What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? V - Page 15 - Mothering Forums

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#421 of 1072 Old 10-18-2010, 02:35 PM
 
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For some background, DS has oddly colored eyes. One is blue with just a tiny bit of brown in it, but the other one looks blue or green or hazel, depending on the lighting, the angle you're looking at him, and the color of his clothing. So the other day, we were at the store and a random woman stopped to talk to us and was trying to decide what color his eyes were:

Woman: Hm, that one's blue. But this one looks...kinda...what would you call that?
Me: I'm not really sure. It looks different depending on how you look at it.
Woman: You know, if you put some blue food coloring in it, that'll clear right up. I had to do that with my daughter when she was a baby and her eyes went from brown to blue.


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#422 of 1072 Old 10-18-2010, 02:37 PM
 
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For some background, DS has oddly colored eyes. One is blue with just a tiny bit of brown in it, but the other one looks blue or green or hazel, depending on the lighting, the angle you're looking at him, and the color of his clothing. So the other day, we were at the store and a random woman stopped to talk to us and was trying to decide what color his eyes were:

Woman: Hm, that one's blue. But this one looks...kinda...what would you call that?
Me: I'm not really sure. It looks different depending on how you look at it.
Woman: You know, if you put some blue food coloring in it, that'll clear right up. I had to do that with my daughter when she was a baby and her eyes went from brown to blue.





yeah thats all I got. What do you say to that?

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#423 of 1072 Old 10-18-2010, 02:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Woman: Hm, that one's blue. But this one looks...kinda...what would you call that?
Me: I'm not really sure. It looks different depending on how you look at it.
Woman: You know, if you put some blue food coloring in it, that'll clear right up. I had to do that with my daughter when she was a baby and her eyes went from brown to blue.

I have no words

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#424 of 1072 Old 10-18-2010, 03:35 PM
 
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For some background, DS has oddly colored eyes. One is blue with just a tiny bit of brown in it, but the other one looks blue or green or hazel, depending on the lighting, the angle you're looking at him, and the color of his clothing. So the other day, we were at the store and a random woman stopped to talk to us and was trying to decide what color his eyes were:

Woman: Hm, that one's blue. But this one looks...kinda...what would you call that?
Me: I'm not really sure. It looks different depending on how you look at it.
Woman: You know, if you put some blue food coloring in it, that'll clear right up. I had to do that with my daughter when she was a baby and her eyes went from brown to blue.

And she was serious?? Whoa.

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#425 of 1072 Old 10-18-2010, 05:38 PM
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wha? I have to think sometimes there are people who just love to say the craziest things they can think up, just to mess with people...
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#426 of 1072 Old 10-18-2010, 06:07 PM
 
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Coworker: No! You MUST start solids at 6 months. I know, I worked in a daycare!!

DH: *to me later* Yeah, because being a daycare worker means that you know everything about early childhood development...
Sigh. I worked in a daycare / preschool, too. One of the other teachers was fired and subsequently investigated for "punishing" toddlers by stomping on their feet. Obviously the mere fact of having worked in a daycare does not mean you have half a clue about children.

I once had a doctor tell me that my daughter being allergic to one of the ingredients in a vaccine was no reason not to give it to her, and he had never heard of such a thing. Scary!

For some reason another doctor we see feels the need to grill my daughter about her homeschool schedule, and tried to tell her that she needs to start school earlier in the day. Grrr. Made me really want to invite him to come over and try to get seven kids fed and dressed, and all of their chores done earlier so we can start school when *he* thinks we should!

I have had a *lot* of comments from total strangers about how many kids we have, culminating in the guy who ran the carousel at RenFaire insisting that my kids would hate me when they grow up, and refusing to accept my assurance that my kids love having so many brothers and sisters. There was also the grocery store checker who told me that if I was her daughter she'd kill me (for having four kids), and the sales clerk at a department store who said I should let my SIL "have the next one" when I tried to "defend" myself saying that my SIL had a bunch of kids, too (which is weird because ultimately SIL and I gave birth the same number of times, though not the same number of kids, and after the last one she joked that she was done and I "won." LOL.)

Once, a guy at church told me that my kids would get diabetes if I let them eat a donut. My kids eat healthy all day every day, so I really don't think one treat at church is going to kill them.

We're pretty lucky that we don't have to deal with bad advice from our friends and family. My husband's family is just as "weird" as we are, and my MIL and SIL will roll their eyes at stupid advice with me, and everyone else we know agrees with some stuff and accepts the rest.

