What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? V - Page 13 - Mothering Forums

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#361 of 1072 Old 06-28-2010, 07:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post
I often think my mom starved me... she says that I was just like my DS is, and when I nurse DS for the 4th time in an hour, she'll say something like, "Oh you fussed like that too but I knew you just ate so you couldn't be hungry," uhhhh yeah so you just didn't nurse me unless it'd been X number of hours?!?!?! I still sometimes eat 4 times an hour, I'm pretty sure I WAS hungry!! No wonder I cried so much as a baby...
I am laughing and blushing at this, b/c for the first couple of months, DS would cry and cry and we could never figure out why. I finally realized we had a pattern of saying, "He couldn't possibly be hungry -- he just ate XX minutes ago! So what the heck is he crying about?" and by the time we got around to trying feeding him, he was definitely ready to take it. It didn't take me long to stop mid-sentence ("He can't be--") and just get him fed. I do still wonder if I underfed him, and feel so bad! (We were told the same "every two to four hours" schedule, and he never finished a whole bottle at a sitting for me, so I assumed he wasn't hungry, but now I realize he just preferred smaller, more frequent feedings.)
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#362 of 1072 Old 08-31-2010, 11:27 PM
 
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I finally have new ones to share! My mom found out I was pregnant with my second and informed me that I absolutely could not have sex because my cervix would CONTRACT and I would have the baby early. Really mom? Because I thought the cervix OPENED to let the baby out. And I guess I just got lucky with my last pregnancy, since DS was born at 37 weeks and I certainly wasn't abstinent!

I spoke to a first-time mom last week who already has her induction scheduled for 38 weeks on the dot. Why? So she won't be uncomfortable at the holidays and so she'd be out of the hospital by Christmas. Not really stupid advice, but more of a "Wait - what? Seriously?" kind of thing.

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#363 of 1072 Old 08-31-2010, 11:37 PM
 
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I finally have new ones to share! My mom found out I was pregnant with my second and informed me that I absolutely could not have sex because my cervix would CONTRACT and I would have the baby early. Really mom? Because I thought the cervix OPENED to let the baby out. And I guess I just got lucky with my last pregnancy, since DS was born at 37 weeks and I certainly wasn't abstinent!
Semen can encourage dilation.

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Sex to Induce Labor

Semen contains prostaglandins. Prostaglandins cause the cervix to "ripen", or soften and prepare to open. While it is debatable whether there are enough prostaglandins in semen to have any real effect, it is not a terrible way to keep hope alive and while away the last weeks of your pregnancy. Another great side effect is the fact that orgasms produce oxytocin, the hormone that causes contractions. So, between the two, there is a pretty good case for the cure for pregnancy.
Any chance she was worried about you having preterm labor because of having your DS relatively early for a first timer?
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#364 of 1072 Old 08-31-2010, 11:38 PM
 
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I spoke to a first-time mom last week who already has her induction scheduled for 38 weeks on the dot. Why? So she won't be uncomfortable at the holidays and so she'd be out of the hospital by Christmas. Not really stupid advice, but more of a "Wait - what? Seriously?" kind of thing.
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#365 of 1072 Old 08-31-2010, 11:44 PM
 
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Semen can encourage dilation.

Any chance she was worried about you having preterm labor because of having your DS relatively early for a first timer?
Nope. She's under the impression that ANY sex at ANY time in pregnancy causes immediate labor and that's why she had a miscarriage and I was born 6 weeks early. According to her, the reason my (older) brother and (younger) sister both went to term was because she didn't have sex AT ALL while she was pregnant. (There was no real reason why I was born early - I just was. The miscarriage was very early and again was just one of those things, so it's not like she had any risk factors that would suggest she should avoid sex.)

It's scary how little she knows about pregnancy and childbirth considering she's had three kids born vaginally. Her attitude is "Just do what the doctor says and don't try to think about things too much." Most people that attitude don't come right out and say it, but she does.

