mouth "washed out" with soap? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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Parenting > mouth "washed out" with soap?
Annabel's Avatar Annabel 10:18 PM 02-14-2004
It never happened to me, but when I was 7 my teacher did it to a boy in my class. It was horrible, she made the entire class watch.

Plaid Leopard's Avatar Plaid Leopard 10:27 PM 02-14-2004
This never happened to me but I remember seeing the teachers doing it to other kids at my Montessori preschool.

My parents poured a pitcherfull of cold water on my face when I was lying on the floor throwing a tantrum. Not as bad as soap, I'm sure, but still... I just can't imagine doing that to my children. I can still see them looming over me and remember the shock of the cold water hitting my face. UGh.
Mom4tot's Avatar Mom4tot 11:10 PM 02-14-2004
Quote:
Originally posted by artemesia
For most of my childhood my Grandma watched us and while I don't remember having it done, it was an explicit threat. We were told that saying bad words would get us the "brown soap", an ancient bar of soap that was kept under the laundry sink in the basement. We rarely misbehaved for our grandmother though, it just didn't seem like an option.
I don't remember it ever being done to me, but I remember this threat of the ancient bar of soap coming from my mother. She may have done it to my siblings tho. It is just awful. So humiliating. I can't even imagine it being done at school by a teacher. Yikes.
ComaWhite's Avatar ComaWhite 11:41 PM 02-14-2004
Quote:
She would litterally take a bar of soap and rub it into our teeth all over out mouths and sit there for a bit to make sure we didn't spit it out...we learned early on how to not swallow and as soon as she left we'd spit and brush.
We got it with pumice soap.
Irishmommy's Avatar Irishmommy 01:08 AM 02-15-2004
Moving this to Parenting Issues...
Zanymom's Avatar Zanymom 01:16 AM 02-15-2004
I am 24. I was 5 or so I think. I don't remember what I said. But I do remember my mom lathering up the bar of soap and sticking it in my mouth. Then she set a timer and I had to sit there One time she got a tooth brush and scrub the bar of soap and then my mouth. Yuck yuck yuck!

I would never dream of doing that to my kids.
Susana's Avatar Susana 01:26 AM 02-15-2004
I was 7 years old, and I asked my mom what the f word meant. I actually said the word when asking. Next thing I remember was my mom holding me down on the bathroom floor and putting a bar of white soap in my mouth, complete with the scraping of the teeth.
I didn't know what I did wrong either, I just remember being scared and bewildered.

Never in a bazillion years would I degrade or hurt my children like that.

I cuss like a sailor now...yep, in front of my mom. No f word though!
Plady's Avatar Plady 01:29 AM 02-15-2004
Quote:
but man.. you cant say you would definetly never do this??? thats just disturbing
Hey Nikki Christina,

I don't think I deserve the attitude for admitting to having a thought. Like I said before, I'm sorry so many people had such violent experiences with this. Based on my own experience I don't think it is necessarily always so abusive. I also didn't say I thought it was a good idea.
Having thought police like you on the boards could really inhibit the level of honesty in the posts, and where would that get anyone?
Kylix's Avatar Kylix 01:42 AM 02-15-2004
Never had this done to me. Nor was it done to my siblings although my sister was threatened once to be popped in the mouth for back talk.

I find that to be more common.

Kylix
mamacrab's Avatar mamacrab 01:45 AM 02-15-2004
Oh my goodness, this thread is just so sad and disturbing!!!

Big hugs to all you mamas who experienced this. No one should ever be treated that way, and especially not by their parents! I'm nearly in tears reading about these memories.

