Child Protection, have you had to deal with them? How do you deal? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Have you had CPS called on you?
Yes. It was a false report 21 100.00%
Yes. It was a founded report. 3 75.00%
No. I've never had CPS called on me. 80 100.00%
Other 10 100.00%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 4. You may not vote on this poll

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 122 Old 02-05-2004, 09:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
Journey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: In a state of happiness
Posts: 2,139
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No, I'm not under investigation for child abuse. But, people have called on me because I gave birth at home unassisted, don't vaccinate, or because they were unaware that we were under a physician's care for FTT due to breastfeeding difficulties. There's been calls made in against me by people who don't know me, or who were doing it just out of spite, anger, or revenge.

I live in an area where odds are every parent will have CPS called on them by their child's 18th birthday. I was even told by a school official that by the end of the school year, every parent WILL have CPS called on them by the school. CPS does practically nothing even in cases of abuse because they are so overloaded with false reports. And, those who make false reports aren't reprimanded even though the result of their one phone call is months of intruders in the victim's home, and a lifetime of distrust and anger.

It's rape by the system, and most of the time I feel there's nothing that can be done about it. I feel so bad for other parents who go through this.


Victims Of Child Abuse Laws
Journey is offline  
#2 of 122 Old 02-05-2004, 05:38 PM
 
Evergreen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Where all the women are strong
Posts: 5,387
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Are you sure there is nothing that can be done to the false reporters? I mean you get in trouble for calling 911 if its false, right? Have you talked with your SW to see what can be done? I would consider it harrassment. I am so sorrry you are dealing with this. It must be tough- you do these things (homebirth, no vax) for your childrens' protection, and then are accused of trying to harm them.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

Evergreen is offline  
#3 of 122 Old 02-05-2004, 05:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
Journey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: In a state of happiness
Posts: 2,139
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
There is nothing that can be done. I'm not dealing with CPS right now. This was all in the past, but it still bothers me, especially when I see other parents (and children) being victimized by an agency that was put in place to protect children and families.
Journey is offline  
#4 of 122 Old 02-05-2004, 06:02 PM
 
CerridwenLorelei's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: BIG SCARY TEXAS/World of Warcrack
Posts: 5,776
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Are you sure there is nothing that can be done to the false reporters.."


No. There is a family on one of my lists dealing with this right now. Most of the false allegations have been dismissed in court but they have no recourse against who filed the false report. It is even harder if it is "anonymous" but even when CPS knows and you get charged dropped, you still are out the lawyers fees if you were able to have one or have lost your kids anyway and the false reporters go on their merry way -that bothers me -the ones that know they are lying for revenge spite etc ..
CerridwenLorelei is offline  
#5 of 122 Old 02-05-2004, 08:10 PM
 
Evergreen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Where all the women are strong
Posts: 5,387
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow that really sucks.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

Evergreen is offline  
#6 of 122 Old 02-05-2004, 10:55 PM
 
applejuice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: hunting the wild aebelskiever
Posts: 18,712
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
I have had many encounters with CPS.

Rule number one: they are never wrong.

Rule number two: if they are wrong, see Rule number one.

You have to know your rights. It is unconstitutional to appear in court as the defendant and not be able to face your accuser, therefore these anonymous reports are really a denial of your civil rights. Also the appearance at your front door with a demand to enter is a blantant violation of the Fourth Amendment.

My teenage daughter accused me of physically abusing me. The truth was that I would not let her run the streets late at night, especially school nights; one of her "friends" put her up to it. I had been attending "Toughlove" meetings, and I would make missing persons reports on her, and the juvenile police woman decided that I was "fabricating" stories. I appeared in court with her citation for smoking dope on a high school campus and with her report card, and I was totally ignored. My DH was beginning a second round of cancer treatments at the time and the judge blasted him in court because he had missed a hearing. I had lost all four of my children on paper. It was a nightmare that lasted a year. I had to prove that I took the children to school, to the doctor, to the dentist, and that there was sufficient food for them and go to psychotherapy. I had no problem doing this, but really!

