Are you and DP tag team parenting? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 03:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
terrainthailand's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: The Pacific Northwest
Posts: 409
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This past weekend, my DH expressed some frustration that when he gets home at night and on the weekends he feels like I am trying to "hand off" our DD as though it were his turn. If he needs to get something done, he passes her back to me, and so on. He would rather that time be about being together as a family. I get it, I really do. And yet it is hard not to feel like it is his turn.

We do many activities together on the weekend, but when we are home, yeah, I guess I expect him to do the lion's share of the childcare. It is mostly the weeknights that are a problem, I think. He would love for us to do bath and story time all together, but by 5:30 I am soooo ready to sit down with a cup of hot chocolate by myself!!!

So just curious. Do other people find themselves tag team parenting more than they would like? Or maybe you love it? Does it change as children get older? Any little rituals or things you've done in your own family to ensure that the whole family spends lots of quality time together?

New mommy 12/12/08.  Living and working in the Pacific Northwest. 
Currently growing number two!
5+++1sttri.gif10----15----20----25----30----35----40
terrainthailand is offline  
#2 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 06:27 AM
ssh
 
ssh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,721
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When DD was a baby and very busy toddler it was DHs turn as soon as he got home. Now that DD is older, just turned 4, she wants some daddy time, but we do things more as a family. It kinda stopped being 'tag team' during her third year.
ssh is offline  
#3 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 07:30 AM
 
LilyGrace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,284
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think.....sometimes, it's just about timing.

Dh and I tag team, but there's an unspoken rule that at 5pm we both get "off work" and everything after is 50/50. It works out well. We both have a need to relax for 5-10 minutes, too, so he usually takes his time as soon as he walks in the door and I take mine while he's talking to The Kid. If he didn't have that little bit of transition time, that breather, I could see him feeling overwhelmed. As it is, he often cooks dinner for us all, too, so it would be constant 'work' from sun up to sun down. On the other hand, I wait just a while longer for time to myself, but I also have a break from housework and such until it's time to do dishes and clean up the kitchen.
LilyGrace is offline  
#4 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 08:11 AM
 
DangerMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 61
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah. we do mostly tag team parenting, and I hate it. We don't have much choice because of our schedules (I work standard day and DH works evenings/nights), and I long for parenting together, as a family. On the one day we get to spend time together, we still tag team since we're stuck in a rut. If I am playing on the floor with the baby, DH figures I've got it so he wanders off to do his on thing.

It is really not something I'm happy about, but when I try to talk to DH about it, I find it difficult to explain because my longing is rather vague.
DangerMom is offline  
#5 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 08:58 AM
 
Bellabaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gex, France
Posts: 843
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This happens sometimes to us too. I am at home all day witht he kids or running errands. THen dh comes home and I am trying to get dinner started, breastfeed and entertain a 2.5 year old. I fell like sweet now it is my turn to have a break. We do things together but he and dd1 have their special time in the evenings. We usually put dd1 to bed together and then I nurse dd2 to sleep.

Its a hard balance. You stay at home but its still work to take care of your children. DH works outside the home but he gets adult interaction, lunch breaks, the peaceful drive home. My dh also goes swimming 3-4 times a week and studies 2 languages for pleasure (although they may be useful in the near future). It may not sound like much but for me it would be awesome to have 45 minutes to myself to go jogging or go to yoga or study, have dinner w/o kids with a friend. Or just sit down and have a cup of coffee, watch a tv show, do my nails.

Its not dh's fault either. We have an 11 week old that I nurse on demand. Its what I gotta do right now and its worth the sacrifice for me. But then when dh comes home my reaction is often that now its my turn to have just a little bit of me time-even if the time isn't really me time because I am trying to cook for everyone, etc.

