describe your parenting style? - Mothering Forums

describe your parenting style?

sisteeesmama's Avatar sisteeesmama (TS)
07:20 PM Liked: 11
#1 of 31
12-04-2009 | Posts: 891
Joined: Oct 2008
Anyone want to lay out their parenting style?
I would love to see how others describe their personal philosophies and ideals if anyone wants to share!
If the thread takes off I will share mine, too
mamabear0314's Avatar mamabear0314
07:51 PM Liked: 2159
#2 of 31
12-04-2009 | Posts: 1,278
Joined: May 2008
Instinctual? That's what I usually say if someone asks.
Encinalien's Avatar Encinalien
08:18 PM Liked: 25
#3 of 31
12-04-2009 | Posts: 425
Joined: Mar 2007
I guess our parenting style is primitive, almost animalistic in a good way. It's all about providing the optimal growing conditions for our little toddler, consistent comfortable temperature in the house, healthy meals at regular hours with frequent fresh healthy snacks. Excersize inside when the weather's bad and trips to the park or walking instead of driving for physical activity, but with a focus on peacefulness and calmness, active, yet calm. I say animal because I often feel like a mother dog with a puppy. I'm with him all the time. It's physical, like he climbs on me and sits on me a hovers around me. He just hangs out and I teach him stuff, kind of like a mother dog.
Personal philosophy? I want to keep giving him as much as he can carry away with him.
Cascadian's Avatar Cascadian
08:37 PM Liked: 41
#4 of 31
12-04-2009 | Posts: 880
Joined: Jan 2009
Um....postmodern? A mix of attachment parenting, continuum concept, dashes of conservatism, with an overall liberal slant...

Heh...
Thalia the Muse's Avatar Thalia the Muse
10:54 PM Liked: 60
#5 of 31
12-04-2009 | Posts: 2,771
Joined: Jun 2006
I guess I'd say "adaptable." We do what seems to work for our kid and our family!
funkymamajoy's Avatar funkymamajoy
11:12 PM Liked: 35
#6 of 31
12-04-2009 | Posts: 728
Joined: May 2008
I describe myself as my kids' mom. I just try to parent them according to their needs.
LuxPerpetua
12:20 AM Liked: 20
#7 of 31
12-05-2009 | Posts: 1,517
Joined: Dec 2003
I have no idea what word or phrase would describe it, actually. We are fully AP and have been since birth (or before, really). We believe that AP is about meeting a child's needs, not a checklist. We do not believe in either rewards or punishments and practice gentle discipline. We are also Waldorf-inspired but definitely not purists, nor do we aspire to be so. We homeschool from a Waldorf perspective, so things like rhythms, family traditions, nature, and making things are a HUGE part of our lives. We try to live comfortably but minimally. We try to buy hand-made or second-hand when possible. We believe that play is the magical work of childhood but that children should also be assimilated into the family work of household tasks when they show interest. Likewise, parents are to be models for children to know how to "be human." We are fully practicing Christians, so our faith is interwoven throughout our lives--from praying as a family, to the stories we read, to the holidays we celebrate, to giving to charity, etc. We believe in living life 3-dimensionally, so no TV for us. We strive to fill our lives with a quilt of experiences. Our ideal is to be a reflection of Christ both within our family and toward those we meet.
KristaDJ's Avatar KristaDJ
12:53 AM Liked: 22
#8 of 31
12-05-2009 | Posts: 1,451
Joined: May 2009
Instinctual, that sums it up for us
sewchris2642's Avatar sewchris2642
02:51 AM Liked: 109
#9 of 31
12-05-2009 | Posts: 1,378
Joined: Feb 2009
I listened to what each child needed. I never really thought that my parenting had a style. We made decisions that we thought were good at the time. Some of them turned out to be perfect; others, not so much. And some we made simply because they worked for us and were neutral to the kids.
MadiMamacita's Avatar MadiMamacita
04:15 AM Liked: 120
#10 of 31
12-05-2009 | Posts: 3,878
Joined: Jan 2006
Go-With-The-Flow.
I guess that could also be called instinctual, child-led, adaptable, need-meeting..
i take very seriously the idea of "take what works for you and leave the rest"
major_mama11's Avatar major_mama11
04:29 AM Liked: 19
#11 of 31
12-05-2009 | Posts: 1,133
Joined: Apr 2008
Laid-back
Litcrit's Avatar Litcrit
07:14 AM Liked: 11
#12 of 31
12-05-2009 | Posts: 212
Joined: Feb 2009
Passive Parenting.

