Not spending Holloween with your LOs? - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-01-2009, 09:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Does anyone else find this odd? I know of quite a few ppl this year that chose to let their LOs grandparents take them out TOT and they went out to parties. I just find it odd. I LOVE spending time with my dd and i love to be there with her to experience things, especially special holidays like this.

Im sure once my dd is older and want to spend Halloween with her friends or at her own parties that will take full advantage of that time, but now that she is still so young i could not imagine not being there with her to have those memories.

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Old 11-01-2009, 10:39 PM
 
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Totally with you on that one. I think it's kind of strange. My DD will only be a little kid once. The way I see it, I had 32 years to party before I had her, and eventually I'll be going to parties and wishing she was little again.

But, I've tried to stop being surprised by decisions other parents make!

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Old 11-01-2009, 10:49 PM
 
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If I had grandparents willing and sturdy enough to do it I would have loved to have gone to the 2 adult parties my friends threw. My friends really get into costumes and building stuff. They both had themes. I'm totally jealous of the pictures I saw. I REALLY needed to get out and just kick back. I thought I could actually get out this year, but DH had to be out of town. I'll have a baby again next year and I know I'll be really tired. As it was I stayed home and handed out candy while 6 yo went with the neighbors.

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Old 11-02-2009, 01:18 AM
 
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no i dont. as pp said for similar reasons.

in fact this year for the first time dd went TOT with her bf and i could have hung out at their place but instead i went to a haunted house with some of my friends.

however this was our 7th halloween and i am kinda getting tired of it. its kinda boring for me to walk behind - in costume or not - and make sure she is ok.

however dd this year had a BLAST. she has never gotten as much candy as seh did this year.

i remember doing costumes teh first two years but didnt go ToT till dd was 3.

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Old 11-02-2009, 01:56 AM
 
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DD (7) requested that we let grandpa take her ToTing this year in his new neighborhood (they moved Oct.1.) We let her, but she wound up getting sick (fever) and grandma brought her home last night. We didn't go out to any parties or have any other plans, but I couldn't justify not honoring her request to spend time with grandpa. Dh and I took her to a community Halloween party Friday night, so we got some Halloween time with her ourselves, and shared her with the ILs last night. I would have rather taken her ToTing myself, but I'm glad she has such a close, loving relationship with her grandparents.

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Old 11-02-2009, 01:45 PM
 
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Some people don't think Halloween is that big of a holiday. The past two years, my DH has gone on a fishing trip over Halloween weekend, and it was no big deal to me.

I do think it's fun to be with the kids while they trick-or-treat because it's so cute, but I also don't think it's a big deal if other parents choose to miss it. I would never be apart from my kids on Thanksgiving, Christmas, or their birthdays, but other than that DH and I don't really think it's a big deal if one of us is away.

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Old 11-02-2009, 02:22 PM
 
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Honestly I love the fact that my IL's want to spend this time with my lo's...I have taken the kids tot in the past and enjoyed it ..But they also want to spend time with grandma and grandpa and thats fine ...I don't need to experience every Halloween
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:24 PM
 
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I did not take my kids out last year for Halloween myself (my DH did) because I had to work! Yes, I could of asked for the night off but my feeling is everyone has to work some of the crappy days. For the record, everyone on my shift has young kids. I did take them to the zoo to trick or treat the weekend before Halloween.
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:26 PM
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We left DD with grandma this year! But...DD is only 5 months old and we only left her for about 4 hours. Next year we will not be doing that!
I can't wait to trick or treat with her! And mostly scarf all her candy because we will only let her have a few pieces if any at that age!
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:38 PM
 
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my mil was kind enough to take the kids out tot this year for us. i had to work and dh was in class. i was kind of bummed since it was ds's 1st halloween, but i honestly couldn't see burning up vacation time when i'm just barely starting to build it back up after being out on maternity leave. i figure that next year it'll be on a sunday (i think) and i'll be able to go then.
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:59 PM
 
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I think everyone has different definitions of quality time together.

For me, parents-stay birthday parties at bouncy places, Chucks, etc. are the ninth circle of hell. (It's made worse because I'm the stepmother and some people think it's weird that a stepmother would take a kid to a party.) But many people love the opportunity to watch their kids bounce and play and talk to the other moms. Me? If the party is during "our time" and my husband can go, he goes. (These are becoming rarer as SD gets older and drop-offs are more common.)

I personally love taking kids trick-or-treating. We've taken my SD and a friend for four years running.

But I can see where other parents find it tedious and are grateful for the opportunity to delegate that responsibility. (And I know more than one person--my SD's mom is one--that has such bad associations with trick-or-treating that she just won't go, period.)