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#366 of 1072 Old 09-01-2010, 12:08 AM
 
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Nope. She's under the impression that ANY sex at ANY time in pregnancy causes immediate labor and that's why she had a miscarriage and I was born 6 weeks early. According to her, the reason my (older) brother and (younger) sister both went to term was because she didn't have sex AT ALL while she was pregnant. (There was no real reason why I was born early - I just was. The miscarriage was very early and again was just one of those things, so it's not like she had any risk factors that would suggest she should avoid sex.)

It's scary how little she knows about pregnancy and childbirth considering she's had three kids born vaginally. Her attitude is "Just do what the doctor says and don't try to think about things too much." Most people that attitude don't come right out and say it, but she does.
Wow.

Guess I shouldn't be surprised after she said the cervix will "contract".

OTOH, I'm now surprised you haven't had daily updates to post to this thread!
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#367 of 1072 Old 09-02-2010, 03:12 PM
 
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There's one worker at the Starbucks we go to inside the grocery store, who always offers DS a little cup full of whipped cream, every time we're there.
No I'm not going to feed my 16 month old that much sugar, then make him sit in the cart and endure a grocery shopping trip.
around here, most starbucks make their own whipped cream and its unsweetened.

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A young woman came into my maternity store today to buy a nursing bra. I got to talking to her and asked if she had gone to any breastfeeding classes. She said, "No, my family said not to because my mom nursed her kids for a few months each, so she'd be all I need!"
i had an otherwise intelligent friend say something very similar to me. I was loaning her birth books and suggested that she find her local LLL meeting and she told me that her mom nursed 4 kids, so shed be able to help w any problems. But that she wasnt planning to have any. : i just had to look at her and remind her that i hadnt planned on having any either, yet here i was with formula and a bottle.

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#368 of 1072 Old 09-02-2010, 03:23 PM
 
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around here, most starbucks make their own whipped cream and its unsweetened.
I used to work at Starbucks... We made our own whipped cream & it contained vanilla flavoring. The vanilla flavoring is in a sugar-based syrup. I never tried it (vegan) so I don't know how sweet it actually tasted but there was definitely a lot of sugar in it...

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i had an otherwise intelligent friend say something very similar to me. I was loaning her birth books and suggested that she find her local LLL meeting and she told me that her mom nursed 4 kids, so shed be able to help w any problems. But that she wasnt planning to have any. : i just had to look at her and remind her that i hadnt planned on having any either, yet here i was with formula and a bottle.
Yeah 'cause everyone who has nursing problems PLANNED to have problems That must've been a hard for you to react so calmly & nicely!!

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#369 of 1072 Old 09-02-2010, 04:25 PM
 
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Another from this weekend: (same guy actually)

*me changing DS's diaper*
D: Is that...
Me: Cloth diapers, yep.
D: Isnt' that expensive?
DH: Well, only at first but after the initial investment...
D: Oh, you wash them???
Me and DH: *pause and look at each other* yes...


I wanted to say, "Hell no, we're rolling in money and just throw them away after each pee!"
That is so funny. We had similar comment from a turned out to be much to young and immature babysitter.
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#370 of 1072 Old 09-03-2010, 01:08 AM
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My neighbor is on a 10 day long vacation right now. When I asked her if she was excited to take her 6mo to the beach (they are going to a tropical location) she replied "Oh no, we're not bringing her with us. She'll be much happier at gramma's." Do people really do this?
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#371 of 1072 Old 09-03-2010, 01:13 AM
 
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My neighbor is on a 10 day long vacation right now. When I asked her if she was excited to take her 6mo to the beach (they are going to a tropical location) she replied "Oh no, we're not bringing her with us. She'll be much happier at gramma's." Do people really do this?
Well, I would not take my 6mo to the beach, if I could help it. Not much of a vactaion for him or me. But then again, that is why we don't take those types of vacations at this time.

