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#61 of 284 Old 10-22-2009, 05:59 PM
 
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well, I POAS.....




it was negative (insert hugely relieved smilycon here)


understand, we want more kids in the future...but my world is a mess right now, and DH and I want some time to get things straight budget wise, spendsome time on ourselves () get the house cleaned up a bit, etc. I actually called my momma in tears....she had lots of sympathy for us.

The drama however is not over, because AF is still not here, and nowhere in sight. I will POAS again on Monday...so I'll let you all know then....

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#62 of 284 Old 10-24-2009, 11:10 AM
 
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Happy Busy Weekend everyone!


(bump)

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#63 of 284 Old 10-24-2009, 11:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Heidi!

Isn't this only your 2nd PPAF? My cycles were wonky and long for a bit... you may just be slowly regulating back to normal.

Hoping you get a negative on Monday.

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#64 of 284 Old 10-24-2009, 11:27 AM
 
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OMG! I have found my people! I will post after frantically cleaning the house
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#65 of 284 Old 10-24-2009, 12:04 PM
 
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welcome!

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#66 of 284 Old 10-24-2009, 08:39 PM
 
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OMG! I have found my people! I will post after frantically cleaning the house
Welcome!



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#67 of 284 Old 10-25-2009, 12:33 PM
 
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Hey all! So after my last post I went and checked out every ADD book from the library. It is amazing how much they resonate with me. I'm not ready to try meds yet, I am breastfeeding and I'm just not willing to risk it. I'm going to try some other things first. I do have a question for you ladies, though. How on EARTH do you remember to take pills? I am SO bad with it. I can be good for like a day or so, but even with the little pill box, I have a really hard time remembering. That's why I could never do birth control pills, cause I would forget and then it messed with me pretty bad. Also, now that I know what my problem is, I can see the things I do that are causing problems in my relationship. Being impulsive with my words, quick to anger...I was hoping that knowing this would help DP to be a little more understanding (not that I'm not trying to work on it) but I still feel like he thinks I should be a certain way (not going to happen unless maybe I'm on meds). How do I get him to understand that who I am is not going to go away? I can "work" on certain things till I'm blue in the face and the fact of the matter is, my brain cannot "do" things the way he thinks it should.

Anyway, hope you're all having a lovely weekend! Oh, also, do you guys go to any other sites, like forums for ADDers? Thanks!

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#68 of 284 Old 10-25-2009, 03:51 PM
 
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Hah! A forum for ADD'ers! that'd be a good idea! (never thought of that! heheh)


As far as remembering to take pills...when I'm pregnant, DH puts a sticky note on the coffee pot! I have found though, that using my hyperfocus, I CAN create habits one at a time. I basically create a compulsion to do soemthing.

Keys- I designated a basket and put it right inside my door. All of my keys are on one ring (except my Church key). Immediately upon entering, I put my keys in the basket. In the ten years since I began this habit I have only locked myself out of my house four times. Now, for me that's a huge success.

Vitamins- same thing. Come downstairs, take vits, pour coffee and cereal. Make lunch, take vits. It has to be very simple. It's easy to notice when I'm hungry, so that's when I take my vitamins.

These are the only two things I have successfully created a habit for.

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#69 of 284 Old 10-26-2009, 04:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey, zipworth!

codysmama - but who would moderate such a forum???? I'd totally WANT to moderate, but never get around to it.

There are websites that e-mail you reminders - I used that when I was pg with DS for my vitamins. (I'm a compulsive computer-user )

Heidi, any POAS updates?

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#70 of 284 Old 10-26-2009, 08:48 PM
 
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POAS update.... (by the way you all will be sick of this by the time I have anything figured out) yesterday AM....Negative.

BUT- and this is a HUGE BUT, I got four negs w/Milo before I got a BFP, yes four, and I KNEW I was Pregnant. so this is at best inconclusive.



On a different subject- as of Nov. 2 we will have insurance. DH and I are both going to be seeing counsellors- he for Aperger's testing (and anger), and me for my ADD/Anxiety.

I am very excited for the Holiday Season to begin. We will be able to do a small but respectable Christmas this year.

And class starts in two weeks.

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#71 of 284 Old 10-26-2009, 09:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
POAS update.... (by the way you all will be sick of this by the time I have anything figured out) yesterday AM....Negative.