And even bigger hugs for treating your own kids with the respect and gentleness that every child deserves! (especially when that same kindness was not extended to you)


Lucysmama's Avatar Lucysmama 01:49 AM 02-15-2004
Quote:
Originally posted by Plady
Hey Nikki Christina,

I don't think I deserve the attitude for admitting to having a thought. Like I said before, I'm sorry so many people had such violent experiences with this. Based on my own experience I don't think it is necessarily always so abusive. I also didn't say I thought it was a good idea.
Having thought police like you on the boards could really inhibit the level of honesty in the posts, and where would that get anyone?
Penelope-

With all due respect - conversely, it is Nikki Christina's right to react negatively to YOUR post, too....she was just being honest, like you were. Calling her the "thought police" is very disrespectful of her opinions.

JMO.
TiredX2's Avatar TiredX2 01:59 AM 02-15-2004
Quote:
I had my mouth washed out with soap once and that was by a friends mom. My friend got mad at me, bit her arm and then went and told her mother that I bit her. We were only 3 and 4 at the time. He mom refused to listen to me when I said I did not do it, and gave me the choice between appologising and having my mouth washed out. I of course said I didn't do it, and I was not going to say sorry for something I did not do.
*That* would be my little sister. She constantly bit herself and then got me in trouble for it (I was "the liar" . Anyway, I finally went into my bedroom and tried to knock my teeth out on the edge of my desk. Didn't work so I got a hammer. Between the desk and the hammer I got my two front teeth out (no idea how old I was, but obviously young enough to still have only baby teeth). The next time my sister did that, I bit myself on the arm and showed my parents how the bite marks looked different. So *that* ended :

I definatley had my mouth washed out with soap. As did my siblings (ages 24-43). As have some of my nieces & nephews. I never would, but honestly compared to the screwed up parenting practices out there this doesn't even register on my radar.
Nikki Christina's Avatar Nikki Christina 03:47 AM 02-15-2004
Quote:
Originally posted by Plady
Hey Nikki Christina,

I don't think I deserve the attitude for admitting to having a thought. Like I said before, I'm sorry so many people had such violent experiences with this. Based on my own experience I don't think it is necessarily always so abusive. I also didn't say I thought it was a good idea.
Having thought police like you on the boards could really inhibit the level of honesty in the posts, and where would that get anyone?
you didnt say it was a bad idea either.. just one you had considered.. but *doubt* you will have to use :
& yuppers I think its abuse & think its disturbing someone would consider doing it

did you forget what board you are on??
Shann's Avatar Shann 04:25 AM 02-15-2004
I got my mouth washed out with soap many times for "cussing," which I never understood cause both my parents swore heavily, and right in front of me. I made up my mind that I would never do that to my kids ! So now my boys both "cuss" once in awhile in front of me and do not get punished. I would much rather just teach them when its ok to use language like that and when its "improper" (they actually seem to already know that...they cuss at home but not at school/ day care/ grandparents house, etc.). I figure they'll end up swearing someday anyway, so why worry too much ? I think this is much better than abusing a kid with soap in the mouth.
TiredX2's Avatar TiredX2 04:04 PM 02-15-2004
I asked DH if he had had his mouth washed out with soap (he was spanked maybe once and his parents were pretty GD). He said twice. But that his mom waited until he was too old--- both times he took a *BITE* of the soap and chewed it up and swallowed while staring her in the eyes. She gave up after that. :LOL
Piglet68's Avatar Piglet68 11:19 PM 02-15-2004
Just posting to remind everybody that attacking members in your posts is against the rules...

If anybody has any problems with a post, please bring it to my attention rather than post to the thread about it.

thanks!
Friendlymama's Avatar Friendlymama 01:26 AM 02-16-2004
My grandma did this to me once. I remember it was bar soap.

Poor grandma- she had her share of problems and wasn't perfect by any measure, but other than the "soap episode" she was fantastic to me.
Jane's Avatar Jane 02:08 AM 02-16-2004
I never had my mouth washed out with soap. I asked my husband, too, since he was subjected to lots of strange, humiliating child-rearing practices from his step-mom, but she missed that one. So, nope for us.
I remember it coming up several times from adults, but my mother somehow communicated to me that that was never going to happen to me.