We're lazy. The kid learns to take initiative. She asks for more clothes if she's cold. She eats when she's hungry (as we also do) - when we sit for lunch she usually wants to eat with us. If not, she can eat later. She invents games and asks us to play - we join. She wants to read a book - we do. It started with breastfeeding on demand and sort of spread into everything.
Holiztic's Avatar Holiztic
07:50 AM Liked: 11
#13 of 31
12-05-2009 | Posts: 2,183
Joined: Oct 2005
Here are some of our influences:

Attachment Parenting
Waldorf Lifestyle/Home
Continuum Concept
Weston A Price/Traditional Foods
Ayurveda and other forms of natural healing
Non-consumerism/minimalism
Blend of conservative lifestyle with liberal political/religious leaning
Homeschoooling
LilyGrace's Avatar LilyGrace
08:36 AM Liked: 11
#14 of 31
12-05-2009 | Posts: 2,244
Joined: Jun 2007
I'm......I don't know. I'd have to say full of routine, focused on independence/gradual responsibility, natural/logical consequences, and very laid back. Can that all go together? I'm trying to raise an adult.

I try to make sure the family runs smooth no matter what else is going on. It is very nice to know that wherever we are in the world, the same rules apply, the same routines happen. I try to make it the one constant thing in our lives. I know right now that with The Kid (10) two states away, he doesn't have to be told what to to. I know that when he is with family for a few hours here and there, he takes initiative and does what needs to be done before he goes off to play. It's a very nice feeling.

I'm a lazy parent. I teach The Kid to do minor tasks and let them belong to him. I take a lot of inspiration from The Gilbreths (just adapted for 1, not 12!). We only have 4 rules in our home: be safe, respectful, moral, and legal. It's an easy checklist to go through before a decision is made. I don't care about the small things or have to have everything go past me to give my ok. It's just not important. Kid wants to go play outside in 40 degree weather? Fine. He knows where his jacket is. Wants to roll up in the living room carpet and pretend he's a burrito? Whatever. He knows how to roll it back out when he's done.
cappuccinosmom's Avatar cappuccinosmom
03:04 PM Liked: 163
#15 of 31
12-05-2009 | Posts: 5,447
Joined: Dec 2003
Mixed.

I don't know that there's a term for our style.

In discipline, we are authoritative (not authoritarian) but there's a good bit of grace-based-discipline in there.

In lifestyle, we are right in the middle-of-the road, not extreme on either the natural or the mainstream end.

In parenting habits, I lean towards ap with extended breastfeeding, cosleeping, babywearing, etc. But there is also gentle sleep training, they have their own beds, etc.
Litcrit's Avatar Litcrit
03:45 PM Liked: 11
#16 of 31
12-05-2009 | Posts: 212
Joined: Feb 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyGrace View Post

I'm a lazy parent. I teach The Kid to do minor tasks and let them belong to him. I take a lot of inspiration from The Gilbreths (just adapted for 1, not 12!). We only have 4 rules in our home: be safe, respectful, moral, and legal. It's an easy checklist to go through before a decision is made. I don't care about the small things or have to have everything go past me to give my ok. It's just not important. Kid wants to go play outside in 40 degree weather? Fine. He knows where his jacket is. Wants to roll up in the living room carpet and pretend he's a burrito? Whatever. He knows how to roll it back out when he's done.
Love it!
Llyra's Avatar Llyra
04:59 PM Liked: 175
#17 of 31
12-05-2009 | Posts: 9,388
Joined: Jan 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyGrace View Post
I'm......I don't know. I'd have to say full of routine, focused on independence/gradual responsibility, natural/logical consequences, and very laid back. Can that all go together? I'm trying to raise an adult.

