ADD Support Thread *THREE* - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-01-2009, 01:03 PM
 
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Thanks Jess, and I hope you trials go very well.
I will checkout that Hale's site. Milo is over 1 year old, but he still nurses a lot at night. Which one gave you headaches?

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Old 12-01-2009, 01:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
3. I am afraid that if anyone really knows how crappy I am as a housekeeper, cps will come and get my kids. I have to go open myself up to a whole nother human, and risk rejection! I don;t know this person! I don't know if she's a good doctor or a crap one. oh, and I hate doctors. forgot to mention that.
You're not a crap housekeeper! Sure, your house doesn't look like a Martha Stewart staging, but your boys are clean (as clean as boys that age can be ) and your house doesn't have trash all over it, and let me tell you - you've got meals down pat. I haven't even BEGUN to understand how to feed DS a balanced meal for lunch, but every time I go to your house, something yummy is in the works. CPS would laugh if the counselor tried to say you were a bad mom.

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negative needing chemicals thing- sigh... I should be able to do this without help right? I mean that's what everyone else is doing. not you guys, I mean, but all of the other mommas around me do just fine! Darnit, why do we not talkm more about how hard it is to be a momma? I know that the five other moms in my church specifically can't be having as peachy-easy time as they act like!
Keep in mind, you probably are going a different journey with your boys. Especially with GD and a system that respects your child instead of just leaving him to figure things out on his own, you're on a totally different path (probably) from the women at your church. You're not doing what every other mom does for their kids - you're going above and beyond, trying to develop boys who are respectful, full of confidence, and who will have a great relationship with their parents. So yeah, they may be having it easier than you - but in 5 years when their 9yo is talking back and sullen and you're able to reach out to Henry and sit down and talk with him, your hard work should pay off.

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as far as meds go, I need to be on meds, even if it means weaning. There, I said it. I am crying crap crap..... I had a nursing goal of 2 years this time, and Milo has gone from baby to 1 year old so fast I feel like I wasn't even there. My nipples are so bad with psoriasis right now, I don't even want to nurse. My self esteem is so low right now, and that's not normal for me.
You may not have to wean. When I was on Lexapro after DS was born, I didn't have to - and even the meds that are mildly contraindicated, my FP said at worst, you could go down to nursing once in the morning and taking your pill right afterwards. So you may have options that won't require you to wean.

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And if you need to wean, we (well, I'm pretty sure I can speak for everyone here) will have tears and hugs for you and support you in that, too.
Yup.

Jessica! Sounds like you need some today, too.

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Old 12-01-2009, 03:42 PM
 
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Thanks Sara...you are the voice of wisdom today.

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Old 12-04-2009, 02:34 AM
 
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I just want to cry right now. I had the WORST day at work, got myself together, went and had a wonderful u/s (thanks to my coworker who gave me a ride), got home and popped onto craigslist, and discovered the MY JOB is posted. They didn't even try to hide it; the name of the center and everythign si right there to see.

I KNOW I am messy. I also know that I am a GOOD teacher. I love the children. I am good at teaching. But I am disorganized and scattered. I am struggling to keep up. I really, really, REALLY don't want to lose this job. Ds and I are having a hard time in our current living situation and we will probably be moving into a shelter housing program soon. I cannot, on top of that, make him change schools. Its just too much. I don't want ot do it to him. My heart is just breaking for my ds because I want SO BAD to do everything right, and I am feeling like a total failure right now. I am trying really ahrd at work, I am. I'm so overwhelmed. There is paperwork to keep on top of, paperwork for social services. I still haven'r collected all my paperwork for the job (like references and such) becase I'm at work from 8-6 every business day and I don't have a car to do errands on my lunch break. When I think about all there is to do I just feel like I start to shut down mentally.

I'm drinking more coffee than I should be being pregnant, because that's my way of self-medicating to help me get through the day. I want to go t the dr and get medication, but I can't take off work t go and she doesn't have evening/weekend appts. I have to go to that dr because I still don't have my medicaid and she is the only person who will see me and work with me giving me samples and such.