When I am hoping that my DH and I will be able to go on a cruise when our WO is a year.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#372 of 1072 Old 09-03-2010, 11:35 AM
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I guess I was asking if people really leave their 6mo for 10 days at a time? That seems like so long to me. They had just left her for the weekend before too.

Yeah, I agree about the beach. I think they were headed there for another reason (family reunion or something).
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#373 of 1072 Old 09-03-2010, 11:41 AM
 
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We took DD to St. Martin when she was 4 mo..it was a great relaxing beach vacation.

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#374 of 1072 Old 09-03-2010, 12:28 PM
 
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I guess I was asking if people really leave their 6mo for 10 days at a time? That seems like so long to me. They had just left her for the weekend before too.

Yeah, I agree about the beach. I think they were headed there for another reason (family reunion or something).
Yes, my cousin left her DS when he was I think 2 months old?? For a week... and a lot of acquaintances of mine have left their infants for a week or two. I can't imagine doing that -- I still haven't left my 18mo for more than 2 hours!

We did take DS to the beach when he was 4 or 5 months old. But, we didn't spend all day lounging on the beach, we just went for an hour or two at a time with breaks in between, and we went in late Spring so it wasn't as hot yet!

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#375 of 1072 Old 09-03-2010, 12:40 PM
 
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wow, I wouldn't even leave my 14mo for 10 days! maybe if he wasn't nursing i would feel differently? lol, this morning i was trying to do some quiet reflection/meditation, and I couldn't concentrate for the life of me! I was in the living room, and DS was in the bedroom, and all I could think about was , what if something happens to him? what if a fire suddenly starts in the hallway and then I have to go grab him and jump out the window? what if he wakes up and sees the fire and starts screaming? or tries to go into it? yeah. I think me and ds need to start spending some time apart, or something, i sound like a crazy woman!

anyway, I just thought of something, I still remember it from quite a few years ago, I was a teen to preteen or something. a little girl (4yo maybe?) did something "bad" to me, maybe she bumped into me, or said something rude, anyways, it was something where her mom made her say sorry to me.

mom: "apologize"
girl: "sorry"
me: "thats ok"
mom: "NO! it is not ok!"
me(in my head): huh? ok..... what do you want me to do about it then?

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#376 of 1072 Old 09-03-2010, 12:47 PM
 
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Yeah really, what were you supposed to say?

That "Sorry/That's Okay" thing is so weird.
In our family we ended up changing to "I'm Sorry/Thank You" so the injured party feels acknowledged but doesn't have to act as if the apology makes for a clean slate, because we all know that's not the case, especially between siblings

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#377 of 1072 Old 09-03-2010, 12:51 PM
 
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Yeah really, what were you supposed to say?

That "Sorry/That's Okay" thing is so weird.
In our family we ended up changing to "I'm Sorry/Thank You" so the injured party feels acknowledged but doesn't have to act as if the apology makes for a clean slate, because we all know that's not the case, especially between siblings
:
We also use "apology accepted".

And it also helps the other way--keeps the person who made a small, accidental, error from feeling like the slighted person has decided to sulk about it.
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#378 of 1072 Old 09-03-2010, 01:29 PM
 
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When I was still feeding DD1 at 5 months, one of DH's co-workers freaked out. He said it was not normal that a mother could lactate so long, and that I needed to be taken to the ER immediately to find out what was wrong with me.

I was also told that DD1 would never learn how to walk if I didn't buy her "proper" (hard-soled) shoes.
Do people really think that humans were not bipedal until after the invention of modern shoes? That we just crawled on all fours until we discovered how to make plastic and form it into shoe soles?

Oh, and I get sooooo many comments about how I'm being "cruel" and "depriving" my kids by carrying them instead of using a stroller.

When I'm out with DD2, people make snide comments about how I'm just a "new mom" who doesn't "know better" (about CDs, babywearing, etc). Their expressions are priceless when I point I also have a 9 year old, and that this is exactly what worked perfectly for us the first time.

