describe your parenting style? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 31 Old 12-04-2009, 06:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
sisteeesmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: colo spgs, co
Posts: 951
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Anyone want to lay out their parenting style?
I would love to see how others describe their personal philosophies and ideals if anyone wants to share!
If the thread takes off I will share mine, too
sisteeesmama is offline  
#2 of 31 Old 12-04-2009, 06:51 PM
 
mamabear0314's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,262
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)
Instinctual? That's what I usually say if someone asks.

Single, student mama slingboy.gif to 3 boys jumpers.gif 

 

homeschool.gif saynovax.gif signcirc1.gif bfinfant.gif femalesling.GIF familybed2.gif h20homebirth.gif 

mamabear0314 is offline  
#3 of 31 Old 12-04-2009, 07:18 PM
 
Encinalien's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: South Texas
Posts: 490
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I guess our parenting style is primitive, almost animalistic in a good way. It's all about providing the optimal growing conditions for our little toddler, consistent comfortable temperature in the house, healthy meals at regular hours with frequent fresh healthy snacks. Excersize inside when the weather's bad and trips to the park or walking instead of driving for physical activity, but with a focus on peacefulness and calmness, active, yet calm. I say animal because I often feel like a mother dog with a puppy. I'm with him all the time. It's physical, like he climbs on me and sits on me a hovers around me. He just hangs out and I teach him stuff, kind of like a mother dog.
Personal philosophy? I want to keep giving him as much as he can carry away with him.
Encinalien is offline  
#4 of 31 Old 12-04-2009, 07:37 PM
 
Cascadian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 892
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Um....postmodern? A mix of attachment parenting, continuum concept, dashes of conservatism, with an overall liberal slant...

Heh...
Cascadian is offline  
#5 of 31 Old 12-04-2009, 09:54 PM
 
Thalia the Muse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,829
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I guess I'd say "adaptable." We do what seems to work for our kid and our family!
Thalia the Muse is offline  
#6 of 31 Old 12-04-2009, 10:12 PM
 
funkymamajoy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Southern California
Posts: 739
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I describe myself as my kids' mom. I just try to parent them according to their needs.

Joy wife to DH, mom to DS1 (4/2005): DD (5/2007) : : DS2 (1/2009 :
I do what works and when it stops working, then I do something else.
funkymamajoy is offline  
#7 of 31 Old 12-04-2009, 11:20 PM
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,524
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have no idea what word or phrase would describe it, actually. We are fully AP and have been since birth (or before, really). We believe that AP is about meeting a child's needs, not a checklist. We do not believe in either rewards or punishments and practice gentle discipline. We are also Waldorf-inspired but definitely not purists, nor do we aspire to be so. We homeschool from a Waldorf perspective, so things like rhythms, family traditions, nature, and making things are a HUGE part of our lives. We try to live comfortably but minimally. We try to buy hand-made or second-hand when possible. We believe that play is the magical work of childhood but that children should also be assimilated into the family work of household tasks when they show interest. Likewise, parents are to be models for children to know how to "be human." We are fully practicing Christians, so our faith is interwoven throughout our lives--from praying as a family, to the stories we read, to the holidays we celebrate, to giving to charity, etc. We believe in living life 3-dimensionally, so no TV for us. We strive to fill our lives with a quilt of experiences. Our ideal is to be a reflection of Christ both within our family and toward those we meet.

Allison:  a little bit Waldorf, a little bit Medievalish, and always"MOMMMMYYYY!" to sweet Cecily since 12.22.05
LuxPerpetua is offline  
#8 of 31 Old 12-04-2009, 11:53 PM
 
KristaDJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Instinctual, that sums it up for us

Krista; blessed mother to four earthly beings and three non-physical. Basking in my beautiful rainbow. 
 
 

KristaDJ is offline  
#9 of 31 Old 12-05-2009, 01:51 AM
 
sewchris2642's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: San Diego county, CA
Posts: 1,389
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I listened to what each child needed. I never really thought that my parenting had a style. We made decisions that we thought were good at the time. Some of them turned out to be perfect; others, not so much. And some we made simply because they worked for us and were neutral to the kids.

