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#1 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 03:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is spured by an Activist thread. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...hreadid=115687

I'm wondering how many of us had this done to us as children.

I did. I have talked about it a few times.
I discussed it today with a friend and my DH. They were both mortified. I time travelled back to those days, and remembered the taste... how hard- impossible- it was to get the taste out of my mouth.

yuch.

So is this still going on? Did it happen to you?
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#2 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 03:21 PM
 
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Me, too. This happened to me several times a week when I was probably 7-11 years old- the soap bar crammed in my mouth. Once my mother was in a hot rage at me and pried mouth open and squirted the dish detergent in there until I threw up.

It was standard proceedure in child rearing back then, I guess I would never ever consider this- it means nothing for discipline. It made no sense to me at the time and I still am traumatized.

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#3 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 03:27 PM
 
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Yuck, I had it done several times...it was awful.

My mom also once brushed my teeth with SoftScrub with Bleach because I forgot to brush my teeth for 2 days. She was a little nuts, though.

She was a big fan of washing mouths out with soap... I think it is so wrong and humiliating for a child.
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#4 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 03:28 PM
 
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Well I am 41 and my oldest sibling is 52. We never had our mouths washed out with soup, I don't even think it was threatened as don't remeber even hearding the phrase. So I don't think it was a it was standard procedure in child rearing back then. I think the first time I heard the expression was back in the 80's when a Christmas story came out.

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#5 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 03:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i just added the activist thread link to my OP.

is that ok or am i going to get in trouble with the mods?

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#6 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 03:29 PM
 
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I had my mouth washed out with soap once and that was by a friends mom. My friend got mad at me, bit her arm and then went and told her mother that I bit her. We were only 3 and 4 at the time. He mom refused to listen to me when I said I did not do it, and gave me the choice between appologising and having my mouth washed out. I of course said I didn't do it, and I was not going to say sorry for something I did not do.

So, she washed my mouth out wiht soap. To this day my mom thinks it is funny and that I deserved it. One of her fave stories :

MM
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#7 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 03:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by HollyBearsMom
Well I am 41 and my oldest sibling is 52. We never had our mouths washed out with soup, I don't even think it was threatened as don't remeber even hearding the phrase. So I don't think it was a it was standard procedure in child rearing back then. I think the first time I heard the expression was back in the 80's when a Christmas story came out.
FWIW
my mom, who is in her 60's, had this done to her.
i am 33.
i'm not so sure this is a generational thing...
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#8 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 03:46 PM
 
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Hi Mona,

The memory of watching my brother get this punishment from my mom, is so sad for me (this was about 40 years ago). *I* was the one who told on him, and she must have been overly frustrated already or mad or something. She put liquid soap in his mouth and he struggled with getting it out (coughing, gagging, crying) for about 1/2 hour. I remember being so scared, and my mother looked terrified as she helped him in the bathroom. After that, I wondered what soap was like to taste, and I actually tasted it a week or so later -- just a drop. It was terrible tasting and again, I couldn't image how it felt to my brother.

I've done a lot of parenting advise volunteering at other parenting sites, for the last 7 years. Unfortunately, this mode of punishment STILL comes up in questions and conversations today. Lots of parents still believe this is non-harmful to do to kids, they WANT to do something distasteful and uncomfortable to them to punish them for "cussing" and "back-talk".

Here are some links I recently found on the topic... even the "Disney" site warns of risks/harms. I have a friend in the medical field who talks of seeing a boy come in to the ER with breathing difficulties due to soap in the mouth, also I know a woman who herself went to the hospital due to an allergic reaction to soap in the mouth. She doesn't remember too much of the incident (the actual punishment and swelling), but she does remember being in the hospital, getting all that attention and her mother being devastated -- and never doing that again!

http://familyfun.go.com/raisingkids/...9enc_prof.html

http://familyfun.go.com/raisingkids/...swearing2.html

From ivillage --

http://www.parentsplace.com/toddlers...105905,00.html

And here's an article that I thought was interesting because it discussed kids being stoic during this punishment (which the kid actors are in the commercial)....

http://www.familyeducation.com/exper...-17066,00.html

Plus, here's a health link...

http://www.healthcentral.com/peds/top/002739.cfm

I'm not sure of the rules here about providing links to articles, I hope this is OK.

mm
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#9 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 04:39 PM
 
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My parents NEVER did this, or even threatened or alluded to it.
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#10 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 04:51 PM
 
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Soap, hot sauce, yup. Absolutly a terrible way to "teach a lesson". I'd never do it. My parents did a great job of teaching me how not to parent.
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#11 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 04:55 PM
 
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For most of my childhood my Grandma watched us and while I don't remember having it done, it was an explicit threat. We were told that saying bad words would get us the "brown soap", an ancient bar of soap that was kept under the laundry sink in the basement. We rarely misbehaved for our grandmother though, it just didn't seem like an option.
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#12 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 04:59 PM
 
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My mother did it to me once for spitting at my little sister. I was probably 4 or 5. I threw up, so she never tried it again. :LOL
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#13 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 05:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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'thanks for all the replies and info
I have to admit, this did not happen to me very often, so it was painful to read some of the accounts where it happened regularly.