Michelle, Christian , sahm, homeschooling , breastfeeding , no vax, blogging , photographer mom with ADD and Social Anxiety Disorder Mom to 4 boys, 3 girls.
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#427 of 1072 Old 10-19-2010, 11:47 AM
 
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My SIL (who has no children) told me she wouldn't bother breastfeeding, because formula is the same. She said that they wouldn't make it isn't the same as breastmilk. And breastmilk has too much sugar in it!
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#428 of 1072 Old 10-19-2010, 12:34 PM
 
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I have had a *lot* of comments from total strangers about how many kids we have, culminating in the guy who ran the carousel at RenFaire insisting that my kids would hate me when they grow up, and refusing to accept my assurance that my kids love having so many brothers and sisters. There was also the grocery store checker who told me that if I was her daughter she'd kill me (for having four kids), and the sales clerk at a department store who said I should let my SIL "have the next one" when I tried to "defend" myself saying that my SIL had a bunch of kids, too (which is weird because ultimately SIL and I gave birth the same number of times, though not the same number of kids, and after the last one she joked that she was done and I "won." LOL.)
When people start making comments like these about things they clearly do not understand, I nod my head and say, "Hmm, that's very interesting. . . " (with a totally uninterested expression) and go along my business.

Really, it is the only thing that keeps me from slapping them! A major pet peeve of mine is unsolicited advice from people who do not know me.
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#429 of 1072 Old 10-19-2010, 02:54 PM
 
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My SIL (who has no children) told me she wouldn't bother breastfeeding, because formula is the same. She said that they wouldn't make it isn't the same as breastmilk. And breastmilk has too much sugar in it!
Sounds like someone needs to read the history of how formula was developed. It wasn't at all done by trying to make the closest possible match to breastmilk. It was done by giving sugar syrup, and then tweaking it over generations to see what additions made for the better results.

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#430 of 1072 Old 10-28-2010, 03:59 PM
 
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oops...

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#431 of 1072 Old 10-28-2010, 04:01 PM
 
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I've seen it described here, but never heard it from anybody who really believed it:

A new mom just told me about all the projects she wished she could have done when she was pregnant, but didn't, because she couldn't raise her arms over her head.
How could anyone ever think that the position of a mom's arms could affect the umbilical cord inside???

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#432 of 1072 Old 10-28-2010, 04:23 PM
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ramlita- when I was about 3 mos pg, my mom said to me, "Be careful honey, no reaching, no bending, and no lifting." when I told her about re-arranging the kitchen cabinets.

I just said, "I didnt break my back, Mom, I'm pregnant." She said when she was pg, her doctor told her not to do any of the things listed above. weird

She also told me that one of my primary jobs as a parent was to teach my child independence. She would say this often while DD was still in utero, and still sometimes brings it up. She's right. Kids are waaay too needy. Feed yourself, A.

eta: my mom was really loving and caring as a parent, so that's why it's so surprising to hear these things! I was always very loved and showered with positive attention.... and otherwise, she is VERY smart, too. Many in her generation were of this mentality I think.

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#433 of 1072 Old 10-28-2010, 04:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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" She said when she was pg, her doctor told her not to do any of the things listed above. weird
.
Part of my discharge paperwork for a complication free vaginal birth was not to drive for 2 weeks...I didn't understand that one.

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#434 of 1072 Old 10-28-2010, 04:41 PM
 
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Part of my discharge paperwork for a complication free vaginal birth was not to drive for 2 weeks...I didn't understand that one.
Owwww just the thought of that makes me cringe. I could barely sit in a car nevermind DRIVE. Well, my vaginal birth was not entirely complication-free but I figured everyone had a lot of pain afterwards???

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#435 of 1072 Old 10-28-2010, 04:44 PM
 
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Part of my discharge paperwork for a complication free vaginal birth was not to drive for 2 weeks...I didn't understand that one.
I got this advice too from my homebirth midwife. When I kind of chuckled at her she said it's because your reflexes slow and you could get into an accident and some insurance companies actually won't pay if that happens. I don't know if it's true or not but I had a 3 year old at the time and needed to get her out of the house occasionally so I only complied for the first week or so.

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#436 of 1072 Old 10-28-2010, 04:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Owwww just the thought of that makes me cringe. I could barely sit in a car nevermind DRIVE. Well, my vaginal birth was not entirely complication-free but I figured everyone had a lot of pain afterwards???
I was sore...but not THAT sore.