Mamma to dd1 3/8/07, one 9.5.08, and dd2 9/9/09
Bellabaz is offline  
#6 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 09:52 AM
 
IntuitiveJamie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 3,812
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes we do and it's very tiring for both of us because we don't do it for breaks, we do it because I'm getting my business off the ground and so as soon as he gets home it's like pass off so I can do work. However we do have a lot of family time too, which I'm grateful for. I wish we could afford a babysitter a couple of times a week for a few hours, so that we could both get breaks and/or get more work done. And then at the same time, I'm very grateful we are such an awesome team and both work so hard to make our lives work.
Tag team parenting is tiring though, but for us, it's the only way right now.

Mindful Spirit Expo is on April 21 and 22nd. Raise your consciousness!

Intuitive Encounters business merger means discounts for a limited time.

IntuitiveJamie is offline  
#7 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 10:39 AM
 
russsk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 1,017
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We do this, but it works for us. When DH gets home he takes DS for a walk and they unwind and I make dinner. They come back, we eat, and DH plays with DS and does bath and a story. I clean up from dinner and then take a few minutes for myself. When it's time for bed I go up and help with a story, some cuddles, then nurse DS to sleep. DH relaxes and does his thing. Then we hang out together.

It took a little while to find some balance, but this works well for us. On the weekends we do things as a family, though one of us takes over if the other needs to do something.

Mama to DS1 (2/08) and DS2 (9/10).
russsk is offline  
#8 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 11:11 AM
 
kiwiva's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 899
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We tag team. DH travels a lot and when he is home I tend to hand her off a lot. In the evenings once dinner is done I am in the bathtub often and we both participate in bedtime and then he finishes putting her to bed. Now that she's 3 she lets him and frankly that was all on me for most of the last 3 years.

Weekends we do stuff together outside of the few hours that they do their thing together out of the house. I definitely see a point in the future where it is less tag team now that she is older (she's 3).
kiwiva is offline  
#9 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 11:20 AM
 
The4OfUs's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 5,102
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
On days I'm feeling super stressed, then I do "check out" for a bit when DH gets home, but I warn him beforehand that it's been a logn day and I need him to take point when he gets home because I need to escape for a bit. Other than those occasional days, we don't tag team - when he gets home we're both 'on duty' and do things as needed. Some days I do more, some days he does (though I do more more than he does )

When the kids were younger (actually, I'd say really up until last year), there was an inequity that when we were both home I was the primary parent and the go to almost all the time, unless I specifically told him I was unavailable for a while, then he would take over as point person (willingly, it was just that I was the default parent). Now that the kids are 3 and 5 (almost 6) they go to us equally for things when both of us are home. I wasn't resentful about the inequity really - sometimes I was, when I was a little burnt but then I'd tell him and get some relief...it just kind of was because I was with them all day, so they were used to me and asking me for things, so that even if DH was around they'd still default to me. I started directing them away from that last year some time and it's become a lot more equitable.

Heather, WAHM to DS (01/04)DD (06/06). Wed to DH(09/97)
The4OfUs is offline  
#10 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 12:13 PM
 
pianojazzgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Montreal
Posts: 4,335
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think this really does have a lot to do with the age of your kid(s), at least it does with me. Older kids are better able to entertain themselves (generally speaking), so even if you're at home with them by yourself all day you still can probably get some of your own "stuff" done, and maybe even have a chance to veg out a bit. But when they're younger (esp if they don't have an older sibling to play with) they need an awful lot of hands-on time, and of course more supervision. When I've been the only one parenting my toddler for hours on end then, when dh gets home, I often do the old "hand-off". I think that's normal, and something that changes in time.

That said, we also do tons of stuff all together as a family. There is definitely a good balance for us.

Kate, mom to 7 year old Djuna and 4 yr old Alden. Missing our good friend Hal the cat who died June 2, 2010

pianojazzgirl is offline  
#11 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 12:24 PM
 
nwatt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 121
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am so glad to hear that other people do this. I feel so bad that when my husband walks through the door I sometimes just hand our daughter off to him. I know that he has been at work all day, but I just get so tired sometimes! I need to be able to take a break and not think about her needs for a little while. We nurse on demand, so it's not like I can really take a break, but every little bit helps. At least my husband seems to enjoy it. He wore her in a wrap while he walked around the house last night and was really happy. I also usually have dinner ready so that all he has to do is serve it.

