Vent-MIL dropped my Baby! - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-07-2009, 03:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So we had my son's first birthday party today, very small and really just immediate family and a couple of close friends. It went well and he really had a blast. It made my heart all melty to see him so happy :.

So just about everyone had left except MIL and 2 friends. MIL was about to leave and she bent down to pick up DS who was facing away from her. I was standing right there watching but I'm still not certain whether he got squirmy or her hands slipped but as she lifted him just about knee level she DROPPED him on his FACE:!!!!!

I swear it was THE loudest thud I ever heard in my life and my heart stood still. My poor sweet baby screamed and screamed. I basically threw everyone out and nursed him and rocked and kissed him to calm him down. Thankfully, no blood, no broken teeth. He has a red bruisy looking mark on his left eyelid and forehead: but I can live with that. Of course, very little sleep for me tonight as I'll be watching him breathe!

So yes I am venting because I know it was an accident but I am still pissed!

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Old 09-07-2009, 03:18 AM
 
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s it is hard to see our little ones hurt but go easy on her. she loves him and did not mean to hurt him and probably feels just awful about it.

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Old 09-07-2009, 03:20 AM
 
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ouch...poor baby....I bet your MIL felt really bad though
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Old 09-07-2009, 03:22 AM
 
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That's awful. I can imagine how you feel. I'd probably be pissed too. Hugs to you and to your little baby boy. I know the no-sleep feeling. I have to watch them breathe for a while too. Try not to stress too much.

Jessica, mama to Emma, 7, Mattie, 5.5 and Lilly, 3 and someone new this Halloween-ish.

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Old 09-07-2009, 03:30 AM
 
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Your poor MIL probably feels even worse than you do!!!

I hope your LO is alright. s, mama.
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Old 09-07-2009, 03:33 AM
 
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When my ds1 was 12 and dd was 1, he picked her up and she kicked and squired and he dropped her on hard kitchen floor! I know he felt horrible, she cried, HE cried!! It was awful all the way around!! So sorry your little one got hurt! That really sucks! I second though that I bet mil is probably beside herself over it too!

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Old 09-07-2009, 03:36 AM
 
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I'm sure your MIL feels really bad. When I was 20, my aunt asked me to help bathe her ds. He was 8 months old, and hated being bathed. I thought she was just going to put him in his tub, and just have me entertain him. But, she wanted me to physically hold him in the air while she bathed him. Everything was going well, and then he started getting squirmy. I didn't drop him, but he bucked back in such a way that he hit his head on the corner of the wall. SO hard. I had never heard a child scream that much. I was so terrified, and the guilt I felt was enormous.

To this day, even though he's 5, I cringe and feel guilt when I think about it. I feel like it was my fault. I had never hurt a child before that day, and ... I'm just so glad he was OK. I still don't know why my aunt had this bizarre way of bathing him or why I agreed to it.

So ... I'm sure your MIL also feels incredibly bad.

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Old 09-07-2009, 04:26 AM
 
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I basically threw everyone out and nursed him and rocked and kissed him to calm him down....So yes I am venting because I know it was an accident but I am still pissed!
Omigosh. I feel terrible for MIL!!!

You just threw her out? You didn't even let her hang around to make sure the baby was okay and that SHE was okay? Things like this tend to affect the adults much more than they affect the children - he'll likely forget, but she won't.

While it's terrible your child was hurt, I am really just like this: reading this....what a terrible thing to do to your MIL.

Put yourself in her shoes for a moment and wonder how you'd feel if you were the cause of another child's pain and instead of being allowed to apologize over and over and release your sorrow and humiliation and hang around until you knew the child was okay, you were just thrown out?

Your MIL may very well have gone home heartsick, worried about her grandson, worried about your reaction to her, wondering if you hated her, wondering what to do to make things right again.
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Old 09-07-2009, 04:36 AM
 
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that's scary and I'm sure you were scared, he was scared and your MIL was scared. My kids have both fallen from similar or higher heights and been fine. (Heck dd rolled off our bed TWICE in one evening - cutting her ear badly the second time - I felt AWFUL.)

