How do you handle christmas time birthdays? - Mothering Forums
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Parenting > How do you handle christmas time birthdays?
julesdsm's Avatar julesdsm 12:53 AM 08-07-2009
I know its still months away, but i've been thinking about what I want to do for ds's first birthday and infact, all his future birthdays. He was born December 26th, day after Christmas. I'm not sure how to handle a party, if i should even have one. I wonder if anyone would even attend, my family doesn't celebrate birthdays or christmas and dh's family all gets together on christmas. I know the inlaws are going to pressure us to just combine christmas and bday party. But I frankly didn't grow up with christmas, don't care much for it and don't want ds to miss out on having his own special day.

Any suggestions, what do you do for your lo's with similar b days?

TIA!!

lifeguard's Avatar lifeguard 01:18 AM 08-07-2009
Definitely vote for separate events. My birthday is in November & it was still combined with Christmas & I hated that. It totally made it feel like my birthday was unimportant. When they're young it really doesn't matter (a one year old doesn't know the difference) but once he's old enough to understand there should be something separate.
Brittany93's Avatar Brittany93 01:26 AM 08-07-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by julesdsm View Post
I know its still months away, but i've been thinking about what I want to do for ds's first birthday and infact, all his future birthdays. He was born December 26th, day after Christmas. I'm not sure how to handle a party, if i should even have one. I wonder if anyone would even attend, my family doesn't celebrate birthdays or christmas and dh's family all gets together on christmas. I know the inlaws are going to pressure us to just combine christmas and bday party. But I frankly didn't grow up with christmas, don't care much for it and don't want ds to miss out on having his own special day.

Any suggestions, what do you do for your lo's with similar b days?

TIA!!
And why should he miss out on his birthday, just because it's after Christmas? If people are going to be at your house at Christmas, then can't they be there for his birthday too?
circuitsndaisies's Avatar circuitsndaisies 01:35 AM 08-07-2009
She will be three this year.

Both years we have done something just for her birthday. Usually a party the week of her birthday and we only invite a few people. Grandparents are here for xmas anyway, so it works well.

I want to make every effort to keep her birthday separate from the holidays. December is a busy month around here. We have two December birthday and then Christmas. Whew. I am already starting to shop and save stuff back. lol.
annie2186's Avatar annie2186 01:37 AM 08-07-2009
oh, this is soooooooooo my problem! My DD1's b-day is Dec. 27th............only it gets worse - my DH's b-day is November 28th DD2's b-day is Nov. 29th and DSD's b-day is Dec. 13th

yeah - it sucks!

Usually what we do is have a "group" party (my nephew's b-day is Dec. 10th) where all family attends AND have their own b-day party too. The past two years I have kind of taken off DD1's b-day because she has been to little (last chance!! LOL).

I didn't grow up with "outsiders" coming to my party (maybe a stray uncle or something). Maybe just leave the door open for family but have a special party for the LO with just you and DH. Cake, balloons, decorations, presents - so he feels special.

Anyways - that is what I plan to do. Have a group party for ALL the kiddo's and have each of them on their actual b-day have a party with us, as well as anyone who WANTS to come over, KWIM?

Well, if this doesn't help at least you know you are not alone!
annie2186's Avatar annie2186 01:38 AM 08-07-2009
LOL - guess I should have just told you to look at my siggy instead of listing all the b-days again huh?
confustication's Avatar confustication 01:45 AM 08-07-2009
My birthday is 12/25, and even on the same day, it was a big deal to me that there was a separation... it was Christmas until about 3 pm, then it was my birthday.

DDs bday is Nov 29, and while there is a lot going on around that time- Thanksgiving, then getting ready for Christmas- her birthday is for her, and we focus on that. However, we aren't big 'party' people, and tend to do small family get togethers instead of massive stressful events.

