What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? V - Page 21 - Mothering Forums
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#601 of 1072 Old 01-06-2011, 06:31 AM
 
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And back on topic, my MIL told me that it's anti-feminist of me not to circumcise my baby,


 

My brains are in pain.... Isn't the point of feminism equality? Like, evidently I am a feminist because I don't think men are better just for being men. soooo logically, if you circ your boys for the sake of cervixes, you should circ your girls too? But female circ is for sure not feministic, so, have I created a paradox?

 

That should be the test of parenting advice, does it create a paradox? yes=crappy advice


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#602 of 1072 Old 01-06-2011, 07:15 AM
 
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And besides, Who is a stranger to tell me how many kids I want???  I get those comments all the time when people find out I want a big family.  And perfect strangers say things like that in front of my kids!  How rude! 

 Absolutely.

 

I forgot the worst of those types of comments.  It was so long ago, before I even had kids.  I babysat for a mom with triplets, and we were chatting and I mentioned my hope for a large family.  She discouraged me strongly, saying "Well, now, you don't want to become like Andrea Yates, do you?".

 

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#603 of 1072 Old 01-06-2011, 02:57 PM
 
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Um, yeah, trans fats are fine for younger people, because everyone knows until you hit 30 your youthful stomach acid magically turns anything you eat into organic, grass-fed unicorn meat and rainbows, the healthiest things in the universe!


THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD!!!!!! ROTFLMAO.gif


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#604 of 1072 Old 02-03-2011, 04:59 AM
 
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Overheard at the mall recently: "She has to have a C-section. Her pelvis is too small. Her first baby went into distress and that's how they know that her pelvis is way too small, even though the baby was only 6 pounds!"


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#605 of 1072 Old 02-03-2011, 07:23 AM
 
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My baby likes to grunt when he stretches, sometimes he sounds like a grown man.

My MIL insisted that it's not normal and said that we should feed him a raw egg to "cure him". jaw2.gif

When I gave birth she came to visit me at the hospital and saw me brush my hair. She screamed at me "It's bad to brush your hair if you want to breastfeed!" yikes2.gif


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#606 of 1072 Old 02-03-2011, 09:44 AM
 
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Wow, those two take the cake for making the least sense!!  :scratch

 

She's otherwise, um, sensible?!?


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#607 of 1072 Old 02-04-2011, 04:13 AM
 
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This is not specifically a parenting thing but a pregnancy thing. About a month ago, I stretched my arms out at work and a colleague started yelling at me that I shouldn't do that while pregnant because the baby might flip. I'm still scratching my head over that - the baby is constantly moving in there anyway! I was 18 weeks pregnant then, so it's not like I was about to give birth or something.

 

Do people just hear random things and then parrot them without actually stopping to consider whether they make sense?


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#608 of 1072 Old 02-04-2011, 06:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Do people just hear random things and then parrot them without actually stopping to consider whether they make sense?



She was probably told it from her mother...who was told it from HER mother...who was told it from HER mother...etc


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#609 of 1072 Old 02-04-2011, 08:12 AM
 
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I don't know if I already posted this, BUT, a pediatrician told me (remember, doctors do not have any training in parenting or child development, but love to give parenting advice, that advice is just their opinion, not a professional one) to move the baby's crib in to the closet or bathroom (I told her his crib was in our room and we did not have a different room for him) and to shut the door and refuse to go to him no matter how much he cries, for 8 hrs. Show him who the boss is!! Uugghhh...horrified that some innocent parent who does not know better may have gotten her parenting advice at some point and followed it.

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#610 of 1072 Old 02-04-2011, 10:21 AM
 
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I don't know if I already posted this, BUT, a pediatrician told me (remember, doctors do not have any training in parenting or child development, but love to give parenting advice, that advice is just their opinion, not a professional one) to move the baby's crib in to the closet or bathroom (I told her his crib was in our room and we did not have a different room for him) and to shut the door and refuse to go to him no matter how much he cries, for 8 hrs. Show him who the boss is!! Uugghhh...horrified that some innocent parent who does not know better may have gotten her parenting advice at some point and followed it.


