Choosing to live with not very much of anything. - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

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#151 of 155 Old 10-19-2009, 02:36 PM
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Originally Posted by darcytrue View Post
I don't see what this family is doing as bad either....but if the SAHP is home while the kids are in school then I wonder why they don't work PT or work from home. You mentioned they earned six figures in the past. That part is odd to me. If my kids were all in school I'd be terribly bored if I didn't at least work at home, which I do now and I homeschool my kids
Do we know for sure they don't work from home? The level of simplicity the OP describes could very easily be voluntary, despite a large income, rather than because of a small income.
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#152 of 155 Old 10-19-2009, 03:00 PM
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Just because the kids are in school does not mean that there is a ton of free time.

Around here schools start at crazy staggered times. With 3 kids I could see someone spending 2 hours in the morning and then again in the afternoon getting kids back and forth from school. Add after school activities and it quickly becomes a full time job!

Maybe the SAHP volunteers at the school. Maybe the SAHP is working on a novel. Maybe there is an underling medical reason to not work, you can't just look or talk to a neighbor and really know. Some of the odd behavior of the neighbor could be explained by something like this. Or maybe they hate working and love being at home and available. Not everyone has a need to be busy all of the time.

It all comes back to different choices and different lifestyles.

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#153 of 155 Old 10-19-2009, 03:22 PM
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Originally Posted by lolar2 View Post
I didn't see anyone here saying that grazing is bad. The OP was concerned because her neighbor's children are not permitted to graze. Some other people, including me, said that children can be well-fed without grazing, so the OP probably doesn't need to worry in the absence of actual neglect signs. That's all.
There were a couple of people who said that grazing is bad, they don't get why people allow it, and that it leads to obesity. It's a long thread, and not a lot of people seemed to feel that way. And like I said, there might be two different groups of people saying those two apparently contradictory things.
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#154 of 155 Old 10-19-2009, 03:28 PM
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I read *most* of the posts...

I don't believe that a simple lifestyle amounts to deprivation, but that does not mean that children see it that way. But even if the children feel or act deprived, that doesn't necessarily mean that they are. Example: I too grew up without much of anything in the way of toys, foods I found interesting, nice house, etc. My parents probably could have made more money, but it was not their driver. I felt pretty deprived and jealous all the time. I remember yelling at my mom one Christmas because my friend got new skis and I didn't and I DIDN'T EVEN SKI, lol! I also don't necessarily think it leads to the desire for a more material life in the future. I always thought I would be the opposite of my parents as an adult, but I actually wound up the same. I don't know how that happened, but I'm glad.
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#155 of 155 Old 10-19-2009, 04:12 PM
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*haven't read through the whole thread*

I recently re-read the first book in the Little house on the Prairie series and I'm reminded of how much we have and don't need! Those little girls had only a few dresses, a couple of toys (Laura only has a corn cob with clothes for the first half of the book), very little "extras" and kind of bare-bones food. But they had everything a child could ever possibly need. They had loving parents, a warm bed, room to run and explore, each other's company, and good food to grow on.

They got SUPER excited when Pa brought home fabric so Ma could make them each a new dress. They were excited to see and taste white sugar. They spent the evenings watching Pa make bullets so he could hunt the next day. They helped with the chores. They pretended to have tea parties under their favorite tree with nothing more than their dolls.

Imagine if you took Laura and Mary and stuck them in a modern American's house. Would they not go running around trying to see everything and touch everything? Would they not gobble up every bit of food they've never tried or don't get on a regular basis? Would they not ooh and aah over the 20+ outfits today's kids seem to need?

That is not neglect and certainly nothing to be ashamed of. I'm actually trying very hard to get AWAY from all of the materialistic stuff. I'm weeding out a lot of the junk toys and replacing them with books and toys that are educational and/or conducive to open-ended play. I don't have cable or internet, or even a computer (I use my mom's or DBF's when I need a little "me" time). My children are not deprived in the least, nor was I, and I was raised without many extras too.
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