Is this too tacky? 1st Birthday/wish list - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 11:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello there everyone,
I'm working on the invitations for my daughter's first birthday and would like to include a note that says something like: "Baby Kitikatuka has created a wish list at onlinestore.com. Search Wish Lists for Baby Kitikatuka." This way, we can direct people to items that we really need and/or toys that I know are safe (bpa/phthalate-free) and toys that we'd love to get (cool wooden toys, organic cloth dolls and the like), rather than end up with a pile of beeping, light up plastic stuff.

My husband isn't sure about including this note and thinks it may not go over too well when people read it. What do you think?
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#2 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 11:12 AM
 
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He's right. Don't do it. If people ask, you can tell them, otherwise you can always return gifts and get something else if it's really not ok.
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#3 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 11:12 AM
 
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People always ask for a few gift ideas anyway, so why not?

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#4 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 11:15 AM
 
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I wouldn't do it. I know it's a pain to receive gifts you can't really use, but unfortunately, it's still tacky to list a registry, or in this case a wishlist, on an invitation. Hopefully people will ask what type of things you and baby need, and in that case, you can guide them to the registry.

I hope it works out for you!
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#5 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 11:16 AM
 
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I wouldn't do it. If anyone asks you can direct them there.
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#6 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 11:32 AM
 
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I find it tacky. You're inviting these people because you want to celebrate this special day - by including the wishlist in the invitation you're putting an emphasis on the presents and not the presence.
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#7 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 11:40 AM
 
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On invites for my children's birthdays I always include something like...

"Your presense is present enough."

I do not want anyone to feel like they have to bring a gift. It's the celebration of life that is important.

Married to DH 7 years and have three fantastic kiddos! DS 6, DD 4, and DS 2 ...... lo and behold another is on the way!

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#8 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 11:42 AM
 
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You should never make any mention of gifts in an invitation. It's tacky. Especially for a 1 year old, I would think most people would just roll their eyes. The best way to communicate this info is if someone specifically asks. (Grandmothers are also good for spreading this info word-of-mouth) Though again, I wouldn't even ask for a 1 year old, as she can't really communicate what she wants.
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#9 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 11:51 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kitikatuka View Post
Hello there everyone,
I'm working on the invitations for my daughter's first birthday and would like to include a note that says something like: "Baby Kitikatuka has created a wish list at onlinestore.com. Search Wish Lists for Baby Kitikatuka." This way, we can direct people to items that we really need and/or toys that I know are safe (bpa/phthalate-free) and toys that we'd love to get (cool wooden toys, organic cloth dolls and the like), rather than end up with a pile of beeping, light up plastic stuff.

My husband isn't sure about including this note and thinks it may not go over too well when people read it. What do you think?
Don't do it.

She didn't create the list; you did. She doesn't need/ want those things; you do. If your guests don't get you something you think is "cool," thank them graciously and donate it to a shelter or save it for a holiday T for T drive. Chances are, they put thought into whatever gift they chose, even if it wasn't on your list.

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#10 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 11:51 AM
 
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Don't do it.

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#11 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 12:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by KirstenMary View Post
Don't do it.

She didn't create the list; you did. She doesn't need/ want those things; you do. If your guests don't get you something you think is "cool," thank them graciously and donate it to a shelter or save it for a holiday T for T drive. Chances are, they put thought into whatever gift they chose, even if it wasn't on your list.
I agree with this, in the most gentle and nicest way possible.


ETA: I know the concerns about toxins in plastics are real, and your DD deserves to have safe toys, but I still think mentioning it on the invite won't go over very well.

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#12 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 12:00 PM
 
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I sent out a wish list to my parents but no one else.

What about just simply putting in a statement that you are trying to avoid plastics and use more natural toys with a list of 2 to 3 websites as a starting point? Plastics are an environmental and health issue so I think that could be okay. But as stated above, I'm tacky like that.

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#13 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 12:08 PM
 
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How about sending eco-friendly birthday invites? Maybe guests will get the hint without having it being spelled out for them.

http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/2007/...irthday-party/

http://www.tinyprints.com/eco-friendly-birthdays.htm

http://greenandcleanmom.org/eco-frie...ions-and-more/

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#14 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 12:10 PM
 
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Totally tacky. Don't do it.

It implies that gifts are expected. I agree that you should return the gifts you don't want or donate them to someone who does.

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#15 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 12:29 PM
 
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Totally tacky. Don't do it.
I agree.

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#16 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 12:37 PM
 
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.

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#17 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 12:39 PM
 
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Tackola. Don't do it and invitation should never include mention of presents, wish lists, etc... The purpose of the party is to celebrate your child's life with people who love her not to add to her playroom. People will ask ( I know I often do) and then you can tell them you like ecofriendly toys.