The police officer that turned me over to CPS committed suicide two months after the end of my case. Her suicide was broadcast on the network news. She was a real nut case.

Meanwhile, because of this case, I can never be a foster parent.

I have written about my many encounters with CPS on these boards. They are not very intelligent. There are no critical thinking going on in their minds. The judges do not allow any discussion in the court room and behave as if they were god.

As a teacher, I am obligated to turn suspected child abuse and neglect over to CPS; I have, but I never have seen any improvement in any situation they go into.

They really have too much power.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
applejuice is offline  
#7 of 122 Old 02-05-2004, 11:03 PM
 
applejuice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: hunting the wild aebelskiever
Posts: 18,712
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
Post Script:

I have contacted VOCAL in the past, and they never did anything to help me even though I sent them $. I was pretty much all by myself.

One bizarre note:

In court, I was told by the judge that all of the cost of the therapy and physical exams would be handled by the county in which I live. I was also given a list of therapists and therapy groups which were recommended by CPS. Not one of these on the list would take me or they had at least a years waiting list. I had to pay out of pocket for psychotherapy and I had to find my own therapists and get them O.K.'d by CPS.

My daughter refused to attend most of the therapy sessions; she would disappear. I went by myself with my other children. My DH never went even though he was court ordered to. These issues were never addressed.

Edited to add:

How did I deal with this rape of my civil rights?

I simply let them mow me down.

They are simply and entirely too big and powerful. I went through the motions and got out from under their thumb. My daughter today? Still the same way. She never finished college despite the fact that I made her finish High School by exam at age 16. CPS never gave me credit for that. DH and I had $ saved to send her to a four year school and she desired to run wild instead. My DD did tell me that she was molested at a public middle school when she was 14; I went to the police to make a report, and I was laughed at by the police man; he told me to go tell someone who cared. I made an internal affairs report against this officer, and it was dropped. HOW DOES ANYONE GET ANY SATISFACTION AROUND HERE??? Has everyone gone completely nuts? My daughter is molested at school and no one cares. I try to control my delinquent daughter, and I am accused of child abuse.

That is why I just went along with the program...I thought I had died and gone to HELL!

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
applejuice is offline  
#8 of 122 Old 02-06-2004, 12:16 AM
 
liz-hippymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: deep in the heart of texas!
Posts: 1,262
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
yes " know your rights" !!!
very important when dealing with CPS. my mom (sweet huh?) called CPS on me with tons of false charges and they showed up THE NEXT DAY. heres what they want from you and what you should say/do
IF
-they ask to speak to your child alone- SAY NO , repeatedly..children can be swayed into saying anything..and often make up stories (as we all know)
-they ask you to take a drug test (and when they are asking they mean pee in a cup right here right now) ..remind them that you have a constitutional rigth AGIANST unreasonable search . that you believe strongly in your rights...that as far as you know the only one who legaly CAN require you to pee in a cup is a judge, so when one tells you to you would be happy to ablige. -say this if you are clean or not because they have no right to test you and things get skrewed up all the time, what if somehow your test shows up dirty..guess what they dont wait till you take a second test, they take your kids!
-if they ask to photograph your child- refuse, say that is unnessary. but i will let you see that he/she is not beaten and show his/her arms, legs, back and tummy.
-when they ask you for medical records they will want you to sign a release that states that CPS can have all of you medical history and your childs, and any future history!! say um NO! but i can have my pediatrition fax you over his/her last visit info and i will take him/her in tomarrow for another appointment and have that faxed also.
-by now the CPS worker is VERY frustrated with you, and you have had to repeat the word No as many times as your toddler does in a day. they will make some threat about setting up the court day to get the information they want, and you say. thats fine- BUT please direct all future calls to my lawyer, ill be having him/her call you tomarrow.

then they will leave...what happended with me is 1 hour later i got a call back form the same worker who said- she spoke with her boss and there woulld be no need to involve lawyers, it was obvious there was no abuse going on, and the case would be dropped immeadiatly.

