractive.

i think we have sort of an odd situation where little girls want to dress like adults and wear make up and such and teens and young adults feel like something is wrong with them when their body starts changing and they gain a bit of weight, grow in their hips and chest etc. its supposed to happen... but it is banged into your head that its wrong. i imagine that just as the girls and women in our culture are told that they need these things to become this ideal woman boys and men are told that it is what they should want in a woman. the funny thing is that if you take a look at anything really marketed towards men the women in the advertisements usually have butts and boobs.

sort of on topic, have you seen transformers? its a good example of what i am trying to say i loved the movie but it was a sexist car wreck.
I agree with what you are saying here! But I was referring to the actual comments about shaving= being child-like for men.

And I have yet to see any of the Transformers movies though I have been wondering what is up with the Megan Fox love....

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Old 07-02-2009, 12:13 AM
 
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Tigerchild: you're 9:52 post was like getting sadistically tickled...I was laughing so hard it hurt! Not laughing at you, by the way...it was just your unrepentant delivery that killed me!
Have you seen the massive zit popping thread here? That is like the most awesome thread in the whole universe, I've never been able to read it without laughing so hard that tears stream down my face. I was actually contemplating fading away from MDC awhile back, because my kids are not little anymore and I felt that it was more oriented towards new/parenting little ones people--but I saw that thread and knew that MDC was still my people! :

See, now I'm really getting off topic!

I've just always been confused when people seem to think that shaving always has to be about appearances/cosmetic stuff. I mean, I know that it is for most people, but it's not like there is not a huge amount of women who love to "pick" at stuff, messing around with body hair that people don't get to see all that much of AND does really cool things like give you ingrown hairs to play with seems to be a natural extension of that too!
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:17 AM
 
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Popping zits is like my favorite pastime.

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Old 07-02-2009, 12:20 AM
 
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Have you seen the massive zit popping thread here?
Ummm, no. But I must say, though, that I have observed primates in captivity (and ones in the wild on video) who are constantly grooming each other. I mean, they spend hours picking through each other's hair hoping to find that one little bug or whatever it is they are looking for.

Okay, I'm off-topic too, but your posts were certainly a welcome sight in a week full of seriousness and defensiveness. Thanks!

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Old 07-02-2009, 12:20 AM
 
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Popping zits is like my favorite pastime.
Popping my dh's blackheads is mine. He has to beat me off of him when I see some crop up. Is it weird I like grooming others? And cleaning my kids ears is fun for me too.

ETA: after the last post, yes, I feel like a chimp doing it too.

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Old 07-02-2009, 12:20 AM
 
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I shave - but I wish I never started shaving my legs. As for other areas shaving seemed to fix body odor for me I don't know if there is like something wrong with me or whatever, but for whatever reason if I don't shave then I just don't smell very fresh within 20 minutes, but as long as I'm shaven then all is good. probably tmi, but thought it might be something to keep in mind like if you meet someone who likes to shave. For me it has nothing to do with what "the man" thinks about me lol, so if you do end up with a child who shaves maybe it will be because its something that in one way or another makes them feel more comfortable in their skin and has nothing to do with how it looks in other people's eyes. What I'm saying is, they may still share your values on the male-bigboo-sex kitten thing, but shave for reasons that have nothing to do with appearance. Just a bit of hope from a shaver for all the right reasons to non shavers for all the right reasons
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:25 AM
 
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I like popping zits, squeezing blackheads, and digging out ingrown hairs too! My favorite hairs are the ones that grow back under the skin but not coiled up so it's just a line under your skin that you can squeeze and then pull out the stick straight hair and then yank it out!
I get HUGE clots and it HURTS if I have to pull them out of long hair. it's so FUN to see the little hairs on the wax afterwards
you sound just like me, thanks for making me feel normal. I was too shy to say about the clumps in the hair thing, but since you mentioned it first, I'll say, thats why I started keeping it short there in the first place. Even as a teen I was also a very dischargy so it wasnt even just during my period it was all the time getting clumps and it hurt trying to get them off and to be honest I just want to go to the bathroom, wipe, and go... not sit around pulling stuff out of my pubic hair, if I didnt have that problem (and the BO problem) I'd probably feel different. I'd still pop blackheads and pimples and ingrown hairs though, because its fun to watch... I know a lot of girls who like that though, so maybe we aren't too weird?
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:27 AM
 
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Popping my dh's blackheads is mine. He has to beat me off of him when I see some crop up. Is it weird I like grooming others? And cleaning my kids ears is fun for me too.

