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#1 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 03:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Grrrrr!!!! The receptionist/assistant at my chiropractor's office was so unfriendly with my kids today. Their office is inside a gym that has child care and I have the option to use that, however ds did not want to go there, he feels uncomfortable not knowing anyone there. I don't want to push him, he has to start Kindergarten in 2 wks. and is feeling similarly uncomfortable about that. Dd will follow ds's lead so if I tried to put her in the childcare, even though she says she wants to go, she would end up having a fit if ds didn't stay there with her. And the baby is just too young IMO to leave there.

So we proceed into the chiro's waiting room and the recept. immediately says, "Oh, aren't you going to put them in the child care?" I explain briefly, that no, they don't want to go. I've kept them with me in the office before. Usually there are toys in the waiting room but today these are gone. There is an exam room that has lots of toys but there is another dr. in there with a patient so we can't go in there. I give them some very unmessy snacks to eat and they are pretty good for the most part.

They start playing with the stool trying to get it lower to climb on it when we go to the exam room to wait for the dr. The recept. is clearly annoyed by this and comes in and tells them not to play on it. There is nowhere else for them to sit. She threatens to take it away if they fight or play with it, but helps them lower it.

They to start to squabble over this and that, minor stuff. The baby hits his head on the side of the stroller and cries. I am telling the older two to please stop and trying to comfort the baby. She comes back in because at this point I have the electric stim things attached to my neck and back, which give me some movement around the exam table but she has a problem with this and tells me to sit down.

When I'm done with that, I finally go out into the waiting room and find crayons and coloring books for the kids and bring them in and get them busy with that. Gee, what if she would've offered me those?

They are getting bored after a few minutes and start to play with stuff they shouldn't, bicker a bit. I am getting frustrated with them but what can I do? The dr. is doing the adjustment, we're almost done. We go to leave and the recept. says, "Child care next time?" I tell her, "We'll see."

I wish they would stay in the child care but I'm not going to force them. This woman has been there before when I'm there and is always very sweet with the baby. Previously she was fine with the older two. Maybe she was having a bad day. Who knows. I am just so frustrated with her attitude.
This is a very family oriented office, a husb. and wife team and the wife specializes in pregnant women and children, for goodness sakes.

The recept. is a mom herself, we've chatted before. While I was there, another lady came in with a toddler who was crying. No one said anything to her about it.

I like the dr. and this is the 3rd chiro I've had since we've lived here as the other two have moved away so I am not changing dr.'s just because this woman is being unkind.

Not sure what I will do or say if this happens again but I won't let it happen again without addressing it with her. Any suggestions on what to say would be appreciated. Mostly I just needed to vent as it has been on my mind all day. Thanks.
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#2 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 04:07 PM
 
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WOW! That is horrible mama! Sounds like your kids are being, well, kids. Why is she coming back into the exam room if she is just the receptionist in the first place? Isn't her job to answer phones, etc. It is your decision whether or not they go into childcare, not hers : And the snarky comment about "Childcare next time?" I would have said "No, another chiro. next time!" (if you could find another one, that is) Maybe she was having a bad day, but she needs to be professional enough to not take it out on patients or their children. :

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#3 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 04:10 PM
 
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I guess I cannot imagine bringing kids with me when I'm going to be unable to care for them - like when you are having a treatment, especially the electric stim. I also think you could have brought the coloring books or other quiet toys instead of expecting the office to provide them or for the kids to sit quietly that long.
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#4 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 04:11 PM
 
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Maybe she HAD to bring them...that happened to me a couple times. I also brought snacks and toys, but with a new environment, kids are wanting to explore. I agree, toys help, but the receptionist did not have to be so rude. That is not helping the situation, it is just making it worse.

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#5 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 04:12 PM
 
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One of my doctors has a posted sign saying something (in a polite way) about arranging childcare during appointments. I actually don't think that's an unreasonable request. I always have someone watch my kids when I go to the doctor, dentist, etc., mostly because it'd be to stressful for me to feel responsible for keeping them calm/happy while also trying to tend to my own needs and listen to the doctor.