CPS takes kids away from poor, uneducated parents. sad but true, this is more so the case than CPS takes kids away from abusive parents. CPS misses alot of real abuse cases and takes away alot of kids from parents who just needed some help (money, support, parental classes)

most of be polite but dont think they are your friends, they will act like it at first but they ARE NOT. then when it becomes clear you are not willing to be buddybuddy with them, dont be rude or loud or inappropriate, just firm and sure of yourself..
hope this helps someone.

mdcblog5.gif   Liz mama to DS 10, DSS 9, DD 6, DS 3, DD 2 , Aquila- dec 19th 2009 died at my homebirth, and....welcome Willow born 9-16-10 (9 weeks early)  nut.gif
liz-hippymom is offline  
#9 of 122 Old 02-06-2004, 07:34 AM
 
applejuice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: hunting the wild aebelskiever
Posts: 18,712
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
When CPS came to the door to investigate my sister because of a false report made by an angry neighbor, the Burbank Police told her she had to let them in.

Keep in mind that the local police do not care about your rights either. Nor do they know any thing about your rights in this situation neither.

In the above post, I do not believe that you even have to agree to have your child photographed. This could just be a negotiating point, however.

With photographs, these can be manipulated in a laboratory, so I would not trust these people with photographs of my children.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
applejuice is offline  
#10 of 122 Old 02-06-2004, 11:09 AM
 
jannan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: san francisco
Posts: 2,407
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
you guys bash cps alot and i'm really not sure why. i have never had cps called on me but my 14 year old has threatened me to do so . Know what i tell him ? go ahead. the worst that can happen is they will send me to parenting classes. i have no prior record of anything. if you are house has food in it, your children are clean why not pee in the cup? go along with them. and also children can be interviewed alone... I teach in a big city and have called cps on one girls mom whose back was welted. i'm glad i called them. the family needed help.


also, what is the point of an unassissted birth? wouldn't you want a mid-wife present to determine if medical intervention was neccessary?
jannan is offline  
#11 of 122 Old 02-06-2004, 11:55 AM
 
MamaChel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,253
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by jannan
you guys bash cps alot and i'm really not sure why.

I can answer this, at least for me. I have experienced gross mishandling by CPS form the *child's* POV. I was sexually and emotionally abused for *years*. When my school found out they made the required call- CPS picked me up from the police station after hours of questioning and called my dad. They released me into the custody of a violent abusive alcoholic- knowing that he was a violent alcoholic- family preservation or some such crap. I had 2 siblings in tha house- both were also being abused. Did CPS bother to remove them? Nope- just me-THEY LEFT MY BABY BROTHER AND SISTER IN THE HOUSE WITH A RAPIST FOR 2 YEARS!!!!!!!! I was told that I HAD to stay with my father even though he was violent and abusive ro they would drop my case, if I even hinted that things weren't perfect- they would just leave my brother and sister where they were and send me to juvenile hall. I was 13! They required no therepy to help me deal with anything. We finally went to trial after several postponements and 4 ADA's- guess what the bastard was convicted- I WAS RIGHT- he admitted later to more things than I could remember. Even after his conviction CPS did nothing to help my siblings who had been brainwashed by him into believing that I was an evil whore out to ruin his life. None of us will ever recover- I live in fear every day that CPS will once again come and destroy my family and there is nothing I can ever do to stop them. They don't care if there is abuse or not- rarely is an abused child ever removed from the abuse- if they are they are just placed in a situation just as bad if not worse. (Several children in foster care were killed by their foster parents in my area last year- that's not counting the many that are "lost") I have good reason to bash CPS and I know of MANY families with good reason as well- I have never known CPS to just send anyone to parenting classes- they take kids first and ask questions last- if they ask questions at all. They truly have and exorcse the power to make a family's life hell.
MamaChel is offline  
#12 of 122 Old 02-06-2004, 12:16 PM
 
liz-hippymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: deep in the heart of texas!
Posts: 1,262
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
applejuice- im sorry if you read in my post TO have your kid photographed- i said tell them that is inappropriate- meaning NO. but you do need to let them see visially not with a camera the childs body (not genitalia)... and i say this because i agree with you- pictures can and im sure have been manipulated.