Chris--extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, babywearing, co-sleeping, APing, CLW, homeschooling before any of this was a trend mom to Joy (1/78), Erica (8/80), Angela (9/84), Dylan (2/98)
sewchris2642 is online now  
#10 of 31 Old 12-05-2009, 03:15 AM
 
MadiMamacita's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Bend, OR
Posts: 3,929
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Go-With-The-Flow.
I guess that could also be called instinctual, child-led, adaptable, need-meeting..
i take very seriously the idea of "take what works for you and leave the rest"

 treehugger.gif *CPST*  mama to my three year old DS1 broc1.gif1.31.09 and wedded to angel 8.07  hola.gif

DS 2  waterbirth.jpg 8/18/12!!

 
 

MadiMamacita is offline  
#11 of 31 Old 12-05-2009, 03:29 AM
 
major_mama11's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,165
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Laid-back

“War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.”
― George Orwell, 1984
major_mama11 is offline  
#12 of 31 Old 12-05-2009, 06:14 AM
 
Litcrit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Belgrade, Serbia
Posts: 219
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Passive Parenting.

We're lazy. The kid learns to take initiative. She asks for more clothes if she's cold. She eats when she's hungry (as we also do) - when we sit for lunch she usually wants to eat with us. If not, she can eat later. She invents games and asks us to play - we join. She wants to read a book - we do. It started with breastfeeding on demand and sort of spread into everything.
Litcrit is offline  
#13 of 31 Old 12-05-2009, 06:50 AM
 
Holiztic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: MD
Posts: 2,188
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Here are some of our influences:

Attachment Parenting
Waldorf Lifestyle/Home
Continuum Concept
Weston A Price/Traditional Foods
Ayurveda and other forms of natural healing
Non-consumerism/minimalism
Blend of conservative lifestyle with liberal political/religious leaning
Homeschoooling
Holiztic is offline  
#14 of 31 Old 12-05-2009, 07:36 AM
 
LilyGrace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,284
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm......I don't know. I'd have to say full of routine, focused on independence/gradual responsibility, natural/logical consequences, and very laid back. Can that all go together? I'm trying to raise an adult.

I try to make sure the family runs smooth no matter what else is going on. It is very nice to know that wherever we are in the world, the same rules apply, the same routines happen. I try to make it the one constant thing in our lives. I know right now that with The Kid (10) two states away, he doesn't have to be told what to to. I know that when he is with family for a few hours here and there, he takes initiative and does what needs to be done before he goes off to play. It's a very nice feeling.

I'm a lazy parent. I teach The Kid to do minor tasks and let them belong to him. I take a lot of inspiration from The Gilbreths (just adapted for 1, not 12!). We only have 4 rules in our home: be safe, respectful, moral, and legal. It's an easy checklist to go through before a decision is made. I don't care about the small things or have to have everything go past me to give my ok. It's just not important. Kid wants to go play outside in 40 degree weather? Fine. He knows where his jacket is. Wants to roll up in the living room carpet and pretend he's a burrito? Whatever. He knows how to roll it back out when he's done.
LilyGrace is offline  
#15 of 31 Old 12-05-2009, 02:04 PM
 
cappuccinosmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: SW Pennsylvania
Posts: 5,628
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Mixed.

I don't know that there's a term for our style.

In discipline, we are authoritative (not authoritarian) but there's a good bit of grace-based-discipline in there.

In lifestyle, we are right in the middle-of-the road, not extreme on either the natural or the mainstream end.

In parenting habits, I lean towards ap with extended breastfeeding, cosleeping, babywearing, etc. But there is also gentle sleep training, they have their own beds, etc.
cappuccinosmom is offline  
#16 of 31 Old 12-05-2009, 02:45 PM
 
Litcrit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Belgrade, Serbia
Posts: 219
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyGrace View Post

I'm a lazy parent. I teach The Kid to do minor tasks and let them belong to him. I take a lot of inspiration from The Gilbreths (just adapted for 1, not 12!). We only have 4 rules in our home: be safe, respectful, moral, and legal. It's an easy checklist to go through before a decision is made. I don't care about the small things or have to have everything go past me to give my ok. It's just not important. Kid wants to go play outside in 40 degree weather? Fine. He knows where his jacket is. Wants to roll up in the living room carpet and pretend he's a burrito? Whatever. He knows how to roll it back out when he's done.
Love it!
Litcrit is offline  
#17 of 31 Old 12-05-2009, 03:59 PM
 
Llyra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: right here
Posts: 9,450
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyGrace View Post
I'm......I don't know. I'd have to say full of routine, focused on independence/gradual responsibility, natural/logical consequences, and very laid back. Can that all go together? I'm trying to raise an adult.

