What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? V - Page 19 - Mothering Forums

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#541 of 1072 Old 12-10-2010, 03:53 PM
 
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They also believe that letting him play with dolls or show emotions or breastfeed past x number of weeks/months will turn him gay. The last one really confuses me, because we all know the one thing gay men love is breasts.


Maybe people think if baby boys breastfeed for too long they are sick of breasts and that's why they are gay...


DS wasn't BF'ed (adopted @ a bit over 1), our theory is that he didn't get enough boob and he never learned to like it eyesroll.gif

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#542 of 1072 Old 12-10-2010, 08:05 PM
 
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They also believe that letting him play with dolls or show emotions or breastfeed past x number of weeks/months will turn him gay. The last one really confuses me, because we all know the one thing gay men love is breasts.


Maybe people think if baby boys breastfeed for too long they are sick of breasts and that's why they are gay...



Anytime I've heard someone bring it up, the reasoning was that the boys get too attached to the breast and that is why they are gay.

 

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They also believe that letting him play with dolls or show emotions or breastfeed past x number of weeks/months will turn him gay. The last one really confuses me, because we all know the one thing gay men love is breasts.


Maybe people think if baby boys breastfeed for too long they are sick of breasts and that's why they are gay...


DS wasn't BF'ed (adopted @ a bit over 1), our theory is that he didn't get enough boob and he never learned to like it eyesroll.gif


Well I was BF exclusively for a year and I still don't like boobs. So there goes that theory. orngtongue.gif


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#543 of 1072 Old 12-15-2010, 08:57 PM
 
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A friend's mom shared the WORST breastfeeding advice EVER with me. Apparently, someone told her that she should toughen her nipples in preparation for bfing . . . . by rubbing them with STEEL WOOL!!!!!! And she did. Poor lady. (she was not, of course, suggesting I do this)
 


My OB actually suggested this to me. I thought it was the dumbest thing I had ever heard. And it was the reason why I found my midwives. That, and telling me I shouldn't bother trying for natural birth because "no one can" and then they "just beg." So point of fact, I begged for a epidural with my first and thank god because it let me have a vaginal birth due to the circumstances. He would have given an unnecessary c-section. And point of fact, I birthed my own baby by myself the second time around.

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#544 of 1072 Old 12-15-2010, 09:02 PM
 
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I know someone that that happened to... she didn't nurse for a year, though- maybe 8 months? She had not so much boobs before, and seriously practically no boobs after- like, did NOT need to wear a bra, ever. I dropped a cup size from my pre-baby size after I weaned my first. They plumped back up, though, eventually. Then I got pregnant again, and we're back on the rollercoaster.
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I was small-busted to begin with, but I definitely got smaller after having children. I used to joke that it was why I stopped at two kids....so my chest wouldn't become concave.
Lucky you. I went up to an F/EE when I was pregnant/nursing and am still a cup size bigger than I was pre-pregnant (14 years after my last baby).

 

I am about half a size smaller than I was before kids, although sadly deflated, but my sister is still FIVE SIZES bigger. She is the only person I've ever heard of who could nurse a baby *while they were in the co-sleeper*  No wonder she loved that thing.

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#545 of 1072 Old 12-15-2010, 09:29 PM
 
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I am about half a size smaller than I was before kids, although sadly deflated, but my sister is still FIVE SIZES bigger. She is the only person I've ever heard of who could nurse a baby *while they were in the co-sleeper*  No wonder she loved that thing.

Oh dear! I went from a C to G (I looked like a cartoon amazon from space -ouch!) and have now shrunk back to F. While they are plenty big enough to feed LO from either breast without turning over, I dont think they'd reach a co-sleeper. I really hope I'll go back to a C!


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#546 of 1072 Old 12-16-2010, 05:18 PM
 
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I am about half a size smaller than I was before kids, although sadly deflated, but my sister is still FIVE SIZES bigger. She is the only person I've ever heard of who could nurse a baby *while they were in the co-sleeper*  No wonder she loved that thing.

Oh dear! I went from a C to G (I looked like a cartoon amazon from space -ouch!) and have now shrunk back to F. While they are plenty big enough to feed LO from either breast without turning over, I dont think they'd reach a co-sleeper. I really hope I'll go back to a C!


