Pierced ears for little....BOYS - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 10:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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First of all, I will admit that this thread was inspired by the post for pierced ears for little girls ....BUT I don't want it to deteriorate into a discussion about circing or anything like that other one did. I simply want to know how many other moms besides me have their little boys' ears pierced (any age...even to teen is ok for this discussion). My boys are 5 and 7 and both have their ears pierced. While, yes, it was originally our decision to pierce their ears, both boys like it and don't want to let their ears close up. They totally enjoy their earrings ! And before anyone asks, yes they both are 100 % "boyish" and not "little girlish" so don't even go there with the "boys should be boys and girls should be girls" crap. That isn't why I am asking this. I just want to know if there are any others in here who have had their ds's ears pierced and if they like it as much as I do (and as much as my sons do).
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#2 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 11:39 AM
 
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I second CK's mama ~ I treat my sons the same way I would if they were girls...if they want to pierce they must wait until age 12. Kind of an arbitrary age, but it seemed to me like an age to be recognized as old enough to make mature, well thought out decisions. DS #1 (now nearly13) got his ear pierced on his 12th birthday. He had been wanting it for a few years and I think the waiting made it even more exciting and special for him. He did a great job keeping it clean until it healed, no nagging needed.
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#3 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 11:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I couldn't agree more about how and where to get a kid's ears pierced ! I did the same with my boys and they had a great experience with it...no probs. I urge other parents who read this to take the same advice about ear piercing (Thanks for saying it, by the way).
As for knowing what this site is like, yes, I know that it is usually more open than most, but I felt that I had to make that disclaimer just in case...you never know. LOL !
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#4 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 01:12 PM
 
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Ditto what 3boysmom said. If ds wants his ear pierced when he's older, I'm fine with it.
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#5 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 01:35 PM
 
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Shann - I apologize if I have you confused with someone else, but aren't you the mama that refuses to cut her boys' hair until they want it cut because of respect for their bodily integrity?

How is your deciding to pierce their ears any different than cutting their hair?
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#6 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 01:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, my boys' hair is long, but I didn't join in the "bodily integrity" discussion. They like their long hair and also like their earrings. There is no need to read any more into my motives other than that we (bf and I) and the boys like the long hair and earrings. I have no intention of being baited into a "bodily integrity" discussion ! That wasn't the purpose of this post, so please dont add such to it ! I was merely asking for other peoples' experiences in this area.
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#7 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 01:45 PM
 
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wow, there are alot of qualifiers and rules for responses in the OP.

But this being a public board and all, I will say that the decision to pierce is one that my child makes. I don't agree with getting kids ears pierced before they ask for it themselves of their own free will.

"I just want to know if there are any others in here who have had their ds's ears pierced and if they like it as much as I do"

I don't know but the above quote seems like your saying you pierced your kids ears cause you thought it was cool. I personally don't make decisions for that reason.

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#8 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 01:55 PM
 
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No, I waited until he (and my dd's) asked. Which was age 5 about. He got one hole in one ear. 2 yrs later, he got one hole in the other ear.

He loves them. He also loves to wear his hair long, but since he is so beautiful (big eyes with long dark lashes, blonde hair) he gets mistaken for a girl all the time, even at age 12, when dressed in camos and a baggy t-shirt in dark "manly" colors. So he gets fed up and cuts his hair from time to time. Or dyes it black. And even that doesn't always help.
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#9 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 01:58 PM
 
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I have a VERY pierced DH, so I DO NOT agree with any notion that piercings of any type are just for one gender or the other. I think my DH is the hottest thing around, and part of his appeal are the piercings!!

THAT SAID.........I keep the same stance on this that I would for girls. If my little boy wanted an ear pierced, it would have to wait till he was old enough to fully understand the implications of what he was doing. I'm ok with helping care for it but I don't think it's ok to just do it because *I* want it done or think it would be "cool". His ears, his choice....when he's old enough to make it. I think I'd say probably around 8 or 9.
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#10 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 02:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shann
I have no intention of being baited into a "bodily integrity" discussion ! That wasn't the purpose of this post, so please dont add such to it ! I was merely asking for other peoples' experiences in this area.
I apologize, Shann. In retrospect, that was pretty inappropriate.