I just needed to vent I guess. I'm feeling like a total failure right now....I know i'm overreacting (my bf says it's the hormones, lol). I can't keep just drinking coffee (not that it completely works, but it helps) because at my midwife appt tuesday I was dehydrated and I'm sure it's due to me drinking the caffeeine and not replacing it with enough water.

I just want to burty myself somewhere for a while until it all goes away. I just want to keep this job, for ds' sake. I know I CAN do it, if I could just get orgainzed and get everything straight. The whole center is chaotically run and lacking in basic supplies but I NEED to make this job work, fr ds' sake. I'm just.....ugh.

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Old 12-04-2009, 05:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 12-04-2009, 06:48 PM
 
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So... I haven't participated AT ALL in this new thread. And barely in the last one. Jeez, you'd think I had some kind of attention issue...

waiting2bemommy... many hugs.

Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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Old 12-05-2009, 02:31 AM
 
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waiting2bmommy-

ITU about wanting to go hide in a hole for a while... I am terrified of ever having to re-enter the work force because I am exactly the same way. How entirely crappy of them to post your job!

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Old 12-07-2009, 05:16 AM
 
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Hi, I'm new to the thread. I haven't had insurance for awhile and finally do & have an appointment on Tuesday. I have suspected that I've had add/adhd (is there a difference?) for awhile. I'm going to tell my doctor on Tueday and see what he says. Can you tell me what to expect? How do they go about diagnosing? What meds have worked for you? From what I've read, stimulants are best. I'm a little iffy about them, but I guess it's no different than the pot of coffee I drink daily, right? I've read that Strattera is good and non-stimulant, but there isn't a generic for it and I can only get generics. Thanks for answering my questions!

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Old 12-07-2009, 03:35 PM
 
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Waiting2bemommy if I could just get organized is a common sentiment for all of us, I suspect.

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Hi, I'm new to the thread. I haven't had insurance for awhile and finally do & have an appointment on Tuesday. I have suspected that I've had add/adhd (is there a difference?) for awhile. I'm going to tell my doctor on Tueday and see what he says. Can you tell me what to expect? How do they go about diagnosing? What meds have worked for you? From what I've read, stimulants are best. I'm a little iffy about them, but I guess it's no different than the pot of coffee I drink daily, right? I've read that Strattera is good and non-stimulant, but there isn't a generic for it and I can only get generics. Thanks for answering my questions!
ADHD = attention deficit hyperactive disorder. This is the official term in the medical community. But it's still referred to as ADD in the non professional world.

Not everyone with attention deficiencies is particularly hyperactive. This is described as Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Predominantly Inattentive Type. Some people say ADHD non H. For myself, I simply say adhd, even though I'm not at all hyperactive. I think getting very specific with the alphabet soup is probably most important to the medical community. It IS important to not overlook the non-hyperactive, primarily inattentive types. These people were/are overlooked a lot, because the squeaky wheel gets the grease, the hyperactives attract more attention. Think of the wiggly, disruptive school boy vs the day-dreaming school girl.

The medications that were created specifically for adhd are stimulants. But other medications are used to treat attention deficiency symptoms as well. Like antidepressants, anti anxiety meds and mood stabilizers.

For example I take Wellbutrin for depression, but it does help me focus. I take Lamictal for mood swings, but again it helps me focus. People have attention problems for different reasons.

As far as medication is concerned be prepared to experiment. Doctors do their very best to make a good diagnosis, but it really comes down to treating symptoms. I think most adults dealing with cognitive disorders have tried several meds before they find a good solution.

1) With any one med try different doses. There is a balancing point where you get the most benefit from the med you can with the least amount of side affects.

2) Give the med plenty of time to work. The manufacturer may say it takes 2 weeks or 6 weeks to come to full effect, but seriously, give it longer than that.

You should expect that this is simply the beginning of your journey. You'll progress in fits and starts. Keep an open mind. You need to simultaneously be a firm advocate for yourself (because YOU are IT! There is no one else in this world who will toot your horn better than you.) and be patient with the doctors. So much of this is guessing and experimenting.

Studies have found that while medication is helpful, people benefit much more when they add some kind of therapy.

An interesting side-by-side comparison of adhd and bipolar II.