I try to make sure the family runs smooth no matter what else is going on. It is very nice to know that wherever we are in the world, the same rules apply, the same routines happen. I try to make it the one constant thing in our lives. I know right now that with The Kid (10) two states away, he doesn't have to be told what to to. I know that when he is with family for a few hours here and there, he takes initiative and does what needs to be done before he goes off to play. It's a very nice feeling.

I'm a lazy parent. I teach The Kid to do minor tasks and let them belong to him. I take a lot of inspiration from The Gilbreths (just adapted for 1, not 12!). We only have 4 rules in our home: be safe, respectful, moral, and legal. It's an easy checklist to go through before a decision is made. I don't care about the small things or have to have everything go past me to give my ok. It's just not important. Kid wants to go play outside in 40 degree weather? Fine. He knows where his jacket is. Wants to roll up in the living room carpet and pretend he's a burrito? Whatever. He knows how to roll it back out when he's done.
This sounds a lot like me, only I have three. We're structured, with a lot of routine. Lots of freedom but also more responsibilities than many kids their age. Not particularly child-centered. Authoritative, I think, and definitely comfortable with more tradition hierarchies in the family, and with firmer boundaries between parent and child. My babies were APed, DD1 very much so, and the twins as much as I could with multiples, but we moved away from the "natural" styles as they get older, I guess, into more of a middle-of-the road approach.
Drummer's Wife's Avatar Drummer's Wife
05:10 PM Liked: 424
#18 of 31
12-05-2009 | Posts: 11,487
Joined: Jun 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by Litcrit View Post
Passive Parenting.

We're lazy. The kid learns to take initiative. She asks for more clothes if she's cold. She eats when she's hungry (as we also do) - when we sit for lunch she usually wants to eat with us. If not, she can eat later. She invents games and asks us to play - we join. She wants to read a book - we do. It started with breastfeeding on demand and sort of spread into everything.
This sounds like me (but with four kids )
MamaEli's Avatar MamaEli
02:14 PM Liked: 10
#19 of 31
12-06-2009 | Posts: 370
Joined: Mar 2007
Very middle of the road...not 100% anything. I try to give my kids lots of experiences to learn from--travel, museums, parks, etc. We love them and give lots of hugs and kisses, lots of one on one time with each. Storybooks. All physical and emotional needs are provided for. We are very involved in our church, and we try to be like Christ in our home. We also want them to be involved in their cultural background, so there is a lot of talk about that. We have rules, we have routine, we do discipine our children in many different ways. We think it's important for them to realize that the house DOES NOT revolve around them, that we are a team together but mom and dad are in charge. So, I don't know if this has a name, if anything, traditional child raising.
holyhelianthus's Avatar holyhelianthus
05:20 PM Liked: 127
#20 of 31
12-06-2009 | Posts: 8,823
Joined: Jul 2006
I use "Life-led". To me it means we have welcomed our children into our lives and life in general and are here to help them navigate life until they are ready to do so on their own. Essentially we feel we are teaching them to be independent (not islands but independent) from the get go.
sunnmama's Avatar sunnmama
05:42 PM Liked: 20
#21 of 31
12-06-2009 | Posts: 6,123
Joined: Jul 2003
It's a mix of laidback and straightforward. I'm a "big picture" parent. I'm handsoff for the little stuff, and no-nonsense about the big stuff. We use a differentiation between "kid decisions" and "parent decisions", with continually more shifting toward the "kid decision" column as they grow older.
*bejeweled*'s Avatar *bejeweled*
07:38 PM Liked: 255
#22 of 31
12-06-2009 | Posts: 4,339
Joined: Jul 2003
I try to say "yes" more than I say "no". I try to be warm and nurturing and forgiving. I try to give her all of my love and attention. I try to set clear boundaries so that she knows what to expect. I try to say "sorry" when I'm wrong.
hottmama's Avatar hottmama
08:16 PM Liked: 11
#23 of 31
12-06-2009 | Posts: 5,203
Joined: Dec 2004
I think of my parenting style as practical parenting.
I attachment parent babies because it makes sense-- it maximizes their health and minimizes their disruptiveness. I try to think of the Continuum Concept once they are mobile, with them crawling off my lap, learning to walk and climb up and down stairs, self-feeding, etc. I think children, once past toddlerhood, will live up to your expectations so I expect them to behave well in public, to have good manners, to be kind, respectful, and obedient. And if they don't live up to those expectations there are consequences so that they can do better next time. I also think of myself as a free-range mom.
holyhelianthus's Avatar holyhelianthus
10:45 PM Liked: 127
#24 of 31
12-06-2009 | Posts: 8,823
Joined: Jul 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by hottmama View Post
I think of my parenting style as practical parenting.
I attachment parent babies because it makes sense-- it maximizes their health and minimizes their disruptiveness. I try to think of the Continuum Concept once they are mobile, with them crawling off my lap, learning to walk and climb up and down stairs, self-feeding, etc. I think children, once past toddlerhood, will live up to your expectations so I expect them to behave well in public, to have good manners, to be kind, respectful, and obedient. And if they don't live up to those expectations there are consequences so that they can do better next time. I also think of myself as a free-range mom.
I like this.
prothyraia's Avatar prothyraia
11:06 PM Liked: 372
#25 of 31
12-06-2009 | Posts: 2,211
Joined: Feb 2007
Let's see...

