On this night 18yrs ago... - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-16-2009, 10:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
whitneymum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: finding joy
Posts: 125
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
...I was in labor. I Was 18, and sort of with a boy who did not want this kicking baby inside me. I lived in a little run down duplex with a shade tree in the front dirt yard. I had been homeless during most of my pregnancy. A pregnancy plauged by a small placental abruption @ 13weeks sending me to bedrest on a friend's floor for over 2 months...of times spent in food bank lines and lying to my father for money...of calling adoption agencies and questioning what I should do. Found that old little duplex on Oct 5, signed the leaase Oct 7th and moved in and 10 days later gave birth to my son.

He was early, and small and beautiful. Nearly never cried.I knew no one, was alone just days after having him. Taking city buses with a preemie to apply for food stamps. Being spit on (literally) by rich women in stores because I was "one of those teen moms".Being told how worthless and selfish I was for keeping my son to raise. I would never be anything worthwhile. Only my dear, sweet grandmum told me how well I was doing, how prefect my boy was and how I would raise him wonderfully.

There were all those years , just he and I. Stuggling, walking to the store and carting all the groceries back in backpacks on buses in the rain, the snow and the hot sun. So many trips to hospital I stopped counting as his little lungs struggled to overcome their early entrance to the world. Holding his hand and watching his blue lips as I willed the bus to get through each light a little faster to make it to the ER. Never enough food for me..I weighed 97lbs for years and years..not for vanity..for nessecity. There was just enough money for one to eat, to have clothes and books and those precious legos every year under the Christmas tree that was always brought home on the that hateful city bus...under the glare of all the passengers as the smell of evergreen filled our noses and my boy and I sang carols until our stop under the streetlight in front of our walk up apartment. Snuggling together with a nebulizer between us in... late at night listening to the traffic and whispering fairy tales until his breathing slowed and steadied.

I asked my boy what he remembers of all our years...not how tiny our little apartment was, not the struggles or the late night bus rides that I fretted over. He remembers how fun it was to live over a cafe with cinnamon rolls so that our bedroom smelled so good saturday mornings..not the fear and worry of the phone being turned off..but the fun we had playing cars and building legos..not the lack of any family but us..but walks to the park.

Tomorrow my dear son will be a man..from that scared moment I gave birth to him to this night here in our own home, with his dad who's name he now carries (he adopted him) to his two little brothers who think the sun rises with his silliness and love to hear him play guitar(which he is now in the other room) ...here we are.

I did it.

We made it.

all the worry, all the tears..all the doubt..

He is whole, and happy and heading to college next fall. He is handsome and loving...he brings joy to so many.


I am blessed beyond measure.

My boy will be 18 @ 8:27 tomorrow morning.


every moment worth it..every single one.

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou
whitneymum is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 10-16-2009, 11:00 PM
 
Limabean1975's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,455
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
heartwrenchingly lovely. Thank you for sharing that.

DS 12/22/05 and DD 5/24/09
Limabean1975 is offline  
Old 10-16-2009, 11:04 PM
srs
 
srs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 678
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Happy Birthday to your son and to you.

DD 04/07 DS 12/09
srs is offline  
Old 10-16-2009, 11:04 PM
 
bajamergrrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 858
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wonderful! Thanks for sharing that beautiful story. Happy birthday (birth day) to you both!
bajamergrrl is offline  
Old 10-16-2009, 11:07 PM
 
Kerlowyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the Forest of North Quabbin, MA
Posts: 2,132
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank you for that.... it was beautiful....

Happy Birthday to your son, and your birth as a mother...!

Kristina; wife to Max, Mom to Tristan (17) and Zackariah (7) and Lillian (5)
Kerlowyn is offline  
Old 10-16-2009, 11:09 PM
 
maritimemum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: New Brunswick, Canada
Posts: 80
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
thank you so so much for sharing. amazingly beautiful.. you did it mama Happy birthday to your son!

A. Adoring my hubby, homeschooling our two beautiful lil vegetarian kiddos, snuggling our newest addition born in Nov'09 (attempted UC turned transfer at 36 weeks with PPROM) and missing our baby who we didn't get to hold in our arms
maritimemum is offline  
Old 10-16-2009, 11:09 PM
 
Everrgreen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,806
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That brought tears to my eyes - thank you for sharing your story. Happy Birthday to your boy!!

Mama to my charming little boy, born at home January '09
Everrgreen is offline  
Old 10-16-2009, 11:13 PM
 
Shanelovr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Beautiful Oregon
Posts: 99
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
that was amazing. your ds is so lucky to have been born to such a wonderful momma. i hope i can do such wonderful things for my lo, congrats on your boys birthday.

Adrianna joined to DH 03/08 blessed vegan mama to Nehemiah 06/04/09 hoping for an HBAC our next time around.
Shanelovr is offline  
Old 10-16-2009, 11:14 PM
 
Ambystoma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: The Bayou
Posts: 713
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That was a beautiful story-thank you for sharing it.

Kara: on a journey with DH, Mama to DS 2/2010
Ambystoma is offline  
Old 10-16-2009, 11:16 PM
 
tracymom1's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,441
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
How amazing and inspiring! Thank you for sharing.

hh2.gif Proud Mama to DS1 09/07 ribboncesarean.gif, DD 07/09 hbac.gif, and DS2 06/11 uc.jpg.  Feeling more and more blessed with each day!

 

 
 
 
  

tracymom1 is offline  
Old 10-16-2009, 11:19 PM
 
just_lily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,153
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Tears not only to my eyes, but down my cheeks as well. What a strong mama you are. Your son is blessed to have you. Congratulations!