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Old 12-07-2009, 05:21 PM
 
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journeymom- I think its safe to say this is one thread you can't kill!
Although I seem to be doing my best!


Hi inkslinger. I drink a pot of coffee too, but am terrified of stimulant meds. ITA with everything journeymom said. I say ADD for myself, because I am mostly never hyper, unless I really like you and you come over to my house. Then I can't shut up. I suspect I hover, too.

Congrats on getting an appointment! I hope it goes well for you.

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Old 12-09-2009, 02:31 AM
 
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bump


I had my appointment today...thanls to smee who watched my boys.

I will write this out later when I have energy.

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Old 12-10-2009, 10:43 PM
 
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I haven't been around much.

waitingtobemommy, can you call and leve a message for the doctor to return your call?

Hi everyone, I've been more active over on Gentlechristianmothers and just worn out. Also trying to di Christmas projects. Agggh!

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Old 12-15-2009, 06:39 PM
 
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if ADD/depression was completely ruining everything (ok, it's probably not ruining everything, but it's pretty bad) and you couldn't get in to the doctor in the foreseeable future (and this is the only doctor you can see because of having no insurance) would you consider buying off someone else?

I wouldn't think twice about it if I weren't pregnant. I am desperate. I am having the feeling of wanting to do something crazy just so someone will NOTICE how bad I am struggling. I am only keeping together for my ds. My whole life is up in the air right now because of my lack of focus and my apparent inability to SHUT.UP. I have no social skills according to my boss. I'm suspended for 5 days because of something I blurted out that was taken offense to (and I did NOT mean it that way, at all.)

My kid is always mad at me because I am the enforcer of all things evil like baths, and goig potty, and tooth brushing and bedtime. All the fun stuff, grandma takes voer and doesn't give me a chance to enjoy my child. I cna't enjoy him, but I am sitting here struggling so hard to keep my s*** together for HIM, and I can't even enjoy reading a book to him or playing wtih him without being told I'm doing it wrong or having ehr take over. All I do is fight for everything from the minute I wake up til the minute I go to sleep. I was supposed to be moving soon which would have tremendously helped my emotional state, but with a 5 day suspension there is no way I will be able to afford it now.

someone I trust is willing to give me a bottle of celexa (a really low dose). It looks safe for pregnancy from the research I have done. Would you take it? I really feel like if I don't take something NOW, I might just have a total breakdown.

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Old 12-15-2009, 09:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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waiting2bemommy,

To answer your question........... I'm not sure. I would probably go postal on my mom first (safer than going postal at work, you know?). You can't ask the doctor to call in a low-dose prescription?

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Old 12-15-2009, 10:12 PM
 
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waiting2bemommy,

To answer your question........... I'm not sure. I would probably go postal on my mom first (safer than going postal at work, you know?). You can't ask the doctor to call in a low-dose prescription?
I'm going to call again tomorrow and ty to get across that I am feeling really desperate to get what I need to function. In addition to ADD I have depression that mostly flares up under stress (don't we all) plus I have been having anxiety attacks again.

As far as going postal lol, I can't go anywheres near postal with my mom because she would LOVE any excuse to call me unfit and involve CPS or just make my life a living hell by trying to get me declared unstable or incapable of caring for ds. she's a;lready done it a couple times. So I have to be really careful not to show any signs of mental illness around her; I just let her think I am lazy and don't care because being labeled immature or ungrateful is a lot safer than letting her find out that I am really struggling.

She is the one who went behind my back and canceled my first doctor's appt a couple months ago, which is why I haven't been yet....I had to wait for an opening that didn't mess with my work schedule (because if I leave work for the appt I have to take the bus and it will basically eat up my whole work day, unpaid plus they don't like us to schedule appts during work hours)

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Old 12-16-2009, 02:27 PM
 
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Waiting2bmommy ~ I'm so sorry! Why would your mom cancel your appointment? I know the feeling of desperation.

