Neighbor's Drifting Pot Smoke - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

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#151 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 04:05 PM
 
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I hope I am misunderstanding you, but the implication here implies that because pot is different that it's okay to drive? The guy across the hall from me smoked pot and played video games and ate, that was his life (have no idea how he paid rent!). I had to go talk to him once and he just stared at me blankly and totally couldn't comprehend what I was telling him. I seriously doubt he would have been safe in a vehicle.

And personally, I get zippy and hyper with pot, I feel VERY similar to when I'm drunk except I also get a dizzy feeling. No way would I get in a vehicle and drive; I AM impaired. Everyone else around me is wanting to munch and there all like, "dude, come sit with us and mellow out".

Hopefully I have just misunderstood your point though.

As for the OP, I've been in the exact situation. When I lived in a 4-plex, my neighbour smoked pot daily and it came through my bathroom fan and other vents due to how the venting was run. No amount of me opening my windows or using fans was getting smell out, it was coming in every room including my 4 year olds room. The only place to escape the smell was to be outside which wasn't practical when it was -22F/-30C outside!

I talked to her MANY times, she just claimed she wasn't smoking pot, even though her eyes were glazed and red when she answered the door and her whole house smelled like it. I called the landlord, they sent the maintenance guys over to "fix" my bathroom fan. You can guess how much good that did. My 4 year old DD used to tell me, "smell that? D is smoking pot again!". I didn't find that very funny, so we used to go out for a couple hours when I smelled it and that was usually very late, at bedtime, so I'd drive around to get my DD to sleep and drive for a couple hours and come home when I was supposed to be studying.

After several months of this, we moved. Not due to the pot smoking (I finished my degree, got a job and bought a house), BUT it did prompt me to move quicker and buy a house with less of a down payment than I wanted to put down.
1. Sounds like that guy had other problems. I know plenty of non-video game playing, working pot smokers.

2. People react to pot differently. I totally understand someone's decision not to smoke, especially if they HAVE tried it and it makes them feel too wonky.

3. If it wasn't because of the pot smoking then how is this relevant? All in all it was still your choice to move when you did. I had a neighbor who smoked cigarettes. We smelled it all the time and it bothered us immensely. But seriously, we didn't move until we were ready to move. Because 1 more year wouldn't have made that much of a difference to our lungs (we bought an air purifier as well)...but it did make a big difference on our down payment and our interest rate.

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#152 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 04:11 PM
 
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I've known pot smokers who drove when they were high. I've also known lots who didn't. I found the "only a matter of time" thing more than a little annoying, myself.

That said, my ex drove with both me and ds1 in the car, when he was high, and didn't tell me. That's what I mean about his personality issues. The fact that he smoked pot - no biggie. The fact that he decided on my behalf that it was okay for me to ride with him after he smoked it - biggie. The fact that he decided for both of us that it was okay for our son to ride with him after he smoked it - super, major biggie. But, if he'd said he smoked it, I might have said something *gasp* negative.
agreed. ESPECIALLY if there were kids in the car or the person who i was with didn't smoke...i would not smoke and drive. just outta respect.

i chill with plenty of mommas who don't smoke. Some days i wake and bake and maintain a high all day. other days i don't smoke at all since it's not ok with the crowd i'm with. addicts can't do that. addicts don't decide from day to day if the situation is appropriate for them to do what they do. you XH def. sounds like a man with OTHER issues.

i'm glad that even though you had this experience you can still separate the substance from the person.

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#153 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 04:11 PM
 
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1. Sounds like that guy had other problems. I know plenty of non-video game playing, working pot smokers.
No need to defend pot smokers here. I was in no way saying this guy's lifestyle was due to his pot smoking or that all pot smokers stay home and play video games. I was just point out that this guy who DID smoke pot all day and play video games was in no shape to drive.

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3. If it wasn't because of the pot smoking then how is this relevant? All in all it was still your choice to move when you did.
I was moving regardless, I was not moving AT THAT TIME regardless. I moved ONE year sooner than my plan due to the pot smoke. So, it WAS related. I will rephrase as I have obviously caused confusion.