BUT- and this is a HUGE BUT, I got four negs w/Milo before I got a BFP, yes four, and I KNEW I was Pregnant. so this is at best inconclusive.
So are you getting that feeling again? Keep in mind that even if you ARE pregnant again (and the timing's not so good), you won't have baby for another 8 months or so, right? So at least it's not immediate baby, you know? Small comfort, but a bit of comfort nonetheless.

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On a different subject- as of Nov. 2 we will have insurance. DH and I are both going to be seeing counsellors- he for Aperger's testing (and anger), and me for my ADD/Anxiety.

I am very excited for the Holiday Season to begin. We will be able to do a small but respectable Christmas this year.

And class starts in two weeks.
Yay for insurance! It always amazes me that we're so similar, Heidi. I'm pretty sure DH is a mild Aspie as well and he gets frustrated and angry soooo quickly that it's shocking. And, well, you ALL know my ADD/anxiety stuff.

I'm actually wondering about starting Lexapro to ward off PPD (which I had with DS) immediately postpartum. I'm also planning on encapsulating my placenta (no idea how THAT is going to work), because I don't care how gross it sounds to me, if it keeps me from PPD again, I'll do it.

And yay for modest Christmas! We actually have a Christmas tree that's really nice that DH bought the first year we were married and we haven't put up since. Do you want it for this year, or will you do a real tree?

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#72 of 284 Old 10-26-2009, 10:12 PM
 
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Ohhhh, real tree for sure! DH and I might even be able to get each other gifts!

Do you take an Omega three supplement? I took one while pregnant with Milo, and it helped immensely. Less Mommy Brain, more even keeled emotions during PG, too. I had a good PP time after Milo, especially considering the situation we were in, with DH having lost his job, no insurance, etc. I got a softchew type.

No, I'm OK, now about a maybe baby...I wasn't, I was scared. But as I look back over the last year, and I see how God has taken care of us, I can trust that He will continue. DH has started looking for a bigger car. And yes, I have some familiar symptoms. I won't go into details here!


Smee- about your DH, it does explain a lot doesn't it? I wonder if the anger is triggered by the whole 'missing social cues' thing? Always feeling half a beat behind? I have felt that myself, especially in group conversations and it is unnerving and embarrassing. The more He talked about it, the clearer it became to him.


'que sera, sera'

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#73 of 284 Old 10-27-2009, 12:37 AM
 
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oh oh oh, i figured it out I figured it out.. I hope I hope... hand in the air widly waving...

Pee On A Stick????


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OMG! I have found my people! I will post after frantically cleaning the house
Welcome!
Ha, I babysat today just to get motivated to clean. :doh I am sooooo glad I don't have twins.
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codysmama - but who would moderate such a forum???? I'd totally WANT to moderate, but never get around to it.

There are websites that e-mail you reminders - I used that when I was pg with DS for my vitamins. (I'm a compulsive computer-user )
Really? where?

Rofl, someone who wasn't ADD?

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POAS update.... (by the way you all will be sick of this by the time I have anything figured out) yesterday AM....Negative
Naw. . . I got 3 negs w/A, knew I was. And that was 5 weeks after LMP, I mean, ovulating was 3 weeks after, but that was after my arm breaking and was wonky. But I looked at one a couplr hours later and saw that faint line, hadn't been looking, waaaah, it's too late at night to get another test! Dark a week later.

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I'm actually wondering about starting Lexapro to ward off PPD (which I had with DS) immediately postpartum. I'm also planning on encapsulating my placenta (no idea how THAT is going to work), because I don't care how gross it sounds to me, if it keeps me from PPD again, I'll do it.
I did mine, haven't ground and encapsulated it. I seriously need to be taking it. Or get AF--yeah right.

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#74 of 284 Old 10-27-2009, 05:35 PM
 
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I cleaned off the top of the toy shelves today! Now Henry's crafts and 'school' stuff is up there. I wanted to get more done today, but the washing machine has malfunctioned, and it kind of threw me off. Oh, I did get the sewing room/toy room/living room cleaned up and all the toys put away. It still needs vacuumed though.






Man, I feel like I could sleep for week. :yawning This grey day has really gotten too me. I have officially recovered my sense of humor about this whole thing.

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#75 of 284 Old 10-29-2009, 12:21 AM
 
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Heidi-that's great about insurance! Nice to know you can actually DO something.

I made a Dr. appt for tomorrow for a referral to a psychologist/mental health counselor/what have you. I'm amazed that I actually did it and didn't put it off for months! But I have just had it. I don't even want drugs I just want to talk to someone. It's like, as soon as I really embraced my self-diagnosis, so many things started to make sense. And I'm wondering if I don't also have adrenal fatigue from the years of stressing myself out to get anything done.