I've been waiting for about two months to finally get my referral and have my appointment. The time is DRAGGING. Plus I'm trying to get organized for Christmas and then go and have Christmas at mom's, Mil's, here. My life is sucking for me right now. I am SO short-tempered. Even in the morning when I first get up. My older DS just needs me so much and it is SO irritating. He is 4.5!!! To make matters worse, the parent educator at preschool told me she thought he should be evaluated for developmental delays/disabilities. Great. I'm trying to figure myself out here and now I have to figure him out too!! This has not been easy on my relationship with DP. I took the PPD quiz (granted my baby just turned one!) and I scored pretty high. I just want to be happy! I think for me, right now, depression is at the top of my list. I need to take care of that before I can work on the ADD. Although I'm sure the ADD is some of what's causing the depression, but there is more to it than that. Lately I've been feeling SO burnt out on being a mom. Really questioning my desire to BE a mom. Although I can't change anything now. I know I need to get out more. Now that the baby is one I feel like maybe I"ll volunteer a couple of evenings or something.

Right now I just need to get through Christmas!!

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Old 12-17-2009, 05:15 PM
 
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waitingtobemommy- I can't say enough that I am so sad you have to go through this with your mom right now. I agree with smee, call your doctor and make noise until someone listens. How could she cancel your appointment? Unless she lied and said she was you, they should not have cancelled it for her. Please call the office and let them know what she's up to, and settle on a security question so if you do have to cancel, they will know it's you.

IRT whatever you blurted out- I get so angry over this. I don't like to say that having ADD makes us broken, but many times I have wished I could say, 'hey listen, I'm not going to be able to meet that standard, so deal with it!'. I mean, if we could only use one of our arms effectively 50% of the time, we'd get a statement of disablity- but no, it's only our BRAINS, so it can't be seen, and we're out of luck.

cody'smama- I am sorry you are so depressed. It's the issue that eclipses everything else for me right now too. Our ds's are about the same age, and Henry (DS1) we just got some things figured out for, but its been a long battle for him too. I'm just trying to say you are not alone, and I think I understand where you're at right now. Your whole post is pretty much me.


AAM- OK, so Last week I had my appointment. She said I needed immediate chemical assistance. So I've been on Zoloft since Thursday. I wish I could say I'm all but really I'm just Whatever.

No, it HAS taken the edge off. I feel clearer-headed, and I can think when I sit down to read my class books or study or write. I am not as irritable with the kids. In a week I will be premenstrual, and we'll see if it helps with that- it'll be the 'acid test'.

What hasn't changed is the fact that I still cannot deal with my world. I really would like to try an ADD med after she's satisfied w/the zoloft.

That's about it...I'll be seeing her twice a month.

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Old 12-18-2009, 12:11 AM
 
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heidi--I'm SO glad for you...I mean I know it's not perfect yet, but it must at least be a good feeling to have your saner self self back at least a little. I know it's a really bad spiral for me when I'm irritable with ds.....it fuels a lot of negative self defeating thoughts that make me more cranky and so on and so forth. So I'm glad you've got that part resolved.

As far as my mom, she is very manipulative. She is so manipulative in fact that she manipulates herself into thinking she's not manipulative. She is always doing things that put her at the center of attention, or that put me at the center of attention (in a negative way, usually) that will involve her "rescuing" me. Happily the office called today and I was able to get in tomorrow at noon sicne someone canceled.

I am trying really hard to disengage from my parents (and I have my fingers crossed on moving sometime soon) but since I don't have insurance and they do, this particular doc is willing to work with me on payment/free samples because she has seen my parents for 3 years now and likes our family. The trade off is that my mom is privy to all my business as a result.

Cancelling an appt is nothing for my mom.... she is VERY convincing and could sell snow to an Eskimo if it suits her purposes.....she once tracked me down all the way in the Dominican Republic, another time in TX, another time in a DV safe house. Every single person who gave her information in those situations had been explicitly told that she would try to find me, and not to give out my information, but she was able to get past all of them. She also has literature pertaining to getting your adult child committed to a mental institution, or getting "custody" of an adult child who is too mentally unstable to care for themself, and of course then you get to keep the grandchild all to yourself.

So yeah, I'm scared to be here, but I need the medication before I try to make anohter move. Because if I do move and I keep a messy house, or I show up late to work, or do anything that isn't "model parenting," and my mom calls CPS on me.....I don't even want to think about it. And she WILL know. She knows everything. I don't know how, bu she does.

