How do you judge when to be sensitive to others and when to take a lead? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 1 Old 10-01-2009, 02:41 AM - Thread Starter
learn2fly's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 17
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I decided to ask this question separate from my other thread because this is a broader question which I was interested in getting input from others on.

I have had such a positive response to this opportunity of working overseas not just from here but everyone I have either spoken with or discussed it with on other forums I have visited. The more I think about it the more enthusiastic I get and yet, despite my intentions this evening, I still have not raised it with my son. Instead of beating myself up over that I tried to think about why that was and I got introspective.

I know first and foremost in my mind is the issue that the post is in a girl's school and the idea is for him at the moment at least to spend a term attending there also while living with me in the accommodations available to staff. I haven't quite got to the point of just figuring out how to approach him on that yet, but of course what is holding me back is fear - the fear of his reaction being negative to the idea. So I have a fall back plan which is to say that I will look into boarding schools for him over in the UK too for that term. But again I have fear holding me back on that - the idea that he might feel rejected, that my career opportunity is more important to me than him and that I am just willing to pack him off somewhere out of sight out of mind. Then there is the fear that he won't be happy with leaving the US at all, his friends here and so on.

I recognize there is a lot of fear there, but I also noticed that it is all related to me wanting to keep my son happy. Of course that's normal, but as a single mom I find myself particularly sensitive to that because there seems to be so many times when I have to say no too.

But my question for others out there is where do you draw the line over being sensitive to the concerns and interests of others and instead take the lead for either your own concerns and interests or those you believe are for the greater good. A friend challenged me to be the grown up in making the decision which I found a bit unfair at the time but I know what she was trying to say. How do you judge those moments?
learn2fly is offline  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off