jannon- i am frankly almost speechless after your post----
-about children being interviewed- im tlkaing about 2-5 year olds especially (which they think is old enough to interview) this age of child is EXTREAMLY easy to sway into saying anything you want them to, especially if you have experience with it..plus most children have very overactive imaginations... do you want someone asking your child, does daddy hit you- and the child remembering the ONe time daddy swatted her/him lightly on the butt, to say "yes" and then the worker says "where?" and now remeber last time your young child was sick and you asks where does it hurt and they randomly start pointing everywhere on their body- well thats what is most likely to happen.
- as far as the drug tests. hey if you dont give a crap about your rights then by all means give them away, lots of americans do every day! but remeber this- just because you dont DO DRUGS dosnt mean your pee test will be clean. dont belive me if you want, but those test do get false positives often. and what happens if it is positive?? THEY TAKE YOUR CHILD- no parenting classes, till after the fact- then your kid goes to foster care, where they are many times more likely to be abused, sexually, physically and emotionally, or even killed! AND once CPS has your kid it is HARD to get them back....so again- if you dont care about your rights or your childs safety then by all means bend over so CPS has a nice shot of your butt...tell us how that goes!
- and i have no comment for you unassited birth comment- go read about it and again-think some people like to have the RIGHT to do what they are supposed to have the RIGHT to do...


mamachel-
exactly- CPS leaves kids in bad situations, especially if they are older (14-16) because there is little money to be gained from that child- CPS gets money for every kid they place in foster care and for each month that child stays there..a 16 year old will leave soon and is VERY hard to place ina foster home, so they leave them...that is why they are so much more likely to snatch a baby or toddler, they are easy to place in foster care and later easy to adopt- tons of money for them there!

mdcblog5.gif   Liz mama to DS 10, DSS 9, DD 6, DS 3, DD 2 , Aquila- dec 19th 2009 died at my homebirth, and....welcome Willow born 9-16-10 (9 weeks early)  nut.gif
liz-hippymom is offline  
#13 of 122 Old 02-06-2004, 12:17 PM
 
captain optimism's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Good Ship Lollipop
Posts: 7,449
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 19 Post(s)
I have no experience with CPS. But I do want to point out that it is a state-run agency with local offices. So everyone's experience with CPS people will not be the same. Police in one area may have had sensitivity training for dealing with CPS issues, and in another area they might have a culture of not believing children. In one city the CPS social workers might know they get a lot of false calls and in another city, they might be seriously out to get parents. There may also be differences in how the same office treats people because of race and class.

It's the same as other institutions in this society that we deal with as parents. (And unfortunately, as children. )Some teachers, doctors, nurses and officials of the state (CPS, police) are our allies. Others are burnt out, biased against us for various reasons, or just power-tripping.

To say this:

Quote:

you guys bash cps alot and i'm really not sure why.
shows a lack of recognition that other people's experiences may be different. Or a lack of reading comprehension, since the details of what people didn't like about CPS were spelled out.

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
captain optimism is offline  
#14 of 122 Old 02-06-2004, 10:55 PM
 
applejuice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: hunting the wild aebelskiever
Posts: 18,712
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
lizhippymom:

I understand what you said, thank you.

When my daughter was taken, my daughter was placed with my sister, who grew tired of my daughter's hijinx and threw her out after ten days; my other sister took her in and grew tired of my daughter's hijinx and threw my daughter out after three months. They did not receive any $ from the county - I sent them $ personally myself.

If CPS received any $, that was a scam because I was told the county had NO $ to negotiate my case and I had to pay for it all myself. And I did. For a year.

My second sister who took my daughter in did not want any visitation from CPS. She told them if they came into her home, they could look forward to video taping of any conversation in her home and the presence of her own chosen credible witnesses. They never came. My daughter lived there for three months.

We could learn a thing or two from her.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
applejuice is offline  
#15 of 122 Old 02-07-2004, 02:38 AM
 
grisandole's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Southern California
Posts: 5,153
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
It is so true what Captain Optimism said about cps varying greatly from place to place. My mom was a foster parent, so she dealt with them, and never had anything nice to say about them (from a foster parent viewpoint). She is in CA. I dealt with them a bit when I worked at a group home in Cali, though I mostly dealt with social workers who worked for a private non profit agency that was contracted by the state; and they were okay but overworkerd, and made some really asinine decisions.