Wife to DH (06/10) and Mummy to DD (07/08).

just_lily is offline  
Old 10-16-2009, 11:21 PM
 
treehugginhippie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 2,004
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank you so much for sharing

Tina - mama to DD1 10.75yrs, DD2 6yrs, DD3 2.5 yrs & baby due in June 2015 and wifey to DH.
treehugginhippie is online now  
Old 10-16-2009, 11:22 PM
 
ShadowMoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 1,390
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That was beautiful and you are an amazing mamma! Thank you so much for sharing your story!

S~ Peace loving, natural living, FuNkY vegan mama to Keiran bouncy.gif 23/Dec/06:
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" ~~ MLK
ShadowMoon is offline  
Old 10-16-2009, 11:25 PM
 
PoppyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In my own delusions.
Posts: 3,126
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Congratulations. I'm sure your boy is as sweet as that story.
PoppyMama is offline  
Old 10-16-2009, 11:28 PM
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 444
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That was beautiful. Happy Birthday.

.
Karamom is offline  
Old 10-17-2009, 12:12 AM
 
Vermillion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,940
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Totally choking up over here

Happy birthday to your son and to you, mama!


Liz om.gif Lovin' DH partners.gif DS (12) coolshine.gif and forever missing DD angel3.gif (12/02/07) ribbonpb.gif
From the withered tree, a flower blooms~ He's here!!! So crazy in love with my  rainbow1284.gif  boy!!! 12/14/11 luxlove.gif fly-by-nursing1.gif

Vermillion is offline  
Old 10-17-2009, 12:13 AM
 
bebebradford's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 267
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
WOW this gave me goosebumps. Bless you both.
bebebradford is offline  
Old 10-17-2009, 12:25 AM
 
becoming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 11,592
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What an amazing history you two have, mama. Happy birthday to him, happy mama day to you, and may you both celebrate many more years as mother & son.
becoming is offline  
Old 10-17-2009, 12:29 AM
 
XanaduMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: SE PDX
Posts: 2,826
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Your post made me cry. A lot. You are such an inspiration, and your son is lucky to have you. Sounds like he knows that.

read.gifSarah ~ wild.gifds X 12/05 ~ flower.gifdd E 3/08 h20homebirth.gif  ~  stork-suprise.gif 7/12 dizzy.gif

XanaduMama is offline  
Old 10-17-2009, 12:33 AM
 
Murph12334's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,193
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
wow mama, you have me in tears over here!

congratulations on doing such a wonderful job with him.

Such a great story that you two share. Fro what he says he remembers of those times, you can tell how great of a job you did!

: Mother (4/11/06) to Josephine and (4/23/09) to Oliver and baby (due June 1st)

Babies: Angel (6/29/02), Tiberius (3/8/11), Lillianna (12/27/11)

Murph12334 is offline  
Old 10-17-2009, 12:34 AM
 
SimplyRochelle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Northwest Arkansas
Posts: 1,616
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Made me teary. Congratulations and happy days to you both!!! You are a very talented writer.

Rochelle  chartnew.gifff: /home/simplyrochelle  Wife to Matt; angel1.gif 9/08; angel1.gif 11/12;angel1.gif 6/13;

Every day brings me closer to fulfilling my dreams of becoming a midwife and a mother  

SimplyRochelle is offline  
Old 10-17-2009, 12:39 AM
 
Dandelionkid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,605
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow- that was amazing, thanks so much for sharing!!!
Dandelionkid is offline  
Old 10-17-2009, 12:41 AM
 
Chloe'sMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Fresno
Posts: 3,138
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Beautiful, brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing.

Happy Birthday to your son.

SAHM to Chloe«- 6/2008 (10 lbs, 5 oz), Hannah- 9/2010 (9 lbs, 12 oz), Liam- 2/2013 (9 lbs, 6 oz)

Chloe'sMama is offline  
Old 10-17-2009, 12:43 AM
 
KristyDi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: The 'burbs of Atlanta
Posts: 2,681
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Good job Mama. Happy Birthday to your son.

Kristy, wife to Josh proud mama to Katie: since 3/08 and Emma since 8/12.

KristyDi is offline  
Old 10-17-2009, 12:55 AM
 
Tjej's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: a beautiful place
Posts: 1,563
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Happy Birth-day! Thank you for sharing.

Tjej
Tjej is offline  
Old 10-17-2009, 01:03 AM
 
goodygumdrops's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,783
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Congrads to you. You did an amazing job Enjoy tomorrow.

"Breastfeeding is a robust, biologically stable activity so central to our evolutionary identity that it names the class of animals to which we belong" (Breastfeeding Atlas, Third Edition)
goodygumdrops is offline  
Old 10-17-2009, 01:09 AM
 
FnkyGreenMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: SW Ontario
Posts: 108
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What a beautiful story. I work with teen moms and I am always in awe at the strength that they display through their struggles, and at the way that motherhood transforms them. Thanks for sharing.

Lisa treehugger.gif married to DH bikenew.gifsince Aug 07 & mom to DS1 blahblah.gif  born May 08 and DS2 babyboy.gif born Nov 10 homebirth.jpg
FnkyGreenMama is offline  
Old 10-17-2009, 01:14 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: On a pilgrimage to Canterbury
Posts: 2,567
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That was beautiful, and beautifully written. Happy birthday to your son, and to you.
InMediasRes is offline  
Old 10-17-2009, 01:20 AM
 
mamaveggie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WI
Posts: 1,119
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Beautiful! Happy birthday.

:,,:, to my three veggie ladies 12/09/05, : 10/03/07 & 07/10/09 hanging on for dear life to :
mamaveggie is offline  
Old 10-17-2009, 01:37 AM
 
CariMara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What a beautiful story, it brought many tears to my eyes. Your son is very blessed to have you as a mother, and you're very blessed to have him as a son! Thank you for sharing, I'll be thinking of you both tomorrow. Happy Birth Day!!
CariMara is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off