Which brings me to today, I had a SUPER crappy day, headache, overwhelmed with messiness...and as I was driving to pick up my co-op order, it dawned on me that I was feeling super depressed about having ADD. Because all this time I've thought, oh in a few years when the kids get older, I'll be able to get my s*** together. Or, someday, I'll be organized and have the life I picture and won't have to struggle. But the fact is, I'll ALWAYS struggle. My brain will always be this way. And I guess it was just super depressing to realize that I will have to struggle with my ways forever. On the other hand, it also makes me realize that I really do need to take control and help myself out rather than playing the lazy victim. DP is so good though. When he came home I was curled up on the couch, kids running wild. He brought me some pain meds for the headache and then proceeded to cook dinner (mac and cheese!), do the dishes and pick up a bit. Ah, it was wonderful to have a short nap and not have to THINK for two seconds.

Also, I've come to the conclusion that I will NOT be taking over the board treasurer position for preschool next year. I do NOT need to do that to myself. And I should not feel bad about it.

Anyway, sorry to go off there, but this is the first thread I think of lately when I want to vent!

Oh, by ADD forums I meant like I've gone to these ADD sites lately (can we say, hyperfocus??) and trying to get a glimpse into others' add lives and how they cope. Like ADDerworld and yahoo groups of ADD women and stuff. Just trying to connect and get help!!

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#76 of 284 Old 10-29-2009, 12:27 AM
 
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Which brings me to today, I had a SUPER crappy day, headache, overwhelmed with messiness...and as I was driving to pick up my co-op order, it dawned on me that I was feeling super depressed about having ADD. Because all this time I've thought, oh in a few years when the kids get older, I'll be able to get my s*** together. Or, someday, I'll be organized and have the life I picture and won't have to struggle. But the fact is, I'll ALWAYS struggle. My brain will always be this way. And I guess it was just super depressing to realize that I will have to struggle with my ways forever. On the other hand, it also makes me realize that I really do need to take control and help myself
big, big to you. THis was a rough patch for me too, when I went through it. It's easy to stay in one 'place' and not start anything....I call it being a victim of my own inertia. an object at rest stays at rest, etc. etc..... I aplaud you for getting something done bout it.

I too, just need to talk to someone about it.

and for DP's who can cook!

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#77 of 284 Old 10-29-2009, 04:17 PM
 
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BTW......





AF is here.

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#78 of 284 Old 10-29-2009, 10:01 PM
 
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I've found my way back to this thread......I have an appt to meet with a therapist tomorrow and I'm really hoping that I make it work with this one, because he is totally bending the rules for me as far insurance so that I can afford to see him, and if I can't go there then there will be no therapy at all. And I know I need it for a variety of reasons that are too exhausting to even ennumerate.

One question for you all who have done therapy: did you focus on the ADD and then find that your other issues resolved (like anxiety, depression, etc) or did you do therapy for another issue or a specific problem (like, for example, I'm staying with mom and it's extremely stressful) and that in turn helped you to cope with ADD? Does that make sense? He asked me to decide what I wanted to work on first, because there are so many issues, and I was kind of thinking to myself "um....you're the professional....you tell me!"

On a positive note I actually forced myself to get up and go out today with ds. I didn't clean the house like my mom wanted but I did manage to go to a job interview (on the bus, with ds, no small feat in this city that doesn't believe in reliable public transit), call about a dozen more prospective jobs when we got home, and cook dinner for everyone.....cajun chicken, rice and sweet potatoes. And then I got into a yelling match with my mom and we all ended up eating dinner in separate rooms. But hey, life isn't perfect, lol.

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#79 of 284 Old 10-29-2009, 10:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yay for AF!

waiting, no help here. No therapy for me.

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#80 of 284 Old 10-29-2009, 10:27 PM
 
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oops, lol, I missed that the first time around. I saw the "BTW..." and I kept saying, btw what? lol

glad to see AF finally showed up!

Very blessed mama to one bouncin' boy bouncy.gif (12/07) one angel3.gif who didn't get to stay (6/09), one potty learning, mess making divaenergy.gif(4/10), and one cheerful milk monster. aabfwoman.gif (12/11) Happy partner to the love of my lifedp_malesling.GIF.  

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#81 of 284 Old 10-30-2009, 12:10 AM
 
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oops, lol, I missed that the first time around. I saw the "BTW..." and I kept saying, btw what? lol

glad to see AF finally showed up!