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#154 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 04:15 PM
 
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No need to defend pot smokers here. I was in no way saying this guy's lifestyle was due to his pot smoking or that all pot smokers stay home and play video games. I was just point out that this guy who DID smoke pot all day and play video games was in no shape to drive.

I was moving regardless, I was not moving AT THAT TIME regardless. I moved ONE year sooner than my plan due to the pot smoke. So, it WAS related. I will rephrase as I have obviously caused confusion.
ahhh...sorry then.

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#155 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 04:18 PM
 
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You're a patient woman. I'd probably have just killed him. :
Honestly, by the time I realized he'd done it, let alone how many times, I'd already gone through the rage part of things, and out the other side, if that makes sense.

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Nobody has the right to do that to anyone. Sorry you had to live through that, but I'm glad he's your XH.
Me, too!

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#156 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 04:20 PM
 
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you XH def. sounds like a man with OTHER issues.
Yeah - he was pretty much an addiction looking for a substance. I've met a couple other people like him, but he was pretty extreme.

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#157 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 04:35 PM
 
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As a former heavy pot-smoker, I just want to say that I would be pissed at my neighbor for not controlling his pot smoke from wafting into my house. In my pre-children days, if I was ever told by a neighbor, especially one with kids family that my pot-smoking was getting into their house, I would do everything possible to make sure it never happened again. It is about respect.

If it were me, I would nag the hell out of my neighbor every time I smelled pot until HE moved out of the duplex or found a new way to smoke pot. Even if that means knocking on his door 3 times a day and leaving notes everyday. I too would not want my LO to have to breath in the smell of pot all of the time.

I'd also like to say that when I was an everyday smoker I was never addicted to it. I just perferred being high, I was more creative and happy and all around a better person. In fact when I started smoking pot in high school my depression went away and I started getting straight As in school. No joke my freshman year I had like a 2.0, and when I was a senior I had a 4.0 and was Captian of sports teams and head of my yearbook, and I smoked every single day before school. I can honestly say that pot saved me from severe depression. As I became an adult I didn't need it anymore to be the person I truely am, but I certainly needed it as a teenager!

BOO for disrespecting neighbors, but YAY! for pot!
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#158 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 05:01 PM
 
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that's not what i've read. are you telling me that if i smoked pot morning, noon and night for 10 years solid i'd have *zero* additional risk of lung cancer?
Recent studies indicate that pot smoking may PREVENt lung cancer.

http://www.webmd.com/lung-cancer/new...to-lung-cancer

http://www.webmd.com/lung-cancer/new...ht-lung-tumors
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#159 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 05:08 PM
 
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if something's illegal, it's illegal. It's really very black & white.

Would it be any different if the person were smoking crack cocaine or heroin? They're all illegal.

UH, no...there's a big difference between smack, crack and smokin a flower. There are many gray areas in the law.
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#160 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 05:11 PM
 
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ahhh...sorry then.
No worries, I reread and my phrasing wasn't clear. Darn written words.

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#161 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 05:12 PM
 
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UH, no...there's a big difference between smack, crack and smokin a flower. There are many gray areas in the law.
so many grey areas!

my dad the police officer would agree with that. grey areas until they need to be black and white to convict "undesirables".

a friend of mine (white male) has been caught and tried for having pot twice. both times the charge was ammended down and he has NO DRUG charges on his record.

another friend of mine (black guy..these guys are the same age) has gotten caught with pot once. was convicted. fined heavily in place of prison time and still has it on his record.

tough break, huh?
doesn't seem very black and white to me. unless of course, you're taking into account skin color. then it seems very black and white, doesn't it?

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#162 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 05:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Holy intense discussion!!

So, today has been better- post landlord contact. Apparently she carries more weight than I do!

Last night that old familiar odor outside, closed the window-problem solved. Hope it continues.

Now to call for the energy audit....
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#163 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 05:37 PM
 
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This has fascinated me since I read about it years ago. And I think it's relevant to this whole conversation b/c it seems that people who are quick to call the cops, are the same people who truly do think a neighbor smoking pot is going to be detrimental to their family's health, or that it would impact a drug test. Funny thing is that these tend to be the same people (at least those I know IRL) who have toxic stuff like Febreeze or Lysol in their homes, and don't seem to be concerned about the resulting fumes in their air. Maybe b/c it's legal, I dunno. I'm not saying smoke, in general, is completely harmless - but that in the OP's case, it's more of an annoyance, and not so much a health issue.


beesknees - I'm glad the problem seems to be resolved. Hopefully, your neighbor continues to keep his smoking outside.