I'm sick and crabby today and I think between the religion post and the idea of choosing to pierce a child's ears for decorative reasons, my nerves were plucked a bit raw.

Anyway, I'm in agreement with most of the other mamas who have posted. I'm all for piercings (have quite a few myself), but won't be getting any for ds until he's ready to ask for them and take care of them.
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#11 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 02:12 PM
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i don't plan on getting my kids' ears pierced until they're at least teenagers.

BUT

if my son (if i had one) wanted his ears pierced, that's fine. i have a real issue with 'girls only/boys only' things and i don't feel ear piercing is a girls only thing.
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#12 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 02:19 PM
 
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Shann,

I don't think on mdc you wuold get many whose opinions would be different depending on the gender of the child. So your question here would probably get the same responses as on the other post.

Personally, none of my children, of either gender, would get piercings because of my choice. It's not my body to make such decisions about. If they ask, they will be expected to wait until they are old enough to fully understand the implications, and care for them themselves. I don't set an age for that - one child may be old enough at ten, another at twelve - we'll deal with the issue if and when it arrives.

I just don't see that I have a right to have my child's body altered in any way, regardless of how good I think it might look. Someone once told me to get someone else to take my girls to have their ears pierced, then they would look great, but if they cried, it wouldnt have upset me. :

But gender doesn't come into it - my personal sense of right and wrong is not influenced by gender stereotypes.
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#13 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 02:19 PM
 
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I view piercings for little boys the same way as piercings for little girls.

My son doesn't have any piercings.

I'll leave it at that, as this doesn't feel like a thread welcoming general discussion.

peace,
alsoSarah

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#14 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 02:47 PM
 
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I talked about my DS in the other ear ring post...
DS (now 10) began to ask to get his ear pierced when he was 7. DH has 2 ear rings in one ear, and he wanted to be like Dad! I told DS he has to wait until he was 10, that is how old I was when I got mine done. Old enough to take care if it with out being nagged :LOL
DS got his piercing this last September, just 1. I do like it. My MIL even got him a silver skull earing for Xmas. He has already asked for another one! He told me he does not want another piercing right now, maybe when he gets to Jr. High.

Kristina; wife to Max, Mom to Tristan (17) and Zackariah (7) and Lillian (5)
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#15 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 04:27 PM
 
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I am undecided on what I consider an appropriate age for piercings for children. My ds is 3.5 years old, and at some point, I would probably allow him to get his ear(s) pierced if he asks, but I haven't decided at what age yet. I am expecting a girl in April, and I feel no differently about allowing her to get hers pierced. Interestingly, my dh has several ear piercings in both ears and regularly wears one in each...yet, my son identifes earrings with girls! Ds actually said to me the other day, "Well you know how I can tell if someone is a girl and I am not really sure? It's because they wear earrings." How did that happen?!?
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#16 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 11:31 PM
 
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The more children I have, the more I learn. I had my oldest dd's ears pierced at 6 months. I wouldn't do that again. I had my second dd's ears pierced the first time at 3. I wouldn't do that again either. She just turned 9 and just got them re-pierced. She's taken VERY good care of them. I'm glad I waited until she was 9 this time. As for my boys...I asked my ds, who's 5.5 in a joking way if he wanted his ears pierced. I thought for sure he would say no. At first he did. About an hour later, however, he said "mommy, actually I would like to get my ears pierced". I explained to him that while I was just kidding that if he still wanted them pierced in a couple years I would be more than happy to let him. I feel the same way about my boys as I (finally) feel about my girls. No earrings until they are old enough to take care of them, but when that time comes I'm absolutely happy to allow it.
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#17 of 29 Old 01-28-2004, 11:59 PM
 
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Same rules for my son as with my daughters.
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#18 of 29 Old 01-29-2004, 10:55 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Britishmum

I don't think on mdc you wuold get many whose opinions would be different depending on the gender of the child.