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Old 12-18-2009, 12:47 PM
 
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waitingtobemommy- your mommy is a totally toxic person! anyone would be crazy and overwhelmed trying to keep ahead of all that! I have no idea how it feels but hugs anyway, and I hope you can get away from her! I'm glad you got an appointment.

and yeah, it's nice to feel a little saner!

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Old 12-18-2009, 01:23 PM
 
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Hi guys! So yeah, i dissapeared. (can't spell that word...) With the "new" (not so new anymore, lol) baby I couldn't keep up. I just kinda stopped coming to MDC at all and have been only checking facebook and my email for a while. I'm actually being more productive with a baby than I was while pregnant, she keeps me on my feet by grumping any time I'm on the computer, lol. I've been trying flylady again....I'm still on day 10 after about 6 weeks. Trying to take it real slow so I don't get overwhelmed but noew I'm kinda stuck cuz i feel like I can't add anything else until I have the basic routine down every day, but i can't have it down every day cuz it all depends on when the baby wakes up and if she naps...which changes from day to day. yeeeah...so anyways I'm gonna try to read back a little and see what you all are doing. Just wanted to say hi!

Genie, mama to T (4/02), I (10/04) and T (7/09)
 
 
 

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Old 12-18-2009, 05:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
OK, so Last week I had my appointment. She said I needed immediate chemical assistance. So I've been on Zoloft since Thursday. I wish I could say I'm all but really I'm just Whatever.

No, it HAS taken the edge off. I feel clearer-headed, and I can think when I sit down to read my class books or study or write. I am not as irritable with the kids. In a week I will be premenstrual, and we'll see if it helps with that- it'll be the 'acid test'.

What hasn't changed is the fact that I still cannot deal with my world. I really would like to try an ADD med after she's satisfied w/the zoloft.

That's about it...I'll be seeing her twice a month.
Zoloft is used to alleviate symptoms of premenstrual dysphoric disorder, so it may actually help you with pms.

If the side effects from Zoloft aren't unbearable, give your mind plenty of time to get used to this new experience. This is just my take on my own experience: I felt the expected benefit from the antidepressant within a few days, leveling off at about a week and a half. Then began the re-learning process. Because I'd been depressed for so long my view of myself and the world had gotten pretty jaundiced. When some of the depression was lifted (and it's never completely gone away, and I don't expect it ever will) I started to see the world a little differently and unconsciously I started getting new thought habits. These seem to me to be the secondary, indirect effects of the medication, and this is where the real progress, real healing is.

Someone moved my effing cheese.
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Old 12-20-2009, 08:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by journeymom View Post
Zoloft is used to alleviate symptoms of premenstrual dysphoric disorder, so it may actually help you with pms.

If the side effects from Zoloft aren't unbearable, give your mind plenty of time to get used to this new experience. This is just my take on my own experience: I felt the expected benefit from the antidepressant within a few days, leveling off at about a week and a half. Then began the re-learning process. Because I'd been depressed for so long my view of myself and the world had gotten pretty jaundiced. When some of the depression was lifted (and it's never completely gone away, and I don't expect it ever will) I started to see the world a little differently and unconsciously I started getting new thought habits. These seem to me to be the secondary, indirect effects of the medication, and this is where the real progress, real healing is.
hhmmm.... lots to think about. The side effects are quite manageable so far. I have another appointment in January so I am sure she'll have lots to ask me about, then. I'm trying to be objective about how the medicine is working, but there aren't any fewer stressors in my life right now, and I still have ADD. oh well.


Hi mamabohl! Give us an update in the babe!

computergeek2.gif  wife to bikenew.gif and momma to my intact boys headscratch.gif 06/19/06 and mischievous.gif 10/10/08 We delayed/selective vax; constantly wash.gif  always intactlact.gif

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Old 12-29-2009, 04:32 PM
 
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We survived our family Holidays with no significant breakdowns!



computergeek2.gif  wife to bikenew.gif and momma to my intact boys headscratch.gif 06/19/06 and mischievous.gif 10/10/08 We delayed/selective vax; constantly wash.gif  always intactlact.gif

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Old 12-29-2009, 05:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yay!