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#164 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 05:54 PM
 
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Holy intense discussion!!

So, today has been better- post landlord contact. Apparently she carries more weight than I do!

Last night that old familiar odor outside, closed the window-problem solved. Hope it continues.

Now to call for the energy audit....
Awesome, beesknees. I'm glad to hear it.

For the record, I absolutely think you should call the cops if you find out your neighbor is stealing electricity from you. That is a malum prohibitum crime, and is immoral.
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#165 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 06:00 PM
 
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Awesome, beesknees. I'm glad to hear it.

For the record, I absolutely think you should call the cops if you find out your neighbor is stealing electricity from you. That is a malum prohibitum crime, and is immoral.
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#166 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 06:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the support everyone!
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#167 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 06:19 PM
 
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I have no idea of he's a good or bad person and never purported to know that. He's breaking the law, though. And since we elect the people that make our laws, we have to live with the laws that are on the books or work within the legal system to change them. I mean, if I am on the freeway in the middle of the night and there's no traffic around and I choose to drive 68 MPH, even though I *know* the speed limit is 65, I have to fully accept that I am deciding to do something illegal and could be caught and punished for it.

What does slavery and child abuse being legal at one point in time have to do with a guy habitually using illegal drugs now? Are you saying you wish to return to a time when there were fewer laws and people were more free to "decide" how they wanted to conduct themselves, regardless of now negative an impact it made?
How do you know this guy isn't actively lobbying his legislators for change? Maybe he's a board member for NORML and rallies regularly for marijuana legalization.

But, honestly? He probably doesn't. And, even those of us who are politically active only have so much time in the day. So, some things we call about, some things we write letters about, some we protest, some we engage in openly, some we do within the comfort of our own homes.

My state, Idaho, recently licensed midwives. Midwives can no longer legally attend breech homebirths. There are no doctors in my town who will attend a vaginal breech hospital birth - they want automatic c-sections. Of course, I could refuse a c-section, but I'm not comfortable with the idea of a doctor unskilled in attending breech births being my primary birth assistant under duress. I'm also not comfortable with an unassisted breech birth.

I spoke with one of the local midwives and she said that, if it ever comes up, we'd figure something out. They'd attend off the record, or say the baby turned at the last minute. Bottom line? They'd be breaking the law, and if we were to publicize this fact, they could face punishment or lose their license.

So, with a time-sensitive situation like that - a woman pregnant with a breech baby does not have time to wait for the legislative gears to turn - what, exactly, do you propose? Be a "good citizen" and follow the law, earning a ticket to an unnecessary abdominal surgery? Um, no thanks.

This is just one example of a bad law. I ask you: Should blacks living under Jim Crow laws have just followed the rules like good citizens while waiting for their elected representatives to fix things? Oh, wait, they couldn't elect representatives because they weren't being allowed to vote...

You said you understand there are consequences for breaking the law. I never suggested otherwise. I just don't think we, as citizens, should actively invoke those consequences on one another if it isn't absolutely necessary. Just because a law is there doesn't make it good or proper. I don't think bad laws should just be ignored, because they will simmer under the surface for somebody to dig up when we least expect. I do think they should be repealed. In the meantime, though, I choose to live freely - and that means breaking many malum in se laws. Odds are, you are too, whether you mean to or not.

I had to buy a $43 permit the other day to build a chain link fence in my backyard. I asked the lady at the city why the permit exists - she said it was because people kept calling the city complaining about fences their neighbors erected, and it was requiring too many city resources to keep addressing the complaints, so they had to start charging for a permit. In my opinion, that is a big part of what is wrong with this country right now. People would rather call in the authorities than go next door and talk to their neighbor and work things out.