Now I'm dealing with them as we are going to be fosterparents. I live in a small town, and everyone knows each other, and there is a "crunchy" feel to the town; I've met the "head" cps lady and she seems very cool. I do know that here, cps will investigate even for a very very minor thing. They won't remove kids for a minor thing, but certainly investigate. And this particular group of workers is very much for educating parents rather than just taking babies. From what we were told, in our area, there are more cases of neglect rather than abuse; and they belived education and counseling can teach these parents how to care for their kids. Of course, if the parent's won't follow their plan, then they will move to tpr (terminate parental rights) after 12 months. In all, I had a really positvie feeling about the workers/cps here. However, I do find this to be the minority, unfortunately. And, the social workers are way overworkerd, they have double the caseload the average worker does; I believe she told us they have 30 cases each! They are trying to hire another one, though.........

I guess my long point is that CPS scares the hell out of me as a parent. I don't abuse or neglet my children; but all it takes is one phone call and one crappy worker to make my life a nightmare. And that power terrifies me. I think what we need in the CPS system is more checks and balances; one persons word shouldn't be everything. I think if there is a case, then there should be a worker for the child and a worker for the parents. To just have a worker for the family doesn't work, imo.


Kristi

"Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen." Ralph Marston

grisandole is offline  
#16 of 122 Old 02-07-2004, 03:08 PM
 
Greaseball's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Eugene, OR
Posts: 8,764
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Cop bashing? I used to be a police cadet. I'll just take a moment to say THE STORIES ARE TRUE! Racial profiling, bribes, corruption, rape, etc.

Quote:
I was even told by a school official that by the end of the school year, every parent WILL have CPS called on them by the school.
That sounds like the worst school ever. Is this a common thing? I read a lot of posts from people saying CPS can be called by the school if a child is late. And they wonder why people want to homeschool...

I have never had them called on me, but I know literally hundreds of people who have. Wouldn't you know, they are all low-income or single parents. Rich parents abuse their kids just as often; they just don't have to be punished for it.

A few years ago where I live, there was a mother forcing her 11-year-old daughter to be a prostitute. A neighbor called CPS many times and nothing was done. Then another neighbor called and reported that the child was not attending school, and CPS came right over to the house. The girl was 12, and 6 months pregnant. That may have been prevented if CPS had intervened on the original call, which is a lot worse than a child not going to school.

Unassisted birth is not a crime. Neither is breastfeeding a 6-year-old. Not vaxing is prefectly legal. Why does CPS get to take children when no crimes were committed against them?

Their strategies seem to focus more on punishing the uneducated poor single mother instead of helping the child. Most of the time, the child gets placed in a home that is much worse.
Greaseball is offline  
#17 of 122 Old 02-07-2004, 03:34 PM
 
applejuice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: hunting the wild aebelskiever
Posts: 18,712
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
Yes, Greaseball, I am a teacher and calling CPS is often considered as a remedy for students who are chronically late. I have also homeschooled.

I am in CA, and my when sister battled CPS her nonvaxing of her son was called into question in Family Court even though it is perfectly legal.

During one of my visits to the ER, I was being threatened with CPS by the attending doctor who asked about my son's vax status. I was visited by CPS six months later anyway. If I was such a terrible threat to my son's safety, why would they wait six months before checking up on me?

Like I said, I thought I had died and went to Hell each time. Nothing made any sense, so I played their game and got out of their line of fire.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
applejuice is offline  
#18 of 122 Old 02-07-2004, 04:50 PM
 
grisandole's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Southern California
Posts: 5,153
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Applejuice, when I lived in CA, I brought ds1 in for his vaxes about a month late (I don't vax anymore, but didn't know any better then) I believe it was for his 12month vaxes and I went in at 13 months or so. Anyway, the doctor threatened to call CPS as I was abusing my child by having him late on his vaxes!!! OMG! And in CA, you don't have to vax. What the hell is wrong with these idiots?! BTW, I was young and poor then.