ETA: after the last post, yes, I feel like a chimp doing it too.
Yeah I actually pop DH's zits/black heads. I am lucky because he works in the heat and sweats all day He has beaten me off more than once. Or twice. Or a million times. I have also popped my little sis' face. It has gotten to the point where people comes to me (friends and family) and say "so I have this zit..." They say I am really good and keeping their zits at bay. I should start a zit popping business or something.

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Old 07-02-2009, 12:28 AM
 
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I also love to peel off people's dead skin when they get sunburn, and I scratch all the dandruff on my husbands head lol. I'm starting to feel like a monkey :

1littlebit - just read your post, glad im not alone!
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:29 AM
 
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Yeah I actually pop DH's zits/black heads. I am lucky because he works in the heat and sweats all day He has beaten me off more than once. Or twice. Or a million times. I have also popped my little sis' face. It has gotten to the point where people comes to me (friends and family) and say "so I have this zit..." They say I am really good and keeping their zits at bay. I should start a zit popping business or something.
Can I get a job? My husband used to let me pop them all the time, now he wont. I wait until he's sleeping I try to do it tactfully so I dont wake him up
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:30 AM
 
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Peeling skin is so fun! And I am a scab picker, too. And ear picker with my kids. They hate it but it's total reflex.

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Old 07-02-2009, 12:31 AM
 
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I agree, Hesperia.



I know this is slightly off topic, but....

A long while ago I watched a show on Discovery channel hosted by John Clease (I hope I spelled his name right). That show was about the human body, sexual attraction, biological reasons behind social connections/mating, and attraction to others. Well, the red lips (makeup, lipstick) and flushed cheeks (from blush/rouge) was attributed to simulating how blood flows to a woman's face making her flushed during orgasm/sexual arousal. Therefore, if a woman puts on makeup, she will appear in a constant state of arousal. (or at least until she washes the makeup off). Nothing about red lips implied youth on this discovery show.

I just thought I'd throw that interesting tidbit into the discussion. Carry on.
interesting. I have very red lips that make me look even paler then I am and I just look bad in red - makes my skin look blotchy, always has since I was a kid - and so I put foundation on my lips to make them look pale. No one cares, I don't leave the house, I don't do it for anyone but me.

In fact I care so little I live in sweatpants and oversized t-shirts and rarely do my hair or make up, just like the pale lips...
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:32 AM
 
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Can I get a job? My husband used to let me pop them all the time, now he wont. I wait until he's sleeping I try to do it tactfully so I dont wake him up
My husband goes in spurts. But he inevitably ends up in front of me after looking in the mirror and I know what he wants and just laugh. When I don't pop his face he gets zits and blackheads all over within a few days/weeks. He tells everyone he didn't have clear skin until he met me.

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Old 07-02-2009, 12:33 AM
 
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Peeling skin is so fun! And I am a scab picker, too. And ear picker with my kids. They hate it but it's total reflex.
i'll see your ear picking and scab picking and raise you nose picking. I pick the hard buggars out of my kids nose - and mine - you know the ones that get stuck to your nostril hair. They do not come out when you blow. Yeah, I'm a nose picker. Don't worry, I do it in the privacy of my own home lol
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:34 AM
 
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Speaking of feeling like a chimp.... (ok so I am about to gross y'all out- you ready?)

When I was a junior in high school my charter school had this outbreak of lice and I would sit and pick them out of my little sister's hair and friend's hair all the time. I was the most thorough so they'd bring me the Rid and nit comp and I'd go through their hair with it and then pick them out by hand (we had some baaaad cases because the kids weren't sent home for it).

What can I say? I am really really odd.

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Old 07-02-2009, 12:35 AM
 
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i'll see your ear picking and scab picking and raise you nose picking. I pick the hard buggars out of my kids nose - and mine - you know the ones that get stuck to your nostril hair. They do not come out when you blow. Yeah, I'm a nose picker. Don't worry, I do it in the privacy of my own home lol
Me too. Especially my middle child who seems to get them all the time and is unable to breath with them. I can hear her coming most of the time.