Natalie ~ DH 8/04 ~ DD 8/09 ~ Identical Twin Boys Arrived at 34w5d on March 2, 2011

nwatt is offline  
#12 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 12:34 PM
 
Latte Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: In toddler tantrum land
Posts: 1,261
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes. We're another couple that work opposite shifts, me on days and DH on eves. It's really hard not to tag team with this kind of life right now. When DH gets home, if DS isn't asleep then he puts him to bed.

Even with our schedules, I still spend way more time with DS, probably 70/30. So when DH is here, I tend to snatch my break time immediately. I think it will change as DS gets older though.

Mama to one 2 yr. old tornado banana.gif
Latte Mama is offline  
#13 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 12:57 PM
 
NicaG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 1,733
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah, we tag off a lot, especially on weekends. However, I don't necessarily feel like it's dh's turn to do all the childcare when he gets home. I feel like we both work a long day (dh at work, me at home with the kids), and he deserves a break at the end of the day as much as I do. I've gotten a lot better about pacing myself during the day, so I have the stamina to "work" until the kids are in bed.

Usually when dh comes home, he grabs a snack and says hi to the kids and plays a few minutes, then he changes his clothes and takes a few minutes, sometimes does a few chores around the house by himself or checks his work email. Then he takes over with the kids, and I clean up the kitchen or start a load of laundry. Really, no one's resting until the kids are in bed.

Taking care of kids is a hard job, but for myself, I don't necessarily think it's harder than other jobs. In a lot of ways, it's easier. I remember how tired I was after a long day and long commute before I had kids, and I try to respect that dh is tired and needs a break too.

lady.gif mama to H. 4/05 and A. 9/08 and baby C. 10/11

NicaG is offline  
#14 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 03:41 PM
 
MtBikeLover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Chicago Burbs
Posts: 1,644
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by terrainthailand View Post
, my DH expressed some frustration that when he gets home at night and on the weekends he feels like I am trying to "hand off" our DD as though it were his turn.
I would really try to hear his frustration and find a middle ground that will allow you both some time off after working all day as well as give you family time.

My ex was a SAHP and I worked. He felt much the same way in that he had worked all day being a parent so when i got home, he deserved to be off. That meant I did 100% of the parenting from 5 til bedtime. It sucked big time. I wanted to spend time as a family and he couldn't wait to get away from the family. But also, I NEVER got a break. I worked full time and parented full time and there was never any time for me. As you can imagine, the resentment built on both ends. That was not the cause of our divorce, but it was a contributing factor.

I think you both need to sit down and choose times that are family times (ie dinner, bath, or story/bedtime) and times that you each get to unwind after the day. Maybe make a rough weekly schedule. But the key is that it has to be agreed by both of you.
MtBikeLover is offline  
#15 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 03:42 PM
 
blackbird2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 201
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just another way to think about it:

When DS was born, DP was a student and I was working part time, so we were very equal parents. Now DP is working full time, but I/we still want him to have that close relationship with DS and to feel fully competent as a parent (rather than secondary to me since I do it all the time, see it everyday, know that DS always, etc, etc). So that time when he comes home is his time with DS, not because he has to take over childcare, but because he misses out on DS all day.
blackbird2 is offline  
#16 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 06:02 PM
 
Mal85's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,358
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We most definitely tag team, on weekdays anyway. I babysit 10 hours a day. I have my 15 month old nephew, my 9 month old daughter, a 10 month old girl and 2 year old boy... by myself for 10 hours a day. So, when the others are all picked up and DH is home, he takes over for a little while. I need just a little time when I'm just not touched anymore. I literally have babies climbing all over me all day, so I need some no touching time.

DH used to complain a little, he felt like the daytime hours didn't count because I want to be at home and I'm working a job just like him. We had some arguments about it... that DD isn't my job, no one is paying me to care for her and he spends the entire workday away from him so I don't think it's too much to ask that he get some daddy/daughter time for a little while in the evening. It helps them bond and gives me a bit of a break.