I have this same problem.  I went from a nice D to an F with dd1 and am now an I!  I didn't even know that size existed.  I am nursing dd2 and have been continually nursing for almost 3 1/2 years.  I plan on having plenty more kids and CLWing all of them, so it will be close to 10 years before I know if I will ever shrink back.  I was told I will get smaller, but we will see.  Seems like I keep getting bigger.


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#547 of 1072 Old 12-16-2010, 05:26 PM
 
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My ex MIL, upon hearing that I was going to breastfeed DS1, replied "Um, isn't that a little...white trashy?"  No joke.  She said it.  I was there. 

 

My current MIL, though she is very supportive of breastfeeding, asked (when DS 2 was about 6 months and was still EBF) whether he needed to be on a diet since he was in the 95% for weight.


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#548 of 1072 Old 12-16-2010, 05:53 PM
 
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My ex MIL, upon hearing that I was going to breastfeed, replied "Um, isn't that a little...white trashy?"  No joke.  She said it.  I was there.


That reminds me of my grandmother. When my brother was born and my mom was nursing him, she told my mom that "only poor people and "n-words" do that." She's a real winner. She also told me, at my babyshower that I would have to spank my son "because you have to hit boys." 

 


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#549 of 1072 Old 12-16-2010, 06:27 PM
 
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My ex MIL, upon hearing that I was going to breastfeed, replied "Um, isn't that a little...white trashy?"  No joke.  She said it.  I was there.


"Well I guess I better get me some daisy dukes and a trailer then."


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#550 of 1072 Old 12-16-2010, 07:20 PM
 
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When my son was at his first doctor's visit (2 weeks or 1 month, I cant remember) his doctor told me that I need to give him a vitamin D supplement. I asked her how much sun would be ok for him to be exposed to for the vitamin d instead. She told me that they can't recommend any sun for babies. Not 5 minutes later she told me that he had yeast in his diaper rash & I should use anti-fungal cream. I asked what else we could do for it. She told me to put his butt in the sunlight for 5-10 minutes a few times a day! I narrowed my eyes & she got all flustered. His bottom cleared up quickly & we never gave him any extra vitamin d. This same doc was totally surprised that 3 years later my son had never had antibiotics or shots. YEAH, because we avoid going to see her!


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#551 of 1072 Old 12-16-2010, 10:30 PM
 
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My mother used to always say "if you let them (the kids) sleep in your bed, they will never leave.". Finally, I said "at least we won't have to worry about premarital sex. That would be pretty hard to pull off with us RIGHT THERE." She hasn't said a word since.

My DD (4) rarely sleeps through the night. One of my friends asked if I couldn't take some ambien and pass it through my milk to her so we could both get a good nights sleep. Drugged sleep for a mama of two small, wakeful kids? Seriously? I think she figured my milk would drug them both into dreamland.

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#552 of 1072 Old 12-16-2010, 10:47 PM
 
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My mother used to always say "if you let them (the kids) sleep in your bed, they will never leave.". Finally, I said "at least we won't have to worry about premarital sex. That would be pretty hard to pull off with us RIGHT THERE." She hasn't said a word since.
 

ROTFLMAO.gif!!!!

 

On another note . . . . What is this business about getting your sleeping baby used to loud noise? Whenever I bring up the fact that DD is a light sleeper, someone inevitably makes some comment about how *I* have made her this way. One friend even told me, "Oh, we made sure to bring a dang marching band down the hallway whenever we put the twins to sleep." Um, that wasn't very nice of you.

 

Seriously, it seems to me that if one makes noise near a sleeping infant, they will either wake, or not. I don't have any control over this. If I make a lot of noise near a light sleeper, she is going to wake up more, not less. Maybe I'm wrong.


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#553 of 1072 Old 12-17-2010, 08:49 AM
 
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Yeah, a lot of people seem convinced that their kids became heavier sleepers because they made noise around them.  