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#6 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 04:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Christy Marie, I actually had brought little cars for them to play with, which usually works for them but not today. Also in the past when I brought them there they were allowed to go into the other room where the toys are but that was not an option today, which I understand. That is the first time that has happened to me, though.
And I usually only go to the chiro on Friday's when dh works from home and then I can leave at least the older two with him but my neck is really hurting and it is affecting my ability to pick up the baby so I wanted to get it taken care of. Yes, it is stressful for me to bring them and I prefer not to but couldn't avoid it today. I'm not saying this was an ideal situation and I don't expect the people who work there to help me with my kids, just please don't work against me!
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#7 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 05:42 PM
 
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I don't know, to me I could see how the recep. thought you were being intentionally difficult. They provide childcare, what more could you want. The appointment is not that long, they would probably be fine in the childcare, whether it is ideal for them or not, it wasn't ideal for the office to have them there either.
I can see both sides.
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#8 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 05:54 PM
 
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I don't care what the receptionist thought - she was being rude!

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#9 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 06:09 PM
 
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The receptionist was a bit rude but I would never expect a doctor's office to work around my three bored kids while I got medical treatment. I think you should have rescheduled until you had a better childcare plan.

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#10 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 06:14 PM
 
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ITA with Jennifer 3141.
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#11 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 06:56 PM
 
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The receptionist was a bit rude but I would never expect a doctor's office to work around my three bored kids while I got medical treatment. I think you should have rescheduled until you had a better childcare plan.
I agree and honestly I would have probably been irritated to. If the provided child care is not good enough I would have made other arangements. they have a job to do and kids that you cannot care for who are bored and bickering would push me over the edge. If she could hear it outside other clients likely would have. and honestly if my chiropractors office was not a calm sort of place I would find a different Dr. maybe this is what she was scared of. If your kids really won't go into childcare and won't stay with a sitter maybe next time you could find someone to tag along and watch them in the waiting room or take them out for a stroll or something.

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#12 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 07:27 PM
 
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The receptionist was pretty rude. I think you were doing the best you could considering the circumstances. Just ignore her next time if she cops a tude and come prepared for there not to be any toys anymore.

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#13 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 07:34 PM
 
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Keep in mind that the receptionist may have had complaints from patients about children being in the office (not specifically your children, just in general.)

I can really see both sides. I know how it is to be in pain with no childcare. On the other hand, I know how it is to be in pain, paying for childcare and having to deal with other people's children making the waiting area/office overall a less than relaxing place.

Or perhaps it was just a bad day all the way around. It's hard to know.
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#14 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 07:46 PM
 
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hmmm is this the first time you have been there with all your kids?

this is my philosophy which i have noticed works most times. i explain. so when she asked you about childcare i would have explained. about why your kids cant be in cc. its amazing how a little explanation goes a long way.

so next time you go explain all the whys.

however i would try not to let there be a next time. if it does happen i would explain.

so i would not complain. if you want to pick up this issue i would let her know exactly what was going on and see what she says.

perhaps she was having a hard day too.

if it was me i would not say anything. i would if it happened again.

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#15 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 07:50 PM
 
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It is really hard when you don't have childcare...

I don't have anyone around to watch my kids when I have an appointment unless DH is home (which doesn't coincide with many office hours) so I know what it is like having to bring the kids everywhere with me...

I hope she was just having an off day and things will go smoother next time...

 
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#16 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 07:56 PM
 
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Not sure what I will do or say if this happens again but I won't let it happen again without addressing it with her. .
Ok, she was rude. But, happen again? If I had that experience with my dc, I wouldn't bring them along with me again simply because they didn't handle it well this time. Fair enough that you brought them this time; you had reason to believe it would go ok. But it didn't, so now you know you need to have childcare of some kind when you go to the chiro (believe me--I've btdt recently with my 2 yo at the dentist. I'm sure as heck not taking him with me again, lol!)
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#17 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 08:12 PM
 
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Warning: rant ahead.

I'm pregnant with my first so I don't know if my opinion will be accepted here, but honestly I don't understand why people are saying the OP needs to arrange childcare in order to go to an appointment. Isn't this an AP-friendly site??

When my baby is here, _I_ will be the primary childcare provider for him/her. I will not be leaving my child with strangers, ever (trusted friends are another matter). He/she is MY CHILD and I am solely responsible for his/her well being when my husband is not available. If the OP's husband wasn't available to care for their children then she not only has the right but the responsibility, IMO, to care for her children, which includes NOT putting them in childcare with strangers if they were uncomfortable with it. (Edited to add: if both the children and the parents are comfortable leaving the children with a trusted childcare provider, I don't think there's anything non-AP about that.) Why should she be expected to stick her children in childcare just because it was provided?