I try to make sure the family runs smooth no matter what else is going on. It is very nice to know that wherever we are in the world, the same rules apply, the same routines happen. I try to make it the one constant thing in our lives. I know right now that with The Kid (10) two states away, he doesn't have to be told what to to. I know that when he is with family for a few hours here and there, he takes initiative and does what needs to be done before he goes off to play. It's a very nice feeling.

I'm a lazy parent. I teach The Kid to do minor tasks and let them belong to him. I take a lot of inspiration from The Gilbreths (just adapted for 1, not 12!). We only have 4 rules in our home: be safe, respectful, moral, and legal. It's an easy checklist to go through before a decision is made. I don't care about the small things or have to have everything go past me to give my ok. It's just not important. Kid wants to go play outside in 40 degree weather? Fine. He knows where his jacket is. Wants to roll up in the living room carpet and pretend he's a burrito? Whatever. He knows how to roll it back out when he's done.
This sounds a lot like me, only I have three. We're structured, with a lot of routine. Lots of freedom but also more responsibilities than many kids their age. Not particularly child-centered. Authoritative, I think, and definitely comfortable with more tradition hierarchies in the family, and with firmer boundaries between parent and child. My babies were APed, DD1 very much so, and the twins as much as I could with multiples, but we moved away from the "natural" styles as they get older, I guess, into more of a middle-of-the road approach.

me knit.gif, he bikenew.gif, my three reading.gif, sleepytime.gif, and fairy.gif-- and the one we lost angel2.gif
Llyra is offline  
#18 of 31 Old 12-05-2009, 04:10 PM
 
Drummer's Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Land of Enchantment
Posts: 11,793
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Litcrit View Post
Passive Parenting.

We're lazy. The kid learns to take initiative. She asks for more clothes if she's cold. She eats when she's hungry (as we also do) - when we sit for lunch she usually wants to eat with us. If not, she can eat later. She invents games and asks us to play - we join. She wants to read a book - we do. It started with breastfeeding on demand and sort of spread into everything.
This sounds like me (but with four kids )

ribboncesarean.gif cesareans happen.
Drummer's Wife is offline  
#19 of 31 Old 12-06-2009, 01:14 PM
 
MamaEli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 372
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Very middle of the road...not 100% anything. I try to give my kids lots of experiences to learn from--travel, museums, parks, etc. We love them and give lots of hugs and kisses, lots of one on one time with each. Storybooks. All physical and emotional needs are provided for. We are very involved in our church, and we try to be like Christ in our home. We also want them to be involved in their cultural background, so there is a lot of talk about that. We have rules, we have routine, we do discipine our children in many different ways. We think it's important for them to realize that the house DOES NOT revolve around them, that we are a team together but mom and dad are in charge. So, I don't know if this has a name, if anything, traditional child raising.
MamaEli is offline  
#20 of 31 Old 12-06-2009, 04:20 PM
 
holyhelianthus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: the Southern California desert
Posts: 11,082
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I use "Life-led". To me it means we have welcomed our children into our lives and life in general and are here to help them navigate life until they are ready to do so on their own. Essentially we feel we are teaching them to be independent (not islands but independent) from the get go.

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
holyhelianthus is offline  
#21 of 31 Old 12-06-2009, 04:42 PM
 
sunnmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: surrounded by love
Posts: 6,447
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It's a mix of laidback and straightforward. I'm a "big picture" parent. I'm handsoff for the little stuff, and no-nonsense about the big stuff. We use a differentiation between "kid decisions" and "parent decisions", with continually more shifting toward the "kid decision" column as they grow older.
sunnmama is offline  
#22 of 31 Old 12-06-2009, 06:38 PM
 
*bejeweled*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,372
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I try to say "yes" more than I say "no". I try to be warm and nurturing and forgiving. I try to give her all of my love and attention. I try to set clear boundaries so that she knows what to expect. I try to say "sorry" when I'm wrong.