DH grew up not celebrating Christmas and birthdays as well, and while we do celebrate, part of the reason we don't do huge celebrations is because I want to honor his comfort level as well. It really isn't a huge issue in our family interactions, if people don't like what we choose, they are welcome to grumble.
swd12422's Avatar swd12422 08:49 AM 08-07-2009
Same as a birthday at any other time of year -- if you don't give a child a Christmas gift and expect them to remember it in July for their birthday, don't give a December baby a combo gift/celebration either. Two holidays, two celebrations, two gifts (if you do gifts).
LuxPerpetua 10:21 AM 08-07-2009
DD's b-day is Dec. 22, so we face this problem as well. We absolutely celebrate her birthday apart from Christmas. We don't believe in huge birthday bashes or anything, so we spend her birthday making a homemade cake (this is our fun tradition), making ice cream, making punch or lemonade. We have family over and play games and open presents. As she gets older and wants friends at her birthday, I'm thinking of doing a half-birthday party in June.
artinhappiness's Avatar artinhappiness 10:42 AM 08-07-2009
My birthday is Dec 30th, and my DD was born on Dec 9th last year! (Add into the fact that DH has another daughter born on Dec 26th) Needless to say, December is a busy month for us as well!

It was extremely important to me growing up that my birthday was kept seperate from the holiday, and my mother did a very good job at it. It's harder when they're super small, but I remember fondly that on my birthday from about age 6 on, we usually had a special dinner out - the place was my choice - and the family party was combined with the pre-Christmas celebration for cake and presents only because there was quite a bit of travel involved for the relatives. (Close relatives like my grandmother would give presents on my actual birthday) When I got to be a pre-teen, this worked out well because I started having my "birthday party" in June so I could have a pool party with my friends, and just had the special dinner on the actual day in December.
JBaxter's Avatar JBaxter 10:51 AM 08-07-2009
My brothers bday is 12/20 and he always had christmas day bday. Everyone went to my grandmas and desert was a huge cake made by grandma decorated for his bday. SO basiclly he had bday gifts and christmas presents the same day.
SandraS's Avatar SandraS 11:19 AM 08-07-2009
Just like they were in June. I grew up with a brother born on 12/28, and now I have two children that are born around Christmas. I do exactly what I do for the August and March birthdays, no exceptions.
Alyantavid's Avatar Alyantavid 11:47 AM 08-07-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by SandraS View Post
Just like they were in June. I grew up with a brother born on 12/28, and now I have two children that are born around Christmas. I do exactly what I do for the August and March birthdays, no exceptions.
That. My bday is Dec 15 and my parents always had separate events for Christmas and my birthday. There's nothing worse than the combo gift in Christmas wrapping paper.
Cativari's Avatar Cativari 11:52 AM 08-07-2009
DS was born on the 29th of December. Right now he's too little to care but when he's older I'll prolly do half birthdays for parties with friends.
mommajb's Avatar mommajb 12:03 PM 08-07-2009
My friend's son was born the 26th of December. It is also her husband's birthday (their anniversary is the 27th? so a busy time of year to be sure). This babe is #4, 3rd boy so they have all the toys and what not they need. Despite that I am sure he will get birthday presents wrapped in birthday paper. His father pledges to make sure of that ut seriously why would it be any other way. If you decided to celebrate half birthdays wouldn't all the other kids want in on that?
sapientia's Avatar sapientia 12:04 PM 08-07-2009
My ex's birthday is in Dec. 24th. His mom always had a birthday party for him early in the day and that evening have a christmas eve party. I think she handled it rather well. A childhood friend was in the same situation and they handled it the same way. My dh's birthday is in early january and he routinely got passed over for any presents cause it was 'so close to christmas' then saw his other siblings get parties later in the year.
I think it's really important to separate the two celebrations.
julesdsm's Avatar julesdsm 12:59 PM 08-07-2009
Thanks everyone for you input. Dh's b day is also dec 13 and he often got passed over for b days and isn't too happy about that. I'm thinking maybe we'll just do a small celebration with just us or invite invite family and if they come, great, if not oh well. I'm pretty sure Dh's family will expect to just combine the two, like they do with easter and dss's bday. But it might be more special if its just us anyways. Sigh, to be honest organizing any sort of b day party is kinda overwhelming to me since I never had one for myself, or attended one as a child.
fruitfulmomma's Avatar fruitfulmomma 01:10 PM 08-07-2009
I was born Dec. 18th and my parents have always tried to do something separate for me. My youngest was born Dec. 10th and I plan on trying to do something for her for her 1st birthday, though honestly we are having one combined party for all the kids this month since it falls right between all their birthdays and my sister is planning it. Anyway, yes I think that a separate event to celebrate and honor your child's special day is a great idea.
Jillybean's Avatar Jillybean 03:19 PM 08-07-2009
Quote:
But it might be more special if its just us anyways. Sigh, to be honest organizing any sort of b day party is kinda overwhelming to me since I never had one for myself, or attended one as a child
You also don't have to do a party if you don't want to! My ds1's b-day is Dec. 23, we did a party on his first b-day but none after that. I always give the kids the option of doing something special or having a party. Ds1 hates parties so we usually go the children's museum (his choice). Nice and quiet there two days before christmas! I also have a christmas time b-day so I'm pretty sensitive to it- yes please keep it seperate!
laura163's Avatar laura163 03:32 PM 08-07-2009
DS's birthday is 12-22. We have his friend party around the begining of the month. People go out of town and get busy as it gets close to the holiday.
EnviroBecca's Avatar EnviroBecca 04:03 PM 08-07-2009
EnviroKid's birthday is Christmas Eve. On that day, our immediate family and any visiting relatives (we have no local relatives, so anybody who'll be with us on Christmas is staying at our house) go on an outing of his choice and have a dinner for which he's chosen the menu, followed by birthday cake. No presents, though. We go to church in the late evening, and at that point it's Christmas we're celebrating. Everyone gets presents the next morning.