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#379 of 1072 Old 09-03-2010, 01:38 PM
 
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My MIL, who actually nursed her own kids, recently said "you have to wonder if he's really getting any milk when he nurses" about my nine-month-old.
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#380 of 1072 Old 09-03-2010, 02:12 PM
 
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My MIL, who actually nursed her own kids, recently said "you have to wonder if he's really getting any milk when he nurses" about my nine-month-old.
If he's popped off for a moment, you could squirt her with some milk. "Yep, I think there's still milk in there!"
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#381 of 1072 Old 09-03-2010, 02:25 PM
 
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My MIL told my DH that CPS would take our (newborn) babies away because I was nursing them and they all dropped a few ounces in the first days/week after birth.
Apparently I was starving them and stunting their growth with my evil breastmilk
BTW...my DH was terrified and even tried to get me to FF, seriously, he was a wreck.....ESPECIALLY after the (very kind) public health nurse came round for a visit, and happened to weigh them. While she nicely explained that most babies drop a bit in weight, if they're feeding ok then they'll do nothing but start gaining again. MY MIL went right to town on that one, told my DH that now 'they' have on record that the babies are failing to thrive and to expect a knock on the door at any time.
FINALLY, my mom, an RN with many years in the NICU told my DH that his mother was full of horse@#$% and to start using some common sense and STOP listening to her.
MIL has since backed off but has over the years come up with a few more 'tidbits of wisdom/doom' that she's more than happy to share with us.

She's the same one who, when we told her that we were joining our local Baptist church said "oh? You don't look like Baptists."
Whatever THAT meant!

Another time I was folding the cloth diapers in prep for DS to be born.
DH - cloth eh?
Me- Yup! Aren't they nice?
DH - Hmm, so you wash them in the machine?
Me- Yup.
Him - (Thinking, obviously distressed) I'm not sure that's a good idea...
Me- Huh?
DH- Well, what about all the fecal matter...won't that clog up the washing machine?
Me-Bahahaha!!!!(he thought we'd just strip the poopy dipes off the babe and toss them in the machine)
I thought I was going go into labor right there from laughing...Poor DH he's such a good guy, he just didn't have a clue about babies, and I could just see him calculating the cost of all the washing machines we'd inevitably go through before or child was potty trained
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#382 of 1072 Old 09-03-2010, 03:59 PM
 
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When I was still feeding DD1 at 5 months, one of DH's co-workers freaked out. He said it was not normal that a mother could lactate so long, and that I needed to be taken to the ER immediately to find out what was wrong with me.

I was also told that DD1 would never learn how to walk if I didn't buy her "proper" (hard-soled) shoes.
Do people really think that humans were not bipedal until after the invention of modern shoes? That we just crawled on all fours until we discovered how to make plastic and form it into shoe soles?

Oh, and I get sooooo many comments about how I'm being "cruel" and "depriving" my kids by carrying them instead of using a stroller.

When I'm out with DD2, people make snide comments about how I'm just a "new mom" who doesn't "know better" (about CDs, babywearing, etc). Their expressions are priceless when I point I also have a 9 year old, and that this is exactly what worked perfectly for us the first time.
ohmygoodness! you must live in a horrible town/city! i can't believe people would say those things to you!! ugh. i've only had positive responses to CDing mostly and i've actually been nagged at by some older women for having my child IN a stroller. he didn't even mind (he was about 2)!!! and i was pregnant (i did have a big sweater on), we were out walking-what did they want me to do??? just let him run free and get run over on the highway right next to the little summertime restaurant we were stopping to get food at? sheesh.
i did get some comments about feeding ds2 too often. well, i didn't get the comments-they were relayed to me later. my MIL thought i BF him too often. was i supposed to starve him??? (he nursed every 2 hours.) some people.