Leigh, mama to Rostislav homeborn Aug 9 2007, and Oksana homeborn Feb 24 2011.
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#554 of 1072 Old 12-17-2010, 10:10 AM
 
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Dh has a coworker who trained their kids to wake at the slightest noise (by being abnormally quiet) that he no longer showers at home, as it will waken the kids. Don't tell me that's the kid, it's the parent! We never crept around the kids, and they can sleep through a lot, always could. I don't attribute it ALL to luck.
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#555 of 1072 Old 12-17-2010, 10:59 AM
 
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Technically, babies are BORN used to loud noise. The noise in the womb is very loud - I think it's supposed to be louder than a vacuum cleaner at close range - and babies under three months have naturally "clogged up" ears so they don't get deafened. So even a fairly quiet room probably sounds like a deathly hush to them. That's why a lot of fussy babies calm down if you put loud noise near them - a vacuum, static, the car engine etc. (This is all from The Happiest Baby on the Block, if it sounds familiar!).

 

So I don't know how that theory ties in with your DD, but them's the facts I know. :p I always did try not to creep around silently when DD was sleeping, because I didn't want to get her acclimatised to a deathly hush (plus, background noise is supposed to help guard against SIDS). And to this day she sleeps better with music quietly playing in another room. But honestly, she's gone through periods of being a light sleeper and periods of being a heavy sleeper, and I have no idea why.


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#556 of 1072 Old 12-17-2010, 12:06 PM
 
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Did you ever read the first part of Sleepless In America where she talks about the couple trying to put the baby to sleep, and after hours of effort it finally does go to sleep, and then a tiny noise happens and it jerks awake screaming inconsolably?  That was my kid.  It comes from being so tense and not being able to relax.  Fight or flight.  Every sound is interpreted as a threat.  It took a long time and a lot of work to help him learn to relax so he wouldn't be on edge all the time.

 

I don't know if he was born super tense, or if it was the result of some trauma in his early days.  (He had tongue-tie so badly that he couldn't transfer milk until he had surgery at 5 days old.  It took us almost 3 days to figure out what was going on, so he was basically starving for that time.)  But I am sure that not every baby has such an intense personality that it is so hard to wind down.  When he was little, if he would laugh for a minute at something, it would take him over 3 hours of rocking and shushing to get him to be calm again.  

 

Now, at 3, he is amazingly laid back.  He has better skills at recovering from emotion than any of the adults in the family.  I guess it was all that work to build and strengthen the soothing pathways in his brain.  He has language delays, so there is often frustration (about not being able to communicate), or shock (at events we tried to explain to him but he didn't grasp) or other things that you would expect to trigger a bit of a melt down, but he bounces back so well I am in awe.  

 

The moral of the story is, comfort your jumpy babies!  It really does work!


Leigh, mama to Rostislav homeborn Aug 9 2007, and Oksana homeborn Feb 24 2011.
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#557 of 1072 Old 12-17-2010, 01:01 PM
 
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Very interesting . . . . DD also had feeding issues, and basically starved (unknown to us, first time mama) for her first two-three days. She actually cried herself hoarse before we figured out what was going on. I've always felt that her jumpiness/fussiness/neediness is at least partially due to the failure to meet her needs in those first few days.

 

As far as tiptoeing around the baby, I can see where this might become an issue and that totally can influence the child's need for quiet to sleep. DD actually can sleep through just about anything when being worn or held, but she startles soooooo easily when she's laying on her own and there's just no way to avoid it.
 

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I don't know if he was born super tense, or if it was the result of some trauma in his early days.  (He had tongue-tie so badly that he couldn't transfer milk until he had surgery at 5 days old.  It took us almost 3 days to figure out what was going on, so he was basically starving for that time.)  But I am sure that not every baby has such an intense personality that it is so hard to wind down.  When he was little, if he would laugh for a minute at something, it would take him over 3 hours of rocking and shushing to get him to be calm again.  


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#558 of 1072 Old 12-18-2010, 10:48 AM
 
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My mother used to always say "if you let them (the kids) sleep in your bed, they will never leave.". Finally, I said "at least we won't have to worry about premarital sex. That would be pretty hard to pull off with us RIGHT THERE." She hasn't said a word since.


 

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#559 of 1072 Old 12-19-2010, 07:25 PM
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Dh has a coworker who trained their kids to wake at the slightest noise (by being abnormally quiet) that he no longer showers at home, as it will waken the kids. Don't tell me that's the kid, it's the parent! We never crept around the kids, and they can sleep through a lot, always could. I don't attribute it ALL to luck.

