Is it time to call social services? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-21-2009, 12:29 AM
 
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In some states, including my own, EVERYONE is a mandated reporter. Of course, its not particularly common knowledge, and it still doesnt stop most folks from not getting involved.
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Old 12-21-2009, 12:40 AM
 
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I guess it depends on how much you really want to put yourself out for another person. It sounds like (from what the OP has said) that the little girl's family is persona non gratae any way. So would they even care or have a clue whether or not the little girl was being taken care of? In the original post the OP said the family just took off without the little girl, locked the house and left her to whatever. It was cold right? She had place to go?

Another issue is that CPS has already been over there AT LEAST once already. Wow. They are really on top of that situation aren't they?

So, yeah if it was me, she would just be part of my family. If she needed a place to go she would know to come to my house. If she was at my house and I had to leave she'd come with me, if she couldn't go back to her other house.

Like I said...it just depends on how much you really want to do for another person. If it's too much, if it puts you out beyond your capabilities then I guess you don't have another choice right?


By the way, I KNOW there are many many foster parents who are truly good.....but its seems to me that it must be the rare exception where all the abused foster children seem to turn up at.

For me it wouldn't even be a question. I'd just do it, take care of her. I guess it's probably because I have 9 children of my own....what's one more to me anyway.
So uh, what's the little girl supposed to do when it's below freezing & the OP isn't at home for some reason to take her in?

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Old 12-21-2009, 01:14 AM
 
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I'm glad to here you did call CPS....and you should be commended for looking out for this little girl in need

Ginny - single, homeschooling, cosleeping, AP, WAHM to 4 precious kidos - DS17, DS16, DD8, DS4
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Old 12-21-2009, 02:19 AM
 
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OP - I think you did the right thing by calling.
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Old 12-21-2009, 10:07 AM
 
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Did you end up calling? I didn't see an update. What was the outcome?
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Old 12-21-2009, 03:13 PM
 
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please call. Report them to CPS. A friend had a childhood like that and she's never recovered. My best friend and I are raising her children because she screwed it up so bad because she never knew what a family is supposed to be like.

Please call. It is the best you can do for this little girl. It will only get worse from here if you don't.

Kris: "auntie" to W (7yrs)  and Z (5yrs)
 
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Old 12-23-2009, 10:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by momo7 View Post
I guess it depends on how much you really want to put yourself out for another person. It sounds like (from what the OP has said) that the little girl's family is persona non gratae any way. So would they even care or have a clue whether or not the little girl was being taken care of? In the original post the OP said the family just took off without the little girl, locked the house and left her to whatever. It was cold right? She had place to go?

Another issue is that CPS has already been over there AT LEAST once already. Wow. They are really on top of that situation aren't they?

So, yeah if it was me, she would just be part of my family. If she needed a place to go she would know to come to my house. If she was at my house and I had to leave she'd come with me, if she couldn't go back to her other house.

Like I said...it just depends on how much you really want to do for another person. If it's too much, if it puts you out beyond your capabilities then I guess you don't have another choice right?


By the way, I KNOW there are many many foster parents who are truly good.....but its seems to me that it must be the rare exception where all the abused foster children seem to turn up at.

For me it wouldn't even be a question. I'd just do it, take care of her. I guess it's probably because I have 9 children of my own....what's one more to me anyway.
I wouldn't call CPS in a lot of situations where other people may; I'm all for supporting the family and helping the little girl. But the OP is not just in the position of going out of her way for this child; she is in the position of knowing the little girl may freeze to death if the OP is out of town. So if the OP is ever out shopping, at the ER, on vacation, visiting a friend, that means that the child may be locked outside in deadly temperatures - and that's not over-dramatic, cold can kill kids, especially the kind of cold the OP has described. I get supporting needy children; I used to have a neighbor kid who wandered in every day practically to our house, and she was one of the gang. But she wouldn't have died if I wasn't home, and I would never have been in the position of deciding to get medical care for my child or to break the law to take her with me. Whether or not she gets called on it, taking A anywhere without permission could potentially cause the OP a ton of trouble, especially since A's family doesn't know where she is. I wouldn't call CPS over a messy house, or a parent who didn't supervise to the levels I feel are what kids need, but there is a difference between that and risking a child's life. A repeated history of calls can also make a difference in how the case is handled; a family with a half-dozen calls from a few different neighbors about leaving a child outside in the snow might (hopefully) get a different approach than a family with one call that has no evidence to back it up.

Foster care is a broken system in a lot of ways, no doubt about it. But a call to CPS doesn't always mean foster care, and foster care can be necessary for some children.
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Old 12-23-2009, 10:22 PM
 
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I'm wondering how it's going, OP, I've been thinking about A.

-pixie, my dear, and (A-88), N-98, Littlest-06/00-08/00, J-03 & Little Miss Cotton Ball Button-03 (SN), S-05, Hope-loss 09/09, Bean-loss 04/10, and littlePopcorn due feb. 8th -11.
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Old 12-24-2009, 03:46 AM
 
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I'm wondering how it's going, OP, I've been thinking about A.
Me, too.

Has she been stopping by frequently? Have things gotten better in any way?
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Old 12-25-2009, 11:54 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Oubliette8 View Post
In some states, including my own, EVERYONE is a mandated reporter. Of course, its not particularly common knowledge, and it still doesnt stop most folks from not getting involved.
Same with my province, and I think if something happens to the kid its a reverse onus, meaning you are not innocent until proven guilty, you ARE guilty, unless you can prove you are innocent.

Im glad you made the call. Poor kid.

Decluttering 500/2010
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Old 12-26-2009, 06:00 PM
 
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I hope everything is ok with you all, lilyka. Hope to hear from you soon.

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