1. Babies and children are human beings and worthy of respect.
2. Infants and small children don't realize they live in the twentyfirst century. All babies are cave-babies. What Would Cave Momma Do?
3. Say "yes" as often as you can, but when you need to set a limit, do so firmly, with confidence, and without guilt.
4. Do what is necessary to preserve your own sanity as well as your physical and emotional well being.
nwatt's Avatar nwatt
11:13 PM Liked: 12
#26 of 31
12-06-2009 | Posts: 121
Joined: Sep 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by micah_mae_ View Post
Instinctual? That's what I usually say if someone asks.
Ditto.
Drummer's Wife's Avatar Drummer's Wife
11:15 PM Liked: 424
#27 of 31
12-06-2009 | Posts: 11,487
Joined: Jun 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by prothyraia View Post
Let's see...

1. Babies and children are human beings and worthy of respect.
2. Infants and small children don't realize they live in the twentyfirst century. All babies are cave-babies. What Would Cave Momma Do?
3. Say "yes" as often as you can, but when you need to set a limit, do so firmly, with confidence, and without guilt.
4. Do what is necessary to preserve your own sanity as well as your physical and emotional well being.
I really like this.
InstinctiveMom's Avatar InstinctiveMom
11:17 PM Liked: 13
#28 of 31
12-06-2009 | Posts: 394
Joined: Jul 2004
Quote:
Let's see...

1. Babies and children are human beings and worthy of respect.
2. Infants and small children don't realize they live in the twentyfirst century. All babies are cave-babies. What Would Cave Momma Do?
3. Say "yes" as often as you can, but when you need to set a limit, do so firmly, with confidence, and without guilt.
4. Do what is necessary to preserve your own sanity as well as your physical and emotional well being.
Well said, prothyraia!

My style is much the same. I've found that it has adapted as my kids have grown. I put a lot of stock in what my instincts tell me (hence, my username). "slightly crunchy AP mama" has been my tagline for close to a decade now and I still think it is a fitting description.
2lilsweetfoxes's Avatar 2lilsweetfoxes
03:17 AM Liked: 22
#29 of 31
12-07-2009 | Posts: 1,318
Joined: Apr 2005
I'd go with "in-between": too mainstream to be crunchy and too crunchy to be mainstream. I try to take my children's desires into consideration, but DH and I have final say in all matters (DD wants to stay up until midnight. She has school tomorrow and needs to be up at 6:30 am. She needs 8-9 hours of sleep to be 'functional'. Ergo, she goes to bed no later than 9:30-10:00. End of story. No arguments. No negotiation.) We use both cloth and disposable diapers. I wear my baby and we use a stroller. We eat a mainly whole-foods gluten-free diet. But, I'm not adverse to a small amount of candy or treats...
Super_mommy's Avatar Super_mommy
03:50 AM Liked: 0
#30 of 31
12-07-2009 | Posts: 100
Joined: Nov 2009
I am a "Go with a flow" mom.

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