Neighbor's Drifting Pot Smoke - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-11-2009, 06:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi,

I am hoping for some guidance on how to deal with my neighbor. We live in a duplex, and he smokes a lot! I really don't care what he is doing on his side, but my side is saturated in a weed smell, and I am not okay with that. I have gone over to talk to him when the smoke was especially strong and basically said that the smoke is coming in through our basement and throughout the house, this is not cool, I don't care if you smoke, I just don't want to smell it when you do, please figure something out. The following two days were better and now it's back as it was before. What is the next step to resolve this, I have mentioned it to my landlord-nothing changed. I would rather avoid having to call the police, because I think that would create a high tension living situation afterwords. Right now I feel like just moving to avoid further confrontation, but that is not really realistic. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks!
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Old 08-11-2009, 06:48 PM
 
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You know, I suggest you loan him a fan, ask him to point it out a far window while he smokes. Then the other solution is to get a fan for your place that will push the smell back through where it comes in?
this is a sneaky idea, but maybe call the fire department? play dumb, like, "smoke is pouring in from my neighbors apartment, I think he's asleep in there, and it smells funny."
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Old 08-11-2009, 07:04 PM
 
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I second the use of fans. One for you and one for him.
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Old 08-11-2009, 07:22 PM
 
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Heh I love the fire dept idea... but I'm also PMSing right now.
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Old 08-11-2009, 08:11 PM
 
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I personally would approach him at a time when he's not in the middle of smoking the stuff before taking further action. Because, to be entirely honest, talking to him when the smoke is especially strong might not stick.

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Old 08-11-2009, 08:34 PM
 
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You can't really her people do stuff they don't want to do.

A pp said wait until he's not smoking up, but how will you know when he isn't high?
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Old 08-11-2009, 08:48 PM
 
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It's pretty easy to tell when someone is high or not. Mainly the zoned out stare, blood shot eyes and red face.

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Old 08-11-2009, 08:49 PM
 
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You can't really her people do stuff they don't want to do.

A pp said wait until he's not smoking up, but how will you know when he isn't high?
bolded mine

so what if hes high? stoners have a strong sense of comradeship and community (ime) he may be more willing to listen if she goes over with cookies right after the smoke subsides

seriously tho, he needs to learn for HIS sake to control his smell. pot is still illegal. If you go down with the stance of "I can smell your smoke, so can they" he will probably at least make an attempt to curb it. good luck!

oh... are you upset that it's *pot* or because it's smoke?

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Old 08-11-2009, 08:59 PM
 
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No advice, but I'm sorry you're going through this. Pot stinks, the smell of it makes me ill.
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Old 08-11-2009, 09:41 PM
 
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We are having the *same* problem right now! New neighbors moved in on Aug. 1st. We have townhouses and theirs is the exact same floor plan as ours, just mirrored. So our children's bathroom upstairs is right next to their upstairs bathroom. I opened the door the other evening to go run them a bath and the smell was SOOO strong!! I hate the smell of pot.
DH and I aren't sure what to do. The neighbors are really nice & we don't want to make any problems. But I don't want my kids to have to smell that crap.
I'm thinking that if it happens again, I'll just go over and ask them to please do it somewhere else, because we can smell it.

OP- since you've already asked, I would maybe give it one more chance, if you feel like being nice. What did the landlord say when you told him about it?

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Old 08-11-2009, 09:58 PM
 
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I would definitely suggest to him some incense, and some fans. Please don't get the fire dept or cops involved in this...it seems like more a pet peeve than anything else. ( I don't want to get into the legality of smoking MJ. I am of the camp that it is a ridiculous prohibition, and heck, the man is smoking in the privacy of his home, he is not out on the streets or out in traffic. The smell is what I am thinking is bothering you, because I somehow doubt that the actual smoke is invading your home...) I used to have neighbors that cooked the worst smelling food I've ever smelled. It annoyed me to no end, but it wasn't exactly hurting me in any way shape or form.

Hope you guys can resolve this peacefully.