Me afro.jpg reading.gif Wife and Mom to modifiedartist.gif cat.gifdog2.gif.
*bejeweled* is offline  
#23 of 31 Old 12-06-2009, 07:16 PM
 
hottmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
Posts: 5,305
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think of my parenting style as practical parenting.
I attachment parent babies because it makes sense-- it maximizes their health and minimizes their disruptiveness. I try to think of the Continuum Concept once they are mobile, with them crawling off my lap, learning to walk and climb up and down stairs, self-feeding, etc. I think children, once past toddlerhood, will live up to your expectations so I expect them to behave well in public, to have good manners, to be kind, respectful, and obedient. And if they don't live up to those expectations there are consequences so that they can do better next time. I also think of myself as a free-range mom.
hottmama is offline  
#24 of 31 Old 12-06-2009, 09:45 PM
 
holyhelianthus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: the Southern California desert
Posts: 11,082
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by hottmama View Post
I think of my parenting style as practical parenting.
I attachment parent babies because it makes sense-- it maximizes their health and minimizes their disruptiveness. I try to think of the Continuum Concept once they are mobile, with them crawling off my lap, learning to walk and climb up and down stairs, self-feeding, etc. I think children, once past toddlerhood, will live up to your expectations so I expect them to behave well in public, to have good manners, to be kind, respectful, and obedient. And if they don't live up to those expectations there are consequences so that they can do better next time. I also think of myself as a free-range mom.
I like this.

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
holyhelianthus is offline  
#25 of 31 Old 12-06-2009, 10:06 PM
 
prothyraia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: The Borean Tundra
Posts: 2,317
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Let's see...

1. Babies and children are human beings and worthy of respect.
2. Infants and small children don't realize they live in the twentyfirst century. All babies are cave-babies. What Would Cave Momma Do?
3. Say "yes" as often as you can, but when you need to set a limit, do so firmly, with confidence, and without guilt.
4. Do what is necessary to preserve your own sanity as well as your physical and emotional well being.
prothyraia is offline  
#26 of 31 Old 12-06-2009, 10:13 PM
 
nwatt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 121
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by micah_mae_ View Post
Instinctual? That's what I usually say if someone asks.
Ditto.

Natalie ~ DH 8/04 ~ DD 8/09 ~ Identical Twin Boys Arrived at 34w5d on March 2, 2011

nwatt is offline  
#27 of 31 Old 12-06-2009, 10:15 PM
 
Drummer's Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Land of Enchantment
Posts: 11,793
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by prothyraia View Post
Let's see...

1. Babies and children are human beings and worthy of respect.
2. Infants and small children don't realize they live in the twentyfirst century. All babies are cave-babies. What Would Cave Momma Do?
3. Say "yes" as often as you can, but when you need to set a limit, do so firmly, with confidence, and without guilt.
4. Do what is necessary to preserve your own sanity as well as your physical and emotional well being.
I really like this.

ribboncesarean.gif cesareans happen.
Drummer's Wife is offline  
#28 of 31 Old 12-06-2009, 10:17 PM
 
InstinctiveMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Let's see...

1. Babies and children are human beings and worthy of respect.
2. Infants and small children don't realize they live in the twentyfirst century. All babies are cave-babies. What Would Cave Momma Do?
3. Say "yes" as often as you can, but when you need to set a limit, do so firmly, with confidence, and without guilt.
4. Do what is necessary to preserve your own sanity as well as your physical and emotional well being.
Well said, prothyraia!

My style is much the same. I've found that it has adapted as my kids have grown. I put a lot of stock in what my instincts tell me (hence, my username). "slightly crunchy AP mama" has been my tagline for close to a decade now and I still think it is a fitting description.

~h tea6.gif
wife to shamrocksmile.gifShamrocks (8-8-99)
slightly crunchy homeschooling AP mama to biggrinbounce.gifLittleBoyBlue(2001) & goldfish.gifPeaGreen(2003)
angel.gifmissing our babe (6/2009)
fly-by-nursing2.giffamilybed2.gif novaxnocirc.gif  mdcblog5.gif
InstinctiveMom is offline  
#29 of 31 Old 12-07-2009, 02:17 AM
 
2lilsweetfoxes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: My own little world...
Posts: 1,359
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'd go with "in-between": too mainstream to be crunchy and too crunchy to be mainstream. I try to take my children's desires into consideration, but DH and I have final say in all matters (DD wants to stay up until midnight. She has school tomorrow and needs to be up at 6:30 am. She needs 8-9 hours of sleep to be 'functional'. Ergo, she goes to bed no later than 9:30-10:00. End of story. No arguments. No negotiation.) We use both cloth and disposable diapers. I wear my baby and we use a stroller. We eat a mainly whole-foods gluten-free diet. But, I'm not adverse to a small amount of candy or treats...
2lilsweetfoxes is offline  
#30 of 31 Old 12-07-2009, 02:50 AM
 
Super_mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 100
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am a "Go with a flow" mom.
Super_mommy is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off