Honestly? I have worked with children for years, and I had planned to have DD sleeping in the room I was with all the noise and light of everyday life. But I was blessed with a very sensitive little soul, and I have to say we've probably spent nearly half of her soon 3 years trying to get her to sleep/back to sleep/stay asleep. Long walks in the push chair when I was too sick or tired to really do it, having to lie next to her all night (until recently, a few months after her 2nd bday, she'd wake up within 10 min if she was sleeping alone), constant movement if she's sleeping in the mei tai, music playing constantly if she's sleeping at home in daytime, turning off sound on telephone - because any ringing, or an aeroplane going by, flying low (we live on a flight route) or someone knocking will wake her - and woke her at 3 days as well as nearly 3 years. There's nothing I can do about aeroplanes or helicopters, and she's not coping any better with them, I still have to fight to get her back to sleep again, which probably won't work anyway.

Since soon after her second bday she does sleep better, but she is still very sensitive to sounds. I very much resent that this should be something we caused. All we did was survive, and try to provide what our baby desperately needed - sleep (by 3 months DD slept 8-12 hours total in 24, and this didn't increase until she was nearly 9 months old).

Besides, I don't think that it is that kids get conditioned to uber-quiet sleep environments. I think that the sensitive babies, who struggle with sleep, are just too "awake" or "aware"of everything around them. DD needs music to sleep to, music that is quite even. As long as the music is the same, with no sudden-ness anywhere, she can sleep fine to many sorts of music. It is the sudden sounds that penetrate, and will wake her. The music often helps with the aeroplanes and other outside sounds, it keeps it all out. It also helps me nowadays. I can move around quietly, and opening a door or something probably won't wake her. Forget about the dishes or even starting the tap. Although thanks to bathroom and bedroom not being wall to wall we can now shower while she sleeps at night (as she sleeps better on her own now). Intimacy for DH and me just wasn't possible (we certainly tried!) in the first oh, 9 months or more. In the same room she'd just wake, sort of sensing we were awake, no matter how quiet, and if I left her side and we went to the other room, she woke within 10 min.

We didn't choose to live this way, but we chose to AP, and this is how our child needs (and needed from the beginning) to be parented.
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#560 of 1072 Old 12-19-2010, 08:45 PM
 
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Honestly? I have worked with children for years, and I had planned to have DD sleeping in the room I was with all the noise and light of everyday life. But I was blessed with a very sensitive little soul, and I have to say we've probably spent nearly half of her soon 3 years
Plus side, now that she's nearly 3, you can start experimenting with stuff like headphones and earplugs.
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#561 of 1072 Old 12-19-2010, 10:24 PM
 
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We didn't choose to live this way, but we chose to AP, and this is how our child needs (and needed from the beginning) to be parented.


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#562 of 1072 Old 12-20-2010, 04:40 AM
 
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I think it's the kid, not the parent, when it comes to heavy sleepers / light sleepers.  We've never been able to really "tip toe" around either of the babies, and one sleeps through anything while the other wakes up constantly at loud sounds.


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#563 of 1072 Old 12-28-2010, 11:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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From my mother about my planned homebirth: (We're moving into a house with an awesome bathtub that I plan on using) "Make sure you get a mat for the bottom of the tub! You don't want the baby to conk his head on the way out!"

 

She's said it more than once so she's serious AND it's important to her...


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#564 of 1072 Old 12-28-2010, 12:01 PM
 
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I got the crying is good for their lungs thing over Christmas- I said, "Oh, like bleeding is good for the veins?"  Also the he's spoiled because we pick him up when he wants us. I said, "Food spoils, babies don't!" My family is pretty good about natural/ AP but sometimes...


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#565 of 1072 Old 12-28-2010, 12:12 PM
 
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My 3 year old bit a 10 year old while wresting.  I talked to my son about biting and told him that if he continued to bite we would leave.  My parenting/discipline philosophy must not have been enough.  My friend told me that she did not feel as if my methods were adequate because my son failed to cry.  She thought that he needed to show discomfort or remorse.

 

 

Riiiiight.