Tomorrow, after you've calm down, call your MIL and say "Just wanted to let you know he's OK."

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Old 09-07-2009, 05:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Omigosh. I feel terrible for MIL!!!

You just threw her out? You didn't even let her hang around to make sure the baby was okay and that SHE was okay? Things like this tend to affect the adults much more than they affect the children - he'll likely forget, but she won't.

While it's terrible your child was hurt, I am really just like this: reading this....what a terrible thing to do to your MIL.

She's fine. DH was driving her home and his 2 friends were here so no I didn't actually say "Everyone get out" . I just kind of grabbed my baby who was my first and only concern at that moment and waved goodbye at all of them. Under normal circumstances there would have been hugs and last minute conversations and such. Obviously not so much this time.

Of course she was upset and when DH came home he told me what they discussed in the car. She got quite teary and he told her that of course it was an accident however maybe with her progressing arthritis and the fact that DS is bigger and more active, it might be better to take better precautions in the future. She agreed. I'll call her in the morning as it was quite late when he got back home. I'm not mad at her and I know that it must have been upsetting to her. I just can't get that thud outta my mind, ack!

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Old 09-07-2009, 08:55 AM
 
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Hugs. I bet MIL feels AWFUL right now too . I remember when my niece was only a few months old and I knocked her head against the corner of a wall as we were walking past. She screamed but was ok but OMG I wanted to disappear and I felt horrible.

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Old 09-07-2009, 09:00 AM
 
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She's fine. DH was driving her home and his 2 friends were here so no I didn't actually say "Everyone get out" . I just kind of grabbed my baby who was my first and only concern at that moment and waved goodbye at all of them. Under normal circumstances there would have been hugs and last minute conversations and such. Obviously not so much this time.

Of course she was upset and when DH came home he told me what they discussed in the car. She got quite teary and he told her that of course it was an accident however maybe with her progressing arthritis and the fact that DS is bigger and more active, it might be better to take better precautions in the future. She agreed. I'll call her in the morning as it was quite late when he got back home. I'm not mad at her and I know that it must have been upsetting to her. I just can't get that thud outta my mind, ack!
THat's good, then! It's always so easy to misread posts when you don't know the whole story....I just jumped on the words like "threw everyone out" and "still pissed" thinking that's what you really did and that's how you really felt towards her. Glad to hear that's not the case!
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Old 09-07-2009, 09:06 AM
 
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Of course she was upset and when DH came home he told me what they discussed in the car. She got quite teary and he told her that of course it was an accident however maybe with her progressing arthritis and the fact that DS is bigger and more active, it might be better to take better precautions in the future. She agreed. I'll call her in the morning as it was quite late when he got back home. I'm not mad at her and I know that it must have been upsetting to her. I just can't get that thud outta my mind, ack!
I was wondering if she has arthritis or something. My neighbor (an older lady) does and she would not hold my kids when they were babies because she was afraid she would drop them.

I'm glad your little one is okay!

I remember once when my oldest was maybe 6 months old, BIL picked her up and was kind of swooping her up into the air and sort of konked her into the ceiling fan. She was fine and I didn't think much about it but he kept bringing it up for a long time. So I bet your MIL does feel bad, he sure did!
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Old 09-07-2009, 11:20 AM
 
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Sorry that happened!!! It is so scary, my dh dropped dd2 on HER HEAD on the TILE floor.
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Old 09-07-2009, 11:24 AM
 
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I dropped my 9-month-old on the floor after nursing tripping over the Boppy. It happens.

I don't think it's something to get angry about. It was an accident.