I honestly think this reflects an opinion common in our society today (one I didn't expect to find on this site) that children are somehow nuisances that need to be shuffled off and hidden if they're not behaving like perfect little adults. I mean it's not like the OP's kids were breaking the equipment or pestering the other clients.

Just my $0.02, but I cannot "see both sides".

Rant over.

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#18 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 08:36 PM
 
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moxygirl, I bring my daughter almost everywhere - work, bloodwork, volunteer meetings, international trips, small business bank appointments. I actually bring her to the chiro, but that's because he's quite kid-friendly. However, I do find it very, very, stressful to bring her to my many doctor's appointments (I have a couple of health conditions). Namely because my doctor can be up to 2 hours late, and dd almost always catches a cold / flu from the office toys, and then she gets seriously annoyed when I am talking with the doctor. And then I'm out of commission doing the tests and I can't attend to her needs all of the time. And if the doctors are not child-friendly, this makes it even more stressful (though most of mine are).

So after some time trying to bring her, my daughter and I have now decided together (she's now 4) that it would be a lot more fun if we didn't have to go to the doctor together - unless it's for her. Yes, a baby can't choose, but as they get older I don't see that there's a problem finding a good, fun child care provider and doing those appointments on your own.

All this done in the spirit of love and understanding and communication with my daughter, which I believe makes it a good AP solution.

OP, I'd check with the kids and see what they'd like to do. I have done the childcare-person-comes-to-the-office approach too. It it can be worthwhile if your back is in serious pain!

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#19 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 08:45 PM
 
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Warning: rant ahead.

I'm pregnant with my first so I don't know if my opinion will be accepted here, but honestly I don't understand why people are saying the OP needs to arrange childcare in order to go to an appointment. Isn't this an AP-friendly site??

When my baby is here, _I_ will be the primary childcare provider for him/her. I will not be leaving my child with strangers, ever (trusted friends are another matter). He/she is MY CHILD and I am solely responsible for his/her well being when my husband is not available. If the OP's husband wasn't available to care for their children then she not only has the right but the responsibility, IMO, to care for her children, which includes NOT putting them in childcare with strangers if they were uncomfortable with it. (Edited to add: if both the children and the parents are comfortable leaving the children with a trusted childcare provider, I don't think there's anything non-AP about that.) Why should she be expected to stick her children in childcare just because it was provided?

I honestly think this reflects an opinion common in our society today (one I didn't expect to find on this site) that children are somehow nuisances that need to be shuffled off and hidden if they're not behaving like perfect little adults. I mean it's not like the OP's kids were breaking the equipment or pestering the other clients.

Just my $0.02, but I cannot "see both sides".

Rant over.
As a SAHM with a husband who works long hours and doesn't have a job that he can just skip out on for a couple of hours very easily and who has very few other childcare options and whose kids are very sensitive and would likely not do well at all with some random stranger at some gym childcare and who feels I have the right to get medical care when I need it, I say right on sistah .

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#20 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 08:56 PM
 
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She might have been having a bad day.

Maybe next time, you should pack a really special bag for them to get into while you are busy. Keep things in it that they normally wouldn't have access to so it's special, and only for doctor's visits.

I think it's fine that you bring them, but you should plan to keep them entertained while they are there.

Not that I can think of any ideas on what you should pack in the bag... but, something really cool.
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#21 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 09:37 PM
 
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FWIW, moxygirl, when I suggested arranging childcare I wasn't talking about the gym's childcare room, which the OP stated that her DS is uncomfortable with. I meant arranging childcare with a trusted friend or family member, which is what I do when I have appointments (and I know I'm lucky to have this option). My son doesn't like gym childcare rooms either, and I would never force him to go there knowing he doesn't like it.

And yes, I'm responsible for my kids, but I also still have a strong notion of consideration for others, and disrupting medical offices is something that I personally am not comfortable with unless there's truly no other option. Of course there are going to be times when other childcare arrangements just aren't possible, and hopefully office staff will be understanding of that, but it's also not cool to just go in with an attitude of "I have kids and they go wherever I go, so deal with it, no matter how they behave."