When I did therapy, it was so long ago...I was a teenager! I don't even remember what we 'counselled' about!


IDK...... good luck! yay for you for going on a job interveiw with your ds AND making yummy dinner!

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#82 of 284 Old 10-30-2009, 03:05 PM
 
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Because all this time I've thought, oh in a few years when the kids get older, I'll be able to get my s*** together. Or, someday, I'll be organized and have the life I picture and won't have to struggle.
I can totally relate.

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One question for you all who have done therapy: did you focus on the ADD and then find that your other issues resolved (like anxiety, depression, etc) or did you do therapy for another issue or a specific problem (like, for example, I'm staying with mom and it's extremely stressful) and that in turn helped you to cope with ADD? Does that make sense? He asked me to decide what I wanted to work on first, because there are so many issues, and I was kind of thinking to myself "um....you're the professional....you tell me!"
With one therapist I tried focusing on the ADHD and how to cope with it. I was supposed to fill my 'tool box' with solutions.

With my current therapist I am focusing on my past and how it affects my present. It's more the stereotypical talk therapy. I'm having more success with my current therapy.

For me it's been more helpful to focus on all kinds of emotional issues. All the tips in the world for coping with adhd will not help me if I keep banging my head on these deep seated issues: self-esteem at the bottom of the barrel, self-loathing, fear of dealing with the public, fear of failure.

It's like when you read those inspiring articles in the glossy magazines about organizing your closet, complete with great photos of rows of expensive organizer boxes, neatly labeled. You go to replicate that in your own closet but-

It takes forever to get started. You can't afford the nifty boxes anyway. You don't know what to do with the 7 y.o. stack of papers. The kite that you bought last March that you never used because that would entail organizing an outing sends you into a blue funk of regret. You put some coats the kids have outgrown into a bag to give to charity and notice it's time to pick the kids up from school.

So you shove the bag into the closet, bury the offending kite in the back where you can't see it, shut the door and go get the kids.

I'm making a little more headway discussing my childhood and teen years and my experience with new motherhood. I'm better understanding why I think the way I do, why I put off cleaning the house or making appointments and all that. Believe it or not, understanding my relationship with my mom from when I was 13 y.o. does have bearing on why I never get around to painting the living room.

Someone moved my effing cheese.
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#83 of 284 Old 10-30-2009, 04:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Believe it or not, understanding my relationship with my mom from when I was 13 y.o. does have bearing on why I never get around to painting the living room.
Oh my gosh, yes. I find that things are worst when I'm deliberately NOT talking about something. When things are getting out, regardless of whether it's stressful or great, I get more stuff done.

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#84 of 284 Old 10-31-2009, 10:50 AM
 
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hmmm...journeymom....i think the therapy I'm doing is along the lines of understanding the past. It's weird because it is sort of a relief to talk about it, honestly, and not get blown off, but at the same time, having been raised in the "suck-it-up, don't wallow" mentality, every time I think about talking about my past with someone for 45 minutes, I think to myself "I should really be DOING something right now instead of sitting here whining about stuff that happened 15 years ago."

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#85 of 284 Old 10-31-2009, 03:37 PM
 
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i've been reading this and some other ADD posts on mdc and around the web for the last few weeks and i am feeling so relieved to have found you all! i finally understand why i am the way that i am. its ADD. to a t. i cant believe i spent the last 10 years of my life thinking i was lazy and completely unmotivated and absolutely stupid. wow. what a realization!

that said, im ready for a diagnosis and i want to look into meds. i am still nursing my 16 mo. anybody take meds while nursing a toddler? which ones? i work ft so he really only nurses at night.

also, how do i go about this? i have a well woman check on the 23rd and could talk to my ob/gyn about all of this. but i almost feel like i cant hold out until then.

i recently became a single mama and this has really helped me to realize how negatively affected i am by the ADD. my house is a total disaster. i can not keep up with it. at all. we cant get out the door. i forget my sons food at home almost everyday. and i feel so depressed and overwhelmed by it that when i do have time to work on something i just sit on the couch and zone on the tv.

i really feel like i need to try medication to kick start myself. i am starting to suffer at work, where i use to be able to hyper focus but not anymore. now i just surf the web all day (guess where i am right now!) and only get anything done when my deadline is the next day. i want to start online classes in the spring and i know that without help and organization i will end up dropping them and losing my financial aid money.