Yes, our former pediatrician told us that the solution to DS's incredibly frequent feeding at 6 weeks old was to let him cry for an hour between nursing sessions. greensad.gif And we sort of believed him... Obviously we didn't just let him cry but we spent almost a week trying to get him to go this magical 'hour between nursing sessions' before we realized it really wasn't a good solution. duh.gif I still have regrets over trying to follow that 'advice' to some extent. What I NEEDED to hear from him was that nursing as frequently as my DS nursed could actually be normal (even if it's not necessarily common, at least not in the US)... mecry.gif

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#611 of 1072 Old 02-04-2011, 01:41 PM
 
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Yes, our former pediatrician told us that the solution to DS's incredibly frequent feeding at 6 weeks old was to let him cry for an hour between nursing sessions. greensad.gif And we sort of believed him... Obviously we didn't just let him cry but we spent almost a week trying to get him to go this magical 'hour between nursing sessions' before we realized it really wasn't a good solution. duh.gif I still have regrets over trying to follow that 'advice' to some extent. What I NEEDED to hear from him was that nursing as frequently as my DS nursed could actually be normal (even if it's not necessarily common, at least not in the US)... mecry.gif


hug.gif Those types of regrets are hard on the heart!


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#612 of 1072 Old 02-04-2011, 04:55 PM
 
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Visiting a friend in L & D the other day, the PP nurse came in to check on how nursing was going and told the mom that she would most likely need to give a bottle if her milk didn't come in within the day (she gave birth at 10:30 a.m. and it was 2 p.m.) because colostrum wouldn't be enough for her tiny baby (he was 6 lbs even.)

 

 

The worst part for me was after the nurse left and I tried to tell my friend what a pile of B.S. that was, her DH said "these people have degrees in medicine, you don't."

 


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#613 of 1072 Old 02-05-2011, 01:07 PM
 
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Visiting a friend in L & D the other day, the PP nurse came in to check on how nursing was going and told the mom that she would most likely need to give a bottle if her milk didn't come in within the day (she gave birth at 10:30 a.m. and it was 2 p.m.) because colostrum wouldn't be enough for her tiny baby (he was 6 lbs even.)

 

 

The worst part for me was after the nurse left and I tried to tell my friend what a pile of B.S. that was, her DH said "these people have degrees in medicine, you don't."

 


"Does that mean they're allowed to LIE to new mothers? That nurse might have a degree in medicine, but it's obvious she slept through her class on lactation--IF she even took one. Would you let a podiatrist give you heart surgery? That's what you're doing to your baby when you take breastfeeding advice from anyone but an international board certified lactation consultant. Personally, I prefer to consult EXPERTS."

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#614 of 1072 Old 02-05-2011, 01:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post

Yes, our former pediatrician told us that the solution to DS's incredibly frequent feeding at 6 weeks old was to let him cry for an hour between nursing sessions. greensad.gif And we sort of believed him... Obviously we didn't just let him cry but we spent almost a week trying to get him to go this magical 'hour between nursing sessions' before we realized it really wasn't a good solution. duh.gif I still have regrets over trying to follow that 'advice' to some extent. What I NEEDED to hear from him was that nursing as frequently as my DS nursed could actually be normal (even if it's not necessarily common, at least not in the US)... mecry.gif


hug.gif Those types of regrets are hard on the heart!



 



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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa1970 View Post

I don't know if I already posted this, BUT, a pediatrician told me (remember, doctors do not have any training in parenting or child development, but love to give parenting advice, that advice is just their opinion, not a professional one) to move the baby's crib in to the closet or bathroom (I told her his crib was in our room and we did not have a different room for him) and to shut the door and refuse to go to him no matter how much he cries, for 8 hrs. Show him who the boss is!! Uugghhh...horrified that some innocent parent who does not know better may have gotten her parenting advice at some point and followed it.