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#22 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 09:43 PM
 
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Warning: rant ahead.

I'm pregnant with my first so I don't know if my opinion will be accepted here, but honestly I don't understand why people are saying the OP needs to arrange childcare in order to go to an appointment. Isn't this an AP-friendly site??

When my baby is here, _I_ will be the primary childcare provider for him/her. I will not be leaving my child with strangers, ever (trusted friends are another matter). He/she is MY CHILD and I am solely responsible for his/her well being when my husband is not available. If the OP's husband wasn't available to care for their children then she not only has the right but the responsibility, IMO, to care for her children, which includes NOT putting them in childcare with strangers if they were uncomfortable with it. (Edited to add: if both the children and the parents are comfortable leaving the children with a trusted childcare provider, I don't think there's anything non-AP about that.) Why should she be expected to stick her children in childcare just because it was provided?

I honestly think this reflects an opinion common in our society today (one I didn't expect to find on this site) that children are somehow nuisances that need to be shuffled off and hidden if they're not behaving like perfect little adults. I mean it's not like the OP's kids were breaking the equipment or pestering the other clients.

Just my $0.02, but I cannot "see both sides".

Rant over.

but you also have to consider what is best for the children. They clearly were not enjoying this. mom was not able to tend to them as needed. tending to them was interupting her treatment. and someone else did have to tep in and help with some thing which just wasn't her job. and a dr should be able to concentrate on the patient (weather the patient is the one with the children or in the next room). i can't even cook dinner with children in my kitchen (which is much bigger than a exam room) and I know I couldn't practice medicine with rowdy bored children under foot. also these were three very small children with no one to really meet their needs. Mom was busy. office staff was busy doing their job.

If you can't find someone to properly care for your children during certain things where you can't focus on them 100% reschedule your appointment. If you need to find someone who will work around your schedule. My midwife did appointments from noon to 9pm two nights a week. its one of the reasons I chose her. or find someone with a more kid friendly environment (although I doubt you will do any better than on sight childcare!!!), there really are options. and life is not always perfect. you can't always have everything you want. Sometimes you will need to choose between your needs and your childrens needs. if you need medical care bad enough you may have to use a child care facility or leave them with someone who isn't quite 100% up to your standards.

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#23 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 10:13 PM
 
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but you also have to consider what is best for the children. They clearly were not enjoying this. mom was not able to tend to them as needed. tending to them was interupting her treatment. and someone else did have to tep in and help with some thing which just wasn't her job. and a dr should be able to concentrate on the patient (weather the patient is the one with the children or in the next room). i can't even cook dinner with children in my kitchen (which is much bigger than a exam room) and I know I couldn't practice medicine with rowdy bored children under foot. also these were three very small children with no one to really meet their needs. Mom was busy. office staff was busy doing their job.

If you can't find someone to properly care for your children during certain things where you can't focus on them 100% reschedule your appointment. If you need to find someone who will work around your schedule. My midwife did appointments from noon to 9pm two nights a week. its one of the reasons I chose her. or find someone with a more kid friendly environment (although I doubt you will do any better than on sight childcare!!!), there really are options. and life is not always perfect. you can't always have everything you want. Sometimes you will need to choose between your needs and your childrens needs. if you need medical care bad enough you may have to use a child care facility or leave them with someone who isn't quite 100% up to your standards.
I think these are some very good points! Well said.
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#24 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 10:21 PM
 
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I'm pregnant with my first so I don't know if my opinion will be accepted here, but honestly I don't understand why people are saying the OP needs to arrange childcare in order to go to an appointment. Isn't this an AP-friendly site??
AP friendly childcare! :

The point is, in my experience, I can not be a patient and a caretaker at the same time. I can not meet my toddler's needs when I am in the dental chair being worked on. It is reality. So I need to find alternative care for him when I go to the dentist. (eta...I could when dd was a toddler, but she was a different kid and stayed quietly on my lap the whole time. Ds is an entirely different story!).

It sounds like, from what she's described, the op has a similar reality when it comes to her 3 kids at the chiro (it might be different with just the baby...or just the baby and the toddler.....speaking of which, if the oldest will be in K soon, and the toddler will happily go to the gym care when the oldest is not present, and the baby is easy at the chiro, then the problem will likely solve itself).
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#25 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 10:23 PM
 
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I started typing a long post but it was everything lilyka already said.