Around June 24, we have a party for his friends. On the invitations, under HALF-BIRTHDAY PARTY! we put small letters explaining, "His birthday is on Christmas Eve, so he's celebrating his half-birthday." and that calms anyone's fears of being expected to bring two gifts a year. His grandparents and uncle send gifts to be opened at the party.

However, he also has a great-uncle with a December birthday who feels strongly about celebrating the birthday when it really is and who sends a gift in birthday paper along with the Christmas gifts. That one EnviroKid can unwrap as soon as it arrives.
Eman'smom's Avatar Eman'smom 04:08 PM 08-07-2009
My birthday is near Christmas and my family did a horrible job growing up .


Don't ever do combo gift, don't wrap the presents in Christmas paper, don't make the birthday cake a Christmas tree, don't ask your 10 year old if they really want a cake this year, because things are busy and everyone has eaten lots of cake lately. Don't tell your child that they can't get many birthday presents because you've spent the money on Christmas (I know it gets expensive and cutting back is fine but kids don't need to hear the reason their birthday sucks is because Chirstmas is around). Don't tell your child you are too busy to have a party........


I know how crazy the holiday season is but I believe it's extra important to make sure they don't get forgotten in the shuffle.
Curlyfry7's Avatar Curlyfry7 04:48 PM 08-07-2009
My DD's b-day is also 12/26 (and DH's is 12/12) and for this year we will have a little party, which will be only family and maybe a couple close friends. After this, we will do half-b-days-we do presents, and kids interests change so much in a years time, and we are not big on buying toys etc when it's NOT a special day, so this will spread out the gifts too a bit. She'll still get an acknowledgement and maybe 1-2 little gifts on her actual day.