I *think* it could probably be used in a humiliating OR a non-humiliating way, just like spanking or time-out or grounding or CIO or anything. But I wouldn't have it in my arsenal, 'cause I don't need it. Attitude is more important than technique.
samsara's Avatar samsara 02:34 AM 02-16-2004
funny the things that move me out of lurkdom to post here...

...a couple of years ago, my sister tells me about my nephew, 5 at the time, working on his homework in the dining room with his siblings; she peeks around the corner in time to hear him say, "damn! how do you make a three?" she says, "so i yanked him out of his chair, dragged him into the bathroom by his arm, took a couple of pumps of that antibacterial handsoap and shoved it in his mouth! he was gagging and crying and he threw up -- he'll never say that again!" she was actually laughing while telling me this story, it was so horrible; i told her i thought it was abusive and she was mortified, claiming that, "when you have kids, you'll see."

it was never done to me, but i felt really bad for my nephew. and what do you know? now that i have a child, i can honestly say that i will never do it to him.
pilesoflaundry's Avatar pilesoflaundry 08:34 PM 02-16-2004
It was not done to me or my siblings. My mom had it done to her though. And I will not ever do it to my kids.

My son willing eats soap!! We have to hide glycerin soap or bubbles because he likes the taste :Puke, I caught him tasting it in the bathroom once. It actually concerns me a bit...

s to anyone that had that done as a child, how awful .
mamaofthree's Avatar mamaofthree 09:06 PM 02-16-2004
I had this done to me also. Maybe 6 or 7 times. Once for sticking my tongue out at a friend while we where playing and she did it to me too. My mother thought I had done it to her. (Go figure??) Anyway, she never let me explain, so there you go.
It was always racked across my teeth so it stuck in them and took forever to get out. Then I was spanked and sent to my room. Real nice parenting technique!

I have a "friend" (not really close to her now) how use to use tobassco and soap in her dds mouth if she got "sassy". My niece also uses pepper or some kind of hot sauce in her 3 dd's mouths if they "talk back". It makes me sick to even think about it.

I wouldn't do it to my kids. Besides it being just palin mean IT'S GROSS!


H
aguacates's Avatar aguacates 12:52 AM 02-17-2004
My grandma did this to me when I was about five. I can't remember what I did, just the taste of soap...

It's funny, I remember flipping my dad off at the dinner table (I rode the bus with highschoolers in kindegarten) and he asked me what I thought it meant. I honestly had no idea, and he told me it meant 'intercourse' I still had no idea what it meant, but was mortified, and probably didn't flip anyone off again.

And whatever I said to my grandma that made her wash my mouth out, I'm sure I've said it since.
Glitterbeam's Avatar Glitterbeam 08:01 AM 02-17-2004
Quote:
Originally posted by andrea88
My father did the same, but used the pumice soap.
When I read that my hand flew up automatically to protect my mouth.

I never had it done to me... I just got spanked. : I saw it done to my cousin though and it looked awful. I would never ever do anything like that to my child.
Glitterbeam's Avatar Glitterbeam 08:07 AM 02-17-2004
Quote:
Originally posted by TiredX2
Anyway, I finally went into my bedroom and tried to knock my teeth out on the edge of my desk. Didn't work so I got a hammer. Between the desk and the hammer I got my two front teeth out (no idea how old I was, but obviously young enough to still have only baby teeth). The next time my sister did that, I bit myself on the arm and showed my parents how the bite marks looked different. So *that* ended :
Oh my God, that is so horrible. I don't know how you did that but I could just cry thinking of the desperation that could drive a child to cause themselves that much pain.


kimberlylibby's Avatar kimberlylibby 11:46 AM 02-17-2004
I had my mouth washed out and I found it truly revolting.

My sister does it with her oldest son (3 1/2) and it KILLS me.

she does it it he gets out of bed at night.... is that even a RELATED punishment?? I don't htink so!!!
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