I too have a pretty debilitating condition requiring frequent chiro visits, but I will. not. go. if I can't find someone to stay with my children. I will schedule while one is in preschool and my aunt can sit with the other. I will schedule when my mom is in town to spend time with both.

I actually went three months between visits this summer because I just couldn't figure out the scheduling. It's not that I wasn't in pain. I just wasn't in enough pain to make them sit through an office visit with me.

My five-year-old is old enough to sit still through an adjustment, 8-10 minutes of corrective stretching (me lying back with a weight on my head and a roll under my neck unable to move) and another 5-8 minutes of the "Vivatek" machine (which vibrates your spine, kinda cool). I let him watch a cartoon on my iPod if he ever comes along, which is great. My 16m old is another story and will just about sit through three minutes of a quick adjustment if there's no other option. The other stuff just has to wait until he's not there. My chiro has a lovely receptionist who adores the boys, but when she's there (limited hours, only in the afternoons) she's also responsible for all the billing, returning calls, etc. She volunteered once to entertain my toddler, but I would never count on that again.

It's not a matter of my children being inconvenient to me. It's a matter of the situation being inappropriate for them. In that way it's very AP to find another kind soul for them to hang with while I get a necessary appointment taken care of.

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#26 of 84 Old 08-26-2009, 11:31 PM
 
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I agree with what's already been said. It's not fair to my son to drag him along to my appointments and I do have several chronic conditions so these happen regularly. When he was younger and not walking, it was easier but now? Fuggedaboutit! He is also the type of child who cries if it's not mommy or daddy watching him so that makes things extra challenging.

As a patient, I also don't think I'd appreciate my appt. being disrupted by someone else's bored kids especially if I had to make arrangements for mine!

However, for the OP, yes the receptionist was rude and I do understand your situation, I too have bad back pain. I give you credit for even going ahead with your appt. because the thought of a chiro appt. with my son in the room just gets me anxious.

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#27 of 84 Old 08-27-2009, 12:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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FWIW, I just wanted to say that I fully intended to leave my kids in the child care today but when we arrived, my son got upset and said he didn't want to go, so I went with that. I had no intention of bringing them all into the appointment with me (just the baby) but when I realized he didn't want to go to the child care, I grabbed a few toy cars and their snacks out of the car and in we went.

In hind sight, I probably could have/should have explained to the receptionist what happened and ask, "Would you prefer I reschedule?"

Also, the only other patients in there were my prenatal massage therapist who referred me to the practice to begin with and she was very glad to see me and all the kids and chatted with us before she left. Then it was my appt. time. Then the lady with the crying toddler came in towards the end of my appt. That's it. We weren't disturbing anyone else.

My only other childcare option is really my dh. We have no extended family nearby.

I have brought my kids to appts. at this office before when the child care center was not open and it was a completely positive experience, unlike today. As a rule, though, I do try to not take them to medical appts. as I know it is boring for them and I certainly do not want to be disruptive to other patients. This has just been such a child friendly place in my experience, so I was shocked that this happened today.
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#28 of 84 Old 08-27-2009, 12:22 AM
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My kids are well behaved, but I would not bring them to an appointment with me if I couldn't supervise them 100%
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#29 of 84 Old 08-27-2009, 12:24 AM
 
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I will have to agree that the nurse was rude, but... I would probably be annoyed that you kids were unhappy too. Especially when there is child care provided.

We're not talking about hours or days of 'some stranger' watching your kids. Its just long enough to get an adjustment. I'm sure the nurse would have stuck her head in the daycare and let you know when they were ready for you so you didn't have to leave them longer then necessary.

I may also be a little annoyed at the general overtone sometimes that if a mother leaves her children's side for even a second she fails AP.

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#30 of 84 Old 08-27-2009, 12:32 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paxye View Post
It is really hard when you don't have childcare...

I don't have anyone around to watch my kids when I have an appointment unless DH is home (which doesn't coincide with many office hours) so I know what it is like having to bring the kids everywhere with me...

I hope she was just having an off day and things will go smoother next time...
I totally agree with this...if my DH isn't home to watch the kids then they come with me....that's life. I don't have a sitter or friends to drop 4 kids off. So making arrangements to magically find a sitter is not an option.
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