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Old 08-12-2009, 12:18 AM
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Isn't smoking marijuana illegal? I'd call the police. Every time. Totally unacceptable to do anything less, IMO.
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Old 08-12-2009, 12:38 AM
 
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Isn't smoking marijuana illegal? I'd call the police. Every time. Totally unacceptable to do anything less, IMO.
Yeah............no. It's a rental, and if she ends up getting her landlord's tenant in jail (no money for the landlord), it could end up a problem for her.

I second the cookies idea or the "if I can smell it, so can they" idea. If it doesn't work, the fan is a good thing too.

This guy is harmless - annoying, but harmless. Calling the cops on him is overkill and irresponsible. Cops are overloaded with REAL criminals.

In the meantime, have YOU (OP) tried burning incense? Or baking? I find that that tends to cancel out the pot smell from OUR neighbors.

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Old 08-12-2009, 01:45 AM
 
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I'm in the Call the Police camp. I'd contact the landlord again and if nothing changed, call the police. I don't understand why everyone is apologizing for this guy and suggesting the OP bake him cookies!
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Old 08-12-2009, 01:54 AM
 
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I'm in the Call the Police camp. I'd contact the landlord again and if nothing changed, call the police. I don't understand why everyone is apologizing for this guy and suggesting the OP bake him cookies!

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Old 08-12-2009, 02:03 AM
 
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it's second hand smoke. so it's not "harmless" -- in fact, it is harmful.

i have *no problem* with people smoking pot.

would i want to breathe a neighbor's second hand smoke. hell no.

would i want my *children* to breathe it? double hell no.

if this guy is too zoned out to be embarassed/worried that the neighbors can smell his pot smoke, he really is asking for trouble.

now, if it were my situation, what i think i'd do is 1) try to screen out the smoke from my own home, somehow. it sucks that this is happening in summertime when the windows are usually open. you shouldn't have to shut *your* windows. he should be shutting *his*. i'm not crazy about the incense idea -- it's a convenient cover for the pot smoker to cover his odor, but it does nada to erase the harmful reality of the second hand smoke. that's your real problem IMO. you should have fans going in your home to attempt to blow out the smoke. this is for your own benefit.

2) the second thing i would do is try to talk to the guy again. assuming he works -- try to catch him on his way to work or when he's returning home after work. make this conversation about "second hand smoke." you don't necessarily need to mention that it's pot smoke bothering you, although it's certainly your right to complain about that, too. i would just really impress upon him that you have young children and they have fragile respiratory systems and are being negatively affected by the second hand smoke that is drifting over on a regular basis -- and what can he do to stop this from happening, please? tell him that you don't want to have to call the police about pot smoking, that's not what this is about, but you do need it to stop, and you need him to be the one to take action to keep the smoke in *his* house, instead of drifting over to yours. can he please open the windows on the side of the house that is not next to you, and keep the ones next to you shut? can he please run a fan that blows the smoke in the direction opposite of your shared wall? is it possible that he could only smoke in the rooms that are further away from your shared wall?

if it were me, i would be nice but very insistent about it.

sorry but i'm just not a big fan of second hand smoke. my own husband smokes (just regular cigarettes) and he only does it on the breezeway downstairs, but since we had a new addition added to our house, we now have a room above the breezeway, and wouldn't you know, the second hand smoke drifts up. i've complained but i'm not trying to get him to quit altogether (though that would be nice, quitting is something that the addict has to decide himself and it won't help to harp at him). but i've come back with suggestion after suggestion, and we have finally arrived at a solution that involves open windows in the breezeway, as well as open screen door. i'm no longer catching his second hand smoke upstairs, and i'm grateful. next challenge will be when it's winter, and DH doesn't want to have open windows b/c of "expensive heat loss" and my reply will be that we can save a ton of money if he quits buying cigarettes -- but that's besides the point of helping the OP with her situation.

to the OP: good luck with this challenging situation.

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Old 08-12-2009, 02:17 AM
 
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I'm in the Call the Police camp. I'd contact the landlord again and if nothing changed, call the police. I don't understand why everyone is apologizing for this guy and suggesting the OP bake him cookies!
Because pot smokers are harmless. The cops have real crimes to deal with and it's a waste of time, resources and tax payers money to call the cops on him.