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Old 11-02-2009, 03:17 PM
 
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No, I wouldn't give it up for anything.
At one point during the night, my six-year-old was happily skipping along dressed as Annie. She was just aglow. Really, she just beamed. I had the baby asleep, dressed as Sandy, in the Ergo so tiny on my back that people kept saying, "Oh! There's a real baby in there!"
My dh, dressed as Daddy Warbucks, was pushing the stroller--to carry the diaper bag of course!--and I just thought, "It doesn't really get better than this."
I love having really little kids.
We passed some friends with 12-turning-13-years-old-this-year and I remember so vividly when they were six-year-old little girls. Time flies and I feel like if I blink I'll miss it.
I'll like big kids and teenagers too, I'm sure. But right now, that seems a million years away and this is pretty great.

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Old 11-02-2009, 04:10 PM
 
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I don't think it's weird. I could go both ways on this one.

ToT is not fun, the kids love it but I wouldn't have said no to G & G taking the kids so I could go do something or have some time to myself.

I hate leaving my kids, mostly bc I don't want them to be sad w/out me, but if they are having fun and don't miss me at all then that's great. Guilt free me time.

I think it's okay to say, "Huh....I couldn't do that [insert different parenting choice] but more power to you if you can" (I am obviously talking about general things, not damaging or abusive choices).

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Old 11-02-2009, 04:26 PM
 
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I don't get it, but to each their own I suppose...I don't get a lot of stuff that people do (like choose to drink coke and drive Hummers) but it's not harming the kids. They still get to ToT, they probably have fun with Grandma/auntie/whoever...not a choice I'd make but whatever.

I'm still 'mourning' the loss of my son's first Beggars Night. I was laid up in the hospital having just given birth to DD less than 24 hours prior. His grandma took him, and he had a blast but I really really really don't like that I missed his FIRST beggars night. It sort of breaks my heart even to this day. Even though it wasn't a CHOICE (DD was born a couple days early, I had every intention of taking him, and we'd talked it up so it's not like we could have just skipped it, he'd have known and been upset) it's not like I could have taken him having just given birth 19 hour prior but it still sucked.

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Old 11-02-2009, 04:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2mygirl View Post
No, I wouldn't give it up for anything.
At one point during the night, my six-year-old was happily skipping along dressed as Annie. She was just aglow. Really, she just beamed. I had the baby asleep, dressed as Sandy, in the Ergo so tiny on my back that people kept saying, "Oh! There's a real baby in there!"
My dh, dressed as Daddy Warbucks, was pushing the stroller--to carry the diaper bag of course!--and I just thought, "It doesn't really get better than this."
I love having really little kids.
We passed some friends with 12-turning-13-years-old-this-year and I remember so vividly when they were six-year-old little girls. Time flies and I feel like if I blink I'll miss it.
I'll like big kids and teenagers too, I'm sure. But right now, that seems a million years away and this is pretty great.


This was how I felt as well. I so enjoyed watching my son and his friends have so much fun. They were so excited and so happy. I loved being a part of their joy. If for some reason I couldn't go out ToT with my son, I would really appreciate having grandparents who would step in and do it, though.
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Old 11-02-2009, 04:46 PM
 
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I enjoy making the kids their costumes and their pleasure in them. But for actually ToT-ing, I could care less. The whole concept bugs me a bit and I would gladly skip the entire holiday if my kids wouldn't be heartbroken by that. So no, there is nothing special in this for me -- I do it because the kids want to. This year DH and I needed to be at a strategic planning weekend retreat thing, so we left the kids with friends and it didn't bother me a bit.

Now, I will note that my kids are older (6 and 10) and that I am not the sentimental type. It didn't bother me that my son took his first steps for my mother and not me, or that my daughter took hers at daycare either. So maybe I'm just some sort of un-natural freak mommy or something.
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Old 11-02-2009, 06:00 PM
 
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I definitely would have. We were at a party at my neighbor's and I had to leave to go T or T with my 5 yo. Sure, it's kind of cute to see him dressed up but I was also having fun at the party and didn't want to leave.

I'll admit I'm not a very sentimental person though. My older two are 9 and 11 and I have a few memories of them T or T but it's not a big deal to me.
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Old 11-02-2009, 06:08 PM
 
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I sure wouldn't want to skip Halloween -- decorating, carving pumpkins, admiring her costume, reading Halloween books -- but a little ToT'ing goes a long way with me. I took DD this year, because DH wanted to stay home and watch the World Series, but years past I've been THRILLED to let him take her while I stay home, handing out candy and watching old horror movies. Then I admire her haul and hear all about it -- works for me!
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