After the initial half hour or so, we both help with dinner and do spend time together as a family until DD goes to bed. I put her to bed and he puts her back to sleep if she wakes, which is usually once before we go to bed. When she wakes in the middle of the night, he gets her and brings her to me, then I do the rest of the nighttime parenting. We've got a pretty good groove here lately, I'd say.

Mallory. Happily married to Joe since 6/25/05. Loving my adventure with my girls, Owyn Samantha, born 3/1/09. dust.gif and Greta June, born 11/2/11  babygirl.gif

Mal85 is offline  
#17 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 08:03 PM
 
boringscreenname's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 265
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DP and I are doing a lot of tag team parenting. I work nights and he works days. I only work 4 nights a week, so on my 3 days off, I do the majority of everything. A lot of the time DS and I go out to break up the monotony. We go out to lunch, walk around the mall, the bookstore etc. That way It feels like I'm getting a break that way, and it' a great way to knock out a chunk of time.

Sometimes we both feel a bit burned out, but we always let the other one know when, and give each other breaks. And if one person has done the majority of the childcare duties then usually the other person will take care of dinner, and we'll eat dinner as a family and relax in the living room. It's not ideal but we're making it work for us.
boringscreenname is offline  
#18 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 10:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
terrainthailand's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: The Pacific Northwest
Posts: 409
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for all the great responses. I guess I am not surprised that so many of us parent this way. It feels like a necessity, at least while DD is still so young. I have tried to hear him and, on the days I'm not totally burnt out, I am joining in with bath time after I have got dinner prepped and on the stove.

To those who mentioned that WOH is difficult too. I hear what you are saying. I was a professional for many years and I know what a challenge that is. I am trying to not bombard him the second he walks in the door. I do give DH a chance to change his clothes , but after that I think it makes sense for them to spend some time together. The point I wanted to raise though is that while WOH can be challenging, tiring and stressful, I think it is really hard to compare it to child rearing. My DD still wakes several times at night to nurse making my "work" a 24-7 thing, whether DH is helping or not. And I don't get lunch breaks or coffee breaks!!! You can see I have thought about the comparison a lot! DH has another year on his contract here in Bangkok, but after that we plan for him to be the SAH parent and we are both really excited to mix things up a bit!!

New mommy 12/12/08.  Living and working in the Pacific Northwest. 
Currently growing number two!
5+++1sttri.gif10----15----20----25----30----35----40
terrainthailand is offline  
#19 of 24 Old 11-24-2009, 11:17 PM
 
olien's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Central NJ
Posts: 687
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I didnt know there was a name for this style of parenting.

I am just exhausted when DH gets home & need time to make dinner. DH hates it & in the beginning would get mad at me for "passing him off on me". Now that DS is a little older it is better. (DH is not very hands on at this point, but getting better )

 Wife of 10 yrs to Oaties, Mama to Bubs 08/06/08, Rizie 04/19/10 & MRae 02/02/13 & to dog2.gif

olien is offline  
#20 of 24 Old 11-25-2009, 12:28 AM
 
snoopy5386's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2,598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
of course! Is there another way to parent a small child?

When DH gets home from work DD becomes his responsibilty. She helps him get changed, they play silly games, or play with toys, or grab a snack, or watch a tv show or play a board game. Sometimes he'll get to veg for a bit if DD is content to play by herself.

Meanwhile I'm vegging myself, making dinner, finishing chores I didn't get a chance to do earlier or heading out to run errands. We do dinner together, he does bath and we do bedtime together

On the weekends where we don't have plans one of us will get up with DD in the morning while the other sleeps in. We usually try to do one family activity a day but the rest of the day is spent handing off DD while the other person vegs or does chores/projects. We eat meals together and will sometimes watch a movie all together.