This has been helpful for me to deal with some issues that i had buried. Such an act dampens the spirit of a child, IMO. It is very sad. And it makes me mad.
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#14 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 05:05 PM
 
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Hi I'm alegria and my mouth was washed out with soap for talking in bed when the lights were out.
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#15 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 05:16 PM
 
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I'm in my 30's and all my siblings and I had our mouths washed out with soap OFTEN...it's very difficult to this day and I have to really think about it, to form the word "ain't", but I do say curse words including "darn" I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER (did i get my point across) use that as a form of discipline. A few years back, a child sufficated to death when her mother used dish soap to wash her mouth out. I find it amaizing I lived past my childhood. OH, btw glycerine soap was tollerable, darnit though it wasn't used as much. She would litterally take a bar of soap and rub it into our teeth all over out mouths and sit there for a bit to make sure we didn't spit it out...we learned early on how to not swallow and as soon as she left we'd spit and brush.

Ahhh tea the essence of life.
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#16 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 05:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by mama_kass
My parents did a great job of teaching me how not to parent.
nod yeah mine did and awsome job of that one as well.

Ahhh tea the essence of life.
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#17 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 05:33 PM
 
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I remember having my mouth washed out with soap. I still feel angry and helpless whenever I think about.
Both my mom and my sisters used to punish me with it. Was worse coming from my sisters. Yuck!
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#18 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 05:44 PM
 
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I am 28 and my mouth was washed with soap on several occasions as a child--one time I lied and told my mother I had not watched Jaws on TV when I had. Another time was for saying "Jesus Christ" when I was mad. All under the age of 7--then I got taken away from her! Not for soap washing, though!
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#19 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 05:52 PM
 
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I remember my mom washing my mouth out with soap at least once and with white vineagar (not really "washing" but I guess she was making some correlation to nasty words=nasty taste).

I sympathize with all of you who found this abusive but I didn't think it was so awful. I think I probably had to lick a bar of Ivory and then got to rinse it out with plenty of water.

It may have not been such a big deal because
a) it only happened once
b) my mom was not especially angry when she did it so it didn't seem like the world's scariest moment
c) my mom used to always talk about how she loved to lick Ivory soap while she was pregnant

I admit I have occaisionally thought about it and whether or not I'd ever employ it as a means to discourage bad language. I kind of doubt it will ever come to that. I remember developing an incredibly crass vocabulary as soon as I thought I was old enough (10 years old I think) and to this day I have to try to check my f-words around dd. I think instead I'll try to be a little less prissy than my mom was about it and just try to teach her manners by having them myself.

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#20 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 06:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Plady
I sympathize with all of you who found this abusive but I didn't think it was so awful. I think I probably had to lick a bar of Ivory and then got to rinse it out with plenty of water.

eh well.. Id imagine theres a huge difference from being made to lick a bar & having liguid soap squirted in your mouth or a bar ground in your teeth..

not that I would know about either.. my mom was never crazy enough to make me do either..

but man.. you cant say you would definetly never do this??? thats just disturbing

soap was made to wash bodies .. not to punish children
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#21 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 06:17 PM
 
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Yep, me too. It was my (wicked?) stepmother. I don't recall specifically how many times, but I do distinctly recall one time when I was barely 5 years old--she scraped it on my teeth and wouldn't give me a drink. she had other forms of humiliation she liked to use as well.

Now that I have kids, I can't imagine EVER doing it! WTF???

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#22 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 06:20 PM
 
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and I did this one time to my ds-I wish I had known so many things when I had him that I learned about when I had dd and ds#2.
That there were other things beside Ferber,cio, etc etc.. I did it at one time but thank the Goddess I learned better not too long after that...
one of our old peds even advocated this as a proper punishment
Now when other parents ask me should I do this guess what I say..
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#23 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 07:31 PM
 
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I had this done to me by a day care when I was 4! I still remember that horrible taste. If fact all of the horrible punishments I experienced were in day cares. My sweet momma was a single mom and was so good to us - it broke her heart to have to send us to day care. I guess that's why I never leave my child in anyone else's care (besides dh and my mom). Oh the horrible memories!

(I am talking day care chains that popped up in the early 1970s - not home day cares).
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#24 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 07:55 PM
 
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Not me. But, I had a neighbor the other day telling me how annoyed she was that it was against the law now to put soap or hotsauce in your kids mouths. Her son is 3!!!!! :
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#25 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 07:56 PM
 
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Oh. And she wants to do this because her son calls her an idiot and stupid. Sounds like she is to me!!! lol!
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#26 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 08:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by TinyBabyBean
Oh. And she wants to do this because her son calls her an idiot and stupid.
He probalby only calls her that because she calls him that, KWIM?? And people wonder why thier kids say such things!

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#27 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 08:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by mamaroni
He probalby only calls her that because she calls him that, KWIM?? And people wonder why thier kids say such things!
Oh I am sure she is from the way it sounds. Or that he is hearing her or DH say that to each other. Either way he learned it from them I am sure. So sad.
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#28 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 08:19 PM
 
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My stepfather put it in my mouth when I was 3. He never even warned me that the "f" word was bad, just made me eat soap. That was how I learned to be afraid of talking in front of him.
I learned the word from him in the first place.
When my son swears, I just remind him that it is a bad word. I need to quit swearing myself. I feel like such a hypocrite.
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#29 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 08:23 PM
 
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With my mom it was red pepper on the tongue Water just made it worse. I will never do that to my girls!!

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#30 of 55 Old 02-14-2004, 09:12 PM
 
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I had it done to me. My mother would rub the soap into/ onto my braces, depending on whether she used a bar or liquid.

He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.  ~Albert Einstein
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