ETA- and you may have saved me from being alone in the gross factor with my lice picking!

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Old 07-02-2009, 12:35 AM
 
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My husband goes in spurts. But he inevitably ends up in front of me after looking in the mirror and I know what he wants and just laugh. When I don't pop his face he gets zits and blackheads all over within a few days/weeks. He tells everyone he didn't have clear skin until he met me.
see I used to keep my husands skin clear and now its a mess and he doesn't understand its because he doesn't let me pick at it anymore! and im a good picker too - I never leave scars. My favorite are the black heads that look like your average black head, but you pop it and its like the legnth of someones intenstines or something it just keeps coming out in insane amounts.


there is so something wrong with me. I cant believe im talking about this on mothering.
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:38 AM
 
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Speaking of feeling like a chimp.... (ok so I am about to gross y'all out- you ready?)

When I was a junior in high school my charter school had this outbreak of lice and I would sit and pick them out of my little sister's hair and friend's hair all the time. I was the most thorough so they'd bring me the Rid and nit comp and I'd go through their hair with it and then pick them out by hand (we had some baaaad cases because the kids weren't sent home for it).

What can I say? I am really really odd.
when my cat gets fleas I pick them out of her and crush them. I'm going to be a flea or a pimple in my next life.
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:39 AM
 
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Grossest derail ever.
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:40 AM
 
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see I used to keep my husands skin clear and now its a mess and he doesn't understand its because he doesn't let me pick at it anymore! and im a good picker too - I never leave scars. My favorite are the black heads that look like your average black head, but you pop it and its like the legnth of someones intenstines or something it just keeps coming out in insane amounts.


there is so something wrong with me. I cant believe im talking about this on mothering.
We are totally going to be talked about for this.

But yeah I am the same way! I categorize zits and blackheads too. I know all the different kinds and which I like to pop best.

I also never leave scars. I believe it's my technique but who knows. We are just natural born pickers and poppers you and I!

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Old 07-02-2009, 12:41 AM
 
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when my cat gets fleas I pick them out of her and crush them. I'm going to be a flea or a pimple in my next life.
Oh I've never had the pleasure of fleas. We didn't have many animals. Hmmm I wonder what that'd be like.

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Old 07-02-2009, 12:42 AM
 
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We are totally going to be talked about for this.

But yeah I am the same way! I categorize zits and blackheads too. I know all the different kinds and which I like to pop best.

I also never leave scars. I believe it's my technique but who knows. We are just natural born pickers and poppers you and I!
you have me in stitches over here! Maybe I lost the sense or normal a long time ago, but at least I'm not alone!
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:43 AM
 
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Oh I've never had the pleasure of fleas. We didn't have many animals. Hmmm I wonder what that'd be like.
The best way is to get them between two fingernails.

And...I think I'm going to bail out, because this is way OT...and getting kind of gross.

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Old 07-02-2009, 12:44 AM
 
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Oh I've never had the pleasure of fleas
didn't have many animals. Hmmm I wonder what that'd be like.
it's not as fun to be honest - that one I do more out of neccessity. Our cat just can't seem to stay in the house and I don't make her, but I don't want the fleas living with us. Everyone always says when you see a flea you will have a flea problem within days or weeks - but my cat gets a couple fleas a week and I get them off her and we've never had a flea problem aside from the few I get off her. But yea, not really fun, just gross, and sometimes they try to hop away :
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:44 AM
 
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when my cat gets fleas I pick them out of her and crush them. I'm going to be a flea or a pimple in my next life.
omg my best friend /former roommate used to do this to her dog. she would sit there and pick the 'fleasies' off his belly. we used to compete to see who could find the most.
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:47 AM
 
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sorry I did answer the original question I got carried away when I realized there were mre people like me. Perhaps a spin off thread would have been more appropriate. To the OP I am sorry for taking part in derailing your thread! And I think its really awesome you thinking about this issue and even though I shave for personal comfort I agree with your reasons for not shaving and hold the same beliefs, I just shave for myself.
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