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Old 09-07-2009, 11:58 AM
 
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I dropped one of my own babies at 3 months in a sling incident , so I know how horrible everyone must be feeling right now. Unfortunately, accidents happen but fortunately, babies are resilient. I'm so glad to hear he's doing okay! I bet your mil feels horrible (esp. on his birthday!) though I'm sure that's hard to imagine right now

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Old 09-07-2009, 12:05 PM
 
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I dropped my baby once. She was reaching for something, and her weight shifted, and she just tipped away from me. It was awful.

It can happen to anyone.
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Old 09-07-2009, 12:21 PM
 
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I get the impression that I am totally callous, but I try not to react much when stuff like this happens. Kids fall. Kids fall from scary-to-us heights. Unless there is blood or gore I check my daughter out to see if she seems still in one piece and then I sit down and gently rub her back. I try to remain calm (hard, I know) and just talk to her about how she's going to be just fine.

Maybe I have this attitude because of how many times she has fallen and gotten impressive goose eggs. She just seems destined to hit the floor a lot.... (I haven't actually dropped her, but by one she had already earned herself impressive injuries from falling off of furniture.)

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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Old 09-07-2009, 02:26 PM
 
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I get the impression that I am totally callous, but I try not to react much when stuff like this happens. Kids fall. Kids fall from scary-to-us heights. Unless there is blood or gore I check my daughter out to see if she seems still in one piece and then I sit down and gently rub her back. I try to remain calm (hard, I know) and just talk to her about how she's going to be just fine.

Maybe I have this attitude because of how many times she has fallen and gotten impressive goose eggs. She just seems destined to hit the floor a lot.... (I haven't actually dropped her, but by one she had already earned herself impressive injuries from falling off of furniture.)
I've wondered if mine have some sort of magnetic draw to the floor

I know how must feel- worried, anxious, never letting go of your child again

I really hope your mil is ok- like a pp said your little one will forget but she'll ALWAYS remember.

When my first was about 6 months my uncle's wife (who had been ttc for two years) sat her up on the floor, and let go. She tipped, hit her head and ended up with her first goose egg (first 'owie' ever). My aunt was crying, as was the baby, and we all just sat there while I nursed, teary eyes everywhere. She still feels horrible, even though my daughter's eight. Now she (my aunt) has a wonderful little boy, and occasionally brings this up- usually when someone gets hurt. I really wished that I could have gone back in time, for her.

Anyway, glad your son is feeling better! what a way to end the party, eh?

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Old 09-07-2009, 02:48 PM
 
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I get the impression that I am totally callous, but I try not to react much when stuff like this happens. Kids fall. Kids fall from scary-to-us heights.

I'm sure people think I'm callous about my kids when they fall or bump themselves. I will check quickly to make sure things are okay, but tend to minimize or ignore the event. Dd especially is a total drama queen and very intense. I learned a long time ago that if I make a big deal about every little bump, she will focus on it for a very long time - much longer than is warranted. Most of the time I'll give her a "Ouch, that must have hurt!" and a "Shake it off, Sal!" kind of response. If she really carries on, I'll ask if she'd like the amputation done at home, or at the hospital.

If I get upset, she gets even more upset, and will not let it go.

OP, I'm glad your baby is fine, and your MIL is too. I'm sure she feels awful about it.
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Old 09-07-2009, 03:06 PM
 
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Be easy on her-it happens. My Dh once tried to pull DD's pants up and she lost her footing and went THUD right on her face, it scraped her nose and she bled. DH felt like crap. I also last spring was walking with my friend and it was a little chilly DD put her hands in her pockets and then tripped right on her face, bloody lip, bad scrape on her nose. I felt terrible that I hadn't remembered her gloves because that may not have happened.

I'm another who may be a bit callous, but kids fall on their face a LOT. I've gotten pretty used to it, especially since my DD is a full on runner and very athletic, she is constantly bruised up from falling on her knees. Right now she's got a bruise on her bum and I have no idea where it came from. She's gotten really good at the tuck and roll though, thank goodness.

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Old 09-07-2009, 03:55 PM
 
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I get the impression that I am totally callous, but I try not to react much when stuff like this happens. Kids fall. Kids fall from scary-to-us heights. Unless there is blood or gore I check my daughter out to see if she seems still in one piece and then I sit down and gently rub her back. I try to remain calm (hard, I know) and just talk to her about how she's going to be just fine.

Maybe I have this attitude because of how many times she has fallen and gotten impressive goose eggs. She just seems destined to hit the floor a lot.... (I haven't actually dropped her, but by one she had already earned herself impressive injuries from falling off of furniture.)
I often joke that #2 had a magnet in her face. by her first birthday she had recieved 3 full body xrays to find the damage. Once she fell out of bed (who would expect a 4 month old to be crawling?) once I slipped on ice and she went flying out of my arms and landed on her forehead (the only one that I was truely scared about) and once she took a dive out of a grocery cart. Same dd sports a huge scar because I smacked her n the face with the sharp side of a chefs knife. doh! you know carrying a knife down by your side is safest...unless you two year old has stealthed up beside you.... So yeah I would have been more concerned about my MIL than my dd had that happened to me. after all it was just a little bump.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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Old 09-07-2009, 04:25 PM
 
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I often joke that #2 had a magnet in her face.


Ds2 is the same way (he gets it from me! )!
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Old 09-07-2009, 05:54 PM
 
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I am so glad he is okay. I read the title of this thread, and my heart just sank.

When Jordan was about 18 months or so, my DH sat her on the counter for a second with his arms around her, and you can only guess what happened next. God, I was pissed. I wanted to yell, scream, blame...but I didn't. He didn't think and felt horrible enough as it was.

From that day, he never put any of our kids on the counter again.

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Old 09-07-2009, 06:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so glad he is okay. I read the title of this thread, and my heart just sank.

When Jordan was about 18 months or so, my DH sat her on the counter for a second with his arms around her, and you can only guess what happened next. God, I was pissed. I wanted to yell, scream, blame...but I didn't. He didn't think and felt horrible enough as it was.

From that day, he never put any of our kids on the counter again.
Yikes, that must have been scary. That's exactly how I felt, mad but not AT her, KWIM?

Now to all who revealed their own stories, thank you for sharing, I certainly had enough of my own through childhood . DS gets into everything and has had plenty of headbumps and bruises and I really don't make a big deal out of them. A few weeks ago he even tripped into a metal rod in a store display and got a nasty gash on his cheek and I didn't freak. But THIS was different. I'm also a nurse and I know that brings a double edged sword into my parenting. Head trauma just scares me due to the things I've seen in my career. But I'm moving past this and on to the next mommy adventure .

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Old 09-07-2009, 10:58 PM
 
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I get the impression that I am totally callous, but I try not to react much when stuff like this happens. Kids fall. Kids fall from scary-to-us heights. Unless there is blood or gore I check my daughter out to see if she seems still in one piece and then I sit down and gently rub her back. I try to remain calm (hard, I know) and just talk to her about how she's going to be just fine.

Maybe I have this attitude because of how many times she has fallen and gotten impressive goose eggs. She just seems destined to hit the floor a lot.... (I haven't actually dropped her, but by one she had already earned herself impressive injuries from falling off of furniture.)
Me too.

I do my best to stay calm and matter of fact about falls and bonks on the head, even when dd is freaking out. I have had lots of practice though. DD has fallen put of 2 different beds, fallen down 3 sets of stairs (at different times) and bonked her head into many various walls, chairs and other obstacles.

Heck just today I was trying to pick her up at the mall as she was melting down and the exact same thing that happened to the OP's MIL happened to me. Her poor head nade an impressive thud on the tile. She's fine, currently dancing and drumming on the coffee table, and the goose egg is smaller than I expected.

Kristy, wife to Josh proud mama to Katie: since 3/08 and Emma since 8/12.

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Old 09-07-2009, 11:02 PM
 
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heres a big hug and hope he feels better soon.

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