Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Somewhere short of crazy
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I always struggle with these kinds of threads. On the one hand I can understand the need to commiserate or find community with others who are more like-minded. I get the need to vent and the fact that it may keep you from saying something you might otherwise regret IRL. The other side of that coin though is that it can excuse a person from doing something about it.
This thread has gone on for *14 pages* (I probably only made it through three) where people have gone back and forth about how right or how wrong it is for someone to throw candy away. About the only concrete suggestion has been that those who throw the candy away shouldn't let their children go TOT. Part of me wonders why no one has put part of the responsibility back on those who take issue with it.
If you feel strongly that throwing candy away is wrong or wasteful then why don't you do something about it locally? Maybe people in your community don't know who would accept it. Maybe they've tried before and have been turned down. Maybe they didn't even know it was a possibility.
If you know of a place that will accept it (and if you don't why not find a place that will) then volunteer to start a collection. Find a business, library, school, etc that will let you put up a bin. Advertise it in your paper or get them to write an article about it. Get a local TV station/radio station to do a piece on it. Hang up signs, etc. Enable others to make better choices - let them show their children a good solution to the issue you see at hand. Pick up the bins and deliver them to the organization. I think it's a much more powerful lesson to our children...you can show them that anyone can make a difference in the world around them no matter how small it may seem (or the person doing it may seem for that matter).
If all you do is complain about it then imo it comes off more as judgment (and adds to the whole "mommy wars" thing) - you become part of the problem instead of the solution. I don't think that's all that much better than any waste you feel takes place when families just throw the candy away.
When I give a *gift* of any kind I don't feel that I have the right to dictate how it will be used or whether or not it will be kept. IMO if one feels that way one shouldn't be giving the gift (or handing out candy on Halloween - turn your light off or choose not to be home). As for our family, we don't let the kids keep everything they get TOT - they go because it's fun and because my parents get a kick out of doing it with them. They don't get a whole lot, but they will leave the vast majority of it out for the Sugar Sprite in exchange for a small gift. We don't throw that candy away (dh takes it to work) b/c I would feel badly about wasting it. However, I don't feel motivated to do anything about someone else's waste. Since I'm not willing to do anything about it then I don't think I have the right to complain about it or be offended by another family's choice of dealing with it.
Just my .02 though.