People who feel they "have" to intervene - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-23-2009, 10:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
mammal_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Urban Midwestern USA
Posts: 6,378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
Incidentally, the Sunday School curriculum is the Godly Play Curriculum, which was created by an Episcopal priest based on the Montessori method.

So with some of the Montessori ideas that I've been reading here, I'm wondering if she is very strongly into the Montessori method. I know the teachers go through a special training before they start teaching a class.

And it's also possible that she's a Montessori teacher in her fulltime job. I remember that she teaches at a private school but I'm not sure if it's Montessori or not.

I LOVE the Godly Play curriculum. Basically the children come together at the beginning for a Bible Story, which the teacher tells using manipulatives. Then they select what materials they want to work with during their playtime -- the manipulatives from that day's story are available for the kids to play with, plus lots of other manipulative toys and art and craft materials.

And I think there's a LOT about the Montessori method that is wonderful for my dd. I guess I can't quite get on-board with all the concern that kids need adults to explain the difference between fantasy and reality.

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
mammal_mama is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 12-23-2009, 10:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
mammal_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Urban Midwestern USA
Posts: 6,378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anglyn View Post
I don't believe it is disrespectful of the teachers boundries to call someone by their name. It boggles my mind that anyone sees it this way.
Yes. And thank you for helping me see, further up-thread, how I might have avoided turning this into a "boundary-issue" for the teacher, by simply saying, "This is Baby," and not approaching it so tentatively, as if I were asking for permission or open to compromise.

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
mammal_mama is offline  
Old 12-23-2009, 10:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
mammal_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Urban Midwestern USA
Posts: 6,378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaofthree View Post
it didn't sound at all like the teacher had an issue with comfort, it sounded like the teacher felt that the child needed to learn that she had to do what whatever adult was watching her was telling her what to do.
This is my take on it, too, especially considering the conversation she had with me where she talked about children rising to whatever expectations we have of them.

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
mammal_mama is offline  
Old 12-24-2009, 01:12 AM
 
gbailey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,450
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by gcgirl View Post
I've been thinking about this exact thing since the thread started, and I think way too often we (as individuals) are too willing to assume people know exactly what they're thinking and doing at any given moment. I know *I* don't always know my own mind right away; I like to think things over a bit before coming to a decision. It is entirely possible that the Sunday school teacher thought she could try it out and see how it went, then decide if it worked for her or not. Or maybe she thought it would be fine but became more and more uncomfortable with it.

I'm not ready to call her on sneaky tactics at this point.

Good point.
gbailey is offline  
Old 12-24-2009, 01:44 AM
 
Grace and Granola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 1,573
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am SO annoyed for you! I am just imagining how your situation would be handled at my church and I cannot see any of our teachers causing such frustration for a child and a mother. When I taught in the Pre-K room (3-5), there was a newer child who I think was 3 at the time, and when her mom brought her in, the girl got onto all fours and started crawling around. The mom, half-embarassed I'm sure, said "She likes to be a cat right now." And she proceeded to tell me that she will be a cat for hours or even a whole day. I kinda chuckled, and said, Ok! And sure enough, the little girl spent a good part of the hour crawling under the tables and around the room, when it was story time and all the children were sitting down, she continued to be a cat. Big deal! I watched to make sure she wasn't hurting herself. She wasn't terribly distracting to the children. I think if her mother told me that she wants to be called "Kitty Cat"....and say she was about to get into some trouble, I might first call her by her real name, but then remembering that she won't answer to that I would think to call "here kitty kitty kitty!!" Sure it's a little silly, but "Baby" to me is just a term of affection that I feel comfortable calling anyone under 5!

I just can't believe that people who work with preschoolers don't have some amount of understanding that kids go through stuff like this. And we are Christians for pete's sake...show a little GRACE!

OP...I wish you could come to our church or find one like ours that would welcome you and your "Baby" with open arms!

Heather-- I'm a <>< SAHM of two fabulous boys 8/05 and 2/07
Grace and Granola is offline  
Old 12-24-2009, 02:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
mammal_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Urban Midwestern USA
Posts: 6,378
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
Wow, Heather! You sound like a wonderful teacher.

I guess Kansas City's not near enough to St. Louis for us to drive out there every Sunday, LOL.

I guess the thing about people who work with preschoolers, is that we all have such different understandings about children. I worked in Early Childhood for many years before having my own family -- and I had some co-workers who thought similarly to me (and you) about these issues --

But it seems that this field also draws quite a few women who find it very rewarding to "create order out of chaos," if that makes sense ... to take a bunch of little people and within a very short time work the "magic" that has them all following directions and rising to the teacher's expectations.

I've met lots of early childhood teachers who take great pride that they were the one who got a 3yo started tying her shoes, or that they're the only one who can "control" a certain child.

So I guess it doesn't surprise me so much that someone in teaching would have her views.