On a positive note, I did have one positive CPS interaction. When I decided to go into dancing (stripping) when I was 18 and living on my own, my mom flipped out and told me she was going to call cps and have them take my ds1 away; and I was really concerned because she was a foster parent and knew alot of cps people. Anyway, I called cps and spoke to a worker, I told her my story and how I was all freaked out. She was cool, and laughed and told me that they would not investigate at all if they got a call like that. She was very reassuring.

It really makes me incensed that cps will intervene for being late to school, not vaxing, etc, while real abuse goes unchecked.


Kristi

"Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen." Ralph Marston

grisandole is offline  
#19 of 122 Old 02-07-2004, 05:55 PM
 
Sabrina's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 43
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
It really makes me incensed that cps will intervene for being late to school, not vaxing, etc, while real abuse goes unchecked.
I could agree with you on all but one point. Being late to school or not attending school is a parents responsibility to make sure their child does. My dd's father takes her in late all the time he doesn't take her when he doesn't "feel good" and I call the principle to be told we support the custodial parent. WTF??? First of all we have joint custody maybe you need a lawyer to read the files I sent you. But they see him as custodial because his address is used for school despite what our papers say. DESPITE the fact that the judge says noooo joint. Despite all of this and everything else she is still with him jointly and it's WRONG!!!! But the school won't help me, they won't call me when he sends her with out hat & gloves in the winter when she could be frost bit.

Soooo CPS is a joke the school system is a joke, FOC is a joke all the agencies are, but I really wish the school would call for these things because then I'd know she as safe with me and not with him.
Sabrina's Mom is offline  
#20 of 122 Old 02-07-2004, 07:28 PM
 
Greaseball's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Eugene, OR
Posts: 8,764
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Quote:
Anyway, the doctor threatened to call CPS as I was abusing my child by having him late on his vaxes!!! OMG!
That's dumb...often when I've scheduled dd for an appointment well in advance, the office calls me and says the doctor won't be in that day after all.: It's not the parents' fault if they don't do it on time.

I challenge anyone from CPS to explain how being late to school is harmful to a child.
Greaseball is offline  
#21 of 122 Old 02-07-2004, 08:46 PM
 
Sabrina's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 43
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Being late to school and missing school does have harmful effects on a child they miss out on some of their education. I feel that is important I'm sorry if you don't. But that's is the way I feel.
Sabrina's Mom is offline  
#22 of 122 Old 02-08-2004, 12:59 AM
 
Greaseball's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Eugene, OR
Posts: 8,764
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
School is not the only place a child is educated. I'm sorry if you feel that it is. How will a child's future suffer because he was late to 3rd grade math a few times?

Adults are late to work a lot. Maybe someone should call the police.
Greaseball is offline  
#23 of 122 Old 02-08-2004, 01:13 AM
 
TiredX2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: it appears to be a handbasket
Posts: 20,475
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
CPS takes kids away from poor, uneducated parents. sad but true, this is more so the case than CPS takes kids away from abusive parents. CPS misses alot of real abuse cases and takes away alot of kids from parents who just needed some help (money, support, parental classes)
I wish this wasn't true, but it is! I feel so fortunate because if CPS ever comes to our house the first call is to DH the second to our lawyer and that will be it. They won't be allowed int, the won't be allowed access period. DH's cousin has had numerous problems w/CPS that I 100% know I would not have. Why? Because we have $ (not a lot, but enough to get legal proteciton when we need it!).

Quote:
Being late to school and missing school does have harmful effects on a child they miss out on some of their education.
I would agree that "being late to school and missing school CAN have harmful effects" but not that it does. B & SIL took their kids out of school for three weeks to take them around the country--- I'm positive they learned more than in school. DD & DS will probably not go to school until college and I'm pretty sure they will be well educated.

 

 

TiredX2 is offline  
#24 of 122 Old 02-08-2004, 01:37 AM
 
Greaseball's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Eugene, OR
Posts: 8,764
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
There are mothers here who are bfing 4- and 5-year-olds, and I bet they will never have to worry about CPS because they are middle-income professionals. But if ebf were being done by a former teen mom or very low income woman, that would be "abusive.":

I don't think they can punish a false report because people are allowed to call anonymously.