You guys must not have read the other thread. Many people said that this simply wasn't an issue for boys because to a son they would just say no. Many!

That said, I am not one of them. :LOL I would be very cautious as I am allergic to almost everything (I can wear titanium, platinum, or rhodium; no nickel, no steel, no gold of any K, no silver... I could go on and on ) and my son has already exhibited symptoms of metal allergy. He fell asleep in his carseat wearing a pair of overalls with metal adjusters and woke up with a rash that lasted for two days on one side of his face & neck, and required a great deal of benadryl cream.

So, after discussing the risk of allergy and the cleanliness issue, I'd be all in favor of my little man getting his ear(s) pierced. It's totally his decision. I don't see it as a huge thing; yes, it can be permanent but the holes can close and you're not forced to wear earrings (unless you start stretching things, but that's a whole different story). I'd want my son to be, at the very least, 1)verbal 2)potty trained (evidence that he can take care of his body) and 3)able to brush his teeth on his own (more evidence). Same requirements I have for a girl-child.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#19 of 29 Old 01-29-2004, 01:31 PM
 
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My son has an earring. We did it when he was 9.

DS: 18 DD: 15 DD: 8  angel1.gif 11/10  angel1.gif 4/11
  adoptionheart-1.gifDD: 3  angel1.gif 8/11

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#20 of 29 Old 01-29-2004, 04:40 PM
 
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Um, I responded to another post here accidentally, oops.

Since I had to edit this anyway I'll add if DS wants to get his ear/s pierced when he's old enough and responsible enough to take care of them that's fine with me.
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#21 of 29 Old 02-01-2004, 12:39 AM
 
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I am one of the mother's who said that I will get my son's hair cut when he asks for a hair cut. I will also allow him to get his ears pierced when he asks for it. It's not my place to make decisions like this for him. I do however, think little boys with an earring are really cute. I have many piercings (and tattoos) myself. If DS wants any piercings, he can have them. But I have to be sure he really understands what he is doing and what is involved with the care.

Kathi

:::Mom to 5 adult children and 8 year old, Dakota "Why do they call it homeschool, we're never at home?"
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#22 of 29 Old 02-03-2004, 01:16 AM
 
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TBH, I have never seen a little boy with long hair and an earring and am having a hard time picturing it not looking like a little girl. can you post a pic, or a link to one?


I say the same rules would apply to a boy or a girl.
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#23 of 29 Old 02-03-2004, 10:45 AM
 
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Goodness, I've seen lots of them! :LOL No pictures though.. it'd be kind of rude yo take a picture of a stranger's kid!

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#24 of 29 Old 02-03-2004, 01:35 PM
 
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To answer the original question: sure, I would allow my ds to get an earring if he wanted. I would want him to wait until he was about 5 or so, just so he would understand about cleaning and taking care of it.

Now, OT, but sort of related:

When dd was 5, she decided to get her ears pierced. We live in a very crunchy, progressive area with many tatto / piercing parlors. I called AT LEAST 4 of them and had the SAME conversation with all.

Me: I'd like to bring my daughter in to get her ears pierced. She's 5 years old.

Shop: Oh, no, we don't pierce anyone under 16.

Me: oh. Not even ears?

Shop: No, no children at all for anything.

Me: OK, its just that I had heard I should use a professional piercer rather than take her to the mall..

Shop: MALL? Oh no! Do NOT take her to the mall. And not a jewelry store either!! A professional piercer is the only safe option!

Me: OK, well, do you know any who would peirce her ears?

Shop: No, they don't take children....