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Old 08-12-2009, 02:19 AM
 
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smoking in apt is a pretty common thing. it is smoke. doesnt matter which one it is. weed or cigarette.

with the cigarette i moved because it was in the privacy of their home.

with pot i tried talking to them. to landlord. then moved.

next when i rented made sure landlord knew about smoking. thankfully found a place where smoking is not an issue.

i know others who have had to move due to smoking. a person who didnt smoke inside their house, but right under my friends window.

so far i have never come across anyone finding a way out of the situation without moving.

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Old 08-12-2009, 02:29 AM
 
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Because pot smokers are harmless. The cops have real crimes to deal with and it's a waste of time, resources and tax payers money to call the cops on him.

Wow.......just......wow. Clearly we have not known the same pot smokers.
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Old 08-12-2009, 02:31 AM
 
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it's second hand smoke. so it's not "harmless" -- in fact, it is harmful.

i have *no problem* with people smoking pot.

would i want to breathe a neighbor's second hand smoke. hell no.

would i want my *children* to breathe it? double hell no.

if this guy is too zoned out to be embarassed/worried that the neighbors can smell his pot smoke, he really is asking for trouble.

now, if it were my situation, what i think i'd do is 1) try to screen out the smoke from my own home, somehow. it sucks that this is happening in summertime when the windows are usually open. you shouldn't have to shut *your* windows. he should be shutting *his*. i'm not crazy about the incense idea -- it's a convenient cover for the pot smoker to cover his odor, but it does nada to erase the harmful reality of the second hand smoke. that's your real problem IMO. you should have fans going in your home to attempt to blow out the smoke. this is for your own benefit.

2) the second thing i would do is try to talk to the guy again. assuming he works -- try to catch him on his way to work or when he's returning home after work. make this conversation about "second hand smoke." you don't necessarily need to mention that it's pot smoke bothering you, although it's certainly your right to complain about that, too. i would just really impress upon him that you have young children and they have fragile respiratory systems and are being negatively affected by the second hand smoke that is drifting over on a regular basis -- and what can he do to stop this from happening, please? tell him that you don't want to have to call the police about pot smoking, that's not what this is about, but you do need it to stop, and you need him to be the one to take action to keep the smoke in *his* house, instead of drifting over to yours. can he please open the windows on the side of the house that is not next to you, and keep the ones next to you shut? can he please run a fan that blows the smoke in the direction opposite of your shared wall? is it possible that he could only smoke in the rooms that are further away from your shared wall?

if it were me, i would be nice but very insistent about it.
: Try to reason with him, when he isn't high as a kite. That's probably the best idea. Honestly, it is in the privacy of his own home, and all that, but it's invading the privacy of yours. So that does make it an issue worth discussing.

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Because pot smokers are harmless. The cops have real crimes to deal with and it's a waste of time, resources and tax payers money to call the cops on him.
There's that and the fact that unless the dude is dealing out of his house, they aren't going to do anything about it. Even if he WAS dealing, he'd have to be moving some serious goods before the cops would take more than a passing interest. Calling the cops will only cause hard feelings all around and likely accomplish nothing whatsoever.

PS - I'd rephrase that to say "smoking pot is harmless," rather than "pot smokers are harmless" in general. Good people AND bad both smoke, and while MJ may not be the drug that induces violent behavior, there are some violent people who use it. (just my opinion, though!! )

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Old 08-12-2009, 02:33 AM
 
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Wow.......just......wow. Clearly we have not known the same pot smokers.
I guess not. But the generalization that pot smokers are bad people is... Hurtfull...

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Old 08-12-2009, 02:35 AM
 
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PS - I'd rephrase that to say "smoking pot is harmless," rather than "pot smokers are harmless" in general. Good people AND bad both smoke, and while MJ may not be the drug that induces violent behavior, there are some violent people who use it. (just my opinion, though!! )
True, but pot does tend to reduce the chances that someone will act agressively too. There's a reason we are so nice to each other in BC.

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Old 08-12-2009, 02:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't understand why everyone is apologizing for this guy and suggesting the OP bake him cookies!
Thank You!