And I usually got along just great with my coworkers when I worked in child care -- maybe because they weren't working their magic on MY children (since I didn't have any kids yet, LOL). So I imagine it will all work out.

I'll stay in there for as long as dd needs me. And she won't be Baby forever.

I mean, with my older dd we just talk over her experiences, with all different kinds of group leaders. And if she likes an activity enough overall, she stays in it and copes with the parts that she doesn't like so much. Or if there aren't enough positives to make up for the negatives, she doesn't go back.

And I'm sure that's how it will eventually be with my younger dd, at whatever point she's ready for that on her own timetable.

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
mammal_mama is offline  
Old 12-24-2009, 04:26 AM
 
Anglyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: state of confusion
Posts: 2,246
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
Not exactly. I could "sense" that she saw me as a mother in need of her help in learning to "be the adult" with my child. On one occasion, she rather "casually" talked to me about how important it is to expect our children to rise to our expectations. She said they really will do what we expect them to ... and though it was casual ... yeah, I could tell that she thought I was in need of some expert guidance.
Off topic I know, but this bugs me. My dd takes dance class and the first semester ds wanted to do a class too so we signed him up for gymnastics class. He loved it at first. About half way through the semester it became harder and harder to get him to stay in the class, he really wanted to be out in the waiting area just free playing with the siblings of kids who were in the class. I let them know that that after the end of that semester I would not be signing him back up. The owner, who is half my age, has no kids of his own lectured me the same way. That it's all about setting the expectation and expecting him to live up to it yadda yadda yadda. Ok...umm...he was three. Really? Why do I want to work overtime to manipulate him into doing something he doesn't want to do? Something that is costing me money? Sure, let me spend my hard earned money to force my child to do something he doesn't want to so that...what? Why? We still go there because dd LOVES it and the teachers are all great, but I admit to feeling less than warm and fuzzy about the owner, who probably thinks I'm not "firm" enough with my children. Whatever.

~Me, mama to soapbox boy (1991), photo girl (1997), gadget girl (2003), jungle boy (2005), fan boy (2003) and twirly girl (2011). Twenty years of tree hugging, breastfeeding, cosleeping, unschooling, craziness
Anglyn is offline  
Old 12-24-2009, 11:47 AM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,052
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepper44 View Post
I also don't understand why the OP's child has to be called her name of choice and be 100% respected as a child, but at the same time the DD doesn't have to respect the adults as is the cultural norm. It seems like a confusing double standard. If her DD insists on being called a pretend name that's fine, and why wouldn't she also have to call the adults ma'am and sir in return?
Where was it said that the adults requested that form of address and the OP's dd refused?
sapphire_chan is offline  
Old 12-24-2009, 02:49 PM
 
GuildJenn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 4,517
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
And I think there's a LOT about the Montessori method that is wonderful for my dd. I guess I can't quite get on-board with all the concern that kids need adults to explain the difference between fantasy and reality.
Just to let you know, at our Montessori there's no concern at all that adults have to explain the difference to kids (beyond, for example, not letting a 'dinosaur' (kid) bite his friend in the name of reptilian habits ). The kids are accepted where they are, even if they're kittens that day. It's just that the kittens have to wash their hands.

In terms of focus, I think it's more that Montessori presents the 'real' world first, as a part of the teaching. At ours they also read fairy tales and that, but the curriculum is focused on the wonder of the natural world - tadpoles changing into frogs, the solar system, and so on.

And the materials are focused on that kind of exploration rather than having castles and knights. As a PP said, the adults don't present gnomes as fact. They present caterpillars.

So although I think there can be teachers who are more rigid who happen to be Montessori teachers, I don't think it follows that she's a Montessori teacher therefore she's rigid.

~ Mum to Emily, March 12-16 2004, Noah, born Aug 2005, Liam, born January 2011, and wife to Carl since 1994. ~
GuildJenn is offline  
Old 12-24-2009, 06:27 PM
 
Grace and Granola's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 1,573
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
Wow, Heather! You sound like a wonderful teacher.

I guess Kansas City's not near enough to St. Louis for us to drive out there every Sunday, LOL.
Maybe that's the thing...I'm not a great teacher! I am a mom. Maybe the fact that your SS teacher is a professional teacher makes her feel like she has to do more than just teach the kids about God. When I'm the SS teacher, I'm just a mom sharing the love of God with my friends' kids. I have no other goal than that. I don't have any interest in teaching these kids how to tie their shoes or "fall in line." And it's not just me. Alot of our SS teachers are young women with no kids (and some are teachers!) But they don't have an agenda besides teaching the kids who God is and what to do with that knowledge.

Ugh, I'm just frustrated for you. I hope that this one person doesn't put a cloud over your church going experience. Hey--I'll pray for that!

And yes, KC would be a bit of a drive, but if you're ever in the area...

Heather-- I'm a <>< SAHM of two fabulous boys 8/05 and 2/07
Grace and Granola is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off