Yes, our former pediatrician told us that the solution to DS's incredibly frequent feeding at 6 weeks old was to let him cry for an hour between nursing sessions. greensad.gif And we sort of believed him... Obviously we didn't just let him cry but we spent almost a week trying to get him to go this magical 'hour between nursing sessions' before we realized it really wasn't a good solution. duh.gif I still have regrets over trying to follow that 'advice' to some extent. What I NEEDED to hear from him was that nursing as frequently as my DS nursed could actually be normal (even if it's not necessarily common, at least not in the US)... mecry.gif


Along these lines, my SIL's pediatrician said that her 12 month old has developed long term memory and that she can no longer get her at night if she cries.  "That means," he said, "that even if she throws up, you are not to go in her room until morning.  Otherwise, she will learn to make herself throw up."  Um,     seriously ??? This  guy went to Medical school???  To treat  Children??? 

 

Honestly, if it wasn't for Mothering and MDC, I would feel like my husband and I were the only ones who believed in responding to your baby's every NEED as QUICKLY and BEST you can!


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#615 of 1072 Old 02-05-2011, 02:38 PM
 
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When I was a teenager high waisted dresses were in style. I was about 13 when an older lady at our church told my mom that I shouldn't be allowed to wear them because I was encouraging teen pregnancy. Surprisingly enough none of the other teens nor myself got pregnant until much much later!
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#616 of 1072 Old 02-05-2011, 08:28 PM
 
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When I was a teenager high waisted dresses were in style. I was about 13 when an older lady at our church told my mom that I shouldn't be allowed to wear them because I was encouraging teen pregnancy. Surprisingly enough none of the other teens nor myself got pregnant until much much later!

When I was a teen, I refused to wear those high waisted dresses because they made me look pregnant. Still don't like what that style dress does to my stomach. They are super cute on everyone I've seen wearing them though.

 

The first thing I bought when I got pregnant was a cute maternity top with a high waist line that really emphasized my belly.

 


 

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#617 of 1072 Old 02-05-2011, 10:21 PM
 
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My 10 month old has started throwing little fits when he gets frustrated- they are actually really cute and funny but he's obviously mad. I was telling a friend about them and she asked if we'd started disciplining him yet.

Uhhh, he's 10 MONTHS OLD! Crying and fussing are the only ways he can show his feelings and we should discipline him for showing feelings? I hope she just didn't think before she asked that one!

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My 10 month old has started throwing little fits when he gets frustrated- they are actually really cute and funny but he's obviously mad. I was telling a friend about them and she asked if we'd started disciplining him yet.

Uhhh, he's 10 MONTHS OLD! Crying and fussing are the only ways he can show his feelings and we should discipline him for showing feelings? I hope she just didn't think before she asked that one!



I don't know, she might have meant something totally different.  Showing feelings is great, and responding to it is also great, but responding in a way to just get them to be quiet is not - so maybe she meant to say that when he does throw a tantrum you shouldn't give in to what he wants?  I mean, my ds used to do that when he was that age, over things like scissors.  Obviously, at 10mo he waasn't capable of safely having scissors - so he got to throw his tantrum and I got to say "no, they are not safe" and then be empathetic while riding out the tantrum - which is a form of "discipline" b/c it teaches him that throwing a tantrum doesn't get him what he wants all the time.  Not all people use the word discipline in the negative sense of actually doing something to discipline, but rather as a teaching tool.

 

Ok, now that I'm sure I completely screwed that up and it makes no sense, I also thought the tantrums were cute at that age, lol.  Then he got bigger, and the tantrums got worse, LOL.

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My 10 month old has started throwing little fits when he gets frustrated- they are actually really cute and funny but he's obviously mad. I was telling a friend about them and she asked if we'd started disciplining him yet.

Uhhh, he's 10 MONTHS OLD! Crying and fussing are the only ways he can show his feelings and we should discipline him for showing feelings? I hope she just didn't think before she asked that one!



I don't know, she might have meant something totally different.  Showing feelings is great, and responding to it is also great, but responding in a way to just get them to be quiet is not - so maybe she meant to say that when he does throw a tantrum you shouldn't give in to what he wants?  I mean, my ds used to do that when he was that age, over things like scissors.  Obviously, at 10mo he waasn't capable of safely having scissors - so he got to throw his tantrum and I got to say "no, they are not safe" and then be empathetic while riding out the tantrum - which is a form of "discipline" b/c it teaches him that throwing a tantrum doesn't get him what he wants all the time.  Not all people use the word discipline in the negative sense of actually doing something to discipline, but rather as a teaching tool.