At least that is what we have planned so far...we'll see how it goes.
heather+mike2005's Avatar heather+mike2005 08:12 PM 08-07-2009
My ds will be 1 on 12/23. I'm planning on doing a party after the holidays are over. Some time in January. I want it to feel like a birthday for him and not just a party at holiday time. I'll still do something on the actual day, though. Probably just me, ds and his daddy. As he gets older I'll be sure to make the day extra special for him and try to keep it as seperate as I can from Christmas. My mom is 12/12 and she always got combo gifts growing up. My cousin is 12/15 and I don't think she ever even had a birthday party. How sad is that?
AutumnAir's Avatar AutumnAir 08:15 PM 08-07-2009
DD's birthday is 3rd January so we deal with this too. I really want to keep it separate from Christmas as much as possible but will find it difficult to do, as we live a fair way away from family (both Dh's and mine), and since we'll most likely be seeing the relatives for Christmas I'm sure they'll want to 'include' the birthday in there too. It's not really reasonable to expect people to travel 4 or 5 hours each way for Christmas celebrations then turn around to do it all again the following week for her birthday. Whereas if her birthday were in April or July or October I would be sure that her grandparents and uncles would be happy to make a special trip just for her.

I think the key for us will be about making that day all about our own little family. And particularly about her and what she wants to do. I'd like to make a nice 'tradition' for her birthday that's totally unrelated to Christmas, but not really coming up with anything yet. Though she's still too young to really 'get' it anyway.
Carlyle's Avatar Carlyle 08:25 PM 08-07-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by artinhappiness View Post
It was extremely important to me growing up that my birthday was kept seperate from the holiday, and my mother did a very good job at it. It's harder when they're super small, but I remember fondly that on my birthday from about age 6 on, we usually had a special dinner out - the place was my choice - and the family party was combined with the pre-Christmas celebration for cake and presents only because there was quite a bit of travel involved for the relatives. (Close relatives like my grandmother would give presents on my actual birthday) When I got to be a pre-teen, this worked out well because I started having my "birthday party" in June so I could have a pool party with my friends, and just had the special dinner on the actual day in December.
I think that this is a great idea--having a low key family celebration/special day with your kiddo on her birthday, and then having a "half-birthday parting" on her half birthday. I was born on Christmas Eve and always felt celebrated by my family (Christmas Eve was my special day), but birthday parties got to be hard for me. We never did 1/2 birthday party and sometimes my friends would have trouble coming to my party because it was so close to the holiday. Plus, if you have the party around Christmas (and you do gifts for both), it's major gift overload followed by a long stretch of no gifts.

eta: My parents didn't do "combo-gifts" when I was a kid, but once I got older, I never minded the combo-gift thing...it was always a bigger present that would have been too expensive for "just" birthday or "just" Christmas.
MissyCham's Avatar MissyCham 08:34 PM 08-07-2009
My birthday is 12/24 and I definitely think it is important to seperate the two events. A real birthday in-line with what you do for other family members; no Christmas wrapping paper or pointsetta cupcakes; no smaller gift because it is Christmas. If you are having a party with friends maybe poll the parents to see when at least the very best friends could be there.

My parents actually forgot my birthday several times because they were so caught up in the hub-bub of Christmas eve. Think Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles! Trust me it doesn't send a feeling of love! That said I know other people who have loved their Christmas birthdays because their family handled it with love and respect. Not more special than anyone else ... just the same amount of special. Seems like since you are already thinking about it you'll do great :
StrawberryFields's Avatar StrawberryFields 08:40 PM 08-07-2009
Our kids' birthdays are November 25th, January 21, and new LO is due 1/23. Although they don't have a Christmas birthday, it's during that whole busy Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year's rush, not to mention yucky winter weather. We are tossing around the idea of switching to just a family dinner for the 5 of us on their actual birthdays, with one big outdoor picnic sometime in the summer for all the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
kirstenb's Avatar kirstenb 11:05 PM 08-07-2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnviroBecca View Post
Around June 24, we have a party for his friends. On the invitations, under HALF-BIRTHDAY PARTY! we put small letters explaining, "His birthday is on Christmas Eve, so he's celebrating his half-birthday." and that calms anyone's fears of being expected to bring two gifts a year. His grandparents and uncle send gifts to be opened at the party.
My sister's best friend growing up was born on Dec 26, and she did the same thing. A family celebration around Christmas for her birthday, and a party for friends on her half birthday. It worked really well.
farviadix's Avatar farviadix 11:38 PM 08-07-2009

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