Teacher took photos of dc without our knowledge/consent. WWYD? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-19-2009, 01:18 PM
 
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So do people with children never leave their homes? Never go to the grocery store, or the park, or the mall, or visit relatives? What about pediatrician's offices - there are dozens of people there, easy to follow a mom home, right?

I would think (if I lived that way) that chances (which are virtually nil) of child abduction are much greater in public places where children hang out. I just can't see a man perusing papers and magazines at home looking for information, when he can drive 1/2 mile down the street to a park with swings and find dozens of kids to stalk.

I dunno. I'm just laid back. It's just such a safe world - strangers aren't the fear, it's people they already know - statistically speaking. I guess I'm glad we're safe in today's world, zall.

JMO, of course. Just rambling.

SANDRA, 41 year old VERY laid-back mama to VERY free range kids Brett (16), Justus (11), Autumn (4), and Ayla (1)... four perfect NCB's! :::
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Old 07-19-2009, 01:38 PM
 
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So do people with children never leave their homes? Never go to the grocery store, or the park, or the mall, or visit relatives? What about pediatrician's offices - there are dozens of people there, easy to follow a mom home, right?

I would think (if I lived that way) that chances (which are virtually nil) of child abduction are much greater in public places where children hang out. I just can't see a man perusing papers and magazines at home looking for information, when he can drive 1/2 mile down the street to a park with swings and find dozens of kids to stalk.

I dunno. I'm just laid back. It's just such a safe world - strangers aren't the fear, it's people they already know - statistically speaking. I guess I'm glad we're safe in today's world, zall.

JMO, of course. Just rambling.
We leave the house every day. You might be interested to know that I'm not concerned about pedophiles with the photo thing. I just think it's personal- like staring, kind of- and inappropriate and rude to take photos of someone without asking.

For me, it's not a safety issue, per se, it's a personal boundaries issue. A photo is a personal thing. That's all. It doesn't have to be justified with a "safety" clause.

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
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Old 07-19-2009, 05:34 PM
 
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Actually, most children are abducted by specific people looking for that specific child. For people who are in nasty custody battles and such, the risk is when the parents aren't with their children, so things like schools, camps and such are, yes, risky places because its hard to watch 10 kids going in different directions at pick up time from camp, or a counselor may not know that even though child says "Daddy", child isn't allowed to leave with daddy. So if daddy learns that little Johny is at ABC summer camp, the risk does get much higher that he will have access to the child. In the park, mom is likely to be watching little Johny (especially if she knows there is a risk) and would see trouble coming. And for schools where children may be allowed to leave unaccompanied, all he needs to do is wait for the right moment. Its a scary world if you are stuck in this sort of situation. And if you have moved away to get away from someone and your ex suddenly sees your kid pop up in a photo from another city, your safety just plummeted.
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Old 07-19-2009, 06:12 PM
 
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Evan&Anna's Mom, I agree about the whole witness protection/hiding the child thing... that's gotta be a very rare instance, though.

I wasn't aiming my musings at anyone in particular on this thread, to EdnaMarie. I've read it before though - not wanting your child's picture taken for "safety". I just don't get it. Unless her social security number, address, and garage door code is on her t-shirt and readable, I just can't understand why it's a safety thing. That's all. No biggie. I don't worry about it, and I just was curious. That's all. Everyone has their reasons, I just can't see harm, zall.

SANDRA, 41 year old VERY laid-back mama to VERY free range kids Brett (16), Justus (11), Autumn (4), and Ayla (1)... four perfect NCB's! :::
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Old 07-19-2009, 06:46 PM
 
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Evan&Anna's Mom, I agree about the whole witness protection/hiding the child thing... that's gotta be a very rare instance, though.

I wasn't aiming my musings at anyone in particular on this thread, to EdnaMarie. I've read it before though - not wanting your child's picture taken for "safety". I just don't get it. Unless her social security number, address, and garage door code is on her t-shirt and readable, I just can't understand why it's a safety thing. That's all. No biggie. I don't worry about it, and I just was curious. That's all. Everyone has their reasons, I just can't see harm, zall.
I know you don't see the harm, and I certainly didn't feel you were aiming your comments at me. I was aiming my comments at you, though. There ARE people on here who see it as a safety issue, and there is a bit of safety involved, but I do think there's some harm in it.