Sara caffix.gif, Keith 2whistle.gif, Toby 6/08superhero.gif, Nomi 4/10blahblah.gif, Mona 1/12 hammer.gif

 

Mama of three, lover, student rabbi, spoonie, friend, musician, narcoleptic, space muffin, pretty much a dragon. Crunchy like matzoh.

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Old 12-29-2009, 11:57 PM
 
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Hey all!

Heidi- glad to hear it. We did well here too. There was too much excitement for me to get down or po'd!

I have my first appt with a counselor tomorrow. I'm kind of excited but don't want to get my hopes up. Frankly, I'm not sure what is going on with me, depression, ADD, other stuff. I had a really BAD week two weeks ago and now I feel ok, happy even. But I know that it will come eventually. Also, I started writing in a journal more, here online where it is easier to get it in. Especially if I just have one or two thoughts that I want to write down. I suppose that doesn't help curb my computer addiction though!

Hope you all have a great new year.

                                       DS 7 ~ DS 3

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Old 12-30-2009, 10:55 PM
 
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cody'smomma- I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.



Me- I'm thinking PMDD for myself- on top of ADD of course! But I should be in (proverbial) hell right now, and I am not, so the Zoloft is working, plus my vitamins, which suddenly seem to be working again.

I cleaned the toybox today, junked a bunch of broken/ripped toys and books, and put a few in a box to 'yardsale'.

computergeek2.gif  wife to bikenew.gif and momma to my intact boys headscratch.gif 06/19/06 and mischievous.gif 10/10/08 We delayed/selective vax; constantly wash.gif  always intactlact.gif

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Old 12-31-2009, 02:48 PM
 
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Heidi-that's great. Does the zoloft still allow you to feel happy? I remember taking it for about a week 10 years ago and it made me feel just kind of flat. Also, for Christmas, I told my sister I wanted her purging services. Meaning, she is going to come in for a whole day or so and help me go through stuff and get rid of/organize. And she is ruthless! Just what I need.

So at my appt yesterday, I told the gal all of the things that have been going on and she was actually quite awesome! She had this little book that she asked me questions out of and when it came to the ADD, she asked me a bunch of questions and then was like, ok, you have ADD. It was nice, but at the same time, I thought, isn't there more to it than this? As for the depression, she said I have a mood disorder-NOS. Meaning, I don't have full on depression. Which I knew all this already. But at least she was able to acknowledge it. I won't be able to meet with the prescribing nurse for another month, but I have another appt with her in two weeks. She was great, but the one thing that kind of bugged me was that when I would tell her certain things she would kind of get this look on her face of pity and say, "oh". Like she felt bad for me. Which wasn't really helping but at least it showed some compassion on her part. So I'm really excited for my next appt where I can really get some help. Plus she said I could bring DP sometime if I want which would be nice for him to understand what is going on with me.

So in a nutshell, I feel exactly the same today but I'm glad that I've at least gotten the ball rolling.

                                       DS 7 ~ DS 3

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Old 12-31-2009, 05:11 PM
 
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I get it!

Yes, I still can feel happy. In fact I feel happier, smile and laugh more, etc. I feel quite good to tell the truth. Better than I've felt in a long time. it does make me wonder though how long I've been feeling low.

I'm glad your Sis can come and help you out!

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Old 12-31-2009, 06:07 PM
 
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Yay, Heidi! I'm seriously considering meds. Maybe I should see a counselor fist. :doh

Somewhere, someone said on one of these threads, I think, that untreated ADD can cause depression, so. . .

Maybe that's been my problem my whole life.

Happy New Year's Everyone!

Mama to 2 year old and :: June 14th!
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Old 12-31-2009, 06:31 PM
 
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Oh, I wanted to add that when I went in to see the counselor I had printed off a quiz that I had taken online about ADD. It was really helpful to be able to remember what I wanted to tell her.

Maggirayne-I've read that too. Which could explain my off and on depressive episodes over the years. None of which was TRUE depression.

                                       DS 7 ~ DS 3

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