"it's second hand smoke. so it's not "harmless" -- in fact, it is harmful.

i have *no problem* with people smoking pot.

would i want to breathe a neighbor's second hand smoke. hell no.

would i want my *children* to breathe it? double hell no.

if this guy is too zoned out to be embarassed/worried that the neighbors can smell his pot smoke, he really is asking for trouble."

Exactly!

For me it is the issue of second hand smoke coming into my house. We asked what the smoking policy is before moving in because I didn't want to be around it. THIS IS A NON-SMOKING UNIT! To me that includes all smoke-cigarettes, pot, crack, etc....

I could care less if he smokes pot, I just don't want the smell saturating my house. I feel like this is reasonable.

I must say the baking suggestion did give me an idea. I will give him my best brownie recipe and suggest a smokeless mode of ingestion!
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Old 08-12-2009, 03:05 AM
 
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Do you know if *his* unit is non-smoking?

Assuming your lease specifies your unit is non-smoking, you might mention to your landlord that *they* could be considered in violation of the terms of your lease by failing to provide a smoke-free environment.

I don't know if that's a stretch, or not, but I would think one has a reasonable expectation to live in a smoke-free space when signing a lease on a non-smoking apartment... ESPECIALLY if you are in a completely non-smoking complex.

All that said, I would definitely try my hardest to resolve this by dealing directly with the neighbor and the landlord before involving the police.
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Old 08-12-2009, 03:19 AM
 
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Can you get an air purifier? Maybe that would help a bit. Otherwise, I would just talk to your neighbor again if it's really bothering you. Calling the police would not even be on my radar. But then, I've never called the cops in my life so I can't imagine doing so over a smoke smell. Unfortunately, issues like this w/neighbors are one of the downsides of apartment/townhome living.

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Old 08-12-2009, 03:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, it is a house with just the two sides and both are non-smoking.

I am not one to run to the police. In fact I asked my brother, an attorney and former police officer for advice and he said talk to him, which I agree is the best point of action to take, but when that doesn't work, then what?

FWIW I really have nothing against pot or pot smokers in general, lack of respect for one's neighbor however, is a whole other issue.
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Old 08-12-2009, 03:23 AM
 
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Because pot smokers are harmless. The cops have real crimes to deal with and it's a waste of time, resources and tax payers money to call the cops on him.
This has not been my experience.

OP, I would call the cops if fans don't give you the relief you need. Your family doesn't need to be exposed to this for several reasons.
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Old 08-12-2009, 03:31 AM
 
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I think you are being totally reasonable. I would struggle with this, too, and I think your neighbor is being very inconsiderate.

A few points for consideration, in no particular order:

- As I said before, you might point out to your landlord that your neighbor is in violation of his lease, and in violating that lease it is violating YOUR expectation of a smoke-free living space.
- That said, I've never lived in non-smoking housing where *smokers* weren't allowed. It just wasn't allowed *in the house* - which meant they would go out on the front steps or balconies to smoke. If your neighbor smoked cigs instead of pot, he'd probably feel free to go outside to do it... and then what, for you? There wouldn't be much you could do aside from asking him to do it elsewhere or shutting your doors/windows. Just food for thought.
- I would probably talk to your neighbor in a totally friendly way one more time - explain that it's really bothersome, and you'd like to work together to find a solution. If he blows you off, the next time you talk to him I'd say "I don't want to have to go over your head on this, but I am going to if we can't find a permanent workable solution." While I think you should avoid going to the cops if at all possible, I don't think the threat of going to the cops would be exactly misplaced.
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Old 08-12-2009, 03:41 AM
 
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I don't think that "smelling" the neighbors smoke and actually sitting in second hand smoke is the same thing. The OP stated that the "smell" is bothersome. Different, IMO, and you can't control what smells may emulate from your neighbors part of the house. If he were smoking a legal tobacco cig outside, and you could smell it, would you think of running to the cops or what would you do??

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Old 08-12-2009, 04:17 AM
 
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This has not been my experience.
You've seriously only ever met violent and dangerous pot smokers? I highly doubt that, of course you may not even be aware that someone your talking to or dealing with on a regular basis is a pot smoker, most people don't start up a conversation with "Hi, I'm _____ and I smoke weed."

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