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I got this advice too from my homebirth midwife. When I kind of chuckled at her she said it's because your reflexes slow and you could get into an accident and some insurance companies actually won't pay if that happens. I don't know if it's true or not but I had a 3 year old at the time and needed to get her out of the house occasionally so I only complied for the first week or so.
My mother (I was staying there at the time) took it to the extreme...like, I couldn't get behind the wheel for a month. Even supervised!

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#437 of 1072 Old 10-28-2010, 05:10 PM
 
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Funny, I was so loopy for a few weeks after each baby was born that it wasn't a good idea for me to drive- but nobody ever told me not to!

I have read that heavy lifting can be stressing on very-pregnant bodies, especially those prone to preterm labor, but... at three months?

That is what's weird about this stuff- it can come from otherwise sensible, well educated people. That mom who wouldn't hang up laundry or framed art, etc, is a psychiatrist

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#438 of 1072 Old 10-28-2010, 08:41 PM
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Part of my discharge paperwork for a complication free vaginal birth was not to drive for 2 weeks...I didn't understand that one.
Goodness. Among all the booklets and notices we got when we left the hospital was the info sheet from the physio. It included all these exercises, most of them to be done on all fours, and of course the pelvic flour exercises. And they adviced you to start doing these exercises on day 2 or 3! Unless you'd had a c-section, in which case you'd be only two weeks behind the other mothers, or something similar.

I had a vaginal birth ("normal" according to the hospital, although my midwife would say very unusual, very long and my body reacted opposite to expected to most things), with a small episiotomy to finally help baby out. I couldn't even lift my arms for 2 or 3 days, and couldn't hold DD to the breast, I needed help. It took a week before I was strong enough to walk outside the house without support, and by then I was still sitting on a rubber ring.

It took over 6 months before I could do pelvic floor exercises (which I had done all through pregnancy) without tensing every muscle from my knees to my chest. I couldn't differentiate between a full bladder and a tummy ache, and often when I bled I would think I had wet myself (which never actually happened). When I later asked my midwife about that she said that would be because of the episiotomy.
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#439 of 1072 Old 10-28-2010, 10:46 PM
 
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Part of my discharge paperwork for a complication free vaginal birth was not to drive for 2 weeks...I didn't understand that one.
I would have gone nutty. With both kids I was out the next day and driving a day or two after.

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#440 of 1072 Old 10-28-2010, 11:00 PM
 
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Part of my discharge paperwork for a complication free vaginal birth was not to drive for 2 weeks...I didn't understand that one.
They told me that too. And I told them that was impossible because my husband had to go to work the next day and I was the only person who could drive. She said "You can't drive on painkillers!" I told her "I know, I'm not going to take any painkillers so I can drive him to work just fine." She stuck her fingers in her ears and went "lalala I'm not listening." I mean what could the doctor have done? Kept me for two weeks?

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#441 of 1072 Old 10-28-2010, 11:55 PM
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Goodness. Among all the booklets and notices we got when we left the hospital was the info sheet from the physio. It included all these exercises, most of them to be done on all fours, and of course the pelvic flour exercises. And they adviced you to start doing these exercises on day 2 or 3! Unless you'd had a c-section, in which case you'd be only two weeks behind the other mothers, or something similar.

I had a vaginal birth ("normal" according to the hospital, although my midwife would say very unusual, very long and my body reacted opposite to expected to most things), with a small episiotomy to finally help baby out. I couldn't even lift my arms for 2 or 3 days, and couldn't hold DD to the breast, I needed help. It took a week before I was strong enough to walk outside the house without support, and by then I was still sitting on a rubber ring.

It took over 6 months before I could do pelvic floor exercises (which I had done all through pregnancy) without tensing every muscle from my knees to my chest. I couldn't differentiate between a full bladder and a tummy ache, and often when I bled I would think I had wet myself (which never actually happened). When I later asked my midwife about that she said that would be because of the episiotomy.
I had a decent episiotomy (wouldn't say I really agreed to it ) and I had some similar problems. I had a lot of pain right at the site for a long time too and I was really worried for a while that DTD would never be normal again.

I could barely move for a few days after DS's birth. I don't think it was just that though - I also had an epi at the last second (wouldn't have if I'd known it was the last second ) and had to push on my back. I think with an epidural, you have no idea what you're pushing on, so you just use every muscle in your whole body to do it. I don't know if it was the 10 hours of transition or the pushing with all my might against everything that caused me so much pain, but good grief...