Though we are poor, I am fortunate enough to be married. I bet that helps a lot. I hope I never see the day when someone tries to take my child away because they think they know more than I do.
Greaseball is offline  
#25 of 122 Old 02-08-2004, 02:07 AM
 
Sabrina's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 43
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My ex consitantly brings her late not just a few times, and I do educate my daughter at home as well but she gets a bulk of her education at school when she's missing tests that allow her to pass on I'm concerned and if you weren't concerned with that than I'd be surprised. I also want to point out she misses school because he is too "sick" to get out of bed so she'll miss school and roam the house by herself. She's gone to school without breakfast because again he was late, and so she misses part of class AND breakfast.

She also goes to school 1/2 the time with out proper clothing when she is with him. I have continuosly asked the school to call me when these things happen that I will bring up what is necessary. But that doesn't happen the school is also responsible as well as her father for the neglect of my child. Ohhh and the court system too.

Sometimes being consitantly late, or missing classes is a sign to an underlying issue like neglect.
Sabrina's Mom is offline  
#26 of 122 Old 02-08-2004, 02:09 AM
 
Sabrina's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 43
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
DD & DS will probably not go to school until college and I'm pretty sure they will be well educated.
If I could homeschool my child I would, now missing their homeschooling assignments won't that have a negative effect the same as missing school? She goes to public school so yes her missing school has a harmfull effect on her and her situation.
Sabrina's Mom is offline  
#27 of 122 Old 02-08-2004, 07:33 AM
Liz
 
Liz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,348
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by Sabrina's Mom
My ex consitantly brings her late not just a few times, and I do educate my daughter at home as well but she gets a bulk of her education at school when she's missing tests that allow her to pass on I'm concerned and if you weren't concerned with that than I'd be surprised. I also want to point out she misses school because he is too "sick" to get out of bed so she'll miss school and roam the house by herself. She's gone to school without breakfast because again he was late, and so she misses part of class AND breakfast.....
I think your issue is with your husband. If you have joint custody it is up to you two to communicate. It is not the school's job to tell you your husband did not do his job.
Liz is offline  
#28 of 122 Old 02-08-2004, 12:44 PM
 
Sabrina's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 43
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
I think your issue is with your husband. If you have joint custody it is up to you two to communicate. It is not the school's job to tell you your husband did not do his job.
And what do you propose I do if I can't get it through his head? Because that is the case, then what I am supposed to let her go hungry, miss out on her education, worry that she'll get hurt while he sleeps the day away and she roams the house while she is SUPPOSED to be in school? I have offered my help to him when he is too "sick" I've tried everything. Now it is time for the school, & the government to help me out since he obviously doesn't care. Yes ideally since we have joint custody we should be able to communicate, but when one parent thinks he does nothing wrong and won't listen to what the other parent thinks might remedy the situation then yes I expect the school to help me out to better care for my child. Tell me why they won't call me when she's not dressed properly so I can bring up the proper things?
Sabrina's Mom is offline  
#29 of 122 Old 02-08-2004, 03:15 PM
 
Greaseball's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Eugene, OR
Posts: 8,764
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Sometimes parents can't do anything about the fact that their kids are late. What if the kid rides the bus, and then when he gets to school just runs around goofing off with friends? Why should the parent be punished for that?

I wonder how much time is taken away from real cases of abuse so CPS can handle school-related crap.
Greaseball is offline  
#30 of 122 Old 02-08-2004, 04:43 PM
 
TiredX2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: it appears to be a handbasket
Posts: 20,475
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Totally OT:

Quote:
If I could homeschool my child I would, now missing their homeschooling assignments won't that have a negative effect the same as missing school?
:LOL We unschool and don't have assignments. I don't think it has a negative effect at all (and so far, our school district liason & pediatrician would 100% agree!). Oooh, I think my bias against "school/assignments/set hours" is beginning to show :LOL

 

 

TiredX2 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off