I recently had an epiphany about my ds.
For awhile I have been feeling like I didn't *like* my little boy.
So sad to even think it, I adore him so much!
He is just like every other brillant, beautiful, curious, energetic little one
at 4 1/2.
Also loud, under my feet, stubborn, angry...oh so human, full of beauty and flaws; can go to the heights of joy and then down to the depths of fear.
And I would constantly, and I mean *constantly*, go over me and dh's parenting choices, to see if we were to 'blame' for these attitudes. We are naturally drawn to AP, yet I found myself questioning our co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, whole child approach to raising him.
Then the other day, I may have been pre-menstral, and we may have had an off goodbye at pre-school, but when I got home I just started crying about how wrong I'm doing things, and as I'm bemoaning all the possible ways I need to change, I had this flash of 'It is *his* shadow side. Let him be who is (as we do) and let yourself experience him here too'.
Oh my, what a different stance for me to take. Dh has not nearly the anxiety I do, so it is clearly my own issue. And I'm not ready to call in the doc for meds or anything. I deeply believe that it is human nature to have several sides of the self. And to add a bit of humor, a friend who teaches Waldorf says that all kids from 3 1/2 -5 y/o exhibit bi-polar behaviors. Up and down, back and forth, push and pull....so we're right in the thick of it.
Today I'm in a much more gentle place with him. He is running the range of emotions, and I'm focusing on being present and available, not judgemental and nervous.
I'm wondering if others had found this potentially scary side and let it wash over them as well?
For awhile I have been feeling like I didn't *like* my little boy.
So sad to even think it, I adore him so much!
He is just like every other brillant, beautiful, curious, energetic little one
at 4 1/2.
Also loud, under my feet, stubborn, angry...oh so human, full of beauty and flaws; can go to the heights of joy and then down to the depths of fear.
And I would constantly, and I mean *constantly*, go over me and dh's parenting choices, to see if we were to 'blame' for these attitudes. We are naturally drawn to AP, yet I found myself questioning our co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, whole child approach to raising him.
Then the other day, I may have been pre-menstral, and we may have had an off goodbye at pre-school, but when I got home I just started crying about how wrong I'm doing things, and as I'm bemoaning all the possible ways I need to change, I had this flash of 'It is *his* shadow side. Let him be who is (as we do) and let yourself experience him here too'.
Oh my, what a different stance for me to take. Dh has not nearly the anxiety I do, so it is clearly my own issue. And I'm not ready to call in the doc for meds or anything. I deeply believe that it is human nature to have several sides of the self. And to add a bit of humor, a friend who teaches Waldorf says that all kids from 3 1/2 -5 y/o exhibit bi-polar behaviors. Up and down, back and forth, push and pull....so we're right in the thick of it.
Today I'm in a much more gentle place with him. He is running the range of emotions, and I'm focusing on being present and available, not judgemental and nervous.
I'm wondering if others had found this potentially scary side and let it wash over them as well?