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#18 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 12:44 PM
 
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I wouldn't include it in the invite, but chances are people are going to ask for ideas, anyway; at least my family & friends did. But be prepared - only 1 person actually got something that we had suggested. Everyone else "was going to get abc, but saw xyz and couldn't pass it up." Fortunately, we've been pretty clear about not wanting plastic and/or *junk* since birth, so most of the gifts were things we would have bought dd ourselves.

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#19 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 12:46 PM
 
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For my daughter's birthday at the bottom of the invite, we listed her interests:

baby dolls
puppies
books
Shrek
playing outside

And almost everything that people brought was a real hit for her. She got a doll stroller and clothes, a doll, a stuffed Shrek , a few books, sprinkler toys and bubbles and some littlest pet shop puppies.

It was great!

And no one had to look up something on a registry or feel like we were telling them what to buy. And people who didn't know her too well, were able to find something that she would like and not have to worry about getting something that would go to waste. I hate that feeling - of getting a gift that just gets regifted.
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#20 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 12:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MamaCaveBear View Post
For my daughter's birthday at the bottom of the invite, we listed her interests:

baby dolls
puppies
books
Shrek
playing outside

And almost everything that people brought was a real hit for her. She got a doll stroller and clothes, a doll, a stuffed Shrek , a few books, sprinkler toys and bubbles and some littlest pet shop puppies.

It was great!

And no one had to look up something on a registry or feel like we were telling them what to buy. And people who didn't know her too well, were able to find something that she would like and not have to worry about getting something that would go to waste. I hate that feeling - of getting a gift that just gets regifted.

I think this is great. You really are going to get presents and it's nice that you could direct people to things your lo will LOVE. As a side my dd LOVED Shrek at that age, too, lol.
I think people want to know what your kid is really going to like/love/use. I know lots and lots of people asked me what she would want before her first Christmas and I did end up sending out an email with a wishlist of things I, as her mom who spends every single day with her, picked out things that I thought she would like. And people were glad that I had made it easier for them, that is the people who had asked. Everyone else just did what they wanted and we did get some things we gave away. Which to me is a waste, but I agree that people should be able to give what they want to.
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#21 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 01:04 PM
 
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But, even listing interests suggests a gift should be brought. If asked, I think it's great to say, "Oh, she's interested in x, y, and z." Other than that, I think no mention or suggestion of gifts should be made of gifts in any way, shape, or form.

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#22 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 01:04 PM
 
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Don't do it.

If people ask, that's another story. But asking? Tacky. Wording it as if the baby is asking? Even tackier.
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#23 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 01:36 PM
 
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I agree, tacky. Don't do it. If someone asks what she wants, direct them to the wishlist. Otherwise, let it alone and return or donate unwanted gifts.

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#24 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 01:57 PM
 
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no! don't do it.

when people mention they have made a registry without me asking for that information I make a point of not shopping from it.

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#25 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 01:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay - you all make very good points about this idea being in poor taste and have some excellent ideas for alternatives. I'll keep it off the invitation.

Thank you for weighing in, everyone!
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#26 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 02:18 PM
 
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He's right. Don't do it. If people ask, you can tell them, otherwise you can always return gifts and get something else if it's really not ok.
I agree.
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#27 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 02:18 PM
 
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We just had a bday party for ds and put "your presence is present enough" and did receive a few things, but those things were super "special" (a hand knit toy, an antique children's book etc). For your parents and your partner's parents I think its fine to send a email with a wish list registry, because you do *expect* them to buy something. But for other folks I would try to go "gift free" anyway, then you don't have to worry about people getting somethign you don't like, feeling put upon by having to purchase a present, feeling like they are not welcome if they can't/couldn't get a gift etc.
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#28 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 02:19 PM
 
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Tacky. sorry!

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#29 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 02:33 PM
 
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I find it tacky. You're inviting these people because you want to celebrate this special day - by including the wishlist in the invitation you're putting an emphasis on the presents and not the presence.
I know you said you were not going to include the registry, but I thought this was well-stated. I think if people ask, that's great and you can make suggestions. Otherwise, I would just stick to the facts of the party (where, when, etc.).
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#30 of 128 Old 08-04-2009, 03:29 PM
 
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Going against the grain, I think your note sounds gentle and to the point. Baby's R Us keeps your registry thru the 1st birthday for people to buy stuff. What that tells me is that is the societal norm.

I think if they are going to get you a gift folks would rather get things you want rather than guessing. At the very least, they can look at your websites and try to get stuff like that from a local store.

Unless you say no presents people are going to bring a present. May as well give them some ideas.
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