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#383 of 1072 Old 09-03-2010, 05:14 PM
 
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I was talking about how we don't go out much since DD was born and DH's friend looked at me completely puzzled and asked "Why can't you just leave her at home, she is sleeping?" He's not babysitting anytime soon! He was very serious and really didn't get it that you can't leave a sleeping baby home alone.

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#384 of 1072 Old 09-07-2010, 03:07 AM
 
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Yes, my cousin left her DS when he was I think 2 months old?? For a week... and a lot of acquaintances of mine have left their infants for a week or two. I can't imagine doing that -- I still haven't left my 18mo for more than 2 hours!
I know someone, almost 80 years old, who told me that when his children were 18mos and 6mos, he and his wife left them with grandparents and took a 6 month trip around the world to work on their marriage.

I can't imagine leaving my 3yo for more than a few days.

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#385 of 1072 Old 09-07-2010, 08:24 AM
 
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She's the same one who, when we told her that we were joining our local Baptist church said "oh? You don't look like Baptists."
Whatever THAT meant!
This so cracked me up. My mom says this all the time "Oh. They don't look like XYZ (baptists, mormons, gay, straight, accountant, insert whatever here)." The only thing she does not say this about is catholics, maybe because she is one and she has determined that catholics come in different shapes and sizes? Crazy.

I was at a mother-baby group a while ago and said I still didn't have my period yet. (DD was about a year). My friend gasped and said "OMG. Something is SERIOUSLY wrong with you then. You must go to your GP right away." I told her it was because of breast feeding, but she would not believe me. Of course some who BF get their periods back sooner, but I was so happy I hadn't yet.
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#386 of 1072 Old 09-07-2010, 03:17 PM
 
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Allison, I still don't have mine back yet, although my 2yo was recently weaned.

I don't really get a lot of comments anymore, like I did when he was a baby. Most of our family just accepts that we're weird, lol! We are actually doing some more 'normal' stuff right now, so that cuts out comments too.

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#387 of 1072 Old 09-07-2010, 07:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was at a mother-baby group a while ago and said I still didn't have my period yet. (DD was about a year). My friend gasped and said "OMG. Something is SERIOUSLY wrong with you then. You must go to your GP right away." I told her it was because of breast feeding, but she would not believe me. Of course some who BF get their periods back sooner, but I was so happy I hadn't yet.
this was one of my selling points for BFing. It took 6 months to get mine back...so I was without one for over a year. All of my friends thought it was so cool.

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#388 of 1072 Old 09-08-2010, 10:55 AM
 
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Originally Posted by AllisonR View Post
I was at a mother-baby group a while ago and said I still didn't have my period yet. (DD was about a year). My friend gasped and said "OMG. Something is SERIOUSLY wrong with you then. You must go to your GP right away." I told her it was because of breast feeding, but she would not believe me. Of course some who BF get their periods back sooner, but I was so happy I hadn't yet.
I had a DOCTOR tell me something was wrong with me because I haven't had a period yet. DS is only 6 months old.....it's really not that weird. For the record, I was at urgent care for a completely different issue. The doc was a wacko and said a variety of totally ridiculous things.

Amanda, wife to A , mama to D ('05), O ('07), and W ('10)
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#389 of 1072 Old 09-09-2010, 10:34 AM
 
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I can't believe this one hasn't been mentioned yet:

"If you let that baby into your bed now, they're never going to leave."

Married to one of the last good guys left Jim
Mom to AJ 4/07 and Genevieve 5/09

And then: I'm really, really tired of making angels.

But wait, could it really be true?


The whole story at: www.xerxella.blogspot.com
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#390 of 1072 Old 09-09-2010, 10:54 AM
 
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I can't believe this one hasn't been mentioned yet:

"If you let that baby into your bed now, they're never going to leave."


********
Yep we heard that one from my MIL...I said..well I suspect there won't be enough room for all of us once she is in high school. I think she will find it a bit crowded ....could have heard a pin drop after that....
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