When does the WHY stage start? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 21 Old 07-01-2009, 09:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,524
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dd hit her "why" phase a little after she was 2.5. She has a friend who is the same age and still hasn't started the "Why's" at 3.5, and his mother is concerned and wanted me to ask. Since dd is an only child, I don't really know what's the average range for this. So, when did your child/-ren enter into the "Why Why Why?" phase?

Allison:  a little bit Waldorf, a little bit Medievalish, and always"MOMMMMYYYY!" to sweet Cecily since 12.22.05
LuxPerpetua is offline  
#2 of 21 Old 07-01-2009, 09:35 PM
 
JamieCatheryn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: SW Pa
Posts: 5,108
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
My 3.25yo still hasn't, but he did have a "where?" phase at 2.5
JamieCatheryn is offline  
#3 of 21 Old 07-01-2009, 09:40 PM
 
IncaMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 4,431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my kids never really had a "why why why" stage, they asked a trillion other questions...ad nauseum...and still do...but they never really seemed to be all that interested in that specific word. i remember waiting around for it, and it never really came. i mean, i'm sure they asked "why" plenty of times, it just never took on that constant tone i was expecting.
IncaMama is offline  
#4 of 21 Old 07-01-2009, 09:41 PM
 
LynnS6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pacific NW longing for the Midwest
Posts: 12,565
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I had one major "why" kid who started between 2 1/2 and 3. I had another child who didn't ask nearly as many why questions, so I can't really say that she had a 'why' stage. She had more of a 'how' stage. It is very much a personality difference between the two -- ds is more theoretical, whereas dd wants to know the process.

Putting on my professor hat: Some kids don't go through a 'why' stage. There's nothing wrong with that as long as the child asks some questions. A child who never asks questions to get information between 3 and 4 would concern me. So, the age for 'questions' is usually about 3, but anything between 3 and 4 is pretty typical.

Lynnteapot2.GIF, academicreading.gif,geek.gif wife, WOHM  to T jog.gif(4/01) and M whistling.gif (5/04)
LynnS6 is offline  
#5 of 21 Old 07-01-2009, 09:57 PM
 
AndrewsMother's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,670
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS has been in the why stage for about 9 months. He entered the phase around 28 months-30 months of age. He is now 3 years and two months.

+ + =
AndrewsMother is offline  
#6 of 21 Old 07-01-2009, 10:12 PM
 
NicaG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 1,733
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ds was a late talker. The why questions started when he was 3 or maybe 3.5. He's now 4 and there are a million why questions every day. It's fun but can get exhausting sometimes!

lady.gif mama to H. 4/05 and A. 9/08 and baby C. 10/11

NicaG is offline  
#7 of 21 Old 07-01-2009, 11:18 PM
 
proudmamanow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: home again, home again, jiggety-jig
Posts: 2,066
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
DD was in a why stage from 2-3.5. I'm still getting over it
But yes I think it varies widely and some don't go through it....
proudmamanow is offline  
#8 of 21 Old 07-01-2009, 11:42 PM
Banned
 
jeanine123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: The land of never ending chatter
Posts: 2,507
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My oldest (almost 6) never really went through a "why" phase. My youngest hasn't either (he's 3). He skipped straight to "why not?"
jeanine123 is offline  
#9 of 21 Old 07-02-2009, 12:26 AM
 
Daffodil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Vermont
Posts: 3,620
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
DD started her "why" phase around 2.5. DS is 3.5, and it seems like he's not going to have a "why" phase. He does ask "why" questions sometimes, but not to the point that it drives me crazy. (One thing he's asked "why" about a couple of times recently was why there was a guard rail in a particular place, which made me wonder if all kids go through a phase of asking about guard rails, or if my kids just have some weird guard rail curiosity gene. When DD was around that age, every car trip involved discussions about why there were or were not guard rails in the places we drove by.)
Daffodil is online now  
#10 of 21 Old 07-02-2009, 12:41 AM
 
inkslinger's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 506
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
dd2 just started it, she's 2.5

You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
K (6): C (8): B (1/13/12) homeschool.gifbfinfant.giffemalesling.GIFfamilybed2.gif

inkslinger is offline  
#11 of 21 Old 07-02-2009, 01:34 AM
 
MusicianDad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Tuponia
Posts: 10,838
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My guess is it varies from kid to kid. DD started the "why" stage at about 2 years (aka about the time she learned the word Why) and still hasn't entirely grown out of it. We still get a good deal of "why?"'s, though now they about much more complicated issues.

malesling.GIFMutant Papa to DD (12)hippie.gif and DS (2)babyf.gif, married to DHribbonrainbow.gif
If it looks like I'm trying to pick a fight... I'm not, I'm rarely that obvious.hammer.gif
MusicianDad is offline  
#12 of 21 Old 07-02-2009, 02:44 AM
 
Sierra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 6,449
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ds (4.25) and dd (not quite 3.5) are both into "why" right now, and I am having trouble remembering when it started for both. I agree that it is pretty individual, but perhaps your friend has some reason she's wondering?