Etc. Did anyone else have this experience?
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#25 of 29 Old 02-05-2004, 12:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh yes, mamacrab ! I had the same sort of conversation with piercers when I wanted to get my boys' ears pierced !! And it was SOOO frustrating ! I was determined to get their ears pierced, so I wasn't planning on taking no for an answer. There are actually pro-piercers who will do it, if you look hard enough. But I ended up having to get their ears pierced at a jewelry store.
Things went very well, so I didn't have any bad experiences.
BTW, my oldest boy (age 7) has decided that he wants both of his ears double-pierced (he has single piercings in both ears now), and I agreed to let him get them. So it's off to the piercers again this weekend ! YAY ! I STILL think it's cute , so I am all for this ! I am actually hoping my other ds (age 5 ) will decide the same thing when he sees his brother's new piercings, but I'm not gonna force the issue. I may say something like "Look how cool your brother's ears look with TWO earrings in each now !" But I won't insist ! LOL !
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#26 of 29 Old 02-11-2004, 01:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just so everybody knows...I DID end up getting BOTH boys' ears DOUBLE PIERCED ! And we ALL LOVE IT ! They are SO cute ! I am glad I had them done !
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#27 of 29 Old 02-11-2004, 05:11 PM
 
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In my family, little children of either gender do not get their ears pierced. I perceive it to be a fairly grown up thing to do - at least teenager. Dd1 (now 7 and in second grade) has asked a couple of times - as some kids in her class have them - but it absolutely would not happen at her age.

When I was a kid, I asked - can't remember how old I was. Dad's rule was "when you are 18 or move out of the house". After he passed away, mom did let me get them done (I was the last girl in my class to get them - age 13). Pretty much a novelty - they grew back after a year or two. Had them repierced when I was in early college. Same thing. Haven't worn earrings in almost 15 years - but I still have the marks. Doesn't really bother me.

Odd thing - in response to the OP - I truthfully would be less likely to have a son's ears pierced than a daughter's (though I would be not crazy about either one) BUT I think long hair and an earring on grown men is rather attractive (if you have the right look - my dh could not pull it off....)
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#28 of 29 Old 02-11-2004, 05:40 PM
 
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I will expect my children to wait until the teenage years. I had my ears pierced at age twelve; I'm not sure when dh and I will decide for the children, but understanding the decision and taking responsibility for it will be important concerns.

Although I basically think pierced ears are as acceptable for boys as for girls, I believe there are bigger implications for boys because pierced ears are not the cultural norm for boys. I'd want to have some thoughtful discussions with my son about it before he made his decision. Somethings I'd want him to consider are that it might be cool in his current community/school/culture but what if we moved or he chose a career in a more conservative area/profession. Yes, the holes can grow closed, but there's usually a dimple or scar.

Another thing to consider is interfering with accupressure points. My best friend in high school's mother resisted letting her get her ears pierced then finally took her to an acupucturist and had them mark where her ears could be pierced without interfering with pressure points.

Regards,
Sarah
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#29 of 29 Old 02-20-2004, 05:25 AM
 
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My son asked to have one ear pierced when in 5th grade...that was years ago. I had/have no problems with it, and took him to a local mall. No probs. He wore his hair about elbow-length then. Since that time (it's been about 10 years) he's let his ear close up and cut his hair. We lived in a fairly 'redneck' community...and he endured some teasing, but insisted on maintaining his right to be different. We live in a more accepting era now. The same kids who probably teased him about his long hair probably wear it long now that it's somewhat more accepted. Times change, don't they!!
His two sisters have pierced ears and belly buttons. One sis has an 'industrial' in the tragus of one ear. We went to a professional for the belly button and tragus piercings, and the artist was very up-front with showing me how the items are sterilized, and what she was using. I held my daughter's hand while it was done and gave her the support she wanted (I didn't want to push the 'dreaded smothering mom' thing on her.) Surprisingly, she asked me to remain with her and thanked me for the support afterwards.
Okay...all things being equal....I have drawn the line with my minor girls when it came to ink and facial piercings.
I personally have a hard time accepting facial piercings on my daughters or son. I have no prejudice if anyone else's kid has facial piercings, it's just my issue.
I asked my daughters to please wait until they are 18 to do that, and seriously think about it.
My 19 year old daughter got a very low-key tattoo on her wrist, a simple geometric shape...I noticed it, and privately asked her how it felt to have it done....but since she is >18 now, it's not my concern...didn't scold her, and I respect her choices even if I don't agree with them.
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