So glad it turned out better the next time. I delivered DD on a birthing stool and had a teeny tiny tear that barely needed one stitch. I was driving and doing pretty much everything within a few days.

No one told me not to drive either.
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#442 of 1072 Old 10-29-2010, 12:04 AM
 
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The lady who did my dd's heel prick test told me "don't spoil her too much!" when I wouldn't put my screaming day old baby back into the plastic hospital bassinet and wheel her back to my room and preffered to carry her in my arms so I could comfort her. Oh, and she also assured me that all babies cry for the heel prick...not just mine...ya think?

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#443 of 1072 Old 10-29-2010, 12:14 AM
 
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I was essentially told, not in these exact words, to ignore the fact that my son was advanced and that I base too much on it . I was really offended. I was just talking about the things I've noticed him do and how it bothered me that my family compared a cousins child to mine. Obviously I am proud of him, but I'd be proud of him regardless of it and for the most part I don't notice it unless he's around a lot of other kids his age.

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#444 of 1072 Old 10-29-2010, 10:23 AM
 
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The lady who did my dd's heel prick test told me "don't spoil her too much!" when I wouldn't put my screaming day old baby back into the plastic hospital bassinet and wheel her back to my room and preffered to carry her in my arms so I could comfort her.
The hospital I delivered at (for which I have a mile-long list of grievances) had a rule that no one -- moms/dads, staff, etc. -- was allowed to walk carrying a baby in the hallways. You had to push them in the plastic carts. They said the floors were slippery and you might trip & drop the baby.

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#445 of 1072 Old 10-29-2010, 10:58 AM
 
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The hospital I delivered at (for which I have a mile-long list of grievances) had a rule that no one -- moms/dads, staff, etc. -- was allowed to walk carrying a baby in the hallways. You had to push them in the plastic carts. They said the floors were slippery and you might trip & drop the baby.
My hospital had the same rule, but they said it was because that way they knew something weird was going on if someone was carrying a baby. It was a security thing. I still thought it was .

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#446 of 1072 Old 10-29-2010, 11:05 AM
 
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My hospital had the same rule, but they said it was because that way they knew something weird was going on if someone was carrying a baby. It was a security thing. I still thought it was .

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#447 of 1072 Old 10-29-2010, 11:30 AM
 
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Ok, this one just happened on another forum, which has since convinced me not to go there anymore....

I was mentioning that I was a non-punitive parent, it was pertinent to the question I was asking. So someone asked what that meant and I explained that it means I don't use punishments, such as spanking and time-outs. That I use natural and logical consequences, nothing punitive.

A lady responded and said, "I can't believe that you would say that time-outs are punitive, how rude"

???????? ummm I was actually concerned that there was another meaning to punitive I wasn't aware of and went to the dictionary to double check. Yeah, ummm, punitive, "serving for, concerned with, inflicting punishment". So if a time-out is a punishment it's punitive. I told her that, and she was still thoroughly offended that I considered her punishment to be punitive.

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#448 of 1072 Old 10-29-2010, 11:57 AM
 
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Just remembered another one. DD was having a complete meltdown in a store and it got bad enough I had to restrain her. A guy walking by stopped and stared, I just (well tried to be polite) told him that she is autistic. He said, "maybe if you spanked her she wouldn't be".

Ummmm, HUH!!

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#449 of 1072 Old 10-29-2010, 12:21 PM
 
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I had a hospital birth and was never told not to drive. Huh. Even after major abdominal surgery the surgeon "recommended" not driving for 6 weeks but realized that the majority of their patients were driving after 2 weeks (wink wink, nudge nudge).

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#450 of 1072 Old 10-29-2010, 12:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post
The hospital I delivered at (for which I have a mile-long list of grievances) had a rule that no one -- moms/dads, staff, etc. -- was allowed to walk carrying a baby in the hallways. You had to push them in the plastic carts. They said the floors were slippery and you might trip & drop the baby.
The hospital here has that rule also. I think it's one of the (but not the) stupidest rules they have. Although, I guess if someone was trying to steal the baby they wouldn't be able to get away as quickly if they were pushing rather than carrying. Of course, mom and dad/baby have bracelets and they only deliver about one baby per day so I think they'd know if the adult didn't belong to the baby.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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