I'm pro-adoption reform, but not anti-adoption.
Sierra is offline  
#13 of 21 Old 07-02-2009, 11:33 AM
 
Amys1st's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 8,449
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I rememember buying a shirt for dd1 thru a coop and it said:

WHY?

She was about 4 then. She is 7 now and still hasnt outgrown it yet-the whys not the shirt. I will get back to you eventually when she does LOL

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
Amys1st is offline  
#14 of 21 Old 07-02-2009, 01:07 PM
 
Dov'sMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York
Posts: 1,728
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't know... my 18 month old started with the whys about two months ago. I was sure he was just saying the word without undersatnding it, (especially because he's not verbal enough to say "why X" -- it's just plain "why" -- or actually "vy") but lately I've come to believe he really does understand. A typical conversation will go something like this:
Me: DS, don't climb on the table!
DS: Sorry (climbs back up again)
Me: DS, you can't climb on the table.
DS: Sorry! (like hello, I said I was sorry, leave me alone now)
Me: DS, saying "sorry" while you're climbing on the table doesn't make it better
DS: Vy?
Me: Because you have to stop doing it first.
DS: Vy? Vy? Table! Table! (kicking and screaming and I take him away from the table)\

He askes why at least 5-10 times a day, mostly when I tell him he can't do something, but sometimes just for clarification.
DS: That is? (what he says when he points at something whose name he doesn't know)
Me: That's a pair of tongs, we use it to take hot food out of the pot.
DS: Vy?
Me: So we don't hurt ourselves.
DS: Vy?
Me: Because hot water can burn.
DS: (muttering ot himself) tongs. Tongs.

ETA: My 31 MO also asks why ALL THE TIME, probably starting from about 20-22 months. That probably influenced when the baby started.
Dov'sMom is offline  
#15 of 21 Old 07-02-2009, 01:29 PM
 
BellinghamCrunchie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Alpha Centauri
Posts: 4,293
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD is 4.5 and is just now starting to ask "why." She saw another child do it on a dvd and picked it up.

I agree with LynnS6 that use of the specific word "why" isn't at all important. DD has been asking for information about everything since she was about 2, just not with the word "why." DD used to say, "Who did dat?" which really meant "why" the way she used the phrase (e.g. she'd point out the window at road construction and said, "who did dat?" when she meant "why is the road all messy?").
BellinghamCrunchie is offline  
#16 of 21 Old 07-03-2009, 01:27 AM
 
ErinBird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,657
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD just started this week. She's almost 34mo.

Mama to Raina (9/06) and Peter (8/09)!
ErinBird is offline  
#17 of 21 Old 07-03-2009, 07:48 AM
 
velochic's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Dreaming of the Bavarian Alps
Posts: 8,413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dd is 7 and never went through a why stage. She is a very curious person about everything and I answer a lot of questions (or we look up the answers together), but once she gets an answer, she doesn't really question the answer. I've also been lucky that she's always been on an even emotional keel, so she doesn't question decisions I make with why or get upset either. When I say we have to do X or Y, she doesn't question why, she just does it. So no "why" stage and no "tantrum" stage, either.
velochic is offline  
#18 of 21 Old 07-03-2009, 12:57 PM
 
alinajoy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: carnation, wa
Posts: 229
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My almost 3 yr old DD didn't go through a "why" phase but went through a constant "what does it do?" phase...

The funny thing is she would not allow you to give a lame answer either, she expected a real thorough explanation. lol

The intensity didn't last too long so it never got on my nerves. And it was kinda fun trying to think of explanations to help her understand what everything "does". Because really everything does something and usually more than one thing so I could change it up.
alinajoy is offline  
#19 of 21 Old 07-03-2009, 12:59 PM
 
Norasmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: The sunny side of the mountains
Posts: 4,403
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Mine started a while back, she's almost 3. We also get a lot of "what's that smell(taste, person doing, etc...)?"

Me Wife to T (14 years)Mama to Princess(4) and Monster Boy(my 1 year old ):
Norasmomma is offline  
#20 of 21 Old 07-04-2009, 11:39 PM
 
WildinTheory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 259
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
About 2 1/2 my son started and it is "how come?" not "why"...

~m. Mama to two! DS (11/2006) and DD (07/2010).

WildinTheory is offline  
#21 of 21 Old 07-05-2009, 12:31 AM
 
eepster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: growing in the Garden State ............
Posts: 9,010
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS (3 yo) doesn't do "why?" he does "What's that?"

He does require explanations before he is willing to do things, though he just says "no" w/o actually asking "why." example:

me "DS, we need to wash our hands."
DS "No, I don't want to wash my hands."
me "you need to though"
DS "

but I don't want to" (whine begins)
me "but there are germs on the toilet and you touched it"
DS "Ohhh, there are germs" (starts washing his hands)

Timmy's Mommy WARNINGyslexic typing with help of preschooler, beware of typos
eepster is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off