and on top of all that i am falling in love with a dear friend and the last thing i want to do is invite him into my ADD mess. he is super clean and my house... well. i guess he is my adderall or what have you because its only clean when he is about to come over. and i only finish work in a timely manner when i want to get out of here early to go and see him. but i don't want him to think i am something i am not. ADD is a large part of why my last relationship didn't work out, although i think this man would be much more sensitive to the effects of ADD then my last partner who just figured i was lazy and didn't care enough about him to keep the house clean.

anyway, ::gulp::. hi

  

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#86 of 284 Old 10-31-2009, 06:16 PM
 
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Hi all...

kristinekristine- Welcome! the more the merrier!
YOu said so many things in your intro post that I totally relate to. One of the reasons I need to get counselling right now, and possibly meds, is that my ADD is affecting my relationship with DH. And i can't keep the house clean, which affects my self esteem which affects the way I can communicate ...etc. etc. ad nauseum.
to you about your previous relationship...

journeymom- YOur post is me... What can I say....i would seriously love to rent a dumpster, and just trash more than half the stuff in my house. I just can't deal with it anymore.

waiting2bemommy- I was raised in the same environment. Suck it up, don't complain (even if there's a legitmate cause- I mean ESPECIALLY if there's a legitimate cause!) if a first you don't succeed try try again..... All that did was reinforce the feeling that I must be stupid or crazy, because nonone else seemed to be having such a hard time with life as I was, so there must be something wrong w/me, right? Couple that with hearing, "you're smart! you could DO it if you REALLY tried!"

Unfortunately this carries over into how I treat DH, even though I try not to, I still find myself spouting at him all the insane bull----- that my mother spouted at me. Not that he hadn't already heard enough of that growing up already!

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#87 of 284 Old 11-04-2009, 06:36 PM
 
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after a terribly long search with lots of dead ends i finally have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow! but now i'm freezing up! what do i say? i printed off some articles and add symptoms that i identify with but i'm feeling really nervous now. i mean things are really out of control and i need help but i am scared to admit that, especially as a single parent what if she thinks i'm not well enough for him? or what if i lie and she thinks i'm not bad off enough for meds?

  

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#88 of 284 Old 11-04-2009, 11:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kristinekristine View Post
after a terribly long search with lots of dead ends i finally have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow! but now i'm freezing up! what do i say? i printed off some articles and add symptoms that i identify with but i'm feeling really nervous now. i mean things are really out of control and i need help but i am scared to admit that, especially as a single parent what if she thinks i'm not well enough for him? or what if i lie and she thinks i'm not bad off enough for meds?
you took the words right out of my mouth! I find myself censoring a lot of what I say in therapy because a lot of my issues revolve around my parenting. I get nervous because they are mandated reporters. You know, like saying (even in total jest) "I was so aggravated I wanted to smack him!" or something like that, it can be interpreted wrong. you know you wouldn't actually do it but it could be taken the wrong way. But since I know I don't have the brain-to-mouth filter that other people have, I'm always extra careful about what I say about my ds. I'm sure that is impeding my therapy, but .

Oh and I would think that asking for meds is a good thing, right? It shows a definite desire to help yourself be better for your child. I don't think they would judge you as a parent for taking medication. I mean, they couldn't take him away if you took blood pressure medication, or were having chemotherapy, right? It's the same thing, we have a disorder, problem, whatever and we need medication in order to function optimally.

Other than that, good luck! Let us know how it goes.

Very blessed mama to one bouncin' boy bouncy.gif (12/07) one angel3.gif who didn't get to stay (6/09), one potty learning, mess making divaenergy.gif(4/10), and one cheerful milk monster. aabfwoman.gif (12/11) Happy partner to the love of my lifedp_malesling.GIF.  

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#89 of 284 Old 11-05-2009, 11:53 AM
 
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write it out? gives you a chance to reveiw/edit.


nak

computergeek2.gif  wife to bikenew.gif and momma to my intact boys headscratch.gif 06/19/06 and mischievous.gif 10/10/08 We delayed/selective vax; constantly wash.gif  always intactlact.gif

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#90 of 284 Old 11-06-2009, 01:32 PM
 
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well it didnt go after all because my insurance is apparently terrible. they will cover $50 and the intial evaluation is $350, oy! so now im not sure what to do. there is one other place but they are only accepting state health care rigth now (i make too much to qualify) and the other community health center will do counseling on a sliding scale but they wont prescribe ADD meds for anyone over age 21.

is it possible to get a diagnosis and medication from a regular md? i used to see this kind of snarky guy when i was a kid, i could go to him i suppose? and then pair it with counseling at the other place becaase i probably do need that anyway.

  

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