I guess it reminds me of the topic we had in the Multicultural Families forum in which it was asked whether one would let foreign tourists take their families' or children's picture. Obviously in that case the purpose is just the tourists' enjoyment- they might see what they view as a "typical specimen" or a particularly cute child- and want to take that home. Who hasn't people-watched on vacation?

But I think it was generally agreed that one always ASKS. There's nothing wrong with taking pictures of the natives on vacation, be they natives of Africa, Asia, or America. But there is something wrong, somehow, with taking their picture without asking, whether or not they are aware.

Same with kids.

It's personal.

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
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Old 07-19-2009, 06:51 PM
 
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why do you feel so uncomfortable about it? they were just innocent pictures weren't they? (not naked obviously etc.)
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Old 07-20-2009, 12:48 PM
 
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My preteen daughter comes home and tells me Mr. Smith took a special picture of her "to remember her by" and I shouldn't raise an eyebrow because I have to let other people enjoy her?
Assuming your daughter will be attending school, Mr. Smith could look her up in the yearbook if he's got a thing for her. Her friends will surely take a ton of pictures of her as she becomes a teen, too. Are you going to confiscate them or forbid this?

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But there is something wrong, somehow, with taking their picture without asking, whether or not they are aware.
I really don't get it. When you guys go to Disney or the state fair or a birthday party or fireworks or the beach, do you worry that other people are taking pictures? Do you forbid wedding photographers from taking cute shots of your kids at family weddings? Do you never take pictures in these situations yourself? I mean, should we make taking photos of other people illegal? Good grief.

Life involves a lot of pictures, taken by a lot of people. It just....does.

grateful mother to DD, 1/04, and DS, 2/08

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Old 07-20-2009, 03:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom View Post
Actually, most children are abducted by specific people looking for that specific child. For people who are in nasty custody battles and such, the risk is when the parents aren't with their children, so things like schools, camps and such are, yes, risky places because its hard to watch 10 kids going in different directions at pick up time from camp, or a counselor may not know that even though child says "Daddy", child isn't allowed to leave with daddy. So if daddy learns that little Johny is at ABC summer camp, the risk does get much higher that he will have access to the child. In the park, mom is likely to be watching little Johny (especially if she knows there is a risk) and would see trouble coming. And for schools where children may be allowed to leave unaccompanied, all he needs to do is wait for the right moment. Its a scary world if you are stuck in this sort of situation. And if you have moved away to get away from someone and your ex suddenly sees your kid pop up in a photo from another city, your safety just plummeted.
There are always forms of who the child can be released to, and if it is the case that daddy is NOT allowed to get the child, I am sure mommy let the camp and counselor know, explicitly, that daddy is NOT to pick up.
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Old 07-20-2009, 04:03 PM
 
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I guess I'm not that worried about it because we are under such constant surveillance (which I am worried about!). Traffic lights have cameras, street lights have cameras, atm's have cameras, every store you go into have camera, people have camera's in their phones, in their sunglasses (for real). So i'm kinda desensitized to picture taking. with telephoto lenses you can take amazing pictures from so far away the people would have NO WAY to know they were being photographed.

I totally respect people's feelings/ beliefs if they do not wish to be photographed, or opt out of photo releases at schools and such, but I guess I feel like, for me and my family, we are being watched all the time anyway. And frankly I would rather my kid's teacher have a photo of them than the "government"
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Old 07-20-2009, 06:14 PM
 
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I guess I'm not that worried about it because we are under such constant surveillance (which I am worried about!). Traffic lights have cameras, street lights have cameras, atm's have cameras, every store you go into have camera, people have camera's in their phones, in their sunglasses (for real). So i'm kinda desensitized to picture taking. with telephoto lenses you can take amazing pictures from so far away the people would have NO WAY to know they were being photographed.

I totally respect people's feelings/ beliefs if they do not wish to be photographed, or opt out of photo releases at schools and such, but I guess I feel like, for me and my family, we are being watched all the time anyway. And frankly I would rather my kid's teacher have a photo of them than the "government"
Funny- I'm the opposite. I don't mind pictures for professional / societal use, most of which are in storage, I guess because it's for a greater good. Whereas the pics the OP described are for the good of an individual other than the photographee.

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
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