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#566 of 1072 Old 12-28-2010, 03:13 PM
 
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I got the crying is good for their lungs thing over Christmas- I said, "Oh, like bleeding is good for the veins?" 

LOL that is a great response!
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#567 of 1072 Old 12-28-2010, 03:24 PM
 
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I got the crying is good for their lungs thing over Christmas- I said, "Oh, like bleeding is good for the veins?"  ...



 

 SO using this. lol. Awesome.



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My 3 year old bit a 10 year old while wresting.  I talked to my son about biting and told him that if he continued to bite we would leave.  My parenting/discipline philosophy must not have been enough.  My friend told me that she did not feel as if my methods were adequate because my son failed to cry.  She thought that he needed to show discomfort or remorse.

 

 

Riiiiight.



Oh dear. That makes me sad. Does she have kids? I supose they'd be crying all day...


Mom to angel baby, grew wings at 5 weeks in May '07, William, born Dec '08, and another angel who grew wings at 8w4d (lost at 11w) in Oct '10. Rachel born Feb 2012, Another angel Lost Sept '13. New bean due Nov '14!
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#568 of 1072 Old 12-28-2010, 03:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by goinggreengirl View Post
 "Oh, like bleeding is good for the veins?" 


lol.gif ^

 

Here's a good one: I had a PT appointment to get to, one I had already canceled that week and really could not be  late for, but DD was still napping. I was really reticent to wake her from her nap, because I hate and generally avoid having to do that and BIL (who I really really like, to be fair) goes, "Oh, don't worry  about it! It's good for her!"

 

What? How? Huh?


L, student nurse and married to A, my union man. Happy parents to little S!   joy.gif

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#569 of 1072 Old 12-28-2010, 03:46 PM
 
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OMG this just happened like right now!

 

My 6 year old had a spider bite on his neck.   We are in PA so it is bitterly cold here, and the kids were playing in our semi-finished basement for HOURS so I'm not exactly surprised, nor am I really worried.  He does get really itchy in the summer from any sort of bug bite, so I gave him some benedryl and put a band aid over it to keep him from scratching it too much and getting a scab.  The bump is maybe the size of a nickle with two tiny holes and he's in a good mood and fully normal seeming except for being itchy.

 

I mention this to my mom since she happened to call right after I sent him on his way, and she says "Ugh, make sure you spray down the house, that's terrible!" 

 

Having grown up in PA, it's not terribly abnormal to see a spider indoors in the winter, so I asked why, since it's just a spider, and she continued:

 

MOM: "Those can be dangerous!  You don't want bugs biting he kids!  Just get some bug bombs and leave the house for the day." 

 

ME:  "Are you serious?  Do you really think it's worth soaking my kid's play area in insecticides to possibly kill a few spiders, when all their spider buddies will just wait out the poisen clouds in the walls anyway?"

 

MOM:  "Well you don't know what kind of spider it was!"

 

ME:  "I know it's the kind that leaves a mosquito sized bite that itches a little, and not one of the really bad ones that can't live in this climate anyway.  It's not like house spiders are more dangerous now than they were when I was a kid, and I saw spiders in the house all the time growing up.  Did you ever fog bomb just for spiders?"

 

MOM:  "No, but they weren't attacking my children!  You can't keep letting those babies get all bit up!"

 

ME:  "Well I think one indoor winter spider bite in his entire 6 years of his life isn't exactly a declaration of spider war.  How about you go on-line and forward me some information on the danger of house spider bites vs. the chemicals in fog bombers and then we'll talk."

 

MOM:  "You know what?  That's fine.  I'm SO SORRY about having some kind of concern for my grandchildren.  I guess I'll just keep everything to myself from now on!  I just don't like to think about my poor little grand babies being all bit up in their own home!"   

 

ME:  *sigh*  "OK Mom"  eyesroll.gif

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#570 of 1072 Old 12-28-2010, 05:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post

From my mother about my planned homebirth: (We're moving into a house with an awesome bathtub that I plan on using) "Make sure you get a mat for the bottom of the tub! You don't want the baby to conk his head on the way out!"

 

She's said it more than once so she's serious AND it's important to her...


Well, a mat would be nice and cushy for your knees.  lol.gif

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