There are many ways to effect change. Lobbying legislators. Running for office. Public education. Letter-writing, phone banks. Protests. Boycotts. [Dissolving] the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them. Many of these things take time, though - months if not years - and it is unreasonable to expect people to live oppressed lives in the meantime.
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#168 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 06:21 PM
 
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Awesome, beesknees. I'm glad to hear it.

For the record, I absolutely think you should call the cops if you find out your neighbor is stealing electricity from you. That is a malum prohibitum crime, and is immoral.
yes indeed! he doesn't have to steal to grow. isn't he saving enough by just having his own garden? tsk tsk tsk

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#169 of 175 Old 08-13-2009, 08:18 PM
 
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I am closing this thread, because it is off topic for the Parenting Forum and the OP does not have access to TAO.

 
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#170 of 175 Old 02-28-2014, 04:52 PM
 
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i have a 6 year old son and live in a duplex and my neighbors  smoke pot  in there apartment and sometime i can smell pot coming in to my apartment  and i just worry about my son with that smell seeping in to my apartment  and how could i get them to  stop smoking pot?

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#171 of 175 Old 02-28-2014, 05:14 PM
 
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In my opinion, do not call the cops. Suggesting that he use a fan or do something to aerate his apartment while he is smoking. It would be worse if it was tobacco smoke due to the carcinogens that are entering the air in your home. There is no need to go to extremes. I have NEVER once met an "angry" or "violent" stoner, unless they were also pill poppers or lacing their marijuana. Go with what feels right for you and your family, if your neighbor is not violent or lashing out towards you and your family, there is no good reason to get him into legal troubles. You may not know what he is going through or what have you. I personally know lots of people who use it for it's REAL medicinal properties, i.e. anti-depressant, to help with insomnia, PTSD, bi-polar, and to be able to eat, among lots of other medicinal properties of the plant.
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#172 of 175 Old 02-28-2014, 05:19 PM
 
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Maybe buy him a Vape? The combustion creates an actual health issue. Is your duplex non-smoking? Do you have a landlord? If you are in a smoking apt, you may not have as much recourse.
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#173 of 175 Old 03-01-2014, 12:42 PM
 
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Are there any air filters that can clean pot smoke from the air? If you can afford them, I'd get a few and keep them in the rooms you and your kids spend the most time. You can also look into clean air plant, but if you don't get a lot of sunlight I don't know how effective they'd be. I know this thread is really old, but for anyone who's facing the same problem. Since places are legalizing pot and medical marijuana, it's going to be more common for people to face the problem without anyone breaking the law.

 

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In my opinion, do not call the cops. Suggesting that he use a fan or do something to aerate his apartment while he is smoking. It would be worse if it was tobacco smoke due to the carcinogens that are entering the air in your home. There is no need to go to extremes. I have NEVER once met an "angry" or "violent" stoner, unless they were also pill poppers or lacing their marijuana. Go with what feels right for you and your family, if your neighbor is not violent or lashing out towards you and your family, there is no good reason to get him into legal troubles. You may not know what he is going through or what have you. I personally know lots of people who use it for it's REAL medicinal properties, i.e. anti-depressant, to help with insomnia, PTSD, bi-polar, and to be able to eat, among lots of other medicinal properties of the plant.

 

There's more problems than the person being violent. If the smell's getting into the apartment, then it's second hand smoke which can get into the kids' system. I agree tobacco would be worse- I'd be just as angry about tobacco smoke getting into our house as pot smoke.


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#174 of 175 Old 03-01-2014, 11:17 PM
 
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In my area it is very rare for smoking to be allowed inside. It's an incredibly hard smell to get rid of so most leases forbid it. I'd call the landlord about it if your lease is the same. The pot may be legal but violating the terms of the lease is still frowned upon by landlords. . If not there may be a city ordinance or health code being violated so maybe check those.
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#175 of 175 Old 03-02-2014, 03:58 PM
 
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short answer 

 

move.

 

i dont have any objections to pot by itself. but i have objections to any kind of smoke in my apt. we've faced this from a v. conscientous neighbor who smoked cigarettes outside. no matter how far he smoked, somehow the smoke would get in. 

 

i know that is not the best answer. but moving to a smoke free area would be better off for you. 

 

whether they smoke inside or outside, i've always been in poor to middle class apts, and the smoke has always gotten through. 


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