Mom to Morgan 4-3-06 and announcing Baby Kelsey 4-11-10
snoopy5386 is offline  
#21 of 24 Old 11-25-2009, 12:55 AM
 
demottm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 178
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We totally tag team. My DH knows that when he gets home it is his turn. It has taken a couple of years to get into a steady rhythem but we each take some time for ourselves each week. We also have a farmers market ritual every sunday. We all go pretty much no matter what. It really helps keep us connected as a family.
demottm is offline  
#22 of 24 Old 11-25-2009, 04:33 AM
 
Bellabaz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gex, France
Posts: 843
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by blackbird2 View Post
Just another way to think about it:

When DS was born, DP was a student and I was working part time, so we were very equal parents. Now DP is working full time, but I/we still want him to have that close relationship with DS and to feel fully competent as a parent (rather than secondary to me since I do it all the time, see it everyday, know that DS always, etc, etc). So that time when he comes home is his time with DS, not because he has to take over childcare, but because he misses out on DS all day.
I also think about it like this sometimes. Its quite hard for dh and dd2. She is still so little and nurses on demand and her fussy time is generally the evening. All of these factor contribute to limit time between the two of them. But I want him to be able to bond with her like he did with dd1. With dd1 though our situation was quite different. I was working full time and he was a PhD student. He also took 1 month after I went back to work and spent 3 days a week at home with dd1.

Mamma to dd1 3/8/07, one 9.5.08, and dd2 9/9/09
Bellabaz is offline  
#23 of 24 Old 11-25-2009, 11:52 AM
 
Aliyahsmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: I live in Omaha, Nebraska
Posts: 163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have childcare duties 90% of the time in our home. I actually wish I could tag team more. I do however take advantage of doing so whenever possible by sending my toddler to ask her father lol. I honestly hate it as I feel like even when he is home he makes himself unavailable by being in the garage or basement so I still end up doing most of everything. I'm sure he hates it to as it seems the minute he makes an appearance he is being asked to do something as I always feel like it is his turn. It would be nice if it was a joint teamwork effort that was being done together instead.
Last night we actually did bedtime together because I was getting so frustrated after an hour of trying by myself to get our toddler to sleep and he doesn't have a lot of patience to begin with...it was wonderful. It seemed to take less time in general when we did so together and I felt like I had an actual partner for that amount of time so that took the stress level way down! I just wish it would happen more often in our home, though I'm not really sure how to implement it.
Aliyahsmommy is offline  
#24 of 24 Old 11-25-2009, 04:28 PM
 
2lilsweetfoxes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: My own little world...
Posts: 1,359
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by nwatt View Post
I am so glad to hear that other people do this. I feel so bad that when my husband walks through the door I sometimes just hand our daughter off to him. I know that he has been at work all day, but I just get so tired sometimes! I need to be able to take a break and not think about her needs for a little while. We nurse on demand, so it's not like I can really take a break, but every little bit helps. At least my husband seems to enjoy it. He wore her in a wrap while he walked around the house last night and was really happy. I also usually have dinner ready so that all he has to do is serve it.
My husband tends to do the same thing. As soon as I walk into the door after a day of dealing with "Stupid" (as we call the things these soldiers do to earn themselves attention from my office), I'm greeted by a house that needs cleaning, dinner that needs to be made, a baby that wants a breastfeeding, an eight year old that wants to know if she can play on the computer and needs me to log her in, and a six year old that wants something every five minutes. And I want to get out of my uniform and put some playclothes on. And he's on his computer, playing Warcraft doing arenas with his brother and friend. I want a chance to sit down and play, too. I've tried to put the kids to bed early, but then I spend the time trying to get them to bed, getting angry at them for not going to bed and DH for not helping. The other day, DH commented that I was sounding upset and resentful.

I never get any real "me-time". The entire time I'm awake, I'm on duty, either work or family. If I check out, then everything falls apart around me, or I'm brought back to reality very quickly. And I'm extremely introverted and need a lot of alone time. Oh, if I could only be guaranteed 30 minutes without interruption by kids, bosses, dh, or privates.
2lilsweetfoxes is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off