Am I the only one that watches their children? vent. - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 13 Old 09-26-2009, 09:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had a charity walk today for a medical condition that I have. There was maybe 200 people there and a bouncy thing for kids to play on. I was helping my twins take their socks and shoes off so they could play and this very sweet blonde hair boy asked me to help him with his shoes (he was maybe 3) and I did. They all played until time was up and my dh and I helped put our girls shoes on. This little boy asked me again to help put his shoes on and I did. I asked him where his mom was and he shrugged his shoulders and a little girl (around 5) said "he is with his grandmother". So I helped him and he went on his way and of course like a mother would, I kept an eye on him the rest of the day. I was there from 9-3 and never once saw anyone take care of him. We were sitting on the stage and he would walk up and talk to us then walk off and go play by himself again. We would ask him where his gma was and he would just shrug. We would ask him if he needed anything and he said he didn't. My dh said he saw him making his own food

I find it really sad that no one was supervising this little boy. He could have very easily been kidnapped and no one would have noticed. Maybe my girls are too spoiled or something but I still make their food and help them in anyway I can but geez. I felt so bad for him. He was so sweet.

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#2 of 13 Old 09-26-2009, 09:47 PM
 
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That's sad. I see that a lot, though, and it breaks my heart. It seems that some adults/parents nowadays are so displaced from their kids and so involved in their "own" lives. I guess you could look at it as at least they brought him to the harvest festival and he wasn't sitting home by himself.

That's too bad---but you were kind to help him with his shoes so he could jump around for a while. Bless your heart.
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#3 of 13 Old 09-27-2009, 12:05 AM
 
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If I saw an unsupervised 3 year old and could not locate his people, I'd be bringing him to whomever was in charge- the festival organizers probably in this case. its just dangerous for a child that young to be on his own like that. Maybe if grandma finds him at the lost and found tent, or the police station, she'll watch him better next time. Its one thing to lose sight of your kid in a crowded place, its another to leave a 3 year old unattended all day at a large public event. Anything could have happened to him. I'm surprised nobody else said anything.
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#4 of 13 Old 09-27-2009, 03:46 AM
 
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I see that every time we go to the beach and it makes me so mad. The other day, a dad and his son, who was the same age as my baby, came up to us and the boy started to play with my daughter. The dad asked if he wanted to play with the little girl and the boy said "yes!" very sweetly. I watched them for about a minute and when I looked up, the dad was gone. Totally gone. I looked everywhere for him and finally saw him later out in the ocean swimming with his older daughter.

I didn't mind babysitting at all, but WHO leaves their baby with a TOTAL STRANGER!

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#5 of 13 Old 09-27-2009, 08:03 AM
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When I see a small, unsupervised child, I contact authorities, whether it's a supervisor of the location or whoever.
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#6 of 13 Old 09-27-2009, 09:00 AM
 
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I notice and watch unsupervised children, too. I is one of the ways I make the world a safer place for children (in my own little way). You did a good thing, mama. The only thing I would have done differently (with a child that young) is make sure he was deposited back at grandma when I was ready to leave. I probably would have said "lets go find grandma" - and if that did not work I would have left him with someone in authority.
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#7 of 13 Old 09-27-2009, 09:22 AM
 
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To answer the title of your thread - I don't think you are the ONLY one who watches their children, lol. Lots of parents and guardians adequately, and sometimes excessively, watch their children. It sounds like there was one unsupervised child - and that does sound like a sad situation. I think you could have looked for his grandma - it might have given her the heads-up that is sounds like she needs. Or you could have taken him to the organizers, or the lost and found tent, or police - who would have done the same thing to grandma, probably with a little more authority. It's nice that you were so kind to him and helped him out.
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#8 of 13 Old 09-27-2009, 09:25 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oubliette8 View Post
If I saw an unsupervised 3 year old and could not locate his people, I'd be bringing him to whomever was in charge- the festival organizers probably in this case. its just dangerous for a child that young to be on his own like that. Maybe if grandma finds him at the lost and found tent, or the police station, she'll watch him better next time. Its one thing to lose sight of your kid in a crowded place, its another to leave a 3 year old unattended all day at a large public event. Anything could have happened to him. I'm surprised nobody else said anything.
This.

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#9 of 13 Old 09-27-2009, 09:53 AM
 
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3 years old is too young to be let walking around on his own, especially when there is a gathering like this. poor boy.

The best thing a mother can do is to love the children.
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#10 of 13 Old 09-27-2009, 09:54 AM
 
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Yes I think that some parents don't watch their children and it may also be that they assume that a younger child is emotionally ready to be left alone when it is not the case. At 9 years old, I was cooking simple meals for my mom and stepdad who worked but there are some 9 year olds that shouldn't even be left alone.

But at 3? Grandma should have been there no question.

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#11 of 13 Old 09-27-2009, 04:34 PM
 
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I would have contacted whoever was in charge. That's too long and too young to be left alone.

I wonder too if Grandma had multiple grandchildren there and was expecting the older grandkids to be watching the younger one.

One thing this does highlight however is that the world IS generally safe for kids. We've been bombarded with media images of children being snatched that we sort of expect this to be an every day occurrence.

That doesn't mean I'd leave MY 3 year old alone at an event like that (knowing my kids, they'd be glued to my side anyway). Any child who's not being looked after for SIX hours definitely needs supervision.

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#12 of 13 Old 09-27-2009, 04:57 PM
 
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hmmm. i guess i would be one of those "bad" parents. i let my kids have alot of space to run and explore, i don't hover over them, i make food and they are welcome to get it themselves. when we lived in another city and would go to our weekly hs meeting/play group the kids just played and us parents sat off to the side and let them do their thing for hours. even at the beach at our new place i am not right on top of my kids. they get all sorts of time to just be, do their own thing. who knows if gma was keeping an eye on him from a safe distance and making sure if he really needed anything she was there. i am sure it would seem that my kids were "on their own" and maybe one of you would call the cops, but i assure you i am right there keeping an eye, just not right next to them the whole time.

h

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#13 of 13 Old 09-27-2009, 05:14 PM
 
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i am one of those that probably watches their children too much... my mum was one of those that wasnt really bothered where i was or what i was doign and without going into too much detail, i suffered for it aged 8.... then i was her carer from 10-14 also looking after my younger siblings, as a result i mother my children more because i dont want them to go through any of the things i did... iyswim? if i'd seen a 3 year old unattended i would hvae told someone, if something bad had happened i would never have forgiven myself and i know that bad things can happen to children......

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