 

Ok, now that I'm sure I completely screwed that up and it makes no sense, I also thought the tantrums were cute at that age, lol.  Then he got bigger, and the tantrums got worse, LOL.



Discipline at that age can mean saying, "That kind of behavior is not appropriate in public." when he throws a fit at the store or something...not necessarily punishment.


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My 10 month old has started throwing little fits when he gets frustrated- they are actually really cute and funny but he's obviously mad. I was telling a friend about them and she asked if we'd started disciplining him yet.

Uhhh, he's 10 MONTHS OLD! Crying and fussing are the only ways he can show his feelings and we should discipline him for showing feelings? I hope she just didn't think before she asked that one!



I don't know, she might have meant something totally different.  Showing feelings is great, and responding to it is also great, but responding in a way to just get them to be quiet is not - so maybe she meant to say that when he does throw a tantrum you shouldn't give in to what he wants?  I mean, my ds used to do that when he was that age, over things like scissors.  Obviously, at 10mo he waasn't capable of safely having scissors - so he got to throw his tantrum and I got to say "no, they are not safe" and then be empathetic while riding out the tantrum - which is a form of "discipline" b/c it teaches him that throwing a tantrum doesn't get him what he wants all the time.  Not all people use the word discipline in the negative sense of actually doing something to discipline, but rather as a teaching tool.

 

Ok, now that I'm sure I completely screwed that up and it makes no sense, I also thought the tantrums were cute at that age, lol.  Then he got bigger, and the tantrums got worse, LOL.



Discipline at that age can mean saying, "That kind of behavior is not appropriate in public." when he throws a fit at the store or something...not necessarily punishment.


Ok, you said it WAY better than me!  Wow my brain wasn't working earlier!  LOL

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#621 of 1072 Old 02-07-2011, 10:54 AM
 
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My 10 month old has started throwing little fits when he gets frustrated- they are actually really cute and funny but he's obviously mad. I was telling a friend about them and she asked if we'd started disciplining him yet.

Uhhh, he's 10 MONTHS OLD! Crying and fussing are the only ways he can show his feelings and we should discipline him for showing feelings? I hope she just didn't think before she asked that one!



I don't know, she might have meant something totally different.  Showing feelings is great, and responding to it is also great, but responding in a way to just get them to be quiet is not - so maybe she meant to say that when he does throw a tantrum you shouldn't give in to what he wants?  I mean, my ds used to do that when he was that age, over things like scissors.  Obviously, at 10mo he waasn't capable of safely having scissors - so he got to throw his tantrum and I got to say "no, they are not safe" and then be empathetic while riding out the tantrum - which is a form of "discipline" b/c it teaches him that throwing a tantrum doesn't get him what he wants all the time.  Not all people use the word discipline in the negative sense of actually doing something to discipline, but rather as a teaching tool.

 

Ok, now that I'm sure I completely screwed that up and it makes no sense, I also thought the tantrums were cute at that age, lol.  Then he got bigger, and the tantrums got worse, LOL.



Discipline at that age can mean saying, "That kind of behavior is not appropriate in public." when he throws a fit at the store or something...not necessarily punishment.


Ok, you said it WAY better than me!  Wow my brain wasn't working earlier!  LOL


True... but in the context of other discussions we've had, I don't think that's what she meant. Also, to clarify his tantrums- he throws most of them when his toy isn't doing what he wants (whatever that is.) When he wants the computer or the camera or to pull electrical plugs out of the wall and throws a fit, we do tell him he can't have it and I don't often laugh at the tantrum that follows that.

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My mom complains I spend too much time with baby and not enough cleaning my house.

Well, a few days ago she complained my step-sister-in-law cleans her house too much and spends too little time with her baby.

I figure with my mom you can't win for losing. And my house will be clean once the children move out, I cannot go back in time and cuddle a sleeping 10 month old.

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#623 of 1072 Old 02-07-2011, 04:16 PM
 
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Yesterday at work my coworker was saying that she woudl probably need a c section because her baby is breech at 7 months. I was telling her about how spending time on yur hands and knees can encourage the baby to turn (it worked for me) and the Webster technique and all that and another coworker goes, "that sounds too easy. not medical enough. I wouldn't do it." ay yay yay.......


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#624 of 1072 Old 02-07-2011, 04:34 PM
 
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Along the lines of scratching your head while PG, when I was PG with DS someone (I can't remember who) told me I shouldn't drive a 5spd car because I would wrap the cord around his neck. People get strange things in their head and just have to share I guess.

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Wow, those two take the cake for making the least sense!!  :scratch

 

She's otherwise, um, sensible?!?



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#625 of 1072 Old 02-09-2011, 03:47 PM
 
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Ok, you said it WAY better than me!  Wow my brain wasn't working earlier!  LOL



True... but in the context of other discussions we've had, I don't think that's what she meant. Also, to clarify his tantrums- he throws most of them when his toy isn't doing what he wants (whatever that is.) When he wants the computer or the camera or to pull electrical plugs out of the wall and throws a fit, we do tell him he can't have it and I don't often laugh at the tantrum that follows that.


I DO find that most people mean discipline in the sense of "get the child to stop making the display of emotion".  Most people don't seem to grasp the concept that having and showing emotions are ok.  Most people are afraid of emotions, and act in a way that passes that fear onto the child.  My husband has a lot of trouble with this concept.  


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#626 of 1072 Old 02-09-2011, 04:59 PM
 
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I DO find that most people mean discipline in the sense of "get the child to stop making the display of emotion".  Most people don't seem to grasp the concept that having and showing emotions are ok.  Most people are afraid of emotions, and act in a way that passes that fear onto the child.  My husband has a lot of trouble with this concept.  

 

Maybe I run in weird circles, but I've never met a parent who has disciplined a child under a year in the sense of trying to scare them.  At least not intentionally, I mean I've had some moments of serious frustration, but I've never thought to myself, "I need to scare him out of expressing emotion" and I don't know any parents that do think that.
 

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#627 of 1072 Old 02-10-2011, 06:45 AM
 
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I don't think it is conscious.  I mean that the adults themselves are afraid of expressions of emotions.  When a child tantrums, they are desperate to stop it, and that conveys to the child that their large emotions are inherently frightening.  


Leigh, mama to Rostislav homeborn Aug 9 2007, and Oksana homeborn Feb 24 2011.
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#628 of 1072 Old 02-10-2011, 08:35 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Lilya View Post

I don't think it is conscious.  I mean that the adults themselves are afraid of expressions of emotions.  When a child tantrums, they are desperate to stop it, and that conveys to the child that their large emotions are inherently frightening.  



Yeah, I still disagree.  The only person that reacts that way to my ds's tantrums is a woman is highly emotionally unstable.  Everyone else is fine with ds screaming over something he wants but can't have, and will just say, "sorry sweetie, the scissors are dangerous.  do you want some cuddles to help you calm down?"

 

Other parents I know are much more like that as well.

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#629 of 1072 Old 02-10-2011, 08:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Lilya View Post

I don't think it is conscious.  I mean that the adults themselves are afraid of expressions of emotions.  When a child tantrums, they are desperate to stop it, and that conveys to the child that their large emotions are inherently frightening.  



Yeah, I still disagree.  The only person that reacts that way to my ds's tantrums is a woman is highly emotionally unstable.  Everyone else is fine with ds screaming over something he wants but can't have, and will just say, "sorry sweetie, the scissors are dangerous.  do you want some cuddles to help you calm down?"

 

Other parents I know are much more like that as well.



When I want to stop my DS's meltdowns it's usually because I'm frustrated...or he's going to wake the baby I just spent hours trying to get down for a nap. It isn't about stopping HIS emotions, it's more about being at the end of mine.


Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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#630 of 1072 Old 02-10-2011, 08:42 AM
 
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When I want to stop my DS's meltdowns it's usually because I'm frustrated...or he's going to wake the baby I just spent hours trying to get down for a nap. It isn't about stopping HIS emotions, it's more about being at the end of mine.


Yeah, that happens to me too.  Sometimes I just have to walk away and calm down for a few!  It does get frustrating.

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