I went OFF on a lady at Sam's Club yesterday - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 05:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm still not sure how I feel about my behavior. On one hand I feel badly for yelling at her, especially in front of my son, but on the other hand...maybe she'll think twice before making nasty comments.

The scene: We had just gotten done shopping at Wal-Mart (save the flames) and I had 10 minutes till Sam's Club closed. I left my teens at the van to load the groceries and ran into SC with my 3-year-old. He was very upset that he couldn't stay with his older brother and sister and began throwing a fit. Yelling, hollering, waving his hands, etc. all the while walking beside my cart. I needed 3 items, and we were in there literally less than 5 minutes (not going wasn't an option; it's a 45 minute drive one-way). Obviously I tried to comfort him and told him that I understood he was upset, etc. but that he couldn't stay with my older children because it wasn't safe.

As I was checking out, the cashier just smiled and gave me a sympathetic look. As I was beginning to walk out, my son refused to walk any further for just a moment and was crying. I walked on about 5 feet to see if he would follow, then went back and picked him up. (he was by NO means hysterically throwing a fit, wasn't fighting me, etc....just crying).

As I was walking with him, we passed an older lady who says (to herself) *just* loud enough for me to hear, "He needs his butt smacked."

: Umm, what?!

I rounded on her and said, "WHAT did you say?"

She kind of backed up a bit and repeated that he needed his butt smacked.

At this time, I kid you not, everyone around us just stopped and watched. You could have heard a pin drop.

I put my finger in her face and said (loudly) "I think YOU need YOUR butt smacked!!"

She didn't have a reply.

I turned and walked off, and on the way out, a SC employee who had been in front of us (and who had turned to watch) apologized to me.

Whew. I am still furious when I think of that lady. Has anyone else ever had something like this happen?

edit: "Older" does not mean "elderly/frail/ect" - in this case it meant early a lady in her early 50s, so please don't worry that I shouted at some elderly woman three years off the grave.

A happy woman
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#2 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 05:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by operamommy View Post
"I think YOU need YOUR butt smacked!!"

+ = and .
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#3 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 06:00 PM
 
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I put my finger in her face and said (loudly) "I think YOU need YOUR butt smacked!!"

::

I can't imagine the look on her face!
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#4 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 06:07 PM
 
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I put my finger in her face and said (loudly) "I think YOU need YOUR butt
I love it!!

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#5 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 06:09 PM
 
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Nice concise reply!
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#6 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 06:11 PM
 
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I put my finger in her face and said (loudly) "I think YOU need YOUR butt smacked!!"

Fabulous.

-pixie, my dear, and (A-88), N-98, Littlest-06/00-08/00, J-03 & Little Miss Cotton Ball Button-03 (SN), S-05, Hope-loss 09/09, Bean-loss 04/10, and littlePopcorn due feb. 8th -11.
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#7 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 06:15 PM
 
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One concice sentence is not "going OFF on a lady" IMO. You didn't go on a tirade for the next 5-10 minutes screaming a string of obscenties at her, and nobody had to come and "break it up".

I bet that lady thinks twice before making comments like that in the future.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19 (in Israel for another school year), Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 12(homeschooled)
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#8 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 06:24 PM
 
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Me with my baby girl Maeleigh (Oct 08) and My (step) baby girl Whren (May 05) in Heaven with her mommy .. And introducing our little JuneBug (June 10) We heard the !!!
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#9 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 06:25 PM
 
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Except for the finger in her face part (no judgment intended, my finger points out far more often than is absolutely necessary ), that if ROFLMAO funny and good!
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#10 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 06:34 PM
 
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I LOVE IT!
I wish I had been there. I never have the wherewithall to say what I'd really like to say in situations like that!
I'm sure its not something you are really proud of (losing composure in front of DS) but I think it's great! And I HOPE that busy body lady thinks twice before advocating for abusing a child again! Bravo mama!

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#11 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 06:41 PM
 
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I wish I had been there to see it!

My baby is 2 years old! How did that happen?!
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#12 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 06:42 PM
 
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I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to do/say something like that!
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#13 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 06:51 PM
 
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Totally appropriate response on your part.
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#14 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 07:14 PM
 
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amazing!

"The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes." -Harold B. Lee
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#15 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 07:22 PM
 
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that is not "going off on someone" . that was freaking brilliant.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#16 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 07:25 PM
 
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I absolutely agree, 100%! That is the single most perfect thing you could have said to her. I am always thinking of perfect responses to things like that about a day after it happens. Good for you for speaking up for you and your son and for preventing another mama from hearing her ignorant comments on a nother day. Bravo!!!

Formerly single Mama to the zaniest boy on the block, born on my birthday on 3/28/07. Soon to be Mama to a new little and can't wait to bfinfant.gif and femalesling.GIF and familybed1.gif again! 
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#17 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 07:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
One concice sentence is not "going OFF on a lady" IMO. You didn't go on a tirade for the next 5-10 minutes screaming a string of obscenties at her, and nobody had to come and "break it up".

I bet that lady thinks twice before making comments like that in the future.
This would be "going off" on someone for me. I'm very introverted, a peace-keeper and generally don't like to stir things up. Generally, I would have later on had a conversation with my DD about other peoples' rude comments (if she'd heard it) rather than zinging one at someone, but sometimes I wish I did just say something.

I think this was AWESOME!

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#18 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 07:33 PM
 
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i agree with what you said!! an awesome comeback.
something similar happened to me. I was in a babies clothing store shopping for my daughter as i was shopping, my daughter started crying so i tried to comfort her and it wasn't working so i went the ladies room to nurse her. As i get out i hear an older lady telling a worker oh people shouldn't bring there screaming babies to a store its so rude! I wish i had spoken up to her but instead i ignored it. Its a clothing store for kids what does she expect!!!
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#19 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 07:35 PM
 
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I'm proud of you, Mama

I once said to an older lady who said to me on seeing both my children wanting me at the same time in Nordstrom whilst visiting San Fran;
Rather you than me - said with an unappreciative look in my direction, tut tutting quietly....
I said I'd rather be me than you, too. Much.

I felt great for days afterwards.

well done, not going off at all, perfect.

::::
Welsh Mummy to My long awaited beautiful boy and girl. Proud Wife of my best friend.
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#20 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 07:39 PM
 
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wow, how rude of her! and after the news story this week about that guy in walmart i imagine i would have a difficult time being civil to someone who said something like that about my kid.

Mama to Jet 6/05, Marvel 8/06 and Cash and Fox 2/09
Expecting Ada Marianne 11/14
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#21 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 07:39 PM
 
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awesome!
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#22 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 07:59 PM
 
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I guess for me it would depend on whether or not my child heard her or not. If he did hear her, then I'd do something about it. If not, then I really don't see a reason to get so upset about it. The elderly lady was expressing an opinion that she probably should have kept to herself, but, unless the comment hurt the child, throwing it back at her doesn't serve much purpose (except for possibly feeling self-righteous about it).

Even if the comment did hurt the child, I'd probably just explain later that the lady probably has a lot of anger that she doesn't know what to do with and hearing a child crying in a store seemed to make the anger flare up, for whatever reason.

This is just the way I go about life, though. I guess you could call me a pacifist...I simply like to look at it as trying my best to understand myself and other people in order to be as compassionate as possible.
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#23 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 08:01 PM
 
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1. You'll get NO flames from me for shopping at WalMart. We save over $100/ week by doing our grocery shopping there, so anyway...

2. I love your retort. You did AWESOME!!!!!

Kirsten - wife to Mark and co-sleeping, breastfeeding mother to , :, and
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#24 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 08:04 PM
 
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Can I just say that I see no problem leaving a three year old in a car for 5 minutes with his teenage siblings.
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#25 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 08:09 PM
 
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WTG Mama!!!!!
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#26 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 08:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by operamommy View Post
"I think YOU need YOUR butt smacked!!"
Wow. This just made my day. You are my hero.

“War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.”
― George Orwell, 1984
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#27 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 08:37 PM
 
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that is not "going off on someone" . that was freaking brilliant.
:

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#28 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 08:48 PM
 
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Awesome response!

Libby blahblah.gif, momma to my precious little girl (6/29/07) 
                        and wonderful little man (12/1/10)

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#29 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 08:51 PM
 
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I LOVE it.
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#30 of 198 Old 09-07-2009, 08:56 PM
 
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Can I just say that I see no problem leaving a three year old in a car for 5 minutes with his teenage siblings.
That was my first thought- then it was followed by thinking that this woman now has someone to 'blame' for your child being at the end of his rope.

*shrug*

I generally try not to add fuel to the fire with that sort of situation. I can certainly appreciate your response, and don't see it as wrong at all- it just isn't the path I would have taken because I'm not outspoken.
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