Lifes little luxuries...then and now... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 24 Old 07-16-2009, 12:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So...before we were parents...some of life's little luxuries for us...

1. Spending all weekend in our PJs in bed, playing scrabble, watching ABC and occasionally getting up to scrounge around for food to eat...

2. Long breakfasts spent chatting, flirting, etc...you know, we used to have very funny and interesting things to say!!

3. Leaving things around on the floor and coffee tables...wherever, you know!

4. Going to bed whenever we wanted.

5. Picking up and leaving to go to the mountains or out to breakfast...we could go from sitting around the house to out the door in as little time as it took me to throw on a hat and a pair of flip flops!


Now that we've had kids, our ideas of "little luxuries" have drastically changed! Some of our new favorite little "sweet stuffs" in life:

1. Getting a couple of gulps of hot coffee in the morning, before the mug has to be put up out of the way...only to be forgotten and finished cold! God those few little hot gulps...they are SO sweet!

2. Watching the sun come up with a baby who doesn't want to jump right out of bed first thing...that is so sweet and nice...enjoyin the calm of the morning with my warm girl in my arms, just watching the sun come up on the trees!

3. A sleepy kid who goes to bed early on a day when mama and dada happen not to be too tired for grown up time...

4. Driving somewhere alone in the car and pumping the music up loud...not even because I ever really liked to listen to it loud....more just because I can because there is no little person in the back! It makes me feel WILD! I turn on Alanis Morrisette and jam out, loving every angsty moment of her! And if people look at me funny, for jammin; like that...I think "who cares! There is no "sharing song" in MY car today mister!"

5. Sleeping through the night. <---- Sweetest thing I know.

6. The feeling of a clean house, when I'm sitting in my chair, listening to the sound of *nothing*, and my body is not moving....that's sooooo nice.


So...what are some of the indulgences you used to enjoy....and how has your list of "life's little sweetnesess" changed since having kids?

Me and DH ...lovin' DD dust.gif(6/08) and DS kid.gif(11/09) Plus NEW BABY!! DD baby.gif (UC-5/12) We heartbeat.gif Water Birth/Homebirth/No Vax or Circ/BF/BW/Country Livin'! chicken3.gif

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#2 of 24 Old 07-16-2009, 12:27 PM
 
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then- alone time

now- holding a sleeping baby while my 3 yo curls up under my arm, on the couch


I really miss going out with my husband tho'.

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#3 of 24 Old 07-16-2009, 03:08 PM
 
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I really miss at times the sleeping in on weekends, watching movies in bed all day while eating cake, going out without planning out all the logistics. Flying home to visit family was a lot more relaxing too!

Now, I love the snuggles and kisses I get from DS. I love waking up seeing his little face next to mine. I love when he gets out of bed in the morning and comes to find me. I get excited when I can sleep until 7:30.

Kirsten, mama to Monkey since May 2007 and Bean born 11/7/09
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#4 of 24 Old 07-16-2009, 03:11 PM
 
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I don't remember anymore.

SANDRA, 41 year old VERY laid-back mama to VERY free range kids Brett (16), Justus (11), Autumn (4), and Ayla (1)... four perfect NCB's! :::
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#5 of 24 Old 07-16-2009, 03:24 PM
 
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Before:
Long, drawn out meals at exclusive restaurants and splitting a bottle of wine with DH.

Randomly picking out indie movies to watch at the urban theater Friday nights, followed by coffee, dessert, chatting and sleeping late.

Mountain biking. Skiing. Making candles.

Now:
Squeals of happiness and being bowled over by love-filled hugs from little soft arms when I come back from my (infrequent) separations from my DSs.

Being leaned on by small soft warm bodies as I read children's books at dusk.

Watching two sweet innocent open-minded faces as they work together on their uber serious pretend play and form brotherly bonds that (I hope) will outlast me on this earth.

Field trips to museums and new parks and playgrounds where I can observe with joy my DSs' wonder at their new discoveries and achievements.

aran .......... Mr. aran .......... DS1 .......... DS2
BIL Oct. 1961 - Jun. 2009 taken by cancer
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#6 of 24 Old 07-16-2009, 04:02 PM
 
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I miss going to the bathroom by myself. And showering by myself. Or taking a bath by myself. And sleeping by myself/with my husband. That's sad--basic hygiene are luxuries now, lol.

And I really miss those brain cells that have yet to come back post-partum. But I wouldn't trade my kids for anything.
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#7 of 24 Old 07-16-2009, 04:32 PM
 
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Then - Shopping for myself, sleep, jumping in the car and taking a road trip and gormet cooking

Now - tiny hands wrapped by mine, DD1 getting off the bus in the afternoons, both girls helping me in the garden, summer nights when it's still light outside and both girls are sound asleep, shopping for the girls, sitting down for dinner even if its not gormet!

Nikki, married to Ryan my and blessed with totally amazing and unpredictable DD1 7-25-00 and DD2 1-12-08.
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#8 of 24 Old 07-16-2009, 05:14 PM
 
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Then:
Sleeping in on week-ends, going out for a late breakfast with DH
Giving myself a mani/pedi/facial after a LONG bath
Reading a good book while sitting outside in the sun, sipping ice cream floats
Going to a challenging yoga or dance class
Dancing tango until 1 a.m.
Working on a really funky photoshoot with DH
Staying up all night talking with DH or watching a really weird foreign film

Now:
Showing by myself
A clean apartment (for like 30 minutes before it gets dirty again!!)
More than 5 consecutive hours of sleep
My DD laughing out of pure joy
Watching DH and DD play together
Feeling energetic enough for grownup time after DD has gone to sleep early!
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#9 of 24 Old 07-16-2009, 05:20 PM
 
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Then - being able to do what I wanted when I wanted.

Now - a nap --- alone.

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#10 of 24 Old 07-16-2009, 06:36 PM
 
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Gosh, I basically went straight from highschool to having kids so I never got to be an adult sans children, lol. I'll tell you in 20 or so years a better response. I do however miss the alone time and quiet.

Amy - mom to Anna-Rebekah 14, Logan 13, Christian 8, Ethan 7 and Adan 07/15/08
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#11 of 24 Old 07-16-2009, 07:22 PM
 
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Then:

Spontaneous date nights that included movies, long dinners and a drink, or two.

Sleeping in together, and spending all day in bed on a Saturday.

Pre-pregnancy body (that "pouch" is the end of me )

Now:

The giggles, the sweet giggle.

Snuggling with DS in bed every morning

Seeing DS love on his daddy.

Being a mom.
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#12 of 24 Old 07-16-2009, 08:14 PM
 
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I was late getting married and having kids. I had a career and a lucrative job until I went part-time after dd went to school. Honestly, what I miss the most from the "before" is that I would take last minute vacations to Europe. I'd get "last minute" fare on Wednesday and be on a plane Thursday night, back at work Monday morning. I REALLY miss those trips. But I would not give them up for snuggling with dd every morning... my little 7 yo co-sleeper.
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#13 of 24 Old 07-16-2009, 09:12 PM
 
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Then – spending Sunday afternoon at the pub reading the entire New York Times, seeing every movie at the art house theatre, getting pedicures and massages
Now – very occasionally getting to sleep in until 7 a.m., having a beer on the porch when DH comes home and plays with the boy, going to the library for books to read during naptime

Megan, loving her sweet rainbow1284.gif boys, born Aug. 2008 and Feb. 2011, and their sister, born still March 2007 candle.gif
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#14 of 24 Old 07-17-2009, 03:04 AM
 
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LOL - this made me laugh, thankyou.

Before I had children:

- Long Sunday drives to the beach were we'd lazily drink a beer or two and then think, 'ah stuff it, let's just lay here on the sand and sunbake for a few hours'
- Going to a cafe and having a hot coffee with my friends (and I never thought once about how close it was to the edge of the table, or whether or not they served cheese sandwhiches and glasses of milk)
- Spending money on high heels

After children:

- A long hot shower, ahhhh, the serenity
- Finding playgrounds where the equipment is designed for small children, so that I don't have to run around trying to stop a toddler from hitting dirt
- Car parking spots that have enough room to manevour a pram through the gap to the boot
- Waking up and knowing that someone will make me smile that day

Mel - Loving mama and wife to the A team
From little things, big things grow
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#15 of 24 Old 07-17-2009, 11:04 AM
 
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Then -

Reading 3 different Sunday papers

Driving a hour each way to have lunch at a favorite restaurant

Now -

A sweet OJ moustache kiss from DS!

Mom to DS, born fall 05 after ,,, wife/best friend to DH We have
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#16 of 24 Old 07-17-2009, 12:18 PM
 
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THEN:
Going on adults only vacation (Jamaica).
Going anywhere I wanted, when I wanted
Not worrying about anyone but me

NOW:
I love to hear giggles
I love when DS falls asleep in my arms
I love that I have something MORE in life than just me (& DH)!!!
I look forward to what DS is going to learn & do next
I also love when we leave DS with someone so that we can go to the movies or out to dinner.
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#17 of 24 Old 07-17-2009, 12:25 PM
 
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The best luxury is hearing ds with an extended case of the giggles. It's the best sound I've ever heard and so perfect I can't even remember the "before parent" luxuries! :

And ds loves to spend about 30 minutes lolling about in bed after he wakes up (with or without me). Perfect leisure time!
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#18 of 24 Old 07-17-2009, 12:40 PM
 
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I had a baby when I was 17 so I really don't know what life is like as an adult without kids. I'm going to be 30 in a few months so I've spent my entire adult life raising kids. My oldest is 12 so by the time my youngest moves out of the house I'll probably have grandkids to help raise. I don't think I will ever know what life is like without kids. I'm so jealous of the people that can just wake up Saturday morning and go away for the weekend with their SO.
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#19 of 24 Old 07-17-2009, 02:12 PM
 
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THEN:
- Having time to work out at the gym after work and not worrying about what time I had to get home
- going out to dinner w/DH every weekend, no planning involved, whatever time we wanted
- reading the ENTIRE Sunday paper, with hot coffee, on the couch until 11AM
- endless gardening
- beer or wine with dinner w/o having to worry about how early I might have to wake up the next morning
- mindless browsing in bookstores, libraries or craft supply stores

NOW:
- when DD sleeps past 6:30
- when DD sleeps past 6:30 in her OWN bed
- going to the gym at least one night a week, even if it's only for an hour or so and finally realizing it's ok if I am not the one to see her off to dreamland once in a while
- seeing DD get really psyched to hear whatever her song of the week is, over and over and over and how repetition just doesn't get old for toddlers -- she's genuinely happy if she can hear the Hokey Pokey 12 times in a row and I love that face
- hearing her say "I yuv you" totally unprompted and out of the blue
- a glass of red wine on a Friday night with pizza (delivered---we NEVER used to do delivery but now it feels like a luxury to not have to get in the car for the millionth time in a week...not to mention it's still cheaper than when we used to actually go out for dinner!)
- when I find time to give myself a pedicure
- those RARE days where there have been no meltdowns, battles or the need for multiple negotiations/choice offerings/explanations...just the pure bliss of being together happily
- seeing DD's grandparents in a totally different light and having the time of their lives because of her
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#20 of 24 Old 07-17-2009, 03:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SandraS View Post
I don't remember anymore.
LOL! This.

Then:
#1. being able to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, for however long I wanted.
#2. not feeling guilty about #1.

Now:
Everything. I can't sum it up with funny things they say or do. I just have to say overall everything is sooooo different and I am just grateful that 90+% of it is positive.
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#21 of 24 Old 07-17-2009, 04:08 PM
 
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We're having a stinker of a day here today, so I'm reading all your "thens" and thinking "Oh, that sounds lovely," and reading all your "nows" and being a big grump, then trying to remind myself that that stuff really is lovely too, and that I'll miss it when it's gone. But right now? Yeah, sitting on the couch with coffee and a newspaper for however long I want sounds like heaven.

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#22 of 24 Old 07-17-2009, 04:47 PM
 
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Then:
- Sleeping in on a Saturday, Sunday, and any other day I didn't have work.

Now:
- Being woken up by a sweet little boy saying, "Mommy, you waking up soon? Let's wake up and play with cars!"

~~~

Then: having several hours at night to relax, wind down, and do whatever I want.

Now: Having several hours when I get the kids to bed, read stories, and snuggle.

~~~

Then: Having all the time I wanted to take pictures and scrapbook.

Now: Having a reason to take the pictures and scrapbook memories.
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#23 of 24 Old 07-18-2009, 01:25 AM
 
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Then:
Sleeping in until noon AFTER having slept through the whole night
Watching a whole movie, at full sound, uninterrupted, whether in a movie theater or at home even if it's not actually turning out to be that great of a movie
Going to the bathroom by myself without feeling the need to hurry
Having personal space boundaries that no one ever violated

Now:
Sleeping in until 8
The absence of sound and movement, the stillness, that means my DD has finally fallen asleep
The look of absolute love and joy on her face when I walk into a room
Seeing my parents as grandparents and the joy that she brings to them and how much she loves them right back
Having the perfect reason to avoid any activity/event I'd just rather not attend

Mama to my Addie Bug wool.gif (10/2008) and angel1.gif (6/2010); nursing student & childbirth educator
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#24 of 24 Old 07-18-2009, 01:35 AM
 
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Then....

Sleeping in and never getting out of your PJ's, renting movies and takeout

Reading a book all afternoon with no interuptions

Don't remember

Now....

Taking a long bath

Reading a chapter of a book

Morning cuddles

Kid giggles


Hmmm. I know one day I will get to read a long novel and sleep all morning, but right now I can't think of anything better than what I have. I say that being completely out of the baby stage of no sleep though! Before they slept through the night, all I could dream of WAS SLEEP! Ahh, sweet sleep